A/N: Yet another chapter. I hope you like it. :) And thank you for all the follows and favorites! Please, review.
I'm not read to let go.
'Cause then I'd never know what I could be missing.
But I'm missing way too much.
So, when do I give up what I've been wishing for?
I shot for the sky. I'm stuck on the ground.
So, why do I try? I know, I'm gonna fall down.
I thought I could fly. So, why did I drown?
I'll never know why. It's coming down, down, down.
Down – Jason Walker
Elena bolted upright, glancing to her left. Damon was sound asleep beside her. Swallowing thickly, Elena flickered from the bed, across the room and into the bathroom. Turning on the taps in the shower, the tub and the sink, Elena grabbed her cellphone and dialed Dean's number quickly.
The line rang three times before it was answered with a click. "Hello?" Dean's gruff voice said. "Dean?" Elena said happily, "Oh, Dean. Thank god!" There was a pause – "Katherine, if you ever call me again, I'll hunt you down and kill you." Dean growled before hanging up on her.
The elation Elena felt moments before vanished. Her heart sank to her stomach as a lump grew in her throat. Her eyes prickled with tears as she slumped against the counter in the bathroom. Katherine? She thought hopelessly.
Elena gathered her things quietly before blurring downstairs and out to Damon's car. Throwing herself behind the wheel, Elena jammed the key in the ignition before cranking it. Jerking the car into Drive, she sped out of the driveway.
Dialing Sam's number Elena propped her phone between her ear and her shoulder. After several rings, it was answered, "Hello?" Sam said uncertainly. "Sam?" Elena gasped, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Ellie?" He replied warily. "Sam, thank god! I tried to call Dean –" She broke off, sobbing.
"I heard," The youngest Winchester said slowly. "Sam, it's really me. I swear. Ask me anything!" She cried hopelessly. "I believe you," Sam said quietly. "Where are you?" She asked, "Where's Dean?" She heard Sam sigh heavily before shifting as he said, "We're heading to Bobby's."
Elena paused as the light that loomed over her glared an angry red. "Why are you there?" She asked, puzzled. "We're taking a break from working a case." "What case?" "We think it's a Wendigo." "You think?" Elena replied, perplexed. "When have the Winchesters ever guessed?"
She heard Sam utter a wry chuckle, "Well, we've had a lot of practice these days, Ellie." Elena bit her lip, "How's Dean?" Elena heard Sam sigh softly on the other end of the phone before replying carefully, "He's fine. He's Dean."
Elena shook her head before saying slowly, "Of course." "Anyway, I gotta go. Bye, Ellie," Sam said quickly, hanging up. Elena tossed her phone into the passenger seat, shaking her head. Frustration seemed to ooze from her pores.
She slammed her foot against the gas pedal, causing the car to jolt before launching forward haphazardly, the tires screeching against the asphalt. Sam hung up the phone as Dean came back to the car, holding a greasy paper sack.
Dean cast his brother a wary glance before passing him the sack as he climbed into the car. Sam watched as his brother turned the key in the ignition. "I'm not gonna ask," Dean said with a hint of finality. "Really?" Sam replied, surprised. "Normally you hound me until I tell you."
"Yeah, well, I don't care." Dean said tiredly. They drove back to Bobby's in silence. Sam couldn't help the roiling guilt in his stomach. He glanced over at his brother, asleep on the couch. Opening his laptop, he keyed in a search on recent news articles, sighing softly, he rubbed his brow.
He read through them, searching for a sign, any sign, that this might be one of their gigs as the sun started peaking over the horizon. Sam glanced up as he heard a car drive up to the driveway and the engine cut off.
Soon after, he heard a car door open and close then; footsteps approached Bobby's front door. He stood as a knock rapped at the door. Dean stirred before sitting up, "Who's knocking this early?" He asked drowsily. "I don't know." Sam replied quickly answering the door.
Elena stood at the other side of the door, peering into the room. Dean jumped to his feet, anger oozing from his pores. "I thought I told you–" He started, incensed. "Dean," Elena whispered, "It's me." Dean paused, staring at her. "What?" He finally whispered.
Relief washed into his features as he started towards her, extending his hand to stroke her cheek. Elena's eyes widened as she glanced at the bracelet on his wrist, it was filled with vervain. The young brunette cringed away from the plant that was now poisonous to her.
A dark wall came down behind Dean's eyes as his expression darkened. "You're –" he begun. "Dean," Elena whispered pleadingly. "No." Dean ground out angrily, "Elena's dead. I don't even know what you are." He turned and slammed the door in her face.
