Whew! I'm so glad that I finally got this finished!
I've realized that the Hiccup in my story should probably be quite a bit more awkward than he actuall is in 'Race to the Edge', which is the Hiccup I'm basing this fic on. Unlike movie!Hiccup, he hasn't been down the same road that turned him into a capable and confident leader. The potential is surely still in there, much like it had been in Hiccup in the first movie, but unlike the movies, this Hiccup hasn't had the chance to build such a confidence in himself yet. So I should probably try to write him a bit more awkward as I continue with this story.
Also someone has brought it to my attention that I use hair colours as descriptive traits a little too often. So I will try to bring it down a notch. :)
What Friendship Can Do: Chapter 5 - Those Few Precious Moments
The days following that which Hiccup still called a disastrous raid, life on Berk continued on as lively and loudly as ever. With losses kept to a bare minimum, the Hairy Hooligans saw no reason not to carry on as jovial as ever, thanking the Gods for such a prosperous time. It was the best they had ever known.
Winter was only a weeks away now, but if they could fight off the dragons like this every raid, there might be no need to ration what food they might end up having when the snow inevitably arrives.
It will come eventually and when that day comes it could bury them for sometimes even days afterwards. That the infernal beasts didn't come during a large portion of that season did surely help.
The Berkians were given cause to drink and laughed hours into the night in the Great Hall, neighbours and friends greeted and conversed as loudly as their voices could carry, work was accomplished faster and with even more vigor than before. Not even the Thorston twins' infamous shenanigans could ruin their especially good mood.
Just seeing such joyful people would be enough to make anyone a happy individual.
There was still that one person in their village who found himself unable to enjoy the lighthearted atmosphere as much as everyone else was, but even he could enjoy a blissful moment or two.
Hiccup Haddock once again worked in his mentor's forge, like he always did with little complaint. He created what was commissioned and paid for or repaired whatever would find itself in his care. Today that was Astrid Hofferson's beloved axe.
What once belonged to her mother had been given to her long ago when the girl first entered Dragon Training. It wasn't anything too fancy, but it was strong, it had felled many trees whenever Astrid trained in the forest on the outskirts of town, and it was durable. It was also her most prized possession.
She walked with that thing wherever she went. Even when there were no dragons to slay and she was simply on a casual visit with a friend was she still seen with her trusty axe at her side. She loved it and would not trade it for anything in the world. Wherever she may go, her axe would be there too.
Hiccup understood this and it was part of the reason why he handled this particular weapon with such care. The main one was simply because it belonged to her, to Astrid, his best friend and longtime crush.
That was something nothing and no one could change, not even that damned Night Fury. His feelings, for the young warrior who had given him her friendship when no one else would, would forever stay the same.
"Thank you so much, Hiccup. You're a lifesaver." Astrid was still here, watching him ready the dulled blade of her axe to be sharpened on a whetstone as she spoke with such gratitude. If there was anyone she could entrust with her most valuable possession, it was him.
"Ah, don't mention it. Obviously I'm always glad to do a friend a favour." The smile Hiccup gave her was clearly a forced one and it looked strange on his pale features, but she knew that it didn't make his words any less genuine. If anything, he was trying to put up a pleasant front rather than show her the grim expressions she's still not used to seeing on his face.
These were the moments with Hiccup she cherished the most.
No obsessions driven by vengeance and pride, no shallow and conflicted bullies, no dark thoughts. Just her, Hiccup, and a blessed kind of peace in the air.
These were the moments she lived for.
The sound of metal grinding on stone reached her ears, quite a noisy sound, and brought her back to the present. Hiccup was sharpening her weapon with practised ease and experience with his work told her she could expect it back just as good as before, if not better.
Losing an eye had made work at the forge a little more difficult for some time with the loss in depth perception, but he had managed to work splendidly despites the many restless nights spend stubbornly trying to improve his skills to become as good as they once were. Now the Hofferson family axe was once again in capable hands.
While he worked, Astrid entered the forge and, mindful of the blacksmith at work, took a look around. Unlike most patrons who left as soon as business was concluded, she often liked to stay for a chat.
"I haven't seen Gobber yet in the forge today. What's he up to?" Astrid had to shout in order to be heard.
"I have no idea. He told me yesterday I should open up the forge because he had something or other to do before he could come in for work." Without even bothering to stop the grinding did Hiccup reply back to her, shrugging at her question.
