Oh dear. I owe you all an explanation.

Originally, I had planned a brief pause in my posting (due to being at various music festivals and computer maintenance needed for the upcoming school year blah blah blah) to last from August 1st to 5th. But as we know life is messy and awful and while installing an update to software on my laptop, the universe decided to wipe my whole hard drive, deleting all my writing for Lavender and the final few chapters I had yet to post. Yes, for those keeping score, this is the second time over the course of writing this story that I've had computer issues...

Naturally I did what any writer does in this kind of situation: I drank a lot and cried about technology. For a while I debated giving up on this story entirely. But lucky for you I have an unnatural attachment to Harvest Moon and couldn't stand letting this go unfinished.

I cannot stress this enough: this story will have an ending. And for those of you wondering, yes, I am rewriting the ending to the best of my ability and will post it as soon as I deem it finished.

Thank you, to those of you who stuck with Ash and Lillian. And me too, I guess :)

"It's actually quite a good look for you. I always thought your eyes were your best feature."

"Shut up."

Cam chuckled at him and dodged a rather poorly aimed snow ball, hoisting a crate of what he supposed were gentian flowers and settling it on his table. The older boy zipped his jacket up tighter, glancing up at the sky. "Looks like we might get a bit of snow for tonight. Just thought I'd mention it, in case you can't see it."

He sighed, and allowed Cam to snort himself into silence. He supposed he should have been expecting it. He had been avoiding the village for almost a week now, but he could hardly sit around forever. While his jaw was mended for the most part (albeit with the occasional stiffness) his black eye was just as ugly as ever, the bruising having leached down his cheek and spread purple and yellow stains on his face.

Cam smirked at him. "So? Do I get to hear the whole riveting story?"

"I'm sure you've already heard it from other people."

"Of course. Doesn't mean I don't want to hear it straight from the horse's mouth."

The wind picked up slightly and he was spared the immediate pretext of answering through the act of tightening his scarf around his neck. "... I got into it with Kana from Konohana."

Cam's smirk widened, unable to resist the temptation he had offered. "Is 'it' the bottom of the river?"

He decided to ignore Cam's teasing and instead settled on sulking about his usual corner of the flower stand. "For the last time, shut it. I just… I didn't like the way he was treating Lillian." He sighed, holding up a hand to stop the other boy from speaking before he had finished opening his mouth. "Don't bother telling me off, she's already done it for you. I know okay? I just can't help it. I don't like seeing her getting walked all over. It's wrong for her."

"... Well, it's not really your business to decide that, is it?"

He sent Cam a scathing look, a flare of annoyance running though him. "So you think I should have just let him treat her like that? Like she was his to boss around?"

Cam didn't quite meet his gaze, but instead ducked under the frozen table cloth, emerging after a brief moment with a rather frosty crowbar. He paused, frowning so that the corner of his mouth dimpled. "No, I don't think you should have just let him... But all the same, she may very well be his now. She's certainly not yours, unless that's changed?"

He hesitated slightly. "No." Cam caught his eye and he dropped his gaze to the ground, shifting his feet in the snow. "Nothing happened, I mean... I thought it might. But she's so set in her ways now; I don't think there's anything else I can say that can bring her back." He brought up a hand to pick at his chin, watching as Cam eased the crowbar into a crack and propped off the top of the crate. "Why are you even bothering with flowers? Isn't it a bit cold here for them?"

"As I tell you every winter, gentians are a late autumn blossom." Cam produced one of the flowers in question and fumbled it slightly in his gloved hands before placing it gently in the empty vase beside him. "They prefer a cooler, mountain climate. As long as I take them inside every few hours, they're fine. Besides, you'll be glad I have them, should you be in need." He sent Ash a rather hard look, jerking his head at the cafe window. "Speaking of which, you haven't mentioned if that is still going on."

He followed his gaze and locked eyes with Laney, who jumped behind the panelled glass and went back to attending her tables. She was clearly still waiting on an answer from him. He dropped his eyes and stared at the blue petals of the gentians, shrugging. "Not really, I suppose."

"Still haven't given her a straight answer?"

"Not in the slightest." He sighed, fitting his hat more snugly about his head. "How am I supposed to think about her feelings when I haven't even figured out my own?"

"Oh, I'd say you've gotten them figured out. At least enough to know who you'd rather have."

He jerked his eyes up from the petals, catching Cam staring at him with an oddly set look on his face. It was very rare to see the other boy so thoughtful; usually their conversations were so filled with sarcasm it was hard to take anything seriously. "And what makes you say that?"

Cam shrugged, still refusing to drop his gaze. "If you had, Laney would have her answer by now."

He couldn't think of much to say, yet, he supposed Cam was right. If he was honest with himself, he had known that all along.