"Dean," Elena said weakly before turning and sliding down, curling up at the doorstep, leaning against the door. She sat there for what seemed like hours before the door opened. Elena spun, seeing Sam standing behind her. "Hey," She said weakly.
"You okay?" Sam asked, stepping out of the house, closing the door behind him before sitting beside her. Elena shook her head, looking down. "Ellie," Sam began, "He'll come around." "When?" Elena asked brokenly. She heard Sam sigh softly. "I don't know."
They sat there in silence before the door swung open. Dean was looking at Sam before he said, "Come on, Sam. We gotta go." The fact that Dean ignored eye contact with her struck a discordant note in Elena. She stood abruptly and said obstinately, "Okay, let's go."
Sam sighed softly as he stood. Dean grit his teeth. Elena winced as she heard the unmistakable sound of his teeth grinding together. She shook her head as she walked to the Impala, opening the door and sliding in.
She waited in silence for a few moments before she heard Sam and Dean's boots grinding into the gravel driveway as they walked to the car. Dean yanked the car door open with unnecessary force, causing it to whine. "Dean–" Sam began with a frown only to be silenced by a cutting look from his brother.
Elena sighed heavily as Sam slipped into the car. "So," She began irately, "You're just gonna pretend like I don't even exist?" Dean ignored her as he climbed behind the wheel. "Dean!" Elena shouted, causing the hunter to jump.
He spun, emerald hues flashing as he snarled, "What?" The brunette slumped back against her seat as she scowled, "You can't ignore me forever, Dean." "I can and I damn well will." The elder Winchester growled, "Technically, you're dead. So, you don't even exist, right now."
The words hit Elena hard. She felt as though he'd slapped her. He might as well have. Tears stung at Elena's amber orbs, glistening as they rolled down her cheeks. She sat back, her lips trembling as she turned away.
Shaking her head, Elena fished her iPod out of her pocket and unwound the earbuds and slipped them into her ears, clicking a Pink song, she leaned her head against the window. Taking a deep breath, she sang, "I don't know if I can yell any louder. How many times have I kicked you out of here? Or said something insulting? I can be so mean when I wanna be. I am capable of really anything. I can cut you into pieces when my heart is broken. Please, don't leave me. Please, don't leave me. I always say how I don't need you. But it's always gonna come right back to this. Please, don't leave me."
Dean glanced into the rearview mirror, hurt etched into his features. He knew it was 'Lena. But he couldn't bring himself to believe it. Much less, act on it. Elena looked out the window, watching the trees and scenery fly by, breathing out a slow sigh. A faint buzzing drew her attention to her pocket.
She slid her delicate fingers into her pocket, pulling out her cellphone. It was a text from Damon; Where the hell are you? – D. Shaking her head, she felt a churning in her stomach as she keyed in a response; There was an emergency. I'm sorry. I had to leave. – Lena.
Breathing in softly, she tapped the "Send" button and leaned back against the leather seat. The low rumble of the Winchester brothers' voices lulling her into a deeply relaxed state. Her limbs felt limp as her eyes fluttered closed.
All the stress – all the worry, everything that she'd felt for the past twenty-four hours – just melted away. She stretched across the seat and curled into a comfortable position on her side and dozed off. Dean tilted the rearview mirror, glancing into it and observing the girl in the backseat.
Katherine would never sleep like that. She'd consider it – childish? Silly? To reduce herself into an innocent state like that. Katherine? No. But, 'Lena would. Dean couldn't count on the one hand – much less both – how many times he watched over the brunette enchantress as she slept.
Shaking his head, he shoved the mirror back into place, scowling. It wasn't his 'Lena who slept there. That – thing wore her face, had her memories but it wasn't her. 'Lena was human. So fragilely human. Delicate. Like blown glass. She always incited his protective instincts. No matter what.
She was irritating, soothing, beautiful and desirable all at once. Drawing in a deep breath, Dean shifted his focus to the road. A soft buzzing transferred his attention to the phone in Elena's hand. It woke her, causing her to stir.
Dean swallowed as she stretched in an inadvertently provocative way. His hands clenched the steering wheel, his knuckles whitening. Elena sat up, combing her fingers through her auburn locks before she looked down at her phone.
Lena?Damon's perplexed text read, since when do you call yourself Lena? You never answered my question. Where. Are. You? You'd better answer me soon. Or I'm calling you. And you'll never hear the end of it. Hurry up. Vampire Barbie's going to make me deaf. – D.
