I forgot to mention that this takes place during ME2. During the process of writing this, I had full intention of making this a one-shot. However, as I started getting ready to publish it, I decided to go along and make it into a short story. That is why, before this update, there was a line mentioning Legion in the first chapter. For the sake of the timeline, I had to edited that line out only because this takes place just shortly before the Horizon mission during ME2 and they've yet to come across our favorite geth.
With that being said, here's an update I hope you all find pleasing.
Chapter 2: There's a Fire Inside
The first thing that came to mind as she woke up was that her cheeks were burning. Second, was that the ceiling she was currently staring at was not her own. And that was because she had fallen asleep with Garrus in his cabin. And it felt like a flimsy piece of a reality she could not find herself believing. It was just all too surreal for her, but she knew this was not a dream. She really did fall asleep in Garrus's cabin. With him. She fell asleep with Garrus. In his cabin. On his bed. Why wasn't she panicking like she should be? This certainly wasn't within regulations, but she had to remind herself that she was no longer a part of the Alliance, regulations didn't count here.
Shepard wasn't sure what to expect of him when coming to him for support. She wouldn't really say she sought him out intentionally. After she and Dr. Chakwas shared some brandy, her thoughts were some place outside the Normandy. Her feet carried her, and she'd somehow ended standing at the main battery's door. And she stood there for who knows how long before finally stepping close enough for the senors to pick her up and opened the door. And when they revealed the turian standing behind them, she almost started crying right then and there. The important part was that he hadn't turned her away when she did cry in front of him, didn't try to take advantage of her either. He had been her friend in her heaviest time of need. And there weren't enough words in the English language to express her thanks. She needed to find a way to thank him in a turian kind of way. But later, right now, she just wanted the burning on her face to go away.
Shepard recalled the touch of his tongue against her cheek. Of course the feel of something warm and slick gracing her face had been unexpected, but the surprise was worn away after she'd discovered that the act was actually pleasant. Her hand went to caress one of her burning cheeks. It wasn't what she was expecting at all, not that she was expecting anything or even had an idea of what to expect, but the texture had been surprising; it was smooth, very soft, but also thick. Unlike anything she'd ever felt before. It felt good and that was all she could think of to describe it. The first feel of it had certainly been startling, but she could tell that his intentions had been amiable by how hesitant he was to introduce her to the act. And she was in no position to push him away, especially after he had just been so accepting toward her. The whole situation was bizarre, but it was completely normal for him, wasn't it?
The strange thing about it, was that the brushes of his tongue actually managed to help sooth her. As if every lick purified the darkness that was threatening her.
She turned her head to look at the turian resting behind her only to discover that he was already awake, and that those blue eyes had been staring at her. Seeing him back on Omega, he was like a stranger. There was a bitter fire behind those blue orbs of his. She could tell he had been through some terrible incident and was rapidly losing his faith in life. He had turned into a calloused male with a strong opinion on what justice was and how it should be served. But now, as she lay next to him, her head facing him, he looked entirely different. Back into the familiar Garrus who was so eager to help her prove just how deep Saren had betrayed the Council.
I don't know what to do with grey, she remembered him saying. He was learning how to handle 'what' in a very difficult way.
"You okay?" His voice was so very light, feathering into the silence around them.
She remained silent for the most part, letting her eyes roam around his face in observance. He looked tired. He'd been up all night, hadn't he? Watching her back like he always did. She suddenly felt very guilty, and very selfish for not thinking of his needs. Everyone needed sleep, some form of it at least. Yet, she'd kept him up. Shepard hesitated a moment before answering with, "I will be." Her tone was barely above whisper too, just loud enough for him to hear.