Cam seemed to know what he was thinking, and reached across the table to pat his shoulder. "I know Lillian almost as well as you do, and if there's one thing I know it's that her stubbornness gets in the way of her good heart. And I also know you, and I know that you won't move on until you know you've exhausted every possible way to break through to her… Look, do you want my honest thoughts on the matter?"

He didn't say anything, but Cam ploughed on. It felt as if he had waited a long time to say these words, as if he had wanted their timing to count for something. "I want you both to be happy. And I know neither of you can be happy until you've finished saying what you need to say to each other, be that good or bad. If it was me, I'd give it one more try. And then you'll know. And I'll know too."

"Know what?"

"How many more times Laney will ask me if you've made up your mind."

Hours after his meeting with Cam, he was still awake. Maybe he had gone without sleep for so long now that any form of unconsciousness felt unfamiliar. But if he was being honest with himself, it was Cam's frankness from their earlier exchange rattling around his head that made it impossible for him to settle.

He shifted onto his side, trying to get comfortable. Cam was right, of course. It was clear, now that the idea had been presented to him, that he would have to confront Lillian one last time. Maybe he had always known he could never move on unless he knew for sure there was no chance... And given his last encounter at her house, he suspected, perhaps…

His eyes pulled into focus on Cheryl as she let out a tiny snore. She seemed so much smaller when she was asleep, even her shape under the blanket seemed tinier than it should have been. Especially when compared to-

He sat up onto his elbow and scanned the other side of the room. There was no mistaking it, his mother wasn't in bed. It was strange, not seeing her there, after so many years of waking near her and seeking comfort from various nightmares... He strained his ears against the silence of the night. A tiny bang of the cupboard stiffened his resolve; Carefully, he pulled on his trousers and slung a shirt over his shoulders, not bothering to tuck it in as he tread as quietly as he could across the creaky floor.

"Can't sleep?" He said quietly once he found her, making her jump slightly and slosh warm milk down her front as she turned to face him.

She looked rather embarrassed for someone who had been caught staring dreamily out of a dark window. "You gave me a fright, Ash."

He watched her pat her damp front for a moment before he crossed the room and began to fill himself a glass of water. "Too thirsty to sleep?"

"Not particularly. I was just checking to see if it was a full moon tonight... Your grandmother used to say the full moon bothers the sleep cycle." She watched him take a full gulp of water, his jaw still a little tight despite the amount of time it had spent healing. "Let me take a look at that, would you?"

She tugged him into a chair and allowed him another clumsy gulp of water before she began to inspect his face, her eye level almost even with his now that he was sitting. "It's been a week and still stiff. Well, time heals all wounds, but even then I don't know if it will ever be the same... At least your eye is looking better. The bruising means the blood is starting to circulate." She paused, her thumb and forefinger pulling back his bruised lid. "It is nice, living in a village where people protect their own. I'm... I'm glad Lillian was there."

She avoided his gaze and settled on turning her back to refill his water. He could see her reflection in the glass, her eyebrows knitted together. "After everything she did, you still don't like her?" He asked quietly.

The tap stopped running and she turned back to him, smiling grimly. "Ash, I probably owe her your life. If she hadn't been there... But, well, we both know you fought because of her..."

"I fought because Kana is an ass. He was treating both of us like dirt and it was my responsibility to-"

"To what exactly?" His mother cut in, raising an eyebrow. She was still smiling in that grim fashion. "To defend the honour of a simple farm girl?"

He couldn't think of a response to that and made up for his silence by glaring at her, wishing he hadn't gotten out of bed. She crossed the room and set the water down next to him, taking his face in her hands.

"You look so much like him. Your father. Sometimes I have to remind myself that you aren't him. That you won't make his mistakes..." He felt a pang at the comparison and wanted to jerk himself out of her grip, but she held him strong, her eyes suddenly soft.

"I want to apologize. I... I judged Lillian before I knew her. She reminds me of another girl I met a long time ago... The one who took your father away." They both ignored her lower lip wobbling slightly. "Those aren't her crimes and it's time she stopped paying for them."

He reached an arm up to grip her about the forearm, her fingers stroking his cheeks, unable to think of anything to say. But as always, she spoke for him.

"I know you love her. And I don't know if it's different from the way you love Laney... Well, you know where I stand. I've wanted Laney as a daughter since the moment I laid eyes on her but... It's time I learnt my place. I refused to let you live the same lie as your father. It's taken you nearly drowning to realize, and I'm sorry it hasn't happened sooner."

She leant in, kissed his hair and finally let him go. "I think it's time we both got some sleep then. Now that my guilty conscience is off my back..."

"Yeah..." He croaked, his palm gripping the water glass. "I'm just going to finish this. Night, Mom. And thanks, for what you said..."

He watched her disappear into the darkened bedroom, his head beginning to spin. Well one thing was obvious, at least.

He wasn't going to bed. He was going to Lillian's.

I promise to update soon... Review please :)