I hope this two chapter update will make up for neglecting this story while I was finishing Gotcha and working on After The Night. Everything, and everyone, familiar belongs to Janet.

Chapter 9

Ranger pushed open Pino's scarred oak door for me. When I walked into the dimly lit restaurant, I glanced around the place and saw that there was a couple of off duty cops at the bar, and a few parents waiting for takeout at the register. It was late enough for most of the families with small children to have already left, and it was too early for hospital employees to get off work. We had the place mostly to ourselves. I also noticed the four tables pushed together in close proximity to the bar. It seemed that everyone had beat us here except for Bobby and Ram.

"Wow," I said to Bobby."It looks like the control room has been transplanted here."

"There were a lot of shift switches with the new hires," Bobby told me."All the guys who have been around long enough to wonder if this engagement was ever gonna happen wanted to be here to commemorate it."

I'm glad I went with waterproof mascara just in case.

"I told Lester to save us seats," Bobby said, nodding across the room at Lester.

I saw Tank and Lester sitting at one of the tables with three empty seats around them. I guess Ram was out of luck.

Ranger's hand rested on the small of my back as we crossed the room to get to Tank and Lester's table. And just as I thought, the majority of guys were in Rangeman black. I'd be able to tell who was stuck working the night shift just by where the beer bottles are placed. Ranger didn't allow his men to get drunk if he could stop it, and not even a beer with food is permitted if the men were on duty or going to be soon.

"We're in luck," I said to Ranger."We get to sit at the captain's table."

"Luck had nothing to do with it," Ranger said."You're the guest of honor."

"I thought we're both the guests of honor?"

"They wouldn't have done this for anyone but you, Babe."

"He's right," Lester said, as we approached the table."Ranger's not as nice to look at."

I cut my eyes to Ranger, and had to disagree. He chose to wear a dress shirt open at the collar with the sleeves rolled up instead of his Rangeman T-shirt. He looked and smelled more appetizing than the food being prepared in the kitchen.

"Are you planning on joining us?" Tank asked."Or are you going to just stand there and flood the place with drool?"

"You can't blame me. I told you Pino's makes the best pizza."

"The food wasn't what you were lusting after," Ramon said to me.

Damn. You can't get away with anything around these guys.

Ranger pulled my chair out for me and then bent close to my ear.

"I don't mind, Babe. Feel free to lust all you want."

I guess to take up less room in the place, the guys added chairs to the ends of the their tables. Hal, Cal, Junior, and now Ram were at one table. Woody, Ramon, Vince, Caesar, and Zero at another. The last table had Binkie, Hector, Slick, Zip, and Brett sitting together. And our table was sandwiched between them. Hector has steadily been learning more english, but his accent was so heavy that some days I still thought I needed a translator. And most of the time I had to prod Brett and Zip into speaking at all. I did notice that among all the men that are here, Rodriguez wasn't one of them. He was probably sitting at home already thinking up ways of making tomorrow hell for me.

We ordered beer, a ton of pizza, and multiple sides of fries, onion rings, and mozzarella sticks. I could feel the drool coming back. Bobby handed me a wrapped box while we were waiting for the food.

"Here, Steph. We thought we should get you something special for tonight, or cheesy depending on how you look at it. We can't top the ring Ranger gave you, but we thought this summed up how we all see you."

"Do I really want to open this?" I said.

"It's nothing bad, Steph," Ram said."I promise."

The restaurant was mostly quiet so we were able to talk back and forth across the tables without having to shout ... much. With these guys, there's a distinct possibility that at some point I'll miss the usual noise. I took off the bow and carefully peeled back the paper. When I removed the cover, there was a black T-shirt folded with the words 'First Lady Of Rangeman' on the left hand side normally where 'Rangeman' and my name would be embroidered. I took it out of the box and held it up to show Ranger. It was the stretchy girl-cut T-shirt I usually wear and everything.

"Thanks, guys," I said, my voice already sounding a little nasally. I wasn't going to cry, I wasn't going to cry, I repeated in my mind as I met Ranger's eyes. He gave me a smile, and squeezed my thigh under the table.

"Lester knows a girl ..." Bobby said.

I laughed as I put the shirt back inside the box."What girl doesn't Lester know?" I asked.

"Woman," Lester said."I know a woman. I've heard all about your Burg gossip shit, and I don't want to be known as the pervert who likes little girls."

