Thanks for all the good reviews! Enjoy the next Chapter.

Chapter 13: Starts with Goodbye

Later that day, Lexie once again left the hotel and drove through the wet streets of rainy Seattle until she ended up in front of her parents' house. Sitting in the car she watched for any movement, then called the phone number to see if her Dad was home. When he didn't pick up the phone, she left the car and moved toward the back of the house where they hid the spare key and made her way in through the back door. Listening for her dad, she quietly went through the kitchen and then up the stairs to her old room and was surprised to find that all of her old stuff was still there, since she had thought her Dad would have packed it all away by now. Kneeling down she reached under the bed and pulled out an old photo album and began pulling out a few of the family pictures to take with her, then made her way over to the bookshelf and pulled out a book of poems, her mom had given her for her 16th birthday. Looking inside at the front cover, she smiled at her mom's handwritten note wishing her a Happy Birthday and placed the pictures inside before putting it into her purse. Moving to her desk, she took a piece of paper and began writing a letter to her Dad about how her life had been after her mom had died. She went on to write about her complicated relationship with Meredith and how happy she was to be a part of her life, then finished by saying that she loved him and hoped the he and Meredith could become family again. Folding it, she put it in an envelope and placed it in the desk drawer, knowing that eventually her dad would have to pack up her stuff and would find it. She hoped it would give him closure. After leaving the house, she drove to the cemetery to visit her mom's grave; once there she made her way through the rain to their family plot and was shocked to see a new tombstone placed next to her mom's. It was her tombstone! It read: Alexandra Caroline Grey, Beloved Daughter and Sister, Taken from us far too soon, may you soar among the Angels; then her date of birth and death. Looking at the Epitaph, she wiped the tears from her face and read it again until she realized that today was her 28th birthday, with so much going on she had forgotten. Moving to the left of her tombstone, she knelt down to place her mother's favorite flower, Carnations on her grave.

"Oh Mom, I wish you were here… there's so much I need to talk to you about… the crash, this new life. I can't be here anymore, so I'm leaving the country to start my residency over again at a new hospital. I've decided that I like Neuro, so I'm going to stick with that as my specialty and maybe branch out to become a Pediatric Neurologist, but we'll see…. I've got a few more years to decide." Standing up she wiped the wet leaves off the top of her mom's headstone. "Well I'm going to go, I love you Mom. I'll try to stop by before I leave." Then she turned and went back to the car to head back to the hotel to change out of her wet clothes before driving over to Meredith's house, she needed to see her sister and make sure she was okay.

Driving onto Meredith's street around 12 PM that night, Lexie parked several houses away and made her way toward the two story home, hearing the garage door open, she hid behind some bushes and watched Derek make his way to his car with a sleeping Zola in one arm and his cell phone in the other. With her enhanced hearing, she could make out part of his conversation.

"April? Yeah, it's Derek…Sorry I'm calling so late; look could you watch Zola for the night? Well I just got a call from the police saying that Meredith was arrested for being drunk and disorderly at a bar…..no, not Joe's… some other place down town." He listens to April's response while strapping Zola into her car seat. "Yeah, I suspected she was going to go out and drink…..Today was Lexie's 28th birthday….. Yeah, it's been rough, I think it's finally hit her that Lexie's not coming back…. No, she is still refusing to talk to Dr. Wyatt…. Okay, I really appreciate it; I'll be there in 10 minutes. Bye." Hanging up the phone, Lexie watched as he got into his car and backed out of the driveway. With her enhanced eyesight, she could see the cast on his left hand and how haggard he looked, then saw her beautiful niece sleeping peacefully in her car seat; she was getting so big! It filled her with sadness to see how much her family was suffering due to the plane crash.

Moving out from behind the bush, she found where they hid their spare key and stealthy made her way into the house, then up to the attic to her old room. She was again surprised that everything had remained untouched; nothing had been moved since that morning 6 weeks ago when she had hurriedly gotten ready for work. Going over to her dresser, she began rummaging through the drawers until she found a shoebox and went to sit on her bed. Opening it, she reached inside and began to lay the pictures and memorabilia over the bedspread to sort through them. Tears ran down her cheeks as she lovingly picked up each item to look at it before returning what she didn't want to keep back into the box. Two hours later, she packed up the photos and jewelry that she was going to take into her purse and returned the box to the dresser. Walking down the stairs from the attic, Lexie began going through each room trying to memorize everything before she left, when she heard the garage door open. Running back up to the attic, she quickly jimmied the window open and was about to make her way outside when she heard Meredith and Derek arguing downstairs.

"Damn it, Meredith! This has got to stop! You need help, but you won't let anyone in! If you don't want to talk to me then at least talk to Dr. Wyatt or anyone for that matter! What you're doing is affecting our family; Zola can sense everything you are feeling and she doesn't understand this dark and twisty mommy. I know how hard it was for you today and tomorrow with Mark…well, he's my brother and I have to watch them take him off of life support…..we all hurting Mere, but we can do this together. You just have to let me in."

"Derek, just leave me alone!" Meredith slurred, obviously very drunk. "You don't know… you can't possible know…she didn't need to be on that plane!" she continued erratically. "He's here, you can say goodbye…..there's a body and you will know where he'll be buried! But my sister….there's nothing!"

Lexie could hear a cabinet drawer opening and a clink on bottles hitting each other.

"Meredith you don't need any more to drink; give me the Tequila!" yelled Derek.

"No! It's mine…Leave me alone!" She argued drunkenly.

"Fine, just stay home if you're going to drink more…. I'm too exhausted to deal with you right now." A few minutes later Derekk and Meredith's bedroom door opened and slammed shut. After hearing what had transpired downstairs, Lexie decided that just seeing Meredith wasn't going to be enough, she had to talk to her sister and try to help her somehow. An hour later, just as she was about to make her way downstairs to the living room, there is a creak on the stairs and stumbling footsteps making their way down the hallway, then without warning the Attic door opens and Meredith stumbles up the stairs. Quickly, Lexie moves into the shadