All familiar characters belong to Janet. The mistakes are mine.

Chapter 12

"Would you rather have pineapple-upside-down cake or birthday cake?" Lula asked me.

"Hmm ... that's a tough one," I said to her,"but I'd have to go with birthday cake. It has frosting flowers."

"That's a real good point you got there," Lula said."Not much beats frosting."

Connie had one skip for me to catch after I'd finished my workout with Hal this morning. I would have been lucky enough to spend the morning with Ranger instead of Hal, but he had to wake up even earlier this morning to get in his own gym time before he left with Tank. I wasn't willing to wake up at four just to torture myself so, for cardio day, Hal got stuck with me. I think Ranger thought Hal would be the better choice because he knew I wouldn't yell obscenities at Hal. Hal spooks easily.

After showering, I picked up Lula to go after Dusty Webber. A petty thief, recreational drug user, and periodic pain in my ass. Vinnie seems to bond Dusty out every six months or so. Dusty is rude, mouthy, and lets just say that hygiene isn't a priority for him some days. I was tempted to hand him over to one of the guys, but that would be sending mixed messages. I couldn't tell everyone one minute that I wanted to do my job better and then ask them to take care of it for me.

The good news is that I lucked out and caught Dusty's cousin in a bad mood and he was more than happy to rat out Dusty. Apparently Dusty also has a real bad habit of borrowing money without actually asking for it first, and his cousin Derek is the latest victim. Derek told me that Dusty was due back home sometime around ten after a night spent with a woman he picked up at a bar. Lula and I had already checked out the inside of Dusty's house and it had been empty. I figured it wasn't 'breaking in' if the door's unlocked. Okay, it was unlocked only after I jimmied it. Ranger had given me a few pointers on how to do it and I'd been excited to experiment on Dusty's door.

After Lula and I went inside, I realized we really should have stayed in the car. The house was disgusting. I don't think anyone has told Dusty that you're supposed to clean the place you live in once in awhile. Maybe that explained his nickname, but I think - Nasty, Funky, or Oh dear God, would have more accurately described him.

Now Lula and I were parked three houses away from the trashcan of a house Dusty claimed to be living in, watching the hideous bright blue building for signs of activity while playing a food version of 'Would You Rather?', trying to keep ourselves entertained as our asses fell asleep waiting for Dusty.

"Frosting makes everything better," I told her."Except maybe olives. Would you rather have Cluck-in-a-Bucket extra-crispy chicken or Pino's pizza?"

"Hey, that's not fair. Those are two different foods. How am I supposed to make an informed decision here?"

"I can pick food from the same restaurant if that will make it easier," I said to her.

"No. I can do this," Lula told me, and thought about it for a beat."Pizza does have all the food groups."

"Only if you get one with the works. They do put a few vegetables on it in between the meat and cheese."

"The sauce is made of tomatoes," Lula said."And tomatoes are a vegetable."

"No, they're a fruit."

At least that's what that skank Joyce told me. But she lies about everything, so tomatoes could very well be a vegetable.

"Well, them doctors are always sayin' you gotta eat fruits and vegetables," Lula said."So I'm covered whichever way you look at it. That's why I always get ketchup with my fries. A good food always cancels out a bad food."

"Only in your world," I told her.

"Yeah, in my world I make all the rules. And french fries are made of potatoes, and they are definitely a vegetable, so I'm making healthy choices right and left here."

I wondered briefly which would be worse, a world ruled by Lula or my mother? It would probably be the end of civilization either way.

"I think I'm gonna go with Pino's pizza," Lula decided finally."It's got more goin' on."

"That's what I would have picked, too."

I took one last look at Dusty's house before letting out a sigh.

"Okay, I'm done waiting for this idiot," I told Lula."I'm thirsty. And both sides of my ass are numb now."

"I bet Ranger could help get your ass circulatin' again," Lula said.

"He could, but he's not here."

I haven't seen him since he left the apartment after a quick shower at five-thirty this morning. This was going to be a long day.

"We'd best stop playin' this game," Lula told me."I'm startin' to get hungry. You want to go to Cluck-in-a-Bucket? You can get a soda and I can get my chicken."

"You just chose Pino's over Cluck-in-a-Bucket. Why would you suggest going there instead of Pino's?"

"I changed my mind. A woman is allowed to change her mind. It's one of the few rights we got. And I told you it was a hard choice."

