I'm really impressed and grateful that I got two reviews already, it makes me feel proud of the work I've accomplished. I was originally going to wait a few days to post this chapter, but because I really want to start planning my NaNoWriMo for this year and set up my profile page and everything, I thought I'd post this now. I know this sounds really mean, but if this chapter gets at least four reviews the next chapter will come within two days after and at least six reviews means chapter (most likely) within 24 hours.

Chapter Two

I am in misery

Kurt stared at the man who had his back to him, Blaine was still shuddering, still attempting to wipe away tears with the back of his sleeve. Kurt knew that Blaine had been taking Kurt's illness badly and he knew that his partner was distraught by everything. However, as much as Kurt wanted to believe in Blaine and believe in this pain, he still had worries and doubts. No matter how much the 90% of his heart trusted in Blaine's goodness and purity, there was still 10% that remembered the time that Blaine cheated on him. Kurt knew he would never ever forget that.

"I…" Blaine choked, "I'm really sorry."

Kurt inhaled sharply and nodded very slowly, maybe he could understand the fact that Blaine had needs and would go elsewhere to get them fulfilled, no. He couldn't understand that. Blaine had had to earn his trust once before and Kurt wasn't willing to do it again, especially with the way his body was now.

He let his breath drop low, "Did you have sex with someone else? Maybe on Twitter this time?" he shrugged, attempting to make a joke and Blaine turned around, his face horrified and sickened. Kurt looked into his eyes and knew he was wrong. He knew Blaine so well that he could tell when he could trust him.

"Of course not," Blaine replied, "I'm just so scared that I'm not taking care of you properly."

Kurt coughed, he sat down on the bed and Blaine quickly sat down next to him, Kurt allowed the younger male to rest his curly haired head on his own shoulder and he took Blaine's hand, rubbing small circles on the back of it with his thumb.

"You're doing the best you can, that's all I or anyone else can ask you to do," Kurt replied as Blaine looked at him, the trace of fear dancing in his eyes.

"Really?" Blaine had to ask.

"Blaine," Kurt smiled as he kissed Blaine's neck and heard the soft hum from his partner, "I love you, now I'm honestly," Kurt pulled back, "a little angry at you for not spending time with June like you used to and especially dropping out of NYADA to take care of me. I'm also a little worried that you got hired in that part of Queens, but I know that you just want to make me feel better and despite all the anger and frustration I feel I love you. I know in my heart that the only reason you are doing this is because of how much you love me."

There was silence as Blaine bowed his head, a few more tears running down his cheek, coated like ink due to the eye makeup. He bit his lip as he tasted the lip gloss that was meant to make him (or at least his lips) sparkle. God, why did he hate that word 'sparkle' it wasn't like he was a vampire from a badly written young adult series.

"I just need you to know I love you too baby, so much, so very very much."

Blaine turned as he kissed Kurt delicately on the top of his head. Kurt continued to very gently nuzzle Blaine's neck. Right now this was as close as they could get, well maybe when they slept curled up with each other it was more intimate, but god Kurt missed the sex.

"Never knew I could feel like this, like I've never seen the sky before," Blaine whispered softly as Kurt nodded.

"Want to vanish inside your kiss, every day I'm loving you more and more"

Blaine smiled as he turned on the bed and took Kurt's hands in his, he brought each to his lips and placed a gentle and loving kiss on each. Instead of saying the next line of the romantic song, their romantic song, Blaine whispered very quietly. "So, it would be okay for me to go back to NYADA next semester?"

Kurt stared at him, he nodded quickly, "God honey, of course it would be okay. I want you there, you know how, when you sent me off to New York you said that seeing me dying because of my decisions, my life choices was killing me and that in turn was killing you. You giving up on your dreams is killing me."

Blaine frowned, he closed his eyes tightly and shook his head, "Don't ever say those words," he said trying to measure both his inhale and his exhale, "I know that you don't mean them this way, but I don't want you to ever even joke about something killing you or you dying, I can't live without you. I j-just can't."