"Good point," I told him. Even the menus have ears in this place.

"Anyway, the woman Lester knows does those touristy T-shirts at the shore, and he managed to convince her to make this one for you on short notice."

"Santos is also trying to bribe Ella into making them part of your Rangeman uniform," Tank said.

"I don't have to bribe her," Lester said to us."Ella thinks the idea is 'cute'. She would have come tonight, but she didn't want to leave the poor bastards who couldn't be here without food. The potential for a riot would have been huge."

I didn't have a chance to add my own thoughts on the subject because Tank distracted me by handing over another box. This one was small, and looked inconsequential in his massive hand, but I soon found out it was the exact opposite.

"What's this?" I asked him."You guys weren't supposed to get me anything. And what about Ranger? You shouldn't be giving me stuff and not him."

"This is a different type of present," Tank told me, his voice serious."And this could be considered a gift for Ranger as well. At least, for his peace of mind."

This box wasn't wrapped, so all I had to do was lift the top of it. It doesn't sound that hard to do, but my fingers were shaking slightly. There was a small phone/address book inside. I put the box on the table and picked up the book, thumbing through the pages. I noticed that some of the guys' names were written in it.

"What is this?" I asked again, looking at Tank.

"This book contains contact information for all the people associated with Rangeman," Tank said."Their Rangeman cell phones, private cells, landlines, fax numbers, and addresses. Everything you need in order to get in touch with us if you find yourself in a dangerous situation and can't reach Ranger."

The laughing, talking, and drinking had all stopped when Tank handed me the box. Every set of Rangeman eyes were on me. They didn't have to tell me how significant this is. Ranger's men were almost as private as Ranger is himself. The only facts I know about them is what they have shared with me after we started to get to know each other. To have been given a key to their privacy was no small gesture. And I didn't take it as one. A single tear splashed onto the leather cover of the book.

Ranger put his arm around me, lending his support once again.

"If for any reason Ranger isn't able to get to you if you have a problem, I want you to call me, or one of the men in that book," Tank continued.

"We can't imagine Ranger not being where you need him," Lester said,"but we want to know that you'll call us if you find yourself looking for backup."

I wiped my eyes and smiled at them."You don't know how much this means to me, guys," I told them.

"Just make sure you memorize what's inside or keep it somewhere no one will find it," Tank told me."This is not information we want to get out."

"Don't worry, I'll protect it with my life," I promised them. And I wasn't really exaggerating, either.

"Babe, that's the opposite of what it was given to you for," Ranger said.

"I was only saying that I can't put into words just how much I appreciate this."

"This is our way of showing you that none of us consider watching out for you part of the job, Steph," Hal said, with a round of agrees from everyone else.

"We don't want anything happening to you," Vince added.

"And what good is all this training we have if we can't use it to keep a person we all care about safe?" Ram said.

"Yeah, I was even going to give you my mama's number, since she always manages to find me," Woody said,"but Tank told me that was overkill."

Ranger and Lester must have realized that I had reached my emotional limit, because Ranger pocketed the book for me, and Lester broke the suddenly intense atmosphere.

"I knew that book was going to take the attention off of my gift," Lester told me."That's why I insisted I go first. That way you could fully appreciate all the thought, and work, that went into creating it."

I could always count on Lester to shift the focus away from me. I have a feeling that his office clown act is just that, an act. One that he's perfected, and has made into a very useful tool.

"I'm sure it was a lot of work for you," I told him."What did you have to do? Flirt for five minutes on the phone, or did you bat your eyelashes at the unsuspecting woman in the flesh?"

All the guys laughed. Even Lester.

"If I had showed up in the flesh," he said,"my eyelashes wouldn't be what she was looking at."

Lester is a good example of what made Ranger unique. He was even better looking than Lester - though no matter how many times I've told Lester that, he still doesn't believe me - but Ranger didn't flaunt it, brag, or expect something because of it. Well, he didn't with anyone else. I'm a special case. Ranger had no problem using whatever he could to get closer to me.

"And if you called her," I said,"she could have just hung up on you and saved herself some time."

"You wound me, Steph. We both know that if Ranger hadn't found you first, you would have been putty in my hands."

I turned to Ranger."This is new," I said to him.

"That Santos is seconds away from a beatdown, Babe? Nothing new about that."