"You think it may have something to do with the meeting the chief called for this morning?" Astrid asked and leant against a counter, her slender hands gripping onto the wood behind her as she brought up this curious topic. Behind her hung a variety of still unused shields, including some of his own unfinished products.
He gave her an affirming grumble that either sounded like 'uh-hu' or a slightly more dismissive 'yeah, probably'. She couldn't quite tell.
"Is it about another expedition for the Nest? Did your dad mention anything like that?" As if something she said suddenly annoyed him did the grinding briefly stop and Hiccup seemed to visibly contemplate weither to respond or not before shaking his head to himself and continuing with his work.
Whatever he had to say during that one moment of thought, it was apparently not worth saying.
His back was turned to her and still she could read him like a book.
"Hiccup." She pried. It wasn't the best idea, but Astrid Hofferson wasn't one to back down. So she could only hope prying wouldn't bring an end to this blissful morning so abruptly.
At least Hiccup seemed to be in a talkative mood today.
"You mean a father and son are supposed to talk to eachother? Why Astrid, where did you ever get that idea?" And with that sarcastic remark was the pleasant moment over.
"That's a painful kind of sarcasm." She commented with her arms crossed and not hiding the glare she send his way.
Hiccup felt a sudden cold chill, though he wasn't quite sure what for.
The sharpening of the axe took another short pause as a pair of mismatched eyes took the liberty to look at the girl from over his shoulder and confirm that Astrid was indeed glaring at him.
It left a bad taste in his mouth. One he couldn't quite swallow. So he sighed and gave her a different response instead.
"No, my dad hasn't mentioned anything like that to me. But Winter is coming and that means he usually tries one last time to find the Dragon's Nest. So yeah, the meeting is probably about that." He settled for that, speaking quite monotonous.
"Now can we please talk about something else? I'd rather not think about the upcoming expedition." Hiccup asked, unintentionally letting something slip he had never intended to express.
Astrid, of course, caught on quickly.
"And what's so special about it?"
Hiccup looked up from his work, taking the axe head from the whetstone to test its sharpness.
"Huh?" He gave her a questioning glance. His right eye might not work anymore, but at least his eyebrow still did. It helped create an expression that was still so typically him.
"Your dad's been on other journeys to the Nest, but you're bothered by this one in particular. Why's that?" The young woman asked, though she had a feeling Hiccup won't immediately answer her with the truth.
"Aren't we all when our parents are off fighting dragons and their kids are left behind to fend for themselves with no way of knowing if said parents will ever return?" Just as expected, Hiccup would rather lie than reveal what he truly thought.
And he was so bad at it too. He could barely put any honesty behind his words.
"Hiccup... What is really bothering you? Tell me." Astrid felt no shame in putting some force in her demand.
With another sigh did the apprentice turn towards her, handing the newly sharpened axe back to its owner.
"Astrid... I know it's frowned on to talk about feelings and fears and such in a Viking community, but I'm so sick and tired of letting this... this..." Fists clenching, Hiccup struggled to find the right words to use.
"... Trauma?" Astrid filled in carefully, her eyes full of compassion.
The little girl who fought and trained relentlessly to be a shieldmaiden for so long and who tried to abandon anything she felt was trivial compared to her ultimate goal in life was still in there and kicking, but she had also learned by now that feelings was something no one could repress for long.
Vikings, though they did not like to admit it out loud, still had hearts. And some were more fragile than others.
So while the want to protect her village and fellow tribesmen was still her main drive, emotions were no longer a burden to her.
At least in front of Hiccup, arguably the most sensitive Viking in the Barbaric Archipelago, she dared to show what she really felt.
That was something you could do in front of a good friend, right?
Hiccup's shoulders dropped as she nailed it right on the head. He may dislike that word, but it was what he suffered from.
Doesn't mean he will speak of it, of course.
"The point is, a couple of days ago I figured out that there is only one way to rid myself of my fear of dragons." He continued and braced himself for what he was about to say.
"And that is?" Astrid decided to ask, even though she had a feeling she wouldn't like what rolled off his tongue next.
"W-well..." Stuttering. This definitely wasn't a good sign.
"Hiccup." Like a strict mother she demanded to be told what was on his mind.
"I need to face a dragon. Ah-a real dragon. I can only get rid of this fear by facing it head-on, the good old fashioned way." He spoke quickly, stumbling over a word or two as the stuttering he tried so hard to banish returned.
The warrior before him stared at him. Her eyes wide, mouth agape slightly, and the grip on her axe faltering.
Instantly she grew furious.
"You?! Facing a dragon alone, are you serious?!" Her voice raised an octave or two as she started shouting. Weither or not anyone heard them was none of her immediate concern.
"I know it's-it's a bit crazy, but-"
"'A bit crazy'? Hiccup, you can barely step outside of your house during a raid without collapsing!"
"Now hold-hold on. 'Collapsing' isn't exactly what-"
"You freeze up, turn yourself into an easy meal, can't fight back even when a Monstrous Nightmare comes diving down for you in a blaze. And you want to go out there and face them without help?! Are you insane!" That last declaration was stated more than it was asked.
Hiccup decided not to respond, having been cornered against the grindstone when a steaming Astrid had strided towards him in an intimidating way with her gleaming axe still in hand during her tirade.
"Uh..." He hesitated. Hiccup wasn't sure if he should keep staring into those beautiful eyes filled with blue fire or the deadly weapon she held ready, which was as natural to her as breathing by now.
It was probably against his better judgement, but he decided to speak up again now that Astrid was silently fuming instead.
Placing slender, but well-worked, hands on her shoulder, Hiccup got her to take a step back and out of his personal space. The young woman seemed to relax just a tad under his touch.
"I never said I would be alone, Astrid. I-I have been touchy about the next expedition because I want to join my father and the others." Even now she still wore that look as if he were suddenly speaking in foreign tongues or grew a second head out of nowhere.
"I'd have dad right there to help me. And isn't making sure that I'm safe what you both want? I'll be surrounded by Vikings there to begrudgingly keep me from harm. Totally safe!" He needed this to work. Needed to have someone look at him and tell him that maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.
Otherwise...
Hiccup can't imagine for how much longer he can let these merciless creatures keep him hostage before he'll break for good.
Astrid was quiet and for a long, agonisingly silent moment it was almost as if she considered it.
The truth was, it was hard for her to ignore such desperate longing in those lonely, lost eyes.
Her own blue ones gazed downwards when she felt his hands move down her arms to take hers instead, though her axe was still in a tight grip.
His were warm. Calloused from years of hard work, but so warm all the same.
Averting her eyes from the young man, Astrid quietly took her hands back and turned away from him.
The message was clear.
No.
"Astrid, please." Hiccup had always been a sensitive person, the complete opposite of his father, but the sheer emotion in those two words were enough to make her heart throb.
Yet, her mind held no doubts.
"I... I need this, Astrid. Maybe if I can have just one person to tell me that I'm not absolutely insane to think of such a plan... You know, someone to support this and help me convince my dad?" She stayed silent even despites his honest confession of what he truly wanted.
"Please... Let me have this. I need to redeem myself. I need control over my life back. Don't let them take everything from me for good." Even Hiccup wasn't one to beg, that was something a Viking just wasn't supposed to do, but he lowered himself to this last-ditch effort to convince her to help him.
His father, Stoick the Vast, believed in her and her skills. He valued her oppinion as a capable warrior of Berk, though young as she was. He would be inclined to listen to her.
Without her by his side, he wouldn't have a single chance in Hel to persuade the Chief.
Astrid stayed silent and unmoving as the very stone statues guarding Berk out in the open sea from enemy ships.
Hiccup relented and gave up. Resigning himself to the fact that not even she would stand by him on this.
If she wouldn't help him, than who on Berk would still willingly do so?
The silence inside forge dragged on and grew intenser with every passing second. Neither boy nor girl knew what to say. Discomfort reigned supreme.
Growing increasingly more uncomfortable, Astrid sought for something to break this quiet tension in the air and she felt herself be taken to the back, leaving the tall defeated form of the former heir behind for just a moment. Its secrets had been revealed to her long ago even before she made her offer of friendship to a barely recovered boy.
Even in the dark her keen sight fell on the several blueprints still hanging on the walls and lying on the desk inside of Hiccup's private little room. Her slender fingers traced the paper and over the charcoal lines drawn with care and precision such a long time ago.
