A/N: Shoutout to Gabe, I had been toying with this idea and your suggestion made me decide to go for it. Enjoy guys!
"Tellin' me to go and see if there was anything more, Tellin' me to come back home, as if I had another choice"
"Two days in a row with me, Peck! Someone's a lucky duck this week!'
Gail sighed as she tossed her duffel into the trunk, "No need to call yourself an ugly duckling, Oliver," she pouted at him and shut the trunk.
"Ah yes! That's why I love riding with you, Peck." They hopped into the car.
"Don't forget, it's your turn to buy me lunch," Gail put her sweetest smile on display.
It was the twelfth day and Gail was pleased to get a call only a half hour after getting on the road. Stopping for coffee and doughnuts only bought so much time. She could only imagine what Oliver had planned to talk about today, and really, it was all starting to be too much. Her good mood was gone however when she learned what the call was. They arrived at the park and hopped out of the car. Shit. Gail couldn't help but think about how this is where Holly went running in the mornings. The sun beat down on her and her dark navy uniform quickly felt like it was about to burst into flames. A woman had reported being attacked while out for a run and Gail and Oliver went to rope off the scene and try to gather any witnesses who might have seen the attack. Why couldn't Holly be a normally sedentary but safe person? Or treadmills? What's wrong with a good treadmill? The woman had surprisingly gotten herself to the hospital nearby and no one around recalled seeing the attack. Traci and Sam showed up to begin their investigation a few minutes after Gail and Oliver arrived.
"Anybody see what happened?" Sam asked the pair as he surveyed the park.
"Not a thing," Oliver shook his head and slapped his memo book on his thigh. "Most of the people here now weren't around during the timeframe we were given. But they got a couple possible samples off the runner and Hamilton is over at the lab waiting on the results."
"Hamilton?" Traci sounded surprised and a little worried.
"He'll be fine," Oliver sounded somewhat confident, "alls he's gotta do is call us with the results."
Gail rolled her eyes, "you think he's up to that?"
Oliver turned to face Gail, "unless," he pointed a finger at her, "you'd rather hop along to the lab and take his place." A smiled played on his face. He was obviously proud of himself.
"Nope," Gail squeaked out, shaking her head.
Pretty soon the crime scene techs were swarming, taking pictures and stuffing evidence bag after evidence bag. Their days all got worse when dispatch reported a 911 call from another jogger who had just been attacked at the other far end of the park. Chris, Andy, and their rookies were all on their way.
"Peck," Oliver turned to Gail and tossed her the keys to the squad car. His voice was urgent and authoritative, "I need you to run down to the lab and babysit Hamilton."
"What? Why? He just has to tell us what they say."
"If this is the same guy," Oliver made a small circular motion with his head, "which I'm willing to bet it is we need any sort of DNA or record ASAP, and I don't trust a rookie with that. Plus you're looking a little pink," Oliver dabbed at his nose. Gail turned on her heel and slumped back to the squad car. "Have fun," Oliver smiled big and waved goodbye to Gail, "play nice! Got your lunch money?" Gail just ignored him and got into the car.
"Um, maybe just, don't touch anything," Holly cringed as an empty test tube crashed to the floor.
"Oh shit!" Hamilton's mouth dropped open. "I mean, oh shoot! I-uh-I'll clean it up. I'm so sorry."
"Hamilton, is that you?!" Gail called from down the hallway. Great. He was just where she feared he would be.
"Why don't you just take a seat, I'll get it," Holly offered him a smile. Poor guy was a serious klutz. They gave this kid a gun? "Just, take a seat."
Gail walked into the room to find Holly sweeping up the broken glass in one corner and Hamilton sitting on a stool in another. He was the kid who blew this kitchen up just by helping his mom mix the chocolate chip cookie dough. Everything that she had been thinking on the drive over and on the walk in was somehow completely out of her brain. Words, Gail. Say, words. Any words. She looked over at Hamilton, "you're just gonna let her clean up your mess?"
"Oh, uh, of course not," Hamilton rose off the stool, "uh no ma'am."
Holly looked up and smiled weakly at the pair, "it's really okay. I'm basically done." This kid looked like he was about to crap his pants.
Gail turned back to the rookie, "you can't just walk people's lives making messes and expect them to clean it up themselves.
"I know, I uh-sorry who? Who's lives?" Hamilton stuttered.
"People's labs, Hamilton. What if you'd destroyed evidence?"
Hamilton's eyes went wide and he seemed to choke on his words before he finally spit out, "nothing good, ma'am. Nothing good at all, ma'am."