"No. That beer suddenly causes delusions in people. Bobby, take it away from him."

"Deny it all you want, Steph," Lester said,"but we both know the truth."

"And the truth is that you've gone from delusional to insane now?"

"Nope. It's that you can't have me, so you lowered your standards and agreed to marry Ranger."

I made the mistake of reaching for my own beer and taking a sip while Lester was speaking. The beer went halfway down my throat and up my nose at the same time. Ranger a lowered standard? Not freakin' likely.

"It looks like you've been feeling neglected, Santos," Ranger said to him."Why don't we spent some quality time together in the gym tomorrow morning."

"Oh shit. Here," he said to Bobby, pushing his beer towards him,"maybe you should take this away from me before I get myself strapped to a plane headed to a country I can't pronounce. I'm already on my second strike."

"I was smart enough to stop at one comment," Bobby said,"but you still can't figure out when to stop saying shit, can you?"

Ranger had been right. My nieces were easier to babysit. I put my gift boxes by my feet, scooted my chair a little closer to Ranger, and started in on the pizza that had just been put in front of us.

I wasn't really shocked to see Joyce Barnhardt stroll into Pino's not long after. Ranger has the Bat Signal, and Joyce gets a Whore's Heads Up. It's uncanny how Joyce always seems to materialize when I'm having an especially good day and then does her best to sabotage it. What did surprise me is what I saw when I looked around at the guys to see their reaction to her. The only thing visible on their faces was disgust, and outright hatred from the men I had told about the part she played in ending my marriage. As much as I hated Joyce, I couldn't help but admit that all the botox, silicone, and hairspray did add up to an attractive package, if you like the blow up doll look, but my guys weren't turning into a mess of hormones at the sight of her obviously well-used cleavage display.

I leaned close to Ranger."You need to give them all raises," I whispered to him.

I knew I didn't have to fill Ranger in on my thought process, because he usually knew what my brain was thinking before I did.

"Give them some credit, Babe. Not all men are interested in women like Joyce."

I guess that was true, because Ranger has always been interested in me, and the only thing I've injected into my body is junk food.

"He's right, Steph," Lester said."Not all of us go for Porn Chic."

My eyebrows went up."You not interested in Porn Chic? I thought that was your major in college."

"Okay, so I would be normally," he said,"but after what she's done to you, no trick, costume, or inflatable boob would get me to do her."

"Yeah, Steph," Vince said."Her sleeping with your husband at the time wasn't cool."

Growing up, if I hadn't been comparing myself to Valerie, I was going head to head with Joyce, and always coming up short. But the tide had turned, and now she's the one lacking. Her latest walking wallet had dumped her, and she hasn't been able to find his replacement yet. Which is what brought her out while the sun is still up. The guys didn't make the amount of money she would need to keep her doctor visits up to date, but they all were nice to look at, and she probably figured she'd have something fun to play with until she found her next victim.

"I'm glad to hear that," I told them."I was just about to warn all of you that if you look too long in her direction, your balls will fall off."

"We wouldn't do that to you, Steph," Bobby said,"even if the round of antibiotics was taken out of the equation. But I'm pretty sure balls can't fall off that easily. Though I wouldn't want to chance it."

"It's true," I said to them."Everyone knows that when Joyce gets her hooks into a man, his balls are the first thing to go."

Ranger smiled, and Tank, Lester, and Bobby shook their heads at me. Hal must have taken me seriously, because he was keeping his eyes on the dining area furthest from where Joyce was desperately trying to show off her wares.

After another five minutes of not causing the guys to stampede, Joyce decided she'd had enough and followed her breasts to our table. I recognized the look on her face, and I knew that she was out for blood for being ignored. I was actually looking forward to it. I didn't want her skanky mitts, or anything else, coming anywhere near my Rangeman guys.

"Well if it isn't little 'ol Stephanie Plum," Joyce said, stepping closer to Lester and Bobby."Looks like you were finally able to convince someone to take you out for a change."

"Even the most health conscious person has to risk getting rabies and come back to the Burg once in awhile, Joyce," I said to her."I thought we'd be safe for another couple of hours, though. Did one of your 'friends' chew through your restraints and escape again?"

"Aren't you a little old to still be jealous of me?" She asked."Not that you don't have plenty of reasons to be."

"Why on earth would I be jealous of you?" I asked her, smiling."I'm happy. I have a great life full of people who are glad that I exist, and half of me isn't stuffed with something constructed inside a back alley lab somewhere. I know I don't have my own STD named after me, but we can't all be you."

"No, you can't," she said, smiling at Ranger."She's kidding about the STD, I'm clean. Though I can be very dirty if the right man came along."

The thought of Joyce going after one of my guys was bad, but her flirting with my fiance in front of me was just asking for it.

"You've got your eye on the wrong man then," Ranger said, moving his hand back to my leg."When you already have the best, you don't need, want, or desire, anything else. Dirty or otherwise."

I leaned over and kissed his cheek. Ranger wasn't just saying that for Joyce's benefit.

"What kind of person sleeps with another woman's husband anyway?" Lester asked her."Isn't there some type of chick code that you're not supposed to break? I could maybe understand it if Dickhole looked like me, but that Orr guy seems like he's two years away from retiring and moving to Boca Raton."

I didn't think Dickie was unattractive exactly, but compared to Ranger and these men, Dickie ranked way below average on every scale. The only thing I will ever like about Joyce is that she made me see that I needed out of that marriage.

"Hey, I did Stephanie a favor," she said.

"And yet I still haven't gotten around to sending you a thanks for sleeping with my husband card," I told her."Why do you think that is?"

"I suppose if trying to appear sexy isn't going to do it, you have to fall back on sarcasm to try to get some attention."

"And here I was thinking that you were too dumb to pick up on sarcasm," I said.

"What the hell do all of these men see in you?" She asked me."Morelli was treating you like a stupid little porcelain doll, you got Ranger feeling sorry enough about breaking up your relationship with Joe to offer to marry you, and these muscle-heads are always rushing to your side every time you stub a toe. Looks like helpless and pathetic are finally working in your favor."

"Say whatever you want, Joyce," I told her,"I don't care. You don't know anything about me or my life. And just knowing that you're stuck having to live with yourself, since no one else wants to, is revenge enough for me. But keep in mind that if you mess with Ranger, or one of these guys, I will fuck you up."

"You tell her, Steph," Tank said.

"That's all you got? And I was just starting to have fun," Joyce said,"but you could never hold your own against me. I do believe that's exactly what Dickie said, too."

My blood pressure went into kill zone, but I wasn't letting her see that she hit a nerve. And why should it? I think Joyce is a moral-less tramp, and Dickie a pompous douchebag. Their opinion shouldn't matter to me either way, but damn it if I didn't hate the fact that Dickie screwed my arch enemy. Out of all the women he cheated on me with, he couldn't have kept his dick away from Joyce? I hated that she used the fact that she boinked my husband as her go-to taunt every time she felt like she was losing ground in one of our constant insult battles.

I could tell that Ranger was about to say something, and the guys closest to me and Joyce had snapped to attention, but I didn't want this to turn uglier than it already had. I had to put a stop to it before they got involved.

"I know it's hard for you to accept that not every man is going to offer himself up for you to abuse, with a please and thank you, but no one here likes or respects you, Joyce," I told her,"so you might as well cut your losses and go on home and give your left leg a chance to get reacquainted with your right one. God knows they haven't been together since you hit puberty."

"Oohh, good one, Steph," Lester said, clapping me on the shoulder.

"You're one to talk," Joyce said to me."Giving these guys something besides pizza these days?"

Ranger went still, and the guys in question went from unfriendly to flat out scary.

Ranger made a move towards her, but Tank stopped him.

"I got this," Tank said."I know what to do with garbage like her."

He stood, lifted Joyce by her upper arms, and dumped her outside Pino's front door. Tank came back in and sat down like nothing had happened.

"You're going to need one of those steel wool dish scrubbers to get the residual skeeze off your hands," I told him.

"I have alcohol wipes in the first aid kit in the truck," Tank told me."I'll be fine."

After Joyce's quick departure, the guys decided to spend the rest of the evening reliving what they considered my highlights since meeting them. Hal went immediately to my stun-gun escape, followed by the monkey-filled car Ranger made him drive to the Pine Barrens.

"Remember the time Tank got shot outside your apartment?" Lester said.

I saw Zip flinch from where I was sitting and I glared at Lester. Zip was the reason Ranger got involved in the Dickie/Petiak case. And that was also around the time Zip found out his brother Ziggy had been murdered because of it. Not a topic for casual dinner conversation.