"I'm starting to wonder if Dusty was supposed to be here or if Derek was just screwing with us," I said."And I'm not hanging around here any longer to find out. We can go to Cluck-in-a-Bucket and then head to Derek's house. I'm just irritated enough to arrest him, too."

"Can we do that?" Lula asked.

"Probably not, but I'm not above trying. I hate waiting."

"Yeah, you're not a very patient person."

"Like you are?" I asked her.

"Fuck yeah, I'm patient. You didn't see me shoot my way into that house while you were busy fumbling around with the lock, did you?"

"No. And I'm still learning. Ranger told me he'd give me a more in depth lesson this week."

"I bet he will. Speaking of Ranger, how about we talk about your dinner with him and your mother. I bet that went well," Lula said, as I started the car and drove out of Dusty's neighborhood.

"Actually, it did."

"You're shittin' me?"

"No. She started on me about the wedding,"

"I'm surprised she waited that long," Lula said to me."I thought your mother'd show up at the Rangeman gate as soon as she knew about you gettin' engaged."

"She did call the morning after I told her about us, but she doesn't have the same power over the phone."

"So how'd you shut her up in person?"

I smiled at the memory."I told her that Ranger and I would run away to Vegas if she tried to butt into our wedding."

Lula's head whipped around."You threatened your own mama?"

"Yep," I said."And I'd do it again."

"After all the sweaty superhero sex you've been participating in, I'm glad some of Ranger has rubbed off on you."

"I was just thinking last night that he has the patience of a saint. Maybe if we keep it up, that will rub off on me, too."

"I ain't seen no saint that looks like Ranger," Lula said to me.

"Have you seen many saints?" I asked, looking over at her.

"No. But if they had Ranger's face and body, I might have payed more attention to all that religion stuff."

And I might have gone to church more if I knew someone like Ranger was there.

I went to the drive-thru window and then pulled into the parking lot to eat.

"So where does this cousin live?" Lula asked, as she slurped up the rest of her extra-large soda.

"Ewing," I told her.

"You think Dusty's there?"

"Yeah."

After one final ice-jingling sip, she stuffed all our trash into the now empty chicken bucket.

"Let's go get Dusty's sneaky ass," she said.

"I know I'm ready," I told her."I'm not happy with either of them."

"Yep, they need to learn that it isn't smart to make two women like ourselves angry. I'm in the mood to kick some criminal behind."

"So am I."

I hate being lied to almost as much as I hate rolling around in garbage. I dumped our trash in the barrel near my car, and then pointed the Cayenne in the direction of Derek Webber's house.

I was driving down Main Street when something in the front window of a small boutique caught my eye.

"Oh my God," I said."That's it!"

"What's it?" Lula asked me.

"My dress," I said, pointing to the store window."That's my wedding dress."

"You can't just see a dress in a window and decide it's the one," she said."It doesn't work that way. You need to try on a bunch of shit first. And you have to have a group of us tellin' you what looks good and what makes you look like a weddin' cake."

I was too busy parking the Cayenne to argue with her."No, trust me on this, Lula. That is the dress I'm going to marry Ranger in," I said, opening my door.

"I thought you brides went nutty only when you started plannin' the weddin'. And just so you know," Lula said, making the little bell above the door ring as we walked into the store,"if you try to elope without me, I'm gonna fly myself to Vegas and whup your white ass. I'm seein' you marry your Man of Mystery. You got that?"

"Yes, Mom," I said to her.

I walked over to my dress with Lula hot on my heels, and I couldn't stop the warm feeling that spread through me at thinking of Ranger as my Man of Mystery. God, I was pathetic.

Lula narrowed her eyes at me."Don't you give me none of that mom shit. I ain't like your mama. I can't cook, I sure as hell don't iron, and I don't do any of that manipulation crap."

I rolled my eyes. Sure, she didn't. But Lula tended to go for outright bullying rather than manipulation.

"Umm, can I help you?" The saleswoman asked, looking uneasily at Lula.

"Yes," I told her."I want that dress." And I pointed to the window in front of us.

"That's a beautiful choice," she said."It just came in yesterday."

"Maybe you're onto somethin' with all that 'meant to be' talk," Lula said."What are the chances we'd be drivin' by the day they put it out?"

I didn't completely believe in luck or fate, but the timing of this is interesting.

"Would you like to try it on?" The woman asked me."This is the only one we have, but it looks like it's your size."

"If it isn't," I told her,"I'll eat nothing but lettuce for a month to get into it."

She laughed."I don't think that will be necessary. When are you getting married?"