There was a foggy memory of Garrus shedding his armor to be in his under suit, but the image itself was a bit too fuzzy for her to rely on it. And she wouldn't allow herself to believe it to be true, if she remembered correctly, Shepard could hear herself begging him not to leave her alone. That image needed to be erased. Now. Shepard turned to lay on her side so that their bodies faced one another and she noticed then that he was indeed down to his under armor. Her tongue slipped among her teeth and she bit down. Something to stop the blush threatening her cheeks, whether it was from embarrassment or not was another story.
He hadn't said anything passed affirming her state of mind. Shepard looked down between their bodies. His left arm tucked underneath her, feeling the shape of it as she focused more. Had they been... spooning? They were lying on top of a twin sized bed which was standard military issue, so it wasn't big enough for the both of them to lie there comfortably without invading each other's personal space. And Garrus didn't seem the type to sleep anywhere but on his bed. Her cheeks burned despite her attempts to hold the blush at bay. Here's hoping that the burning came with a little redness. But, her belly warmed at the vision of Garrus holding her as she cried herself to sleep. No one had done that for her before. Then again, she never really cried in front of anyone before either. But Garrus didn't run away. He remained there, dauntless in his chase to bring her comfort.
Garrus couldn't quite name the feeling running through his entire being as he woke up to her. They were in an embrace that had been loosened by sleep, and he wasn't sure if he should have allowed them to fall sleep on the same bed, but he couldn't find the strength in him to leave her . She'd cried herself to sleep in his arms, it would have been an insult to her if she woke up alone. He certainly wouldn't have wanted to be alone after such a tearful event either. Leaving her alone after she confided in him was no better than rejecting her the moment he saw the tears. And Shepard deserved someone who would always be there for her no matter what.
He'd been awake for hours after she'd succumbed to the lulls of exhaustion. She fell asleep sitting upward, leaning against him. And he had just enough mind left to realize that he was still wearing his armor. He remembered how her grip around his arms tightened when he began to stand up. She protested his leave through her sleepy haze, even if he wasn't going to be long at all.
Please don't go.
I'm not leaving, Shepard.
And she released the death grip on his forearm just so he could remove his armor so that they could fit better on his bed; he certainly didn't have a couch to sleep on and wasn't about to ask Kasumi if he could borrow the one in her room. He circled around his bed after dressing down to his under armor, he pulled the sheets off the bed and gently ushered her to lie back. He threw the sheets over her, knowing that his room had the habit of growing cold during the night and took his rightful spot next to her on top of the covers. She was out the instant her head hit the pillow. And he wasn't quite sure what to think when the red head curled up next to him, but he managed to convince himself that it was probably her body unconsciously seeking warmth. So he threw his arm over her waist and slipped one under her torso, if it was body heat she was seeking, he had plenty.
In those moments, he thought about what had just happened between them. There was nothing sexual in the way they occupied his bed. It was all platonic. The only thing that changed was that the trust they now placed in each other had been upped ten fold, and that he was now aware of how beautiful his commanding officer was. He couldn't blame Kaiden for falling for her, nor Liara for being so fascinated by her. He acknowledged the fact that he had never been the one to lick away the tears on a turian woman's face, was a bit concerned at how quick he was actually to perform the act when the crying woman in front of him, was in fact, a human. And then there was the scent of her. He didn't know enough about human fragrances to pinpoint what it was, but the smell was so feminine. During their introduction, her scent was just as generic as any other human he'd encountered. But now he concluded that the smell held meaning to him, he was able to admit that it was most definitely precious.
There was pride, he couldn't mistake the vast amounts of pride rattling his bones in his success to calm her, to quell her demons, he'd truly been her archangel. But there was also something unidentifiable coursing through his blood at the same time, something that was very foreign to him. One thing was for sure, he found it venerating to be the one who she trusted enough to watch over her as she slept. But even now, he couldn't deny just how beautiful he found her. Their eyes met for the first time since waking up, and he just now barely noticed the freckles across the bridge of her nose and cheek bones, which he thought was just too damn adorable to deny any longer.
"I'm sorry," She whispered, afraid to disturb the peace that wrapped around them so naturally. Unlike last time when she apologized to him, she was able to keep eye contact.
Garrus was the one to look away this time as he noticed the redness on her cheeks, "I'm not." He silently lifted his hand away from her waist to investigate the apparent burn marks, "Shepard, what is this?" He asked. The arm under her slithered out to prop himself back on his elbow as the other went to hold her head still as he inspected the marks.
She flinched when his thumb traced a path along one of the burns, "I'm not sure," She answered, remaining where she was as Garrus hovered over her as he inspected her face, "They're sore, though."
He pulled his hand back from her when she flinched. He didn't mean to hurt her, but he needed to know why her face was turning red. He had licked her there last night. Just how supple was her flesh? Had he misjudged its strength? Had his contact been too rough for her? Granted, turian hide and human skin were on two different levels, that was something he should have considered before pulling the trigger. Maybe licking her hadn't been the right choice after all, but he couldn't recall hearing any protests from the woman in his bed. In fact, he could have sworn she actually encouraged it. And how, deep inside, he actually enjoyed the feel of her soft skin against his tongue. Spirits knew how hard he tried to deny that he actually savored the taste of her. Come to think of it, his tongue was a bit swollen, but he paid no mind to it. His concern over Shepard outweighed his own, "Does this usually happen when humans cry?"
Once those words spilled from his mouth, he immediately regretted them. They sounded calloused to his ears but before he could correct himself, Shepard had began to sit up. He feared she was leaving until she pressed her fingers against her cheeks, "Not really," She responded, wincing at the pain, "Then again, I don't really spend much time crying," Her smile was rather sheepish then.
The weight on the bed shifted once more as Garrus stood up and walked over to the desk lamp. A soft click and the room lit up with a soft amber hue. That was when Shepard realized they had been lying there in the dark together. It was an intimate gesture, she realized. But she hadn't been thinking along those lines whenever it considered Garrus. He was her best friend, and she would be a fool not to notice it now.
"Here," He said softly, offering his hand to her.
She accepted it, and the turian helped her to her feet, leading her to his bathroom. Once the doors opened, they stepped inside and the lights automatically flickered on for them. Garrus held onto her hand has he lead her farther into the room, snatching a small hand towel from the metal hang rack above the toilet with his free hand. She watched him turn the warm water on, circling around only for a moment as he ran a corner of the towel under the warm water. When the water shut off, he was facing her once more with a look in his eyes that made her very nervous.
He offered the towel to her and she took it from him, thanking him before pressing the cotton against her burning skin. The warmness of it all helped sooth the pain, but as she stood there staring at the dripping water from his closed faucet, her mind began to drift away from the caring turian in front of her and back to the demons that pushed her even farther into the darkness. Her mind was suddenly flooded by a whole different kind of pain as she remembered why the turian had been comforting her in the first place. And she tried so hard to keep the sudden turmoil in her hidden. But, either he was really good at reading body language or that what she felt running down her cheeks was not excess water from the towel, because he had placed a hand on her hip and pulled her to him.
He whispered her name, but she could barely hear him as Ashley's voice yelled at her to go save Kaiden; that someone had to ensure that the bomb went off. A sob, her fingers grew numb, the towel fell from her grasp. Her hands lifted to cover her face. And her own voice yelling at Kaiden to save the others as the flames grew stronger, hotter. It was all so fresh in her mind. As if it happened only yesterday, because that's exactly what it felt like. Then Joker yelling for her as they got separated. The feeling of her lungs drying up from the lack of air. How her head felt like it was about to explode. And then how everything went black. Waking up to Miranda's face, as if she'd only been asleep.
She was crying again, and it killed him. He could only imagine what she was going through, what she thought about. He watched silently as her hands went to cover her face, and he frowned, not even for a second would he fancy of the idea of her hiding. The turian reached out gently to wrap his talons around her wrist, gingerly pulling her hands away from her head to replace it with his own as he cupped the side of her face like he had last night. He guided her head to look up at him.
Shepard let her hands fall away when she felt his touch. He tightened his hold around the woman in his arms, pulling her even closer as he nuzzled the crying woman. He would lick the tears away again if he wasn't afraid of inducing more pain on her. He was beginning to hate seeing those trails of water, but only because he knew they meant pain. His nostrils flared when he took in a breath to calm himself, the smell of her delighted him so much that he started to purr. At first he hadn't realized he was doing it, but he remembered his mother doing the same when he was just a child so it had to be right.
Her green eyes widen, her cries came to a slow death when she heard him growl low in his chest. It wasn't quite like a purr coming from a cat, it was deeper sounding and definitely more masculine. But it calmed her almost instantly. She was then aware of his left arm holding her steady from her waist. Her heart was pounding against her chest. He was so warm. There was a sudden wave of bliss that washed over her and she relaxed in his hold. Shepard was very still before returning the embrace as her own arms went to wrap around him.
There was silence between them, but no space. She held onto him, and him to her. The pain of her cheeks forgotten as she was overcome with the peace he granted her. He defeated her demons once more, and she smiled to herself at the idea of him living up to his alias on Omega. Time became an unknown factor as they simply held onto one another, she just knew that her life had never felt so secured before in her life. She had never felt so safe. It was something she wasn't used to feeling, but was more than willing to welcome it with open arms. She could spend the whole day here with him just like this.
Finally, Garrus pulled back from the embrace just far enough to look at her. He didn't ask her anything but his eyes said it all. He was so concerned, and it warmed her heart to see it; to have a friend like him who she could depend on, lean on.
He pulled himself away from her even farther but just long enough to retrieve the towel that she had dropped. And instead of returning it to her, he gently pressed the warmth of the wet fabric against her red cheeks himself as she looked up at him. Her green eyes more vibrant than before, more alive than any other moment since being reunited with her. He forced himself to focus on the task, because there was something odd happening to his stomach when he saw from his peripherals that she had closed her eyes and sighed. Again pride began to swell in his chest and he had to control his mandibles from flaring to express it. But he also had to try to figure out why he was suddenly very nervous and aware of how fast his own turian heart was pounding in his chest.
Despite the inner turmoil boiling in his head, Garrus continued to dab the towel against the redness on her cheeks until she opened those bright green eyes of hers to stare at him. There was something hidden behind her eyes again, and Garrus never wanted to be able to read human body language as bad as he wanted to in that moment.
"Sorry," She whispered quietly, dropping her arms from around him to take a step back, rubbing at her eyes. Seemingly having gotten her emotions back under control.
Garrus only nodded his head in forgiveness, letting her retreat so he could drop the towel in the sink, "Better?" he asked her just as softly after he turned back around to face her.
And just as she went to answer, to thank him, his comm pinged from the desktop on top of his desk. It went off twice, but he hadn't moved to answer it. He remained rooted to the ground, leaning back against the sink as he crossed his arms over his chest, looking at her expectantly. It rang off once more and she took a glimpse back to his room before looking back at him, "Are you gonna-"
"There is something more important than a missed call standing in my way."
She blinked at him, his words leaving her speechless.
"Shepard," He started, exhaling heavily, "I can't just leave without knowing you're going to be okay."
A smile he hadn't seen before blossomed on her face, it let up her eyes, "I'll be fine, Garrus."
He lifted an eyebrow ridge at her.
"Promise," She added, almost amused.
He stared at her for a half of a second longer before leaving to go answer his comm.
She wasn't sure what to make of what happened between she and Garrus the other night, and the following morning was no different. In the past few days, a lot has happened that should be taking her attention, but she couldn't take her mind off Garrus. Everything she did somehow ended with thoughts of the turian. From cleaning her weapons to configuring her barriers. Azure eyes staring back at her when she lay her head down to sleep. And the licking. The feel of his tongue. Everything was platonic, there were no hidden intentions but to comfort, that was clear. But somehow, it had been more intimate than anything else she'd ever done while sharing a bed with a male.
She sat up in bed and forced herself to focus. Okay, Shepard, there are other pressing matters. You are not some high school girl with a crush. You command a stealth ship, and there are lives hanging over your shoulders. You have absolutely no time to think about anything else but the mission.
In recent events, they got a lead on the collectors and traced them to a colony on Horizon. Mordin's counter measure had been a success and they were able to attack the enemy head on without any interruptions from the seeker swarms. Unfortunately, they weren't able to save the entire colony, but they did manage to rescue at least half of the civilians. Not that they were thankful for the act anyway. They confirmed it was the collectors, and EDI proved to be a very valuable asset. In the end, it was the collectors who retreated and that was a victory in her eyes.
She had gone through the entire mission without seeing his face until those last fleeting moments. She knew he was there, the Illusive Man made that clear in the debriefing. But words couldn't explain the wave of relief that washed over her at seeing him. He hadn't been taken. But he pulled her into an embrace, and she accepted. But at the mention of Cerberus, his tune changed and she was suddenly his enemy.
You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed me.
She had never seen anything burn as fast as that. His words hit her, and she was not ready to hear them. How could he be so cold toward her?
Kaiden, you know me. She tried to defend herself, tried to salvage some of the damage. Begged him to open his eyes and trust her. I'd only do this for the right reasons.
But either he hadn't forgiven her for rejecting him the night before Ilos, or that he was truly convinced she was a traitor. Garrus even spoke up as he stepped in and defended her from Kaiden's oral assault. But the loyal Alliance soilder was having none of it. The look in his eyes defined his disgust. He was disgusted with her, and so, he walked away from them. Claimed that she turned her back on him, on her beliefs, when it was he who was doing just that. The collectors were in league with the reapers, if the husks didn't confirm that, she didn't know what did. Kaiden wasn't listening! Her frustration with him grew to a dangerous level and so she snapped back at him. Succumbed to the anger and warned him that the Council would never believe him, that they'd blame Cerberus just like he was.
She regretted it now, but damn did it feel good to say at first. And as bad as his words hurt her, discovering that he was set there to follow a lead on Cerberus had been surprising. And so, when she connected with the Illusive Man after boarding the Normandy, she hadn't been surprised to find out that he had used Kaiden as a pawn to lure the collectors. And it frightened her, having the attention of such a dangerous enemy. They were desperate enough to attack the people she cared for, and because of that, a lot of people were getting hurt. So she warned him never to do it again.
After giving her thanks to both EDI and Mordin, Shepard headed to her cabin. There, she took her boots and socks off, changed into a white tank top that had the 'N7' logo on the right side of her chest and a pair of black boy shorts. During Horizon, it was close to evening but it was already midnight in zulu hours. She had every intention to fall asleep, but there was something very turian that kept her awake. Under her covers, her mind couldn't stay away from Garrus. Shouldn't she be more concerned about Kaiden? About the collectors? Or even doing research on the new dossiers that were sent to her?
There was a soft knock on her door, and she bolted up right to sit up. Her eyes scanned the clock on her nightstand, it had only been thirty minutes since she last checked. Who could possibly be knocking on her door at this hour?
"Shepard?" The muffled voice hit her, and he didn't need to say his name for her to recognize who it was, "It's me, uh, Garrus."
There was something in his voice that sounded needy. That, or she was just hearing things. But she welcomed him in and the doors hissed open through the quiet. She heard his foot steps entering her room before he rounded the corner from her door to her small office space. His eyes scanned the small area, noting her datapads and the small earth hamster that she insisted calling a "space hamster" instead. He remembered when she bought it on the citadel the day they went to meet with Anderson.
"What are you going to do with a hamster, Commander?"