Bobby changed the subject quickly."How about when Brett got beaver-bombed when he spent the day with Steph?"

Brett turned red and Hal turned white. Hal didn't like blood. And it turns out he didn't like blown up beaver bits even more. And I didn't help that when I turned Brett over to him to get cleaned up.

Woody punched Hal in the arm."Who knew Hal was so sensitive? He was throwing up for a good ten minutes after that."

"Eww. Guys ..." I told them.

"Sorry, Steph," they said in unison.

"I remember going with Caesar to my first security consult," I said to the group.

"And you did good," Caesar said."I was impressed."

"Nothing bad happened, and I also didn't get dirty."

"Didn't you blow up a building not long after?" Tank asked.

"Shut up, Tank," I told him.

"I remember delivering a replacement vehicle to Ranger," Woody said,"and saw you standing with him. You had lettuce in your hair and you smelled like pickles."

"Oh, yeah," I said."When that moron carjacked Ranger's Porsche."

"He took you, too," Tank said."I had a good time with that guy."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"How about when you and Ranger fell down a flight of stairs at Rangeman?" Ram said to us.

"I didn't fall," Ranger said."I was tackled."

"It was an accident," I said to everyone."And no one was supposed to know about that."

"Ram's ass didn't make it fully into the control room before we heard all about where you landed," Junior said to me."Or who you landed on."

"I take it back," I said to Ranger,"they should all be fired instead of getting raises."

"Hey, Binkie," Cal said."What about the time you and Steph got lost in the cemetery?"

"It was dark," Binkie said to us."And it was freakin' spooky. I bet you guys would have gotten lost, too."

"Is that when Lula fell into that open grave?" Zero asked.

"Yes. And do you guys talk about anything else besides me?" I asked them."You're worse than my family. With all the missions you've been on, FTAs you've chased, and Rangeman clients you've had to deal with, I'd think you'd have better things to discuss."

"They don't mean it in disrespect, Babe," Ranger said to me."These men don't see you as incapable of doing your job. This is about initiating you into the group. You'll no doubt be hearing all about the stupid things these idiots have done themselves over the years."

"To us, this type of shit is what gets us through the day," Tank said."In the service, it's even considered a way of bonding with the people who are likely going to have to save your ass every other day. But even you have to admit, that shooting the shit out a security remote is funny as hell."

"Hector thought so," I said, smiling at Hector."He learned a lot of new words that day."

"Bang," Hector said, with a straight face.

"Very funny. You know more english than I do. And what about you?" I asked Ranger."You have a lot more times to choose from than these guys."

"I have to go back to the day Connie called me to meet you," he told me."You were complaining about your car being a piece of shit, and that your shoes hurt your feet, getting more and more pissed off the longer you talked to me. Loudly telling me that you were going to catch Morelli whether I helped you or not."

"Damn, Steph," Lester said."You took on the boss right after meeting him? That took balls."

"I was afraid to sayanythingaround him for a good six months," Bobby said.

"No wonder you got under his skin," Tank added."Everyone is usually scared to death of him. And for good reason."

"I was in a bad mood that day," I said to them."And he wasn't being at all helpful."

"I was testing you to see how serious you were about going after Morelli," Ranger explained."Skip chasing isn't a job for someone who doesn't see the danger in it."

"I did bring Joe in. And I did it in the most unpleasant way possible."

"And that's the potential bounty hunter I saw, and why I agreed to help you after that." He smiled at me, and I braced myself."The first time I broke into your apartment is also extremely noteworthy."

I glared at him for bringing up the time Morelli had handcuffed me to the shower curtain rod. That was the only time in the past that I hadn't been self-conscious about being butt-naked in front of someone. I was so miserable waiting for Ranger to show up and uncuff me that I didn't care that he got an unadulterated view of everything when he was still mostly a stranger to me.

"What made you break into her apartment?" Lester asked.

"Yeah. Speak up," Ramon said."This sounds like a good story."

"No." Ranger said, in a way that immediately ended the questions.

"Well ... there was the time Ranger sent me to unlock an apartment for Stephanie," Slick said,"and a guy was found dead inside of it. Bullet to the head if I remember correctly."

"At least I wasn't the shooter. Seriously? You guys can't focus on any of the good things?" I asked."Like me finding out who was stealing Rangeman codes, or when I helped keep Ranger safe from Brenda."