"Hopefully in a few weeks."

"One way or another," Lula muttered under her breath.

"If this dress fits like I think it will," the saleswoman said to me,"you'll have one less thing to worry about. The dressing rooms are toward the back of the store. You can head on over while I take this down."

"Isn't that gonna leave an empty space in your window?" Lula asked the woman.

"We have a few mannikins in the storeroom to take its place."

"That's how you know this is a fancy place," Lula said, as we walked to the fitting rooms in between racks of clothes,"any other store would just leave a hole like a big 'ol missin' tooth right in front for everyone to see."

We looked at some of the clothes that were hanging on the rack closest to us, and I gasped when I saw the price tag for a tank top I liked. I was starting to worry about what my perfect dress would cost. I told myself it didn't matter. That was the dress I wanted, and I was going to get it somehow. And besides, if it didn't exactly fit, lettuce is cheap enough so I'd end up needing less money for food.

"Here we go," the woman said, walking over to us with the dress draped over her arm.

"Hurry up," Lula said to me."I gotta see what it looks like."

I took the dress from the woman and looked sideways at Lula."What if it does fit and I don't want anyone to see it until the day of the wedding?"

"You've seen me kick down a door, this one will be a piece of cake."

"Actually, I've seen you shoot at a door. You never did manage to kick one in."

The saleswoman's mouth dropped open.

"It's okay," Lula told her."We're bounty hunters."

"Technically, I'm a bounty hunter. You're a file clerk."

"I'm more than that and you know it."

"You can prove it to me when we go visit Webber's cousin."

"That mean I can do whatever I want this time?" She asked me.

"Not unless he makes me mad," I said to her.

"Today's lookin' up," Lula said."First you find your dream dress and now I might be able to put a cap up someone's ass."

I didn't know if I could call it my dream dress if I'd never dreamed of getting married. Let alone ... getting married twice.

I caught the woman's eyes."Just ignore Lula," I said to her."That's what everyone else does."

"Hunh," Lula said."I ought to be offended."

"But you're not, are you?"

"Nope. It takes a lot to offend me."

"You need to remember that not everyone knows that you're joking," I told Lula.

"Who says I'm jokin'?"

I rolled my eyes and then smiled at the saleswoman."See, that's why we ignore her."

The woman laughed, her nerves lessening considerably.

"Are you gonna try that on now?" Lula asked me.

"Yup."

I walked into a dressing room that was nicer than my apartment and locked the door so I'd have a little warning before Lula barged in. This is probably what skip chasing would be like if I had to go along with my mother. Lula and my mom did have a few similarities. They both have a flair for the dramatics, were obsessed with my love life, and couldn't keep their opinions to themselves. Maybe it was something about me that attracted people like them. Then again, Ranger was attracted to me and he isn't anything like my mom or Lula. Though he is obsessed with my love life, but that's only because he's the star of it.

I heard a bang on the door."I don't hear no clothes rustlin'," Lula said."What the heck are you doing in there?"

I didn't think she'd care for my thoughts on how like my mother she is so I didn't bother answering her question.

"I'll be right out," I told her, and got busy changing.

I couldn't remove my clothes faster than Ranger got me out of them, but I was close. When I smoothed the dress down my body and looked at my reflection in the full-length mirror, I had to take a moment to collect myself. I'm no supermodel, but the woman looking back at me in the mirror is the one I want to be. Confident, classy, and also beautiful. The perfect match for Ranger.

After one last glance in the mirror, I blew out a breath and opened the door to get Lula's opinion.

"Holy fuck!" She said."I don't swing that way, but if I did, I'd be givin' you a second look in that. You were right, that is your dress."

"You look absolutely stunning," the saleswoman said.

And I don't think she was only saying that to make a sale.

The sleeveless dress with a deep V neckline, and body-hugging fit, accentuated all the things that I like about my body. It brought attention to my breasts without appearing trashy. The ruched waist made mine seem smaller without making my ass look big. And it didn't have a seven-foot long train to trip over. It was simple, elegant, and I was getting it even if I had to work twenty-four hours a day from now until the wedding.

"If you don't buy that dress," Lula said, apparently thinking the same thing,"I'll shoot you myself."

I turned to the saleswoman."How much is it?" I asked her.

"We can work something out," she said."My sister Jessica is the owner of the store and I'm sure she'll be fine with me putting it aside for you."

I started breathing again. I didn't really like lettuce and I wasn't looking forward to reducing my food budget. Now I might not have to.