Gail accepted his answer because, well, it was true. "Officer Shaw wants you back at the station. We need as many people answering the tip line as possible."
He nodded, "yes ma'am. Sorry-"
Gail cut him off, "you can run and grab me lunch before you leave though," Gail forced a smile, "sandwich place across the street, I don't really care what you get me, but no-"
"Tomatoes," he nodded, "no tomatoes, ma'am."
Gail looked at him expectantly, wide eyed, trying to coax him to take the hint. He looked at her dumbly. She gently motioned with her head toward Holly, who was now back at the computer screen, taking notes.
"Oh, um, ma'am, I mean, Dr. Stewart, ma'am, can I get you anything while I'm out."
Holly didn't move her head away from the computer but looked up at him over the top of her glasses and smiled, "that's very nice of you Officer Hamilton, but I'm all set." Gail could see it was her trademark smile, but also it wasn't. It was like the knockoff version they sold out of trucks in back alleyways in New York City. She looked back at Hamilton, pierced him with her eyes and motioned for him to continue.
"Uh, really Dr. Stewart, I insist. It's the least I can do. The Department insists," he forced a big smile for her.
Holly didn't take her eyes off her notes, "well if the Department insists you could get me their egg salad on multigrain and an iced tea."
"Super," Hamilton smiled widely and went left down the hallway.
Gail poked her head out the door and called after him, "Hamilton," she pointed to the right.
He turned, "oh, right," and power walked back the direction he came, waving shyly when he passed by the doorway. Gail watched him go, partially wanting to make sure he got out alive, but partially not ready to face being alone with Holly. When he disappeared back through the double doors at the end of the hall she turned back into the room, "so, that was Hamilton," she tried to keep it light because she was pretty sure the room was closing in on her. She couldn't handle heavy.
"So, that was Hamilton," Holly kept her eyes on the computer screen, tracking it with her eyes and taking notes as she went.
Gail felt the need to keep talking, "he's probably going to bring you tuna on white with hot coffee."
Holly chuckled softly, "I like tuna."
Of course she does. Gail mentally cursed Holly for being so easy going and perfect. She was almost gleeful when her phone rang. It was Oliver.
"How's it going over there, Peck?"
Gail groaned, "Hamilton was about ten seconds away from burning the whole place down when I got here." Gail could hear Oliver shout to Sam that he owed him five bucks. "I sent him for lunch and told him to head back to the station to take tips."
"Great. How much longer until we know if this guy's in the system?"
She pivoted the phone away from her mouth, "do you know how much longer until get the DNA results back?"
Holly looked up at the computer screen for a second before answering, "at least another hour, probably about an hour and half, two hours?"
"Thanks," Gail moved the phone back to her mouth, "Oliver, at least another hour, probably more like two."
Gail could hear Oliver sigh, "okay, give Traci or Sam a call as soon as you get the results. Having fun, Peck?"
She rolled her eyes at him even though he couldn't see, "you told me to be here." She could almost hear Oliver smile.
"Play nice."
"Don't think I've forgotten that it was your turn to pay for lunch."
"Miss you, bye, kisses." Gail was certain he had a huge smile on his face. She tried to hang up before the line went dead but he beat her to it.
After only a few more minutes of silence Hamilton showed up to drop off their lunches.
"So, how much longer until we have the results?" He asked with a smile as he placed a brown paper bag next to Holly.
"Probably ninety minutes or so," Holly answered noncommittally.
"Can you rush it?" he asked, "make the computer go faster?"
"Does this look like a Kinkos to you, Hamilton?" Gail eyed him harshly as she ripped open her bag of potato chips.
Holly forced herself not to laugh and smiled up at him, "it's really only got one gear."
"Oh, right," he smiled back awkwardly and then turned to Gail, "so I'll be off to the station, unless there's anything else you need before I go."
Gail shook her head and chomped on another chip. Hamilton skittered nervously out the door. Gail finished off her chips before moving onto the chocolate chip cookie he had gotten her. Not a complete dunce.
"You were right."
"Huh?" Gail looked up at Holly who was still across the room at the computer.
She waved her wrapped sandwich in the air, "chicken salad on white."
Gail snorted and rummaged through her bag. She pulled out her own sandwich and pulled apart the masking tape that was holding down the deli paper. "BLT, no 'T', with turkey and avocado on multigrain. Trade you?"
Holly looked up at her notes, "it's okay, I don't mind."
"You hate white bread," Gail folded the wrapping back up and trust it out in front of her in Holly's general direction. Holly shrugged. "It's got avocado," Gail made a circular motion with her wrist holding the sandwich. Holly didn't look up from her notes but Gail could see her smile so she hopped off her stool and snatched Holly's sandwich off the table and then replaced it with her own. Gail took a bite of the chicken salad as she returned to the stool, "mmmm, bleached flour; my favorite." Holly shook her head form her desk. "What? It is? It's why I have such porcelain skin."