"Thank you for that, Babe," Ranger said."I'd rather spend three weeks in the desert with no food, than do a job like that again."

"Rest assured, if anyone tries to grope you now that we're together, she'll be pulling back bloody nubs."

"See, that's exactly why we like you, Steph," Bones said."You're a fighter."

"You're also one hell of a lover, Babe," Ranger said, his lips brushing my ear, making me turn the same shade of red as Brett did earlier.

I looked away from his hundred-watt smile before I smacked him, or straddled him. The guys would like either option a little too much, so I kept my eyes on the front door while I counted to ten to cool myself off.

Unfortunately, that made it extremely difficult to avoid acknowledging Carl Costanza who was walking in. Damn. First Joyce and now Carl. Maybe I should have picked Shorty's. I did say that I wanted to combine my two lives, I was just hoping they wouldn't have been forced into a head-on collision like they have tonight.

And of course Carl being Carl couldn't resist stopping by our table before he picked up his dinner.

"I'd ask if Pino's is under attack, but if it was I'm assuming that you all wouldn't be sitting around eating pizza. What's going on?"

"We're celebrating," I told him.

"Celebrating what?"

I rolled my eyes. And this is one of Trenton's finest? No wonder he's never shown interest in becoming a detective.

"Our engagement."

"Why would anyone want to celebrate that?"

He isn't the one lucky enough to be marrying Ranger, so I understood why he said that.

"Trouble in paradise?" I asked Carl."I thought you and Marion were doing good."

He snorted."So did I. But once I let it slip that I thought our relationship was getting serious, she told me that she didn't want to be tied down right now and dumped me."

"Have you talked to Big Dog about this?"

"No. He's been seeing someone, and he seems happy with her so I didn't want to crap all over it."

Someone was going to do the crapping, but it wouldn't be me tonight. Tomorrow was a possibility, though.

"It might not seem like it, but I do care about what happens to you, Steph," Carl said."And if Manoso's who you want to put up with, then I'm behind you one hundred percent."

"Let me guess, you're being nice to me because you're afraid to get your ass handed to you if you aren't?"

"Yep, that's the reason, Steph." He turned to Ranger and held out his hand."Congrats, man. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into with this one."

Then the strangest thing happened, my elbow connected with Carl's ribcage. Hard. I wasn't going to break his heart by spilling the beans about Big Dog and Marion, but I didn't mind damaging any of his other parts in my vicinity.

Lucky for him, someone at the counter called out that his order was up.

"I'm outta here," he said to me."See you at the next car fire or shootout."

"Bite me, Carl."

"Just tell me where and when," Carl said.

"Your turn," I told Ranger.

With his eyes not leaving Carl, Ranger started to stand.

All the color drained from Carl's face, and he took a stumbling step backwards. Ranger is the only man in Trenton, probably the only man in the country, who could beat the tar out of a cop, in a cop hangout, and not end up behind bars. And Carl knew it.

"Sorry, Steph," he said, quickly."It won't happen again."

He paid for his dinner and snatched up the bag all in one move before hightailing it out of the building.

"Wow," I told Ranger,"that's impressive."

"It's all in the attitude, Babe," he told me.

He did have the attitude, but the fifty pounds of extra muscle, guns conveniently placed on his person, and ties to every powerful figure along the eastern seaboard, didn't hurt any.

But none of those things helped when Grandma Mazur came bustling into Pino's. It was close to nine and she should have been all tucked in at my parents' house, not sneaking around the Burg. And I was betting that my mother had no idea that Grandma had gone missing.

Ranger followed my eyes."She snuck out again, didn't she?" He asked.

"Yup."

"Stephanie!" She said, coming over to us."You're having a party here in the Burg and you didn't invite me?"

Bobby got up and gave Grandma his seat.

"What a nice young man you are," Grandma said to him, while he got another chair and joined Hal's table."Handsome as the dickens, too."

"Cool. Edna's here," Lester said."You guys are gonna love her. She attracts more trouble than Stephanie."

"No," I said, calmly."I attract trouble. Grandma causes it."

"Someone has to," she said.

That wasn't a discussion I wanted to get into with Grandma Mazur, so I let the comment go.

"It's not really a party," I told her."We just decided to all go out for pizza."