"Thank you," I told her."I was ready to handcuff myself to the door so nobody would make off with the dress until I could pay for it."

"She's got handcuffs," Lula said to the woman."And she'd do it, too. Steph goes after what she wants. That's how she roped Batman."

"Batman?"

"Nickname," I told her.

"It's just my sister and I running the store," the woman said to me."If I'm not here when you come back, just tell Jessica that you're the woman Katie told her about."

"Thank you," I said."I really appreciate this."

"Now that we got that settled," Lula started to say.

"We?" I asked her.

"Okay, you two figured this out, but now that you got your dress, we gotta go get Webber so you can pay for it."

I sighed. Looks like the clock just struck twelve and I was back to being Stephanie Plum again.

I'll be back, I mentally told my dress, and went to change into my jeans and T-shirt.

I passed the dress to the saleswoman, promising her that I'd be back tomorrow. I had to catch Dusty now. Between my savings and his capture money I should be able to swing it.

"I got a good feelin' about this capture," Lula said, as we buckled ourselves into the Cayenne.

"You always say that when something is about to go to hell."

"This time might be different."

"Maybe," I said, not convinced at all.

I left the store lot and drove to Derek's house.

The shotgun-style house was in much better condition than Dusty's. At least it looked like it was from the outside. I parked on the street, making sure to lock my doors when Lula and I stepped out of the car. My spidey-sense immediately started humming. I'd bet anything that Dusty is in that house.

"He's here," I told Lula.

"Who's here?"

"Dusty."

"How do you know that?" Lula asked."Did you see him? I don't know how you could have. It looks like those curtains ain't never been opened."

"I just know."

Ranger is always telling me to trust my instincts, and right now they were screaming at me. Derek was either full of shit, or Dusty coughed up what he owed him. It didn't matter which is was, I was pissed off at both of them now.

"I know that look," Lula said, watching me."I'm gonna get to give a beatdown today."

"Maybe one to the cousin, too," I told her.

"Let's do this."

"Since this house seems to be surrounded by chain link, we'll have to both take the front door, unless you think you can get yourself over the fence to the back door."

Lula's eyes bugged out."You think I can shimmy up a fence in this skirt? I was lucky I got out of your car without flashin' everybody my goods."

"Why don't you dress appropriately?" I asked Lula.

"I am dressed appropriately."

"For what?" I asked, checking out her black sequined miniskirt and red stretched-beyond-capacity tank top with silver thread woven into it.

If I lined Lula up perfectly with the sun, I might be able to blind Dusty and get him into the Cayenne before his retinas had a chance to cool.

"For this capture," she said."Those idiots will be so distracted by my voluptuousness, they won't even notice you until you snap cuffs on 'em."

I guess there's more than one way to blind a fugitive.

Lula stood on the right side of the door, I took the left and knocked loudly. There was no answer and I wasn't surprised. I was expecting Dusty to bolt, and Derek was giving him time to do just that. I knocked harder and finally heard shuffling from inside the house. And when a guy who bore a striking resemblance to Dusty opened the door, I saw the back door closing behind him.

"He's on the move," I told Lula."Will you be all right here? I want to get Dusty before he disappears on me."

Lula looked Derek Webber up and down."You go on ahead, I can handle his scrawny ass all on my own."

I didn't doubt Lula, so I pushed past Derek and took off after Dusty through the house, pulling the gun out of my waistband as I did. When I hit dirt, I stopped and looked around the backyard. I saw more fencing, lots of tall weeds, and Dusty standing in an empty lot on the opposite side of the fence enclosing Derek's house. Shit. Unless I was going to shoot him, I had to climb the stupid thing. I knew he'd be long gone if I went back into the house.

I walked across the yard and got close enough to Dusty to see the jerk sneering at me.

"Come and get me, bitch," Dusty said, standing still with his fingers curled around the metal.

The asshole wasn't even attempting to run

"Oh, that's original," I told him, getting a little angry because he didn't think I could bring him in.

I don't know what the heck I was thinking, except that I really wanted an opportunity to wipe that smirk off his face with my fist. Two days with Ranger and the guys in the gym and suddenly I think I'm Spiderman. I stuck my Cat boot inside one of the holes in the fence, gripped a section of metal above me, and started to climb. If I had any sense, I would have noticed that the old fence hadn't been properly installed. The chain link was moving too much and the top of it looked sharper the closer I came to it. Shit.