"It's a space hamster, Garrus!" She said it like the response solved all the questions in the universe.
Then, he was staring at her, and Shepard wasn't sure if turians could blush, but she'd imagine that his look would mean that he was. Especially when he turned his head sharply to observe her fish, "Shepard, I can," He coughed, a hand went to fiddle with something along the collar of his under suit, "Come back when, uh... you're proper?"
Her face had never been redder. She'd completely forgotten her state of undress and blushed furiously, pulling the blankets over her chest and buried her head into the material.
He turned around completely, giving her a sense of privacy. He heard the rustling of her sheets the patter of her feet rushing on the metal floor of her cabin and a few drawers opening and slamming shut. He heard her mumble an apology before she cleared her throat for him to turn back around. She was standing awkwardly next to one of her couches, holding her hand out in offering for him to sit down. He noticed she was still barefoot, and for the first time in his life, he saw a naked human foot. He found the look of them to be oddly cute. At least Shepard's were, they were small and dainty.
He took her offering and sat down next to the arm rest. She took a seat on the coffee table in front of the sofa. She sat so that one of her feet were tucked under the back of her knee while the other had been kept flat on the floor, "There something bothering you, Garrus?"
He looked up at her, she was wearing an all black hoodie and matching sweat pants now. He searched her eyes, gauging something before he took in a deep breath and let it out steadily, "Yeah, I wanted to... address something."
"Okay," She answered, something in her voice sounded nervous.
"About that night in my room?"
"Oh." She was definitely nervous.
He sat forward, resting his elbows against his knees, his eyes dropping to look at the floor, "I need to know if-" He stopped himself, his mandibles lowered in a frown, "What are your-" He was struggling to speak what he thought. He'd be lying if he said that he wasn't nervous himself, "What exactly-"
"Garrus," She said suddenly, sliding her foot out from under her knee to rest on the floor. She angled her body to face him, "Is this good or bad?"
He met her eyes, "That depends on your reaction."
There was silence as they looked at each other. He was debating something in his head, and she could tell it left him conflicted. But he moved to sit at the edge of the couch, closer to her. He was reaching for her hand, her heart began to pound against her chest, "Garrus," His name fell from her lips in a breathless whisper. His talons wrapped around her wrist and gently encouraged her to move closer, and Shepard obeyed wordlessly.
"Shepard," He wrapped his arms around her, her eyes widen, her chin propped on his shoulder as he buried his head against her neck, into her hair. She heard him inhale, his grip tightened around her. There was the need she heard in his voice returning in his embrace. Did something happen? He was shaking, she noticed.
Before she could question what was wrong, Joker's voice hailed her over the intercom next to her computer, "Commander, are you there?"
Garrus released her almost instantly. Shepard hesitated, meeting his eyes for a moment before she stood and walked over to the computer, "Joker," She acknowledged through the comm.
"Commander, there's something you need to see."
By now, Garrus stood up and followed her, leaning against the wall of her bathroom and she lifted her eyes to watch him settle into his new spot, "Can't it wait?" She asked as their eyes met.
"No, not really, Commander. You need to get down here."
She was silent for a few seconds longer, "...Ok, I'll be there."
She ended the call as she stepped away from the computer, "Duty calls," She said regrettably, wanting nothing more than to continue their conversation. She fidgeted nervously with her fingers.
He chuckled, stepping from the wall and over to her. He lifted a hand to place it on her shoulder, "You know where to find me." His hand lingered there a second longer than it should have. She saw something flicker in his eyes before he turned to exit her room.
And when her doors closed, a breath of air she hadn't realized she was holding in left her lungs. But she didn't have time to dwell on what may or may not have just happened with Garrus. She could tell there was something important on is mind, and she wanted to investigate. However, when Joker said something was important at- her eyes looked to her clock- one in the morning, then it was important. As much as she wanted to stay, she knew better. Besides, Garrus wasn't going anywhere and neither was she.