I hate living without you. Dead wrong to ever doubt you. But my demons lay in waiting.

Tempting me away. Oh, how I adore you. Oh, how I thirst for you.

Oh, how I need you. Comatose. I'll never wake up without an overdose of you.

I don't wanna live. I don't wanna breathe. 'Less I feel you next to me.

You take the pain I feel. Waking up to you never felt so real.

I don't wanna sleep. I don't wanna dream. 'Cause my dreams don't comfort me.

The way you make me feel. Waking up to you never felt so real.

Comatose – Skillet

11/29/12

Dear Diary,

It's been days. And Dean hasn't returned. I haven't seen much of Stefan either. But then again, I've been kind of avoiding him. What do I say to him? "I'm sorry that I broke your heart by kissing –" No. I can't. I can't say that. I miss Dean. And now, I'm starting to get kind of worried. He would've at least said something to Sam, right? And Sam wouldn't hide it from me. Would he? I just don't know what to think. I'm really starting to consider Shad/Lord DeSangue's offer. Maybe I should I ask Damon and Alaric first. Maybe…

"Hey," A voice from the door way called, startling Elena. She jolted, nearly dropping her diary. She gave a sharp intake of breath before exhaling it in a whoosh. "Jeremy," She breathed, "Don't do that."

Jeremy flashed her a sheepish grin. "Sorry." "It's okay." "I was just wondering if you were driving to school today. I might get a ride with you, if you were." Elena nodded. "Of course. There's just a stop I gotta make first, if you don't mind…" She said, trailing off. Jeremy nodded. "Okay. I'll meet you downstairs then."

The Salvatore Boardinghouse was a sprawling building that once could've put the Lockwood Manor to shame. But now, it was covered with vines and centuries worth of stains from grime and filth.

But, through all the muck, its beauty still shone through. It was still a breath taking, elegantly crafted residence. Elena pulled her car into the driveway. Unbuckling her seatbelt, she glanced at Jeremy, saying hesitantly, "You could stay out here, if you want."

The memory of Damon snapping Jeremy's neck danced through her mind, making her wince internally. Jeremy simply blinked at her, "I'll go in." He said firmly. Elena drew in a breath, closing her eyes as she climbed out of the car.

She and Jeremy walked towards the door in silence. The door opened as Elena reached it. "Jeremy. Elena." Damon said genially. His raven mop of hair was mussed. He was dressed in a loose-fitting black long-sleeved shirt and jeans.

He looked like he could've been a model for those jeans. Hell, he could've modeled the entire outfit and started a new fashion trend. Elena pushed the thoughts away and stared into Damon's silvery-blue eyes steadily. "Can we talk?"

Damon placed his hand over his heart, a look of mock mortification on his face, "Elena! I'm scandalized. This, after your boyfriend leaves? How could you?" Elena rolled her eyes at Damon's words, brushing past him. Aware that Jeremy was not far behind her.

"Yes, please. Come in. Enjoy my personal space. While you're at it, you want to just go ahead and make yourself at home." Damon's words carried through the silence, flowing after her.

She shrugged off the wave of annoyance that arose at his biting, sarcastic words. "I need your help;" Elena said coolly, "Dean is missing." "Well, excuse me," Damon said just as casually, "But, do I look like your search dog?"

Elena opened her mouth, outraged, but Damon soldiered on, "Well, sorry. But Timmy is just going to have to stay down the well, isn't it? Because Lassie isn't going looking for him." "Let her speak!" Jeremy interjected; his brown eyes hard.

Damon's brows hiked at the youngest Gilbert's words. Elena stepped between the vampire and her brother (cousin), holding her hands up, announcing, "Officially playing referee now." Drawing in a deep breath, Elena says in a low voice, "Damon, I just want to know, can I trust him?"

"Who? Your brother? You live with him, don't you?" Damon quipped, his arctic blue eyes hardened, not unlike sapphires. "No! DeSangue." The severity that overlaid Damon's features melted away as he burst out laughing – laughing so hard he doubled over.

Elena and Jeremy just gaped at him helplessly as the vampire grasped the table in front of him, hiccupping – actually hiccupping, from laughter. "So… he's… still using my old name, eh?" Damon said, wheezing as he sobered up. Mirth still dancing in his crystalline eyes.

"What?" Elena gawked at him, flummoxed. "Yeah, it was one of my many aliases from back in the day," the vampire said as offhandedly as if he were commenting on the weather. "But… but…" Elena stammered, still staring at him as if he had sprouted a tail.

"I used "Count DeSangue" as a pseudonym in the 1880s." Damon said carefully, as though she were slow on the uptake. Elena looked at Jeremy unsteadily. The youngest Gilbert shook his head, saying callously, "And how does he know this?"

"Well, we're old friends, of course." "You had friends." It was meant to be a question, but the mordant tone Jeremy used made it a statement. Scornful amusement was plastered over the boy's face. "Yes, I did." Damon's quiet tones held a hint of menace.

Elena grasped Jeremy's elbow protectively. "Can I trust him, Damon?" Elena repeated. "Maybe." Was Damon's only reply. Elena cast him a frustrated glance. "Well, if you won't help me, I'll just find someone who can." Elena whirled and stalked past him, and towards the door. Jeremy trailing after her.

"Arrogant ass!" Elena almost shrieked, yanking the car door open. She flung herself into the driver's seat. Jeremy climbed into the passenger side, staring at his older sister in surprise. "You okay?" He asked carefully.

Elena nodded at him; then understanding washed over her. "I know!" She said excitedly, "I know who can help us!" "Who?" Jeremy sputtered stunned. "An old friend." Elena said with a smile.

"Uh-huh. And you're sure of this?" "I am sure," Elena replied with a sigh, "Even Sam hasn't heard from him. And that worries me even more. He usually checks in with Sam by now." "Ohh…" "Yeah. Sam's been looking in hospitals, jails, everywhere. And there's just nothing."

Elena's voice cracked as tears sprang to her eyes, flooding her vision as she all but whimpered, "I'm really scared, Bobby. And I need your help." "I'll see what I can do. But, you know Dean, Elena. If he doesn't want anyone findin' him, he ain't gon' be found."

"I know. But, he's never acted like this before…. Has he?" "No. At least, not for this long. And if Sam can't find him, then…." "Something's really wrong." Elena finished for him, horror seeping into her veins. "Yeah." "So, you'll help us?" "Of course."

"Thank you, Bobby." Elena said, lethargy finally descending upon her. "You're welcome, 'Lena Bean." Bobby Singer hung up his phone, rubbing his brow as he muttered to himself, "Dean, what've you gotten yourself into, ya idjit?"

Elena was dreaming. And on some subconscious level, she knew that. But couldn't snap out of it. Her delicate hands clenched the bedding into her fists. She shuddered with fear and sobbed softly in her sleep. Well aware of her brother shaking her and shouting her name.

Elena was in a forest. She was tensed and alert. The sound of leaves and twigs crunching under foot send chills racing up and down her spine and she spun around. Something shot forward from the ground and hit her in the chest, knocking the breath from her.

Her ribs burst into flame as claws ripped through her flesh as easily as a blade shredding a ribbon. Elena's head hit the ground and her entire skull burst into white hot agony as her vision went grey and finally black.

Elena bolted upright, gasping for air. Jeremy lurched back, staring at her with wide eyes. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she noted with slight reflection that her cheeks were wet.

Tremors still raced through her as she realized that her breathing was shuddered. That tears continued to spill down her cheeks. "Dean…." She whispered achingly.

11/30/12

Dear Diary…