Dusty had taken off as soon as I got a foot off the ground. I was hoping Lula had Derek under control, because I wouldn't be any help to her now. After what felt like an hour, I was about to swing my leg over the top of the thing - while in the process of mentally patting myself on the back for hauling my ass up an eight-foot fence - when my foot got caught on something and I ended up falling back the way I came. I managed to break my fall with the upper part of my right arm, which I knew would not look pretty when I had a chance to look at it. I was left suspended by the fabric of my Rangeman windbreaker and I was praying it held until Lula could help me down. I was just about to shout her name, since I didn't hear any yelling or swearing close by, when my jacket tore. Guess I shouldn't have eaten some of Lula's chicken before coming here. Those extra ounces of hydrogenated fat were probably too much for my jacket to hold up. Ranger ordered the highest quality materials for our uniforms, but nylon wasn't meant to support a hundred and something pound woman six feet off the ground.

"Ouch," was the only thing I could think to say when I landed.

There was a distinct "oh fuck!" coming from the house and then Lula was standing over me.

"I ain't no doctor," she said, staring at my ripped-open sleeve,"but your arm don't look so good."

It was then that the burning sensation suddenly registered in my brain.

"How does it look?" I asked.

"Bloody."

That wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"It can't be too serious," I told her, slowly standing up and purposely keeping my eyes off of my injury."The pain isn't too horrible yet."

"It will be tomorrow," she said."And your ears will be sore, too, once Ranger hears about this."

"He doesn't have to hear about it until after Dusty is locked up," I said to her.

"You're not serious? You ain't going after him now, are you? You've already wrecked your jacket, your jeans, and I'd say your arm, too. Did you channel a monkey or something and then climb that poor excuse for a fence?"

"Yes, but I was actually thinking more along the lines of Spiderman. And I am going to find Dusty. I'm mad now and he's going to pay for it. I know you came out of the house, but I don't see Derek. What did you do to him?"

"He was being disrespectful, so I cuffed his ass."

"Lula, you can't just handcuff someone because they're annoying."

"And if I say he was tryin' to keep me from goin' after you?"

That's the excuse I was going to give the police if they eventually got called.

I slid my left arm out of my torn jacket and eased it off my body."Where exactly is Derek cuffed?" I asked Lula, wanting to know how much trouble I might be in.

"I got him attached to the fridge," she said, smiling.

"If I wasn't focused on catching Dusty, I'd be letting you have it for restraining someone we have no authorization to hold."

"He was actin' like a uncivilized douchebag. I don't think anyone would blame me for hittin' him upside his head and stickin' him to his refrigerator."

"You didn't say anything about assaulting him," I said to her.

"You're right, I didn't," Lula said."Remember that in case someone in a uniform decides to ask."

"Sure," I told her.

I crouched down to grab my bag where it had fallen when I landed on my ass, and then searched for my gun which had gone missing during the fall. I couldn't afford to replace that, too. Luckily, it was not far from the fence. With my right arm tucked close to my body, I stuck my gun into the back of my jeans. I knew I wouldn't be a good shot with my left hand but, if I needed to, I thought I could scare Dusty enough for Lula to get my cuffs on him. If she couldn't, I was just going to shoot Dusty and have one of the guys bury him.

"You're not seriously thinkin' about hunting down Dusty now, are you?"

"Yes," I told her."We're going to let Derek go and then check the neighborhood for Dusty," I told her."He couldn't have gone far."

"Steph," Lula said, looking at the steady stream of blood dripping down my arm,"I don't think that's a good idea. Maybe you should call Ranger."

"No," I said to her, trying to tie my windbreaker around my arm to slow the blood. The pain was minimal so far and I was concentrating only on nabbing Webber."I'm going to catch this asshole if it kills me. I don't need Ranger to do it for me."

I didn't commit to working with Ranger and the guys only to have to call them the first time I went out after someone with the knowledge I now have.

"It might kill you if you're not careful," Lula told me."You really want to be buried in that dress instead of walkin' down the aisle in it?"

"Dusty isn't going to kill me, Lula," I said to her."And I'm not going to die from a cut on my arm."

"Unless you get one of them staph infections I've heard about," Lula said to me."And what if your arm turns green and falls off? Who'll be my partner then? Give me your phone."

"Why?" I asked her.

"Because I don't want Ranger to blame me for lettin' you go after this moron. If you won't call him, then I will."

"Be my guest," I told her."While you're on the phone, I'm going to get Dusty."

"I can multi-task," she said, taking my cell from me.