It was almost taboo for Hiccup's 'phase' to be talked about in Berk. All those barely tested 'projects' he used to conjure up in that odd mind of his always seemed to bring more destruction to them that it did to the dragons they were supposedly to be used against. Some may have even once accused the boy for siding with the enemy because of these devices.
A mutually shared breath of relief had left them all when they came to the careful realisation that Hiccup was no longer inventing. That was something the Night Fury 'fixed' too.
No longer would their houses, their docks, their defenses, their cattles, or their fellows suffer from his insane contraptions.
And yet, a part of Astrid had often thought it was a pity he had stopped.
She had seen the destruction caused by his clumsy hands too, but she had also seen what he had truly intended to do with his creations.
As a young girl she may have never stopped the public ridicule that followed each failure, but she never condemned his actions and ideas either.
They weren't all that bad. Not everything that left the boy's mind was meant for destruction and it always seemed to her like those were the ideas he should've shown his father.
Not the ones that made him look like a man born to kill dragons, but the ones that showed he was an inventor, someone who looked towards a better future for Berk.
"It was just a long and exhausting phase." People had said and thus it was no longer talked about.
But looking at those plans now and wondering what this older, smarter, more experienced Hiccup could do with them, Astrid couldn't help but let her mind wander.
A glance at his slightly hunched form still standing at the whetstone gave her all the courage she needed. Her peers and elders would look down on her for ever trying to put her faith in something so dangerous, would ask her why she just couldn't let sleeping dragons lie, but growing older has taught her that sometimes the oppinions of others shouldn't matter.
Isn't that what becoming an adult is all about? Making your own decisions despites what people might say about them?
Astrid supposed so.
"Hiccup, why don't you start inventing again?" She called out as she left the backroom, his disorderly stacks of paper whisked from the desk and now in her possession. And, well, that certainly drew his attention again.
"Inventing?" He asked, perhaps in a more mocking tone than he had previously intended.
"Yes, inventing. You were pretty good at coming up with all sorts of strange ideas. Why not take another look at them?" Astrid asked as she skimmed through the papers she had taken without permission.
"Yeah, sure I was. That's why everyone was suddenly so much more relaxed to see me set a single foot outside when I finally stopped." The amount of sarcasm in the apprentice blacksmith's voice was indescribable as he searched for what was next on the list of repairs.
Gods, another tool for Mildew as listed. What does that man do with his tools to break them so quickly?
Seems like the blueprints she took will come in handy after all.
Astrid searched for one that might try and spark his interest a little.
"How about this unfinished fire prevention system? That could come in hand with the raids." Hiccup listened for just a moment before shaking his head again and muttering something inaudible as he threw a bend sword on the newly heated coals.
Astrid wasn't entirely certain she wanted to hear what he was saying when he talked to himself.
But she continued.
"You know, it doesn't look all too bad. If we could just find out where and how we could get the water..." A quiet Hiccup simply grabbed the hot sword once the metal was malleable enough and brought it over to the anvil to be straightened with not a single word of response to her.
The young woman did not let his unresponsiveness bring her down and simply searched for her next attempt amongst the pages.
She skimmed and skipped until finally she settled on this design of a shield hidden within the stack. Lingering on it for a little while, the design of the darkest dragon she had ever seen made her ignore this particular project in the end.
The sound of a hammer hitting metal reached her ears and briefly did she glance back at the blacksmith at work.
Hiccup was hitting that poor sword with such force that Astrid worried it might break.
It looked like he was venting his frustrations.
Did he do this very often?
Astrid soon came to realize the sound of his old papers being searched through seemed to rub him the wrong way.
"You know what? I saw Snotlout listening in on our conversation just now. Can't you bother him instead?" Hiccup stopped his work just to tell her that and he wasn't lying, he had seen an awfully familiar broad shape ducking away just then, but it was still harsh, especially coming from him.
He seemed to realize that too very quickly after his demand for peace and a break from her had rendered the shieldmaiden behind him speechless.
The hammer fell from his grasp to the floor with a muffled thud as he quickly spun around on his feet to face a startled Astrid.
"Oh Gods, Oh Thor! I'm... so sorry, Astrid. I never... I don't want you too... I would never..." He seemed eerily similar to the young boy she once knew as he tried to find the right words to say.
His expression of regret said enough. 'Me and my big stupid mouth!' it seemed to say.
With Hiccup you could trust him to wear his heart right on his sleeve. It made it easy for anyone who knew him at least a little to tell if his apologies were genuine or not. It was why Astrid could shrug his minor outburst away.
