I have no excuse for how late this is except that I have been working on this for a few weeks and am still unhappy with the state it is in. Oh well, on to bigger and better things.

"Are you sure she's still coming dear?"

He tore his eyes away from the window beyond the sales counter, his throat itching against the collar of his shirt. Lillian was nearly an hour late. The thought of how he looked, dressed up in his nice slacks and stiff shirt, waiting on a girl who clearly wasn't going to show… It made him sick. But they had agreed to tell them together, hadn't they? Or rather, he had told her… Still, it didn't excuse her from running. From him, from his family, from their future together.

He swallowed thickly, feeling the pool of dread that had been sitting in his stomach all day begin to boil. "Let's just eat now, Mom, Cheryl's hungry. Besides, we'll still have plenty when she comes." He avoided the sympathetic look on his mother's face, forcing his mouth into a smile that felt more like a grimace. No turning back now. With or without Lillian, he had to do this. If he wanted to be with her, and he certainly did, he would have to tell them.

He took his place beside Cheryl at the table and gave her pig tail an affectionate tug. "Your ribbon is coming out." He grinned, reaching over to fix the lacy piece of fabric more steadily in her hair.

Cheryl blew a raspberry at him, perching on her knees against the stiff backed chair. "Smells good, Mom!"

And looked good too. He felt a pang of guilt as his mother appeared holding a rather large pork roast drizzled with a rich sauce, the amount of effort she had put into dinner, not just for the occasion but for Lillian's appearance, made her absence more pronounced somehow. "Thanks, Mom." He tried to grin.

Jessica smiled in a slightly sad fashion at him- she of all people knew what it was like to be stood up, didn't she? "My pleasure. And you're right, there will be plenty for Lillian when she gets here. I wonder what's keeping her."

He reached across the table to fill his plate, clearing his throat slightly as he did so. "She gets busy, down at that farm by herself. Actually, we had something we wanted to tell you both, but seeing as she's not here…" He set his plate back in front of him and stared at the gravy in hopes of finding courage, all the while bracing himself for the worst. "Well… Mom, Cheryl- I've decided I want to court Lillian."

There was a loud smack as his mother dropped a slab of roast against her plate, splattering the front of her best blouse with sauce, her mouth falling open slightly. "What?"

He found himself smiling, real this time, at the stunned expression on her face. But really, what else had he expected? Trying not to let the humor of the situation get to him, he focused on explaining himself. "I want to marry Lillian, Mom. And I think she wants to marry me too. And this spring… I was thinking of going to meet her parents. In Mineral Town."

Beside him Cheryl's spoon had paused in mid-air on its way to her mouth, the spoonful of mashed potatoes beginning to drip back onto her plate. Jessica was scrubbing at the stain on her blouse, sounding flustered as she spoke. "M-married? Oh my goodness- dear, well this is exciting. A little fast for my taste, but-"

"Fast? Mom, you were the one who told me to-"

"Well of course dear, but I just thought- You two have only known each other for a year, not even! Not that I'm not happy for you, but, well, it's all very sudden!"

He sighed. "You're not alone in that. I think she thinks so too. But… It has to be fast Mom. Listen… Lillian's parents- they're not doing so well. Especially her mom. I just- I want to meet them before it's too late. And get their blessing, and be there for her when… Well, you know." He paused, picking at a bit of roast and rubbing it into the sauce. "Her mother really isn't doing well. Lillian doesn't know how long she has and-"

"But you can't leave!" Cheryl seemed to have found her voice again, her spoon clattering back to her plate and she turned her tiny body towards Ash, looking furious. "You need to stay here!"

He smiled, reaching out to grab at her pig tail and trying to ignore the his stomach drop as she dodged out from his grasp. "Don't worry Cheryl. I won't be gone long, just for the spring. And I'll be back just in time for summer and we can spend all that time together, just like always."

But Cheryl didn't look soothed- on the contrary, her cheeks were beginning to go maroon with fury. "But what about after! If you're getting married- what about me? Who will I play with? And where will you live? With us?"

At this his mother promptly caught his eye. "She's right Ash. You need to stay close to home, Cheryl isn't old enough to run a farm, and you know I can't manage this whole place myself."

