Mario X Wii Fit Trainer
Support C
Mario: Ah... *Weeze* I'm getting too old for this. I think it's time we stopped for the night.
Trainer: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTT!
Mario: Aaaaaaaaaaah! You nearly gave me a heart attack!
Trainer: I, give you a heart attack? Do not make me laugh, Mr. Nintendo!
Mario: I... Huh?
Trainer: Your body is like your garden. You care for it, nurture it lovingly and it will reward you. I mean, look at you! Just a little walking has gotten you all out of breath!
Mario: Well, I fight a lot too. We all do. We're all a little worn out.
Trainer: No no no! You do NOT make excuses for your lifestyle. Far from it! You are brave, yes? Scaling castle walls, slaughtering millions of innocent turtles and Mushroomy thing, crossing entire oceans to complete your goals?
Mario: Well, I wouldn't say I-
Trainer: You may be brave, but you are hurting yourself with your constant snacking and your lounging about!
Mario: Listen, Ma'am. I've been doing very well for myself for over thirty years now-
Trainer: All the more reason to improve mind and body! There are people depending on you, yes? People who love you, the men you lead?
Mario: I suppose.
Trainer: A leader should set a standard for his followers. By improving yourself, you improve your body and your mind, and other people may follow your lead, positively influencing our little group!
Mario: Perhaps... whenever I start a new adventure, I'm never QUITE up to par as I was at the end of my last...
Trainer: Of course! Exercise is key.
Mario: So I suppose that if I just keep walking as I have been doing, I shall get into shape in no time. Thank you for your time, Ma'am.
Trainer: Ha! Your welcome... Sir... Hey, wait a minute! You're going to have to do more then that! I'm going to shape you up if it's the last thing I do!
Support B
Trainer: That's it... Now just take a deep breath... AND RIP THAT TREE FROM THE GROUND WITH YOUR BARE HANDS.
Mario: *Sigh* Why did I ever agree to this...?
Trainer: Because you need to improve yourself, plumber! Now do it!
Mario: I don't really like the idea of ripping out a tree for no reason. I mean, I'll kill the tree for one thing. And any animals that rely on it for food or shelter...
Trainer: ... You're right. I'm sorry. It's just... I'm at my wits end. You're an overweight, middleaged man who dines on pasta and sits around whenever and wherever he gets the chance... but you are so strong! I've known gymnasts who can't do the stuff you do! I'm not exactly sure how to train you, to be honest.
Mario: Hmmm... I see. So can I go then...?
Trainer: No. I just have to think about this some more.
Mario: In the meantime, I'm just going to have a little nap.
Trainer: Fine... I suppose. You did do nearly everything I asked...
Mario: Zzzzzzzzz...
Trainer: I can see why he's the Defender of Mushroom World... Hmm. What to do... What to do...
Support A
Trainer: Well, I have been thinking for a while about our little problem. And I think I found the solution!
Mario: Oh?
Trainer: Ta-da-da-da! A struggle journal!
Mario: A... Struggle journal?
Trainer: That's right. I theorize that for whatever reason, all of your muscle is hidden underneath your body fat. So in order to burn that body fat away, we need to build more muscle, but I'm not sure exactly which part of your body we should focus on.
Mario: Okay... Go on...
Trainer: So! The idea behind the struggle journal is pretty simple. You just write down whatever you have trouble with doing with your body. In battle, or whether running around. We know you get winded eventually, so we'll start with endurance runs.
Mario: We?
Trainer: I'm going with you, of course! I won't have you slacking off on me! I'll be keeping an eye on you as well, so be sure to fill out that journal!
Mario: I'll give it a shot, but I feel like I can do whatever I like, to be honest.
S Support
Trainer: Okay... Just breath... relax yourself... Good job, me. Now to tone up those legs...
Mario: Have a moment?
Trainer: Oh... Uh, yes. I'm always willing to talk to my trainees. What do you have to show me?
Mario: I filled out some struggle journal stuff.
Trainer: Excellent. Let's hear it then.
Mario: Hmmm... Let me see... Day One: I ran as long and as hard as I could. It was very stressful. I think my trainer is a slave driver.
Trainer: Tch. I've been called worse.
Mario: Day two: I clobbered a Hedgehog with a hammer. I didn't do it hard enough.
Trainer: You can never do that hard enough. You should try swinging your weapons around more, and we'll see what we can do.
Mario: Day three: I could only consume sixteen bowls of pasta at dinner tonight. It was delicious, and I'm horrified that I could not stomach anymore.
Trainer: Ah! What did I tell you about rationing your meals? That's insanely unhealthy! What were you thinking?
Mario: I was thinking that I was hungry.
Trainer: You are not going to become healthier by just... eating up anything they throw in front of you! That's disgusting!
Mario: I don't know. I've noticed that I can lift a little more after I've eaten.
Trainer: Really? Interesting. Something to think about, that is. And... mmmmm... What next?
Mario: Day Four: I find myself unable to confess that I love you.
Trainer: Well, that's a load off of my mind- wait what?
Mario: I love you.
Trainer: I... But... I... You're... How...? Your mustache... so luscious... Ahhh... But I'm just...
Mario: What is it?
Trainer: I'm just a girl who got dragged into this mess against her will. I don't know understand how someone like you... so brave and strong and kind and funny... could fall for someone like me.
Mario: I really should have kept a journal.
Trainer: So should I... Umm... Does this mean...?
Mario: Will you marry me?
Trainer: I... Yes. I will. Forgive me, I feel all... warm.
Mario: To celebrate, I think we should just have a nice bowl of pasta.
Trainer: Ah! How dare you! Such an important moment in our lives and you... are... laughing... Cut it out! It's not that funny!