"Yo, Batman," Lula said into the phone."Our Wonder Woman here is making me wonder what the heck is going through her head right now." She paused to listen to Ranger."We're at Derek Webber's house in Ewing. Oh, and she's bleeding. I need reinforcements to keep her skinny ass all in one piece."

"Lula!" I yelled over my shoulder at her."Don't tell him that."

I stopped walking and turned back to her, more afraid that a SWAT team would be arriving any second then I was of either Webber.

"Give me the phone. I'm fine," I told Ranger, as soon as I got my cell out of Lula's hand.

"Are you really bleeding?" He asked, making me glare at Lula.

It really wasn't nice of her to make Ranger worry unnecessarily.

"It's just a scratch on my arm," I said to him.

"Don't listen to her," Lula said, invading my personal space to shout into the phone."She's got her jacket wrapped around it. And those Rangeman jackets aren't all that absorbent."

I looked down at my arm. Lula was right, the jacket wasn't doing anything.

"Babe, tell me the truth. How bad is it?"

I sighed. I couldn't resist that tone."I don't really know," I told him.

"Describe it to me so I know how serious it is."

"I can't, because I don't want to look at it."

"If you're being squeamish, then it has to be bad," Ranger said, his voice gentle."Tank and I are now ten minutes away. Go back to your car and wait for us." He paused."Unless you'll let me call an ambulance."

"No," I said."No, ambulance. I definitely know it isn't bad enough to warrant an EMT."

"Wait for me at your car. We'll be there soon."

"Ranger ..."

He already knew what I was going to say.

"I would tell any of the men the same thing, Steph," Ranger told me."I don't want anyone who works for me going after a FTA when they aren't a hundred percent if there is a way to avoid it."

"Technically, today I'm working for Vinnie."

"Babe."

"Okay, I'm going, but if I don't get Dusty today, I'm not going to be happy."

"I won't be happy if something else happens to you. And you will get your skip today," Ranger said, and hung up.

"What'd he say?" Lula asked.

"Thanks to your tattling, he's on his way. He didn't ask for the address, so I'm guessing he's been in touch with the control room."

"I wish I had a control room to boss around."

"Ranger doesn't boss them around," I said to her.

She gave me a you've got to be kidding me? look.

"So he bosses them around a little, but that's his job. He is the boss. If I didn't know he was going to be on the road today, I'd swear Ranger was following me."

"I wish I had that man watchin' my ass," Lula said, as we both started back to Derek Webber's house."And I mean that in every way possible."

"I figured you did."

And Lula wasn't even aware that when Ranger's eyes were on your ass, it can actually feel like his hands were there, too. That's something I was happy to keep to myself, though.

Lula wasn't joking about cuffing Derek. She had threaded the handcuffs through the door handle of the fridge. I was really curious to see if he'd be able to get a beer out of it chained up like that.

"Let me guess," I said to Derek,"you and Dusty made up?"

He shrugged."He was real interested in giving back what he owed me once he found out I was talking to you."

"And how exactly did he find that out?" I asked.

"I told him," Derek said.

"You know what I'm thinkin', Steph?"

"What?"

"I think we should leave him cuffed," Lula said."Ranger's gonna be good and pissed when he gets here and has a look at you. Dickbag Derek might be willin' to give up his cousin again as soon as Ranger gets in his face."

Lula might be onto something. Derek did seem paler after hearing that.

"Ranger Manoso?" He asked.

"You bet your ass Ranger Manoso," Lula said to him."You just screwed over his future wife."

He glanced at my left hand, then swallowed.

There was a car door slam out front, and two seconds later the kitchen became a whole lot smaller as Ranger and Tank invaded it. After a quick flick of his eyes over Derek, probably x-raying him for weapons, Ranger was beside me removing the jacket from my arm.

"Why is he cuffed to the fridge?" Tank asked us.

I flinched as Ranger touched a particularly sore spot."He made Lula angry," I told Tank to take my mind off of what Ranger was doing.

"That brings back some memories," Tank said, I think to himself.

I was praying like hell that he was referring to Lula's temper and not to being handcuffed by her at some point. Lula naked was bad enough, but thoughts of both Lula and Tank, naked together, are therapy-inducing.

"What do you mean by that?" Lula asked him, eyes narrowed into angry slits."You best not be talkin' about ..."

"Lula, don't you dare say another word," I told her."I've been injured enough for one day."

"Fine, have it your way," she said to me."But he better remember that he chose a whole other type of pussy over me so he don't get to bring up none of the fun stuff we did together."