"Anyway..." She started to get her topic of choice back on track, though speaking in a considerably colder tone now.
Or she would've continued and Hiccup would've reluctantly resumed the repairs of the sword after his botched apology went unanswered, but then a deep blue gaze caught itself staring at unnervingly familiar sketches she had seen only once or twice prior to today.
The Night Fury.
No matter where and no matter when, it was still there. It followed him like a shadow, taunted him without end, and kept him hostage.
Astrid felt an anger well up while she stared at the drawing as if it was the real deal standing before her.
This was it. The creature without mercy or conscience that ruined the life of someone young well beyond repair.
What was but a mere picture of a monster stirred so many unwanted emotions within her.
As a Viking she felt offended. As a warrior she wanted to tear it apart. As his friend she wanted to protect him from that which had wronged him so terribly.
Astrid became aware that Hiccup was watching her, occasionally glancing down at the bundle of pages in her hand. It was like he could see right through them and knew exactly what she was looking at.
She decided to be as blunt as ever.
"You still have these." It was a statement, not a question as the sketch was held up for him to see. She wasn't looking for an excuse because there should be none.
At least none that would satisfy her.
"Uh, yeah..." Now he was the one avoiding her gaze and moving his weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably, unable to stand still. It was like he got caught doing something wrong.
"You want me to get rid of them?" The girl asked, eyeing the coals still burning off to one side from the corners of her eyes.
"No, it's fine. I'll burn them myself." Hiccup spoke dismissively as he tried to get back to work. Or just turn away from her and stare empty-handed at the cooling sword on the anvil in front of him.
Not that he hasn't tried to throw those away before, of course.
Astrid sighed and with a quick few steps placed the stack on the desk where she had found them in the first place. Her back now turned to him aswell.
"I only want you to be safe. You know that, right?" It was almost as if that question came out of nowhere.
Hiccup was startled and unprepared to answer. He could only stare at her back as he attempted to come up with an answer.
Instead it stayed quiet.
"Alright, 'Iccup! I'm 'ere! What does Mildew want repaired today? Oh 'ey, Astrid! Come to visit yer good friend, 'Iccup?" The loud and heavily accented voice of Gobber accompanied the Viking hobbling into the forge on one real and one fake leg. His cheery smile once again present on his features as he attempted to tease his apprentice.
Honestly, was there anything strong enough to wipe it off?
Hiccup, at the very least, hoped not. It would be wrong to see Gobber without his usual jovial self.
But as was one of the blacksmith's least lauded traits, he was observant and caught on to the tension between the two teens.
"Did I walk in on somethin'?" The burly Viking asked with an eyebrow raised, leaving no room for these two former dragon training students of his to undermine the authority he still held over them.
"No, not really. We were actually finished talking." It wasn't a lie. Astrid doubted she could spring another confrontational conversation with Hiccup today again.
Gobber seemed to let it go as he shrugged and didn't speak up again while he moved to the long list of work for that day, but it was obvious that he might pester either one of the two for it later.
But before then, Astrid decided to leave the forge.
"I should probably go. My mom asked me this morning if I could help her with the household for today. Will I see you later at dinner in the Great Hall, Hiccup? You'll probably have to sit with Snotlout and the twins, but they won't be a problem." Spinning on her heel to ask this one last question, Astrid gave him a small smile that told him there were no hard feelings after another unpleasant conversation.
Hiccup's good mood seemed to be making a comeback.
"Nah, not today. As hilarious as it is to watch the twins try to get between Snotlout and a bowl of mutton after you tried it once, dad expects me home for dinner. He might get worried when I don't show up." He answered and for once his father's overprotective behaviour did not spark a sense of bitterness within him.
His smile, though perhaps the most out of relief that he didn't lose this precious friendship he had with his crush, grew a little bit more honest.
"Okay, fine. I'll see you tomorrow!" Astrid told her final goodbyes as she left the two blacksmiths.
Hiccup watched her go until the blond vanished from sight, feeling slightly saddened that he couldn't be better company for her.
And then there was Gobber.
"So... What were the two of you really talkin' 'bout?"
Fifteen year old Hiccup does seem to have a little bit of a temper. So I don't believe a minor outburst here and tehre would be too far-fetched.
And yes, Toothless will come in due time.