He let out an exasperated laugh, removing his hat momentarily to run a hand through his hair. "I knew you wouldn't understand. Look… there's no need to get excited yet, okay? It won't be that big of a change. Half the animals are away being bred in the Spring anyway, and at last count it's only the chickens and one cow that are being left behind. Cheryl, you already look after the chickens and Mom- Mom you can handle one cow." He held up a hand to silence his mother who looked on the verge of arguing. "Don't try to tell me I'm being irresponsible. You know it's a slow season around here, you can manage. I just- I can't let her go, okay? I know you guys don't get it. Mom, she makes me so happy. I can't live without her. And I can't let her go home alone, not when I don't know what she's going into."

Jessica stared at him for a moment before she took a long sip of water and set her glass down heavily against the table, her fingers spinning the base absently as she met his gaze once more. "I understand, dear. But you have to be back for summer, that's a busy season here. Well maybe not so busy, if Lillian is willing to lend a hand. I guess she'll be a part of this family business soon enough…" His mother's face was beginning to brighten as she mulled everything over.

"Things will be better when I get back, Mom. I'll settle down… We'll stay in Bluebell, I promise."

Cheryl was still grumbling beside him. "I don't want you to get married."

He sighed. "Sorry kiddo, but that isn't up to you." He nudged her affectionately. "But don't you worry; we have a while before that happens. Besides, we both know the only thing that's going to change is that you'll get another farm to run around on."

Cheryl had opened her mouth to say something but was cut off at the sound of a knock from the door. Rising rather cautiously and refusing to let the hopeful lurch of his stomach get the better of him, he caught his mother's eye. "Be nice." He said warningly, twisting the doorknob as he spoke.

"You're late." He said before the door was fully open, his breath catching slightly in his throat as he caught sight of her.

"I know." She sent him a guilty smile, leaning slightly to her left to avoid his accusing look and address his family inside. "I'm sorry; my cattle wouldn't settle in the barn, all the snow outside makes them nervous."

His mother had appeared at his elbow; evidently Cheryl hadn't bothered to rise from the table. "Well, we know better than anyone how tricky cattle can be, don't we?" He caught himself wincing at the sickly sweet tone Jessica had adopted- well, at least she was trying. "Well? Let's not leave her out in the cold. Ash, be a dear and take her coat, I'll go fix her a plate."

"Here." He pulled her behind the sales counter as his mother tottered off. Beyond the view of the dining room table he moved to stand behind her with the pretext of sliding her coat off her shoulders. "So. Cattle wouldn't settle?"

She looked back at him over her shoulder, a guilty took etched on her features. Except, they weren't the features he knew; she had done something to herself, smudged a black line here and there to make her look more doe-eyed than usual, her lips much more pouted and crimson. And her hair wasn't its usual mess of springy curls; instead, a neat row of waves cascaded down her back. The effect sent a low swooping sensation in his stomach, and for a moment he had to remind himself to be upset. "Looks that way." She mumbled, shrugging out of her coat.

He turned away from the floaty satin dress she wore, ignoring the fact that it was the exact shade of green as the flecks in her eyes, in favour of hanging her coat on a hook. "We both know you can more than handle fussy cattle, Lillian. What's the real reason I just spent an hour convincing my mother about our future together alone?"

He felt her staring at him but refused to face her, keeping focus instead on the buttons of her coat. He could smell lavender and knew she must be running her hands through her hair, ruining the neat curls for his sake. "I'm sorry, okay? I just... I wasn't sure if it would be better if I came or not."

"We agreed to tell them together Lillian."

"Well I'm here, aren't I?" She caught herself on the verge of speaking too loud and let out another sigh, grabbing his arm and turning him around. "I'm here now. Look, I'll make it up to them. Give some sort of explanation."

He allowed her to reach up to adjust his tie, which admittedly was a bit of the mess given the fact that his father had never been around to teach him how to tie it. "You do think it was a good idea to tell them, right?"

In response she dropped her hands, staring at the knot she had just fixed. "I don't know."

"Why not?"

"You know why."