Tank didn't say anything, but his lips were dangerously close to a smile, which only made me shudder more. And I thought Tank was really lucky that Lula had already turned her back to him.

"How did this happen?" Ranger asked, thankfully bringing my attention back to him.

His eyes cut to Derek, who was at the moment trying to make himself as inconspicuous as a guy could when he was attached to an appliance. I knew Ranger's glance was actually a question. He was asking if Derek was responsible for the current state of my arm.

"It wasn't his fault," I told Ranger,"except that he told me where to grab Dusty but didn't bother to inform me that Dusty wasn't going to show up after the two of them made nice. But my arm is the result of the fence out back."

"You climbed it?" Ranger asked.

"Yep. All eight feet of it," I told him, feeling proud of myself.

"Good for you, Steph," Tank said.

"It wasn't too good. I ended up taking the short way down the wrong side of it."

"You felt like you could do it, Steph," Ranger said,"and that's a step in the right direction."

"Well, I think she took a big step back when she insisted on still going after that dirtball," Lula said."If I hadn't called you, I'd be following her bony butt through this shitty neighborhood, having to poke my head into God knows what, and we'd be gettin' our stupid selves chased by angry residents."

"I never thought I'd say this, Babe, but I agree partly with Lula," Ranger told me."You should have called me yourself."

"Hey! What is this? Dump on Lula day?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes at her and turned back to Ranger."So Doc, am I all right?" I asked him.

"Can I be next?" Lula said."I wouldn't mind playin' doctor with him."

Ranger ignored her and Tank and I followed suit. It's best not to encourage Lula when she gets going.

"You have a chunk of skin torn out of your arm and a few deep scratches."

"A chunk?" I asked."How big of a chunk?"

"Big enough that a few stitches would help it heal faster and cleaner," Ranger told me.

"Shit, that means a scar doesn't it?"

Lula knew what was running through my mind."You'd better get those stitches," she said to me."You just found your dress, you don't want some nasty scar stealin' the show."

"Dress?" Ranger asked."You went shopping? I thought you were working today."

"I was," I said to Ranger."Derek told me that Dusty would be home this morning. After Lula and I figured he was a no-show, we decided to pay Derek a visit. On the way, I saw a wedding dress I liked in a store window."

"And wait until you see her in it," Lula told him."She could pass for one of them models in a bride magazine."

"I don't doubt it," Ranger said, his eyes lingering on my face before he spoke again."You had a full day."

"And I'm still skip-less," I said to Ranger."Is it possible to get Dusty and then deal with my arm?"

"No."

I blew out a sigh. How did I know he was going to say that?

"But you will get your capture receipt today," Ranger said, looking past me to Tank and the still chained Derek."You and Lula go back to the car while Tank and I find out where Dusty is."

Lula snorted before smiling at Derek."Told you Ranger was gonna mess you up. Nobody fucks with Stephanie on his watch."

"Ranger isn't going to mess anyone up," I told her."Right, Ranger?"

Ranger's eyes went cold as he looked at Derek."Not if he tells me where Dusty is right now?"

"I don't know where he is," Derek said."He left when they showed up."

Not to be left out, Tank moved in closer and stared down at Derek. Tank stared down at everyone. There isn't many people in Trenton taller than him.

"That isn't the answer you want to give him," Tank told Derek, nodding in Ranger's direction."He's capable of killing me with his bare hands. Imagine what he could do to a little guy like you."

"Jeez," I said, feeling nervous for Derek now.

Ranger looked over at me, his mouth tipped up on one side."Babe."

"I know. I know. Wait outside." I said, and headed to the door with Lula.

Ranger's F-150 truck was parked in front of my Cayenne. I beeped the Porsche unlocked, and Lula and I leaned against it while we waited for Ranger and Tank. It took less than four minutes from the time we left the house to the time they walked out of it, and I was pretty sure that some of it was used to free Derek from the fridge.

"Do we need to call an ambulance for him?" I asked Ranger.

"Are you implying that I have to use force to get answers out of someone?" He asked me.

"No, but Tank is an action-oriented kind of guy."

"I hear that," Lula said.

"Don't take this the wrong way, guys, but can you and Tank go back to not speaking to each other? You're grossing me out."

"We're gonna need to be gettin' along," Lula said."Tank will no doubt be Ranger's best man, and I know I'm gonna be your Maid of Honor. That's a real big responsibility, so we can't be fightin' until after your weddin'. But if he shows up reeking of cats, I take all of that back."