An hour later the computer spit out the results. A name. A repeat offender. Gail called Sam. She didn't want to deal with Oliver or Traci's sass. Holly handed her the report to take back to the station. Gail couldn't take it anymore; the silence was too loud. If she didn't say something all the words she had been keeping in for the past two weeks would spill out. They zoomed by so quickly that she didn't even know what they all were. So she said something. "How do you do it?"
A crooked smiled played it's way across Holly's face, "well the computer does most of the work, really-"
"That's not I meant, nerd," Gail rolled her eyes, "how are you so cool and calm and collected when I've completely sweated through my uniform and been one breath away from puking for the past two hours." And then the smile was gone, Holly's expression went blank.
"Maybe I just have better deodorant than you."
Gail's heart caught in her throat, "Holly, I am so sorry," her eyes pleaded for understanding.
"I know," Holly offered up a closed lip smile.
Gail looked down at the floor and shuffled her feat before looking back up at Holly, "I've always loved you."
"Gail," Holly warned, closing her eyes, and placing her hand on the workbench to her right.
"I should get this back," Gail shook the folder that was in her hand and turned on her heels to head to the door before Holly could see her cry. She stopped herself with a hand on the door frame. "Holly?" Gail turned back and Holly looked up at her. "No running until we catch this guy, okay?" Holly nodded and then Gail was gone.
Gail and Traci watched from the booth as Dov and Chris weaved through the crowd to the dart board. "Five bucks says Dov hits Chris instead of the board by the end of the game," Gail took another sip of her drink but kept her head propped up on her palm. It was the thirteenth night.
"Gail," Traci slappped her hand down on the table in front of Gail, drawing her attention back into the booth, "you've gotta stop doing this."
"I like making stupid bets against my friends. It's fun," Gail took another sip as Traci stared her down; unamused. 'What?"
"I'm totally taking that bet by the way but that's not what I'm talking about and you know it."
"Misery is kinda my thing right now, and I can't really do anything about it," Gail narrowed her eyes and took another sip.
Traci wasn't buying it, "actually Gail, you can." Traci rounded the table and hip checked Gail farther down the booth. Trapped, oh shit. "You love Holly, that's a given, and she loves you," Traci's voice was high and singsongy. "So you need to figure out what you want. Even if you're scared of it, especially if you're scared that you want it." Her voice got calmer and more motherly, "it's okay to want things Gail. That's what life's all about. I loved Jerry, and I lost him. I still love Jerry. But he wouldn't have wanted me to wallow forever, especially since my life has barely just started. He wouldn't have wanted you to wallow or punish yourself, either." Shit. There it was; the Jerry Card. All the sadness, melancholy, doubt, and longing Gail had been feeling for the past couple weeks instantly transformed into shame. She had lived because someone else hadn't, and now she was fucking it up. Fucking up her life, fucking up Holly's life. She was hiding. But Traci wasn't done yet, "you need to figure out what you really want. What you would want if you weren't scared or worried that it won't end up the way you want. Failing really won't be worse than not trying. I failed with Dex, and Jerry and I failed in the worse possible way, but if I could go back I'd do it again. I wouldn't not try. That would be worse than anything I've ever felt." Finished with her speech Traci took a long sip of her wine. Gail couldn't hold the tears in any longer so she threw her head down dramatically onto her arm resting on the table.
"I'll get you another," Traci excused herself to give Gail a moment alone. Public sober crying probably wasn't high on Gail's list of things she wanted to be doing. When she returned Gail was leaning dramatically up against the back of the booth, her head turned up; facing the ceiling. Traci sat across from Gail and slid the drink her way. She had said her piece and Gail could run away now if she wanted to. Gail held her glass with two hands and stared into it. She asked Traci, "what if...after everything...I decide that is was I want...and she won't take me back? I ruined everything. Per usual," Gail didn't look up, afraid that facing Traci might mean facing a horrible reality.
"Gail," Traci's sassy voice was back, "did you really not listen to anything I just said? Not trying will be worse. One step at a time, you're tripping yourself up."
"Tellin' me to go and see if there was anything more, Tellin' me to come back home, as if I had another choice"
- Donovan Woods "Put On, Cologne"
A/N: I love hearing what you guys think about this! It's complicated right? But that's kinda the point...keep 'em coming!
Who's ready to meet Froelle's baby? That's not all that's happening next chapter though...