"No I don't." They were on the edge of one of their arguments again, both their cheeks beginning to become heated as they fought to keep their tone quiet. "Lillian, we agreed to tell them. We agreed that telling them is what is best for us and our-"

"Excuse me!" She hissed, her hands flying to her hips. "I don't recall agreeing to any of this! And who are you to decide what's best for me-"

He snorted. "Oh, I'm only the man who's going to be your husband, that's all-"

She barely held in her snarl as she spoke, the word 'husband' seeming to enrage her more than anything else. "You can tell them all the lies you want, just don't expect me to lie to them too, that's not on me!"

"They aren't lies-"

"Well they aren't the truth, Ash!" She hissed. "Don't tell me you didn't make it sound like we were going to be married the moment we get back, I know you did! What else did you tell them? I don't even know how long I'll be in Mineral Town, and it wasn't even my idea for you to come along, and if you just think I'm going to come back and I'll want to get married suddenly-"

"Wait." He stopped in the movement of running his hand through his hair. "Wait. You- you do want to get married, right? Eventually?"

She hesitated. "I want to be with you, yes."

He reached up to turn her chin towards him, ducking his head to look at her better. "I know. But- but you've always wanted to get married, right? I mean, you told me a while ago you left Mineral Town because there was nobody to have a future with. You meant nobody to be married to, and have kids with, right? You want kids?"

She shrugged, looking at him a little sadly. "I don't know, Ash. Really, I don't. I mean, I've thought about it, yes. But... I don't know. Can you really see me? Being a mom? Wearing an apron and waiting for you to come home every day?"

He had to admit that he did have a bit of a problem envisioning it, Lillian as anything other than young and stubborn and toiling away on the farm. "Okay." He sighed, some of his breath stirring the curls about her neck. "Okay. Let's... let's just make it through this dinner without clawing each other's throats out. We're here, we're with each other. We can figure out the details later. Okay?"

She continued to look at him a little skeptically but suddenly sighed, reaching out like she used to and punching him affectionately in the shoulder. "Okay. But remember, this is your lie, not mine."

"And what does that mean?"

"It means; you can fight for your cause all you want. Just don't expect me not to fight for mine."

He didn't have time to dissect what she said, for she had grabbed his arm and propelled him in front of her, forcing him to lead her back into the dining room. "There you two are!" His mother smiled, ushering the two of them back to the table and gesturing excitedly to the Lillian's overflowing plate.

Surprisingly the dinner was going remarkably better than the last; his mother seemed to be trying to repair past damage by taking it upon herself to treat Lillian as she would Laney, asking questions about the farm and laughing at her unfunny comments. Even Cheryl seemed to be restricting herself, not talking much but still sending Lillian glares whenever she thought Ash wasn't looking. She had plenty of opportunity; he was watching Lillian so suspiciously throughout the whole meal that he felt as if he was a spectator in some sort of deranged zoo- waiting, on edge, for her to reveal the meaning behind her words.

"So, dear, Ash tells us that you'll be heading back to Mineral Town this Spring?"

Lillian caught his eye across the table and he willed her to be polite, his heart picking up as she carefully chewed and swallowed her food. Before she spoke he knew, suddenly, what she had meant; and at the same time, realized that in this moment she intended to light the match that would destroy his chances of accompanying her. "Yeah. My mother is ill and I think it's important to visit. Help my dad out, you know."

"Of course." He mother said sweetly, her finger swirling around the rim of her wine glass. "Of course dear. And Ash tells us he's going too."

There was a moment of awkward silence as Lillian carefully set her silverware down against her plate, one hand reaching up to tuck her hair neatly behind her ear as her cheeks went pink. The very image of a woman preparing for a fight. "No, Ash is just under the impression he's going."

"Is that so?"

"Yes." He caught Lillian's eye once more and felt his heart press even more fiercely against his ribs. So this was it. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew she had been planning this for a while; it didn't matter what he said to his mother. Lillian would undo everything. "I've told him a thousand times that he needs to stay here with you. You need him much more than I do."

The energy at the table shifted, and for the first time ever he watched Lillian exchange a swift glance with Cheryl, as if a predetermined plan was falling into place. "Oh Ash, but we do need you!" Cheryl piped up, rearranging herself on her knees in a poor attempt to reach his height. "Please don't leave! I don't want you to go."

"See?" Lillian said smoothly. "I've told him how badly Cheryl would miss him."