I wasn't going to waste time talking about a wedding when we still have a skip to pick up.

"Do we know where Dusty is?" I asked Ranger.

"He's got a friend that lives two streets over," Ranger said to us."He told his cousin that he'd be there if he had to run. Tank is going to take Lula and my truck and go pick him up while I drive you to St. Francis in your car."

"Sure," I told Ranger,"but I'm not taking the capture money if I'm not the one doing the capturing."

"Lula will get her share of it," Tank said to me."You'll get the rest. You found both Webbers, and because of that we know where to grab Dusty."

"I think the tag team intimidating you and Ranger just did got the lead on Dusty. Not me."

"It's already settled, Babe. Let's get you taken care of now."

He took out the First-Aid kit from the backseat of his truck and cleaned me up as much as he could before securing a bandage over the worst of the damage.

I glanced at Lula while Ranger was working on me."You're right, he does boss people around."

Lula's eyes shot to Ranger, and he leveled a look at her.

"That's for calling him when I told you not to," I said to Lula.

"I didn't mean it like she made it sound," Lula told Ranger.

I let her sweat for a minute before I relented and finally smiled at her.

"It okay, Lula. Ranger knows he's opinionated."

"I'm not opinionated, Steph. I'm right."

"And incredibly humble, too," I told him, and kissed his cheek.

"I have no reason to be," Ranger said."Now get in the car."

I watched Tank load Lula up into Ranger's truck before I did what Ranger told me to do. The F-150 is much higher off the ground than my Cayenne so Tank just picked Lula up and stuck her inside the cab. I really hoped he had plenty of cat hair on him today. I wouldn't survive another round of a Lula and Tank romance.

When they took off down the street I turned to Ranger.

"You're lucky authoritative works for you, or I'd be leaving with Tank and Lula."

"I'm not lucky, Steph. You just know that I'm always acting in your best interest no matter how I sound."

"That's what I said," I told Ranger, and got into the Cayenne.

"Tell me about this dress you found," Ranger said, as he drove us to the hospital.

"Are you trying to distract me so I won't start begging you to take me to Rangeman instead of St. Francis?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter how much you beg me, Babe, you're still getting checked out. When was your last tetanus shot?"

"I don't remember, but it couldn't have been that long ago. And I don't want a shot," I said to him."They're already going to be shoving a needle repeatedly through my skin, I shouldn't have to get a shot, too."

"There's a chance you won't need one," Ranger told me."You've been to the ER so many times, you're most likely up-to-date. Now tell me about the dress. How hard is it going to be to get you out of it?"

And with just that question, Ranger had effectively taken my mind off of a potential needle prick.

"It won't be all that difficult," I told him."It only has a small row of buttons down the back, but the skirt is a little snug-fitting."

"I can work with that," Ranger said, taking his eyes off the road long enough to flash me a full-on smile.

"That's all the information you're getting out of me. I may not be traditional, but I'm going to make you wait to see it. As cheesy as it may sound, the second I spotted it, I knew I'd be wearing it when I married you."

"You could get married naked, Babe, and it would be fine with me."

I laughed."I bet you'd even prefer it, but while you may be okay with it, a priest might have a few issues with that idea," I said, sliding my left hand up his thigh."And if I was naked, I wouldn't be able to show anyone our wedding photos."

"I'd make sure you didn't share them by keeping them with me at all times."

"You'd rather look at pictures than have the real thing?"

"No," Ranger said, pulling into the lot near the ER entrance,"the pictures will be for the times when I can't have the real thing. Which I promise you, Babe, won't be very often."

Great, now I was blushing and something way below my arm was starting to throb, too.

Ranger stowed our weapons and then escorted me into the building. After forty minutes, I walked back out with him feeling a lot better. Ranger had stayed with me, and held my hand, while I was stitched up and got the stupid tetanus booster they insisted I needed. Tank had called Ranger to say that he had Dusty in custody so I knew my dress would be coming home with me. I was told to take tomorrow off. And Ranger was in one of his wants to take care of me moods. So aside from leaving a piece of my arm over in Ewing, this has turned out to be a pretty good day.

Ranger opened the car door for me and, as I brushed against him on my way into the car, I couldn't help but think that tonight held a few possibilities, too.

A/N: I tried to include the link for Stephanie's dress, but only a portion of it would show so if you're really interested in what it looks like you can google David Tutera #211268 to see a few images.