Kurt softly stood up from the bed and walked over to the dresser, he fiddled with one of the bow ties in Blaine's box where he kept his bow tie collection, "I'm so glad that none of these bow ties have disappeared," he said in an attempt to change the subject. "I love seeing you in each and every one of them."

There was silence, Blaine kept inhaling and exhaling as someone did when they blew up a balloon. He couldn't keep calm after this, he wanted to make everything right for Kurt, he wanted to make everything perfect again. "I should go and get the groceries, I didn't manage to pick them up today and you need to eat some healthier food."

Kurt nodded softly, however he quickly turned back to Blaine, determination in his eyes. "I'll come with you, we can decide on which of the recommended meals we can make together, but first I want you to do something for me."

Blaine looked towards Kurt and blinked, nodding slowly, his eyes asking Kurt to continue.

"When was the last time you called June?" Kurt asked, "You don't seem to be speaking about her that often anymore. You used to tell me stories all the time about the events that she took you to, you told me that you were taking some time off and she understood but was disappointed."

Blaine slowly took another breath in, "Yes, that's right," he answered honestly.

June hadn't understood at first, quite the opposite anyway, she had told Blaine directly that she refused to understand. It was when the HIV bomb had hit the table that June finally understood and was letting Blaine have some time to decide what he wanted to do. That was a little over a week ago, though he had been seeing her less and less since he started his position as Night's Shadow (or 'Shadow').

"I want you to call her, I want you to arrange to meet her. Coffee shop, restaurant, sauna, I don't care where because what matters most is you not giving up on your dreams. You don't see me doing that do you?"

Blaine shook his head, "You're right," he replied.

He nervously played with his phone as he picked it up off of the bedside table. Scrolling down with his finger he managed to find June's number and then pressed it, he wasn't expecting her to pick up and if she did, he was expecting her to have moved on or show some bitterness towards him. June wasn't like Isabelle, she wasn't the mentor who wanted to be your best friend.

Instead she answered at the point Blaine was expecting the call to be pushed onto voice mail.

"Well, if it isn't the young rising star," June replied in a firm voice, "I was thinking of letting your call go onto voice mail, Blaine. There's no one who's told me no before when I've so clearly wanted to help them become a big New York name."

"I'm sorry about that June," Blaine choked, "I mean Ms Dolloway."

"It's still June for you, now I expect you're calling because you want one of those blue moon chances that I haven't given up on you," June left a long silence as Blaine tried to figure out whether to speak or not, he had spent so much time running from opportunity that he didn't know how to handle rejection anymore. "Well, thanks to your successful showcase, I am still hearing my name quite a lot, I think if we do another one of those, maybe add some charity project into it, it would be a great success for you and well…of course…for me as well."

Blaine smiled softly, his eyes glimmering through the tears. He tried to keep his voice steady, "Really? Thank you June, thank you for not giving up on me."

As Kurt heard that he beamed proudly as he watched his fiancee. Finally, finally, Kurt had done something to help the man who had given him so much and was still sacrificing so much of himself.

"I'd like to talk to you over a lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, how about on Tuesday at 2pm at Vertical" she said as Blaine made a note of this on a piece of paper. Despite the stupidity of its name, Vertical was a famous diner that June had taken him to before. "Of course my treat, you'll just have to tell me how you're handling being a carer."

Blaine nodded, "I will June," he promised, "I'll see you then. I won't cancel on you."

"Make sure you don't," June replied, "See you there Blaine."

Blaine nodded as he got off of the phone, he put it onto the counter and looked at Kurt with a weak smile. He felt as if he had betrayed Eric by doing this, it would be hard to live three separate lives, he could barely keep up with the two he was currently living. "She's interested in doing another showcase, she might even let you have more involvement…if you're up to it of course."

Kurt nodded as he gazed fondly at the other man, "I'm so proud of you honeybee, I'm so proud to be with you."

"Good," Blaine choked remembering the first time they had had sex, a time when they were so young and felt so much freedom and safety from one another, "I want you to be."