He glared at them both, a feeling of utter betrayal spreading through him. Why was Lillian doing this? Why was she working so hard to undo him? What was she so afraid of- him meeting her parents, him getting closer to her, the both of them getting closer to their inevitable future together-

"But dear." Jessica's finger had frozen on the glass, her eyes searching Lillian's across the table. "Pardon me, but don't I recall you telling Ash- not too long ago, I'm sure- that it would be good for him to get outside the village? Spend some time away from his home?"

He seized the opportunity his mother gave him, finding his voice at last. "You said it yourself, Lillian. And I agree, okay? I know this trip is about your mother and seeing your home but-I won't be able to leave Bluebell otherwise."

Lillian's eyes narrowed. "I know I said that." He could see her struggling against herself, her teeth running along her lower lip. So if she still believed those words, why was she still insisting he didn't come? Was she ashamed of him? "Look. My family shouldn't be a concern to you. What you have here- all this tradition, all this responsibility- that's what important. Right Jessica?"

Three heads turned to his mother as she considered Lillian. So this had been her final blow- the reminder, no matter how subtle, of exactly how important his role was as the only male in the family. He could practically see his mother's mind whirring, the deed to the ranch swimming before his own vision. This would be the end of it. Lillian had secured the upper hand.

The shock of his mother's hand flying across the table to grasp Lillian's sent the deed flying from his mind's eye. No, no. It wasn't over. He could see it in his mother's expression; without warning he knew, as she knotted her fingers through Lillian's, that whatever the young woman had said had been received with the opposite effect. His tried to catch his mother's eyes across the table, but as if she was seeing her for the first time, she only had eyes for Lillian. "Oh, dear. I have to admire your selflessness. And have to admit that I've misjudged you."

He could see his own shock reflected on Lillian's face as she sputtered slightly. "What?"

Jessica patted her hand gently, looking sympathetically up at her. "Ash has told us of course. Of the nature of his interest in you. And... Lillian, I think his meeting your parents is an important step in your courtship. It solidifies things, yes? And after all, your family will be his family before long."

"What?"

His mother let out a tinkling laugh. "Oh dear, you do seem surprised. Through marriage, of course. I was a little hesitant, naturally. But of course I understand the need for the rush, given your mother. And if everything you've said tonight is any indication, you're just as committed to our family as any woman in this town would have been."

Lillian turned her alarmed face back to him and he knew the battle was won- there would be no going against the word of his mother. "Of course." Lillian said through gritted teeth, wincing as Jessica patted her again.

Cheryl huffed slightly. "But I don't want him to go!"

He sank back into his chair, not daring to believe his luck as his mother let go of Lillian, turning to send a stern look to Cheryl. "Hush, Cheryl. They will only be gone for a season." His mother said briskly, grabbing her cutlery to once again pick at her roast. "They'll be back before you know it, planning a wedding, won't you!"

Lillian looked like she wanted to dive across the table and throttle him as he raised his half-empty glass, a feeling of joy spreading through him rapidly. "To Marriage." He chuckled.

As the others raised their glasses to repeat his toast he saw her expression switch rapidly to something her couldn't read. No longer did she look beautiful; she looked as deflated and as miserable as she had when he had found her mourning her father's letter- it was, as ever, like someone had let the air out of her. His eyes narrowed, trying to read hers as she hesitated to raise her glass. She couldn't possibly be this upset over losing an argument, over taking him to Mineral Town…

He felt his stomach squirm uncomfortably, remembering their conversation in the shadowy corner by the closet. No, it wasn't over the fact that he was coming with her. It was what he would have to do once he got there, what he had promised his mother he would do while there, and what it would mean she was facing when they came back…

He felt as if everything at the table had slowed down, his mind dizzyingly fast. She wanted him and only him; hadn't she always said that? And yet here he sat, promising his mother a courtship and marriage and goddamn children, not once thinking of what would happen when these promises had to be fulfilled, only thinking of his own opinion on the matter, never considering what would happen if Lillian could not be convinced…

Only one thing was true; as certain as he was unwillingly tied to the ranch, Lillian was now, vow or not, unwillingly tied to him.

Lillian spoke a little hoarsely, looking terrified. "To marriage."

Again, not happy. But life goes on. Review and tell me things that will make me feel better, please :)