"I like pizza, except I can't eat any this late or I'll get a case of heartburn so bad the devil himself would start cussing. But I could have come anyway. It would have beat the heck out of watching television with Frank."

"Does Mom know you're here?"

"Nope. But she knows you are," Grandma said."That's how I was able to get out. She was on the phone. Mabel Markowitz saw me and offered to give me a lift here." Grandma turned to Ranger."We missed you at the house. I was glad to hear about you two getting hitched, but it would've been better had you been there with Stephanie."

"That was my fault, Grandma," I said to her."Ranger wanted to come, but I thought Mom would take the news better from me."

"Who cares what she takes?" Grandma said."That was your announcement to make. You should have told her to stuff it if she didn't like it or, better yet, have Ranger tell her."

She was right. I didn't want my mother to offend Ranger in any way, or embarrass me, so I inadvertently let her control what I did. Shit. I was going to have to deal with her soon. Having my mother in my head wasn't going to help me improve my life. I know she's just biding her time until she starts in on the wedding preparations and I wasn't going to let her have a say in them. Only Ranger and I knew what we wanted for that day. Well, I didn't know yet, but I will eventually. And I knew without a doubt that it wasn't going to be what my mother would choose.

I sighed and Ranger looked over at me.

"What's wrong, Steph?"

"Another problem for another day. Not something I want to think about tonight," I told him, turning towards Grandma."Ranger and I will be over soon. Right?"

"Yes, Babe."

"What's a seven letter word for an engaged man that starts with a W?" Lester asked.

"I'm not whipped, Santos," Ranger said,"but you will be thoroughly tomorrow."

"Guess it wasn't the beer's fault after all," I said.

The next hour or so passed quickly. Pino had come over to ask how everything was, but he didn't attempt to kick us out so we ended up staying long after the food and beer were gone. And Grandma used the time to fill the guys in on the first thirty years of my life. I kept waiting for the Ranger stories to start, but aside from the ones that involved me, they weren't told.

Maybe I should've come alone, I thought to myself. I might have learned something new about Ranger, because the men sure weren't talking with him sitting here. I wonder if Ranger could show me how to train my family to do the same so they'd stop telling everyone my business. Grandma wasn't too bad, though. Most of her stories turned out to be ones I liked. Topping it was my jump off the garage roof when I was a kid, and how I dragged Dickie's ass over the coals during our divorce. I was too pissed at the time to take any shit from him, or his stupid lawyer.

I would have liked to have spent more time with Grandma and the guys, but I knew some of them still had a long night ahead of them.

"It's getting late, Grandma," I said, standing up."Ranger and I will give you a ride home. Hopefully Mom hasn't called the police yet."

"Can't one of these fine, upstanding young men do it?" She asked me."It's late. I might need a bodyguard to get home safely."

"Nice try, but you can't find a better bodyguard than Ranger," I told her."No offense, guys."

"None taken," Bobby said."Who do you think trained us?"

"But Ranger's off the market," Grandma said."I may still have a shot with one of them."

You had to love Grandma. Optimistic until the very end.

"It's okay, Steph," Lester said."We're leaving in a couple of minutes, and we'll see that she gets home okay."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's fine."

"All right, but don't let her talk you into stopping anywhere on the way home. I hate the thought of my grandmother behind bars more than me."

Grandma winked at Bobby."She's always been a worrier. Gets it from her mother. Probably the only thing she got from her."

"And now I'm ready to leave," I told Ranger, hiking my bag onto my shoulder and picking up my presents.

Although it was true, I didn't like to cop to anything I might have inherited from my mother except for her metabolism. And boy was I ever thankful for that after all the food I've put away tonight.

"Thanks everyone," I said to the tables of men."I had a great time. We have to do this again soon, but maybe we should try Shorty's or Marsilio's."

I got a combination of you-got-its, a few nods, and a couple smiles, so I guess dinner number two is a go.

Ranger slid his arm around my waist as we walked back to his Turbo, bypassing the register since Bobby, Lester, and Tank told us three separate times that we weren't allowed to pay for anything tonight.

Ranger beeped the car unlocked, and I buckled myself into the passenger's seat. Ranger got behind the wheel and plugged the key into the ignition.

"You know, I really think this is going to work between us," I told him."Tonight showed just how well."

"Babe, I've known that we were going to work starting the night I drove you home and checked your apartment for bad guys."

And strangely enough ... so had I.