The closer I get to finishing this, the sadder I get.
After a few days silence, Lillian appeared beside his fence.
He didn't run out to meet her like he would have done before. Nor could he place the gnawing feeling in his stomach- instead, he wiped his muddy work gloves on his trouser legs and watched warily as she approached.
"Hi." She said slightly breathlessly. It was warm enough for them both to be out without a jacket, the ends of Lillian's hair being picked up by the beginning of a spring breeze.
He couldn't stop himself from smiling at her, despite the fact that there was a renewed sense of awkwardness between them. "Finally decided to come visit?" He had been wrong to tease- the comment sent them both blushing awkwardly. "Sorry." He said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I just... It's been a few days. What's up?"
She hesitated slightly, glancing towards his house. "I wanted to talk about something. Before we leave, actually-"
Over her shoulder he could see his mother watching from the kitchen window; he supposed now that they were courting- at least, in some sense- there wasn't much harm in insisting on a little privacy. Reaching around her, he placed one hand on the small of her back and the other on the lock of the empty barn, swinging the door open. "Come inside. I've been fixing the barn roof, I need to check if the leak is still hitting the floor."
It was dank and dark once he shut the door on them, but before he could move to steer them towards the light of the glass pane window she had reached for him, her fingers winding around his collar and pulling his lips down to hers. He allowed himself a moment to be shocked before he let his eyes fall closed, her hips pressing against his and gently knocking them back against the wood of the barn door.
She pulled back with a hiss of breath, her eyes finding his as she smiled, his head already ducking to find hers as she spoke. "Laney came to see me yesterday." She muttered against his lips.
He pulled back with a loud smacking noise, jerking his head up so quickly that he sent his hat jostling. "Laney came to see you yesterday." He repeated, wishing she would take a few steps back so he could see her face better. He inhaled deeply, the back of his skull pressing against the wooden wall as he closed his eyes, feeling the worst was coming. "Now what did she say to you?"
He had been expecting an awkward pause and a story that would no doubt get him in trouble and was surprised when he felt her thumb dragging across his cheek, her delicate fingers pressing his jaw up to meet hers. She kissed him like his lips were made of glass, pulling back far enough to smirk slightly. "A lot." She whispered, kissing him again. "She made it sound like I'm denying her a very happy future. But then she also told me how lucky I am to have you."
He opened his eyes as she kissed his cheek, her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him upright. "Lucky to have me?" He repeated.
The words firing off her lips sent a ripple of anger through his stomach. So this is what had been bothering him- the thinly veiled knowledge that he was hers, belonged to her, served her… Well it wasn't wrong. He did. She was his life now, they were in love- but what was he to her? Just another man to fill the void until someone better came along? Someone to pass the lonely nights with… Look at how easily she had found Kana before… Well, he had proven he felt otherwise. But really, what had she done… He was the one who chose her. He was the one who was leaving town. He was the one who had to look his first love in the face and reject her. He was the one who had proven time and time again he wasn't leaving, wouldn't abandon her…
They were still standing in partial darkness, his scowl hidden in shadows but he could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke, her hands musing his hair as she pulled back into the light leaking through the window. "That's what she said. And it's true." She brushed her hair over her shoulder, cheeks beginning to burst into pink. With a glance at the ceiling, she chuckled. "Is this where the leak was? I don't-"
Somewhere inside him, he felt a bubble of insecurity pop, sending a flood of anger through his veins. "Lucky to have me." He repeated again, stepping forward as the crooked smile fell from her cheeks, the light falling across his face and onto his scowl.
"I-yes." She looked slightly afraid of him, and at once he knew he was voicing her fears- she wanted him desperately but she was afraid to give herself back, to tether herself to someone. She inhaled deeply and seemed to set her mind to something, reaching to loop her fingers through his. "I know, I'm sorry. You are mine and-" She hesitated but rushed onward, her cheeks igniting in an angry red as his frown deepened. "I'm yours, Ash."
He gripped her back as tightly as his fingers would allow it, watching her face as relief found its way through him. He wanted desperately to speak, words stumbling through his lips. "Lillian-"
She shook her head, her hair falling off her shoulder and cascading down her back as she released him, walking a few paces before she paused by a hay bale, the toe of her boot prodding the feed. "You know I'm not good at this kind of thing… It helps, sometimes, to take a step back and…" She exhaled again, the fists balled at her sides suddenly releasing. "I love you, Ash. I'm sorry I don't say it more." She sounded strangely choked. "I love you and… I want you so much sometimes, I can hardly breathe." She swallowed thickly, turning to him with her eyes fixed on her feet. "You're mine and I'm yours, for as long as you want me. Will… Will you have me?"
He tipped his hat off his head and bunched it in his fist, watching her wait for his response. He had half a mind to keep her waiting, the amount of frustration and agony she put him through… At last he found his words. "You're insane, Lillian, and you're driving me to that point too." He paused, chuckling at the look on her face. "Yes." The hat slipped through his fingers and fell to the still wet floor of the barn. "Yes. I'll have you."
This time he came to her; rushing forward to meet her he grabbed her chin in his hands, sending her momentarily backwards before he caught her, his lips hard and wanting against her as he pulled her upright. She moaned slightly as she collided against his chest, her hands raking through his hair.