A heavy sigh fell from Elena's lips as she tapped the text box, her fingers pausing over the keyboard. What was she going to say? "I'm with the Winchester Brothers"? No. "I'm on a hunt"? No. He'd ask what she was hunting and why. And if she told him she was with Sam and Dean, he'd come after them.
She set her phone down and rubbed her temples. What was she to do? Sam noticed her exasperated expression and frowned, "You okay, Ellie?" Elena shook her head, "No. It's just –" Her phone chimed, startling them both. She answered it.
"Where are you?" Damon thundered. Elena's mouth opened, something in her screamed, "Tell him the truth!" Before she could stop herself she said, "I'm with Sam and Dean." Dean slammed on the breaks, jerking the car to the shoulder of the road, swiveling in his seat.
Sam just gaped at her. "What?!" The Winchesters could hear the elder Salvatore now. "I know," Elena started, flustered, "But –" "But, nothing! They're hunters, Elena! You know they hunt our kind! What the hell are you doing with them?!"
Elena's lips parted, "Damon," she said, "I'm sorry." "Sorry?" Damon said, uncertainty seeping into the one word. "I know what last night meant to you, it meant something to me, too. But –" She whispered, tears filling her eyes as her heartbeat quickened.
Every inch of her cried out that what she was about to say was true. But that one part in the back of her mind wailed that it wasn't true. "The reason I left…" Elena swallowed back a sob as she continued, "Was… I wanted…. I needed–"
She clenched her teeth together before looking up at Dean, his eyes were wide, shock written all over his face. The face that she spent many days and nights memorizing. Elena's ochre optics traced the plains of Dean's face before she said in a rush, "Dean… I'm in love with Dean."
A choked gasp was heard from the other side of the phone. Dean's mouth fell open. Elena continued, "I'm sorry, Damon." Tears flowed down Elena's face as she pressed the "End Call" button on her phone. She fell back against the seat, breathing in shuddered breaths.
Elena felt like something inside her was broken. She never wanted to be that girl. She never wanted to feel like this, either. Dean turned away. Elena couldn't see his face, but she was sure there was a frown on it. Sam remained silent as he turned back to the road.
Wiping away the tears, Elena cursed inwardly at the amplified emotions she felt. She felt a burning, raging desirous love for Dean. And then, there was the scary obedience she felt for Damon. Whatever he asked, she did. She could explain the passionate love she felt for Dean.
Elena had been in love with Dean since… she couldn't remember. When they met, it clicked. Like she knew him for years. And the more she got to know him, the more she loved him. He was a hero. He saved people. And he never asked for anything in return.
Underneath his Devil-May-Care façade, he was really a good man. He was everything she could want and more. He was perfect. And it was his flaws that made him so perfect. He freed Elena. With him, she could be herself. She could have it all and be whatever.
She felt suppressed with Damon and Stefan. Elena had to be the damsel for them. They wouldn't have it any other way. But Dean – he unleashed her. He brought out everything she'd hidden from Stefan and Damon. He brought out her self. And that's what he loved about her.
Not because she was Katherine's doppelgänger. But because she was Elena. The fiery, caring, loving girl. And that's why she fell for him. And then, this whole debacle with Damon. Blinking, Elena frowned. She had no memory of how or why it happened. It just did.
And that was what was confusing about it. It had a wrongness about it that made her stomach churn. Shaking it off, Elena turned her attention to Dean. She could see his profile. His stubble. Those high cheekbones. His brow.
Elena's fingers curled on the edge of the leather seat as she imagined what it'd be like to trace his jawline with her lips. Elena's teeth sunk into her lower lip as she turned to the window, trying to push away any and all thoughts about her, Dean and lips.
That's not going to happen; she thought hopelessly, Dean hates me. And Damon hates me. It seems like the only one who likes me is Sam. Elena turned to Sam sadly, only to find him gazing out the windshield. Elena shifted in her seat, gazing out the window, again, dejectedly.
I'm lyin' here on the floor where you left me. I think I took too much.
I'm crying here, what have you done? I thought it would be fun.
I can't stay on your life support. There's a shortage in the switch.
I can't stay on your morphine. 'Cause it's making me itch.
I said I tried to call the nurse again. But she's being a little bitch.
I think I'll get outta here, where I can run just as fast as I can.
To the middle of nowhere. To the middle of my frustrated fears.
And I swear you're just like a pill. Instead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me ill.
You keep makin' me ill.
Just Like a Pill – Pink