I have died every day, waiting for you.

Darling, don't be afraid. I have loved you.

For a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more.

A Thousand Years – Christina Perri

I'm dying. A distant part of Elena's mind said with surprising calm. This is what dying feels like. She remained still. Every fiber of her being alit with pain. Every inch of her burning with white-hot throbbing agony.

She forced herself to remain motionless, stock still as something cold and wet pressed to her cheek. A snuffling sound resounded in her ears as it began to trail down her throat. It was a nose.

Oh, god. Elena thought, her heart jerking with panic. She felt it almost slam against her ribs with each thump. Her stomach nearly dropped. But she remained still. Panic searing through her nerves.

Blindly, she reached out. Searching for… something. She had a vague memory of plastic and steel in her hands. Steel couldn't possibly work against this thing. But silver could. And it… Ah! Elena thought triumphantly.

Her fingers curled around the object as a thick rope of something hot and sticky dripped onto her cheek. A shudder of disgust rippled through her as a feral growl rumbled in her ear.

Opening her eyes quickly, she whipped the gun off the ground, aiming it at the beast that hovered above her. A flash of wide, startled, almost human eyes caught her attention momentarily before she pulled the trigger. A loud crack rang in her ears and a spray of blood painted the air crimson.

Elena bolted forward, gasping. Her hands slammed against the desk in front of her as she grasped it with the air of a drowning victim grasping their rescuer. Every head in the classroom swiveled to face her.

Alaric stared at her with concern. "I'm fine," Elena said, blood rushing to her cheeks. Caroline and Bonnie were looking at her. A paper plane soared through the air and landed on her desk.

Elena unfolded it, and read; Are you okay? Bonnie. Elena sighed, scribbling a hasty, Yeah. I'm fine. Just had a nightmare. Before refolding it and tossing it back to her friend.

Bonnie cast her an inquiring look. Silently asking her what the nightmare was about. Elena breathed in a sharp intake of breath, realizing that Bonnie, nor Caroline knew about Dean. May as well tell them. Elena thought with a jolt of dismay.

"Wow," Caroline said for the fiftieth time. "Just… wow." Elena felt a tinge of pink brush over her cheeks as she stared down at the cup of coffee in front of her. Focusing so intently that the image of white and brown blurred.

"How could you keep this a secret from us?" Bonnie demanded, betrayal tainting her words. "Bonnie –" "No, you knew. You knew about vampires and demons and witches long before we did. And now –"

Bonnie took a deep breath, her cheeks flushed with outrage, "At least tell me, was he a good kisser?" Elena's chocolate orbs widened as her head shot up, stunned, she said, "Bonnie."

She glanced at Caroline, aghast. But the blonde was staring at their friend in newfound respect, she grinned, holding her hands up in silent surrender, "Hey. I'm only upset that Bonnie beat me to that question."

Elena huffed before her indignation was dissolved into giggles. She shook her head, chortling, "You two are incorrigible." Elena lowered her amber optics, her phone chiming.

Answering it, she said softly, "Hello?" "Hi. Elena?" Bobby Singer's voice said gruffly. "Hey, Bobby." Elena breathed, her heart thudding against her ribcage painfully. She waited on baited breath.

Elena didn't know how she could deal if Bobby told her anything other than, "He's alright". She heard Bobby draw in a breath. "I haven't found him yet. But, I know of someone who could find him. I just wanted you to know, he'll be fine. This is in trusted hands, 'Lena."

Elena breathed shallowly, "Thanks, Bobby." She said weakly. "Yeah." "So…" Caroline started as Elena hung up. "That was a friend. He said that he's pretty sure about how to find Dean." A weak smile spread across Elena's lips. "Oh," Caroline nodded.

"Okay." Elena had said for the tenth time. Jenna was pretty insistent that Elena come home and help her help some member of the Historical Society. "I'm at the door." She said finally. The door swung open.

"There you are," Jenna said breathlessly. "Here I am," Elena quipped, "I am here." She nodded stepping over the threshold. "Good," Jenna nodded. "Can you get those boxes?" Elena's aunt nodded her head towards a pile of boxes.

Drawing in a deep breath, Elena stepped into the hallway, picking up a box. "Hello," A soft, masculine voice said just behind her ear, "You must be the lovely Elena." Elena jumped, almost dropping a box. She whirled.

A man, in his early thirties, stood behind her. He was dressed in a dark business suit. His dark hair was parted in the middle. All in all, he looked very stylish. Elena could only gape at him.

Training from the Winchesters told her to take in his appearance, stance and be prepared for anything. Any surprises. The older man was pale. Elena swallowed thickly as she watched his muscles ripple as he moved.

Not unlike a jungle cat's. The grace, his pallor, the predatory light in his eyes. Vampire. The vampire smiled politely, "I apologize for the intrusion. I am Elijah."

"So, you're telling me that the oldest vampire in time… is coming after me?" Elena breathed, her heart thudding almost painfully in her chest. Sam leaned against the table, his eyes focused on the floor.

Stefan and Damon nodded solemnly. She was sitting on the couch in the foyer of the Salvatore Boardinghouse. Sam finally broke down and told her. He was courteous towards the Salvatore Brothers.

But the tension in his shoulders told Elena unmistakably that he was fighting the hunter's instinct to cut their heads off. "Does Dean know?" Elena asked, her voice quivering. Sam shook his head, "No. We haven't found him yet, Ellie."

Stefan and Damon's heads swiveled towards him, puzzlement clear in their eyes. "I can't," Elena said finally. "I just… I can't." She rose to her feet and turned, rushing from the room. "Elena!" Sam called to her, before bounding after her.

Elena broke into a run, yanking the front door open; she fled out to the courtyard. Sam grasped her wrist, halting her in her tracks, spinning her around to face him. "I can't, Sam,"

Elena gasped, tears stinging at her eyes, "I'm just so scared. First Dean vanishes, without a trace and every sign says that he's dead. And now this." "Ellie –" "No. You don't get it, Sam. I'm tired. I'm only seventeen." Elena hiccupped, the tears glistening as they trail down her cheeks.

"I'm a kid. And I have to deal with all this? It's not fair! I'm tired of caring. I'm tired of worrying. I have to worry about Jenna, Jeremy, Alaric, Stefan, Damon, Bonnie, Caroline, Matt, Dean, you. I mean, Jenna was in the hospital. Dean's missing. And now, this new vampire threat?"

She paused, her voice wobbling, "Can't I just be a kid for once? God! I'd give anything not to worry about vampires, demons, ghosts or werewolves for once! I'd love to join my friends and party and not care about anything but music and boys! But, I can't. Why? Because I'm me. I care. I worry. I suffer. And what do I get in return? More monsters. I can't. I'm done with all this, Sam." Elena took a step back, shaking her head. "I can't." She whirled, sprinting away.

12/06/12

Dear Diary,

Dean hasn't returned yet. And with the threat of even more vampires in Mystic Falls, I thought that maybe the word would get out. And that he'd be here. I'm scared. For the first time, I'm scared for myself. And as incredibly selfish as it sounds, I want him. I want him here. And now, I just keep hoping and wishing that he'd be here. So, so very shallow. I want him. I need him. And after all this, I don't know… don't know how we're going to survive all this. Not without him. One Winchester is good. But two would be far better. God help us all.