Wedging a knee between hers he spread her thighs, pulling back to look her dead in the eye, his hands dropping to pin her waist against him. "You're mine, Lillian." He hissed against her mouth, resuming their heated exchange of kisses. "Only mine. And I'm only yours."
She was on him once more, her lips assaulting his as she began to undress him, her hands clawing at his chest through the thin material of his shirt as she ripped off his suspenders. Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard a button fly off of its usual place as his shirt collapsed into a sudden heap on the floor, his mind much to absorbed in Lillian to give it a second thought. The smell of Lillian's hair as he ran his hands through it- her teeth catching his lower lip- the feeling of her nipples through her shirt as he grabbed at her breasts, her shirt being thrown over her head and her lacy bra following shortly after…
She let out a groan as he pulled back, her fingers struggling to pop the button on her pants as he reach to undo his belt. He was naked in front of her, kicking his shoes and trousers off his feet before she had even gotten her pants off her hips; taking pity on her, he bent to attend to her boot laces.
"Ash…" She moaned as he finished the laces, her feet clumsily kicking out of her shoes as he ran his tongue across her thigh. Her hands were in his hair once more, guiding him to the naked mound he had just exposed. "….Ash." She groaned again, her thighs beginning to quiver as he placed a chaste kiss against her lips, his tongue dragging against her slit and being greeted by her wetness for him.
He rose to his feet again, his hand still pressing between her legs, his index finger dipping inside her. "You're mine, Lillian. I want to make you feel things no other man will. I want us both to-" He lost his train of thought as she moaned, her teeth sinking into his shoulder as he teased her clit, his cock standing hard between them. "I want to possess you. And I want you to possess me."
He dipped another finger inside her, feeling her walls as they slicked and began to convulse around him. All at once she groaned, her hips beginning to thrash against him as he held her steady, his thumb teasing her as she tossed her head back. She locked eyes with him as he drove her to climax, her whole body trembling as she struggled to remain upright in his arms. "Okay." She breathed, her eyes half-lidded. "Okay."
She squealed as wrapped his arms beneath her hips, her legs swinging around to grip his waist as he lowered them both onto the hay bale, the act causing him to sheath her in one fluid motion. They both gasped all at once, her hips moving to settle him on a fixed point inside her, a low groan sounding in the back of her throat.
He kept his grip tight about her waist, guiding her as they began to rock against each other; like two waves they crashed backwards and forwards, their flesh slicked with sweat and Lillian's wetness. He struck a sensitive spot and she let out another moan, her breath beginning to turn raspy as he took a nipple into his mouth, his teeth gently brushing against her.
"You are mine." He whispered repeatedly against her breasts, his hands slowing her as she began to pummel down against him- no doubt, she was close once more. He allowed his hands to probe around her body, cupping her breasts, tracing her bones, the swell of her hips, until he came to the place they were joined, his fingers teasing her. She let out a moan, her face turning towards his neck, her tongue sliding along his veins and begging for mercy. "And I am yours. And I plan on making you never forget the effect you have on me, and the one I have on you…"
"Ash- Ash please…" She whispered hoarsely against his feverish skin, her hips instinctually fighting his grip to pick up speed.
He allowed her a few deep stokes before he slowed her again. "Not yet." He said soothingly, sweat beginning to form on his forehead as he fought for control, his cock throbbing with want inside her. He pressed his hands firmly against her hips, forcing himself deep inside her depths, a gasp escaping both their mouths.
There was no helping it; Lillian was too far gone and besides, she was never one for waiting- She began to quiver and moan against him, her folds beginning to spasm and gush around him. Taking pity on her he dragged his thumb in circles around their joining point, his arm holding her steady as she tossed her head back, a low and raspy moan coming from her lips. When she finished she shook in his arms, her breasts pressing firmly against him as she struggled to remain in control of herself.
He had nearly lost himself as she came, sweat now running down his neck as he gently laid her on her back, trying to soothe her through her orgasm. Pressing his palm against her cheek, her leant down to kiss her.
She moaned as he began to move slowly inside her, her hips rising traitorously up to meet him with each slow stroke of his hips. "Please, no more teasing…" She moaned into his ear, her fingers knotting through his hair and jerking his gaze up to hers.
He kissed her has his hips began to move at a much more demanding pace, each stroke into her womb firing stars in front of his eyes. He pressed his face into her neck, kissing and biting every inch of her flesh, his palm gripping her breast. She cried out once more, and as he moved to silence her with a kiss he felt the familiar burst of orgasm; groaning as he pulled himself out of her womb, he spent himself beside her.
It was some time before they both stopped shaking, their sides glued together with sweat as they lay on the bed of hay. All at once she turned to him, her breasts beginning to pucker as they cooled in the air of the barn.
"Do you remember, back in the summer, when you tried to kiss me in here?"
He felt himself go rather red around the neck. "Yeah."
She grinned crookedly at him, the smile sending a swoop through his stomach that reminded him all too much of the first time he met her.
"I'm glad we waited to do this instead."
I will be updating soon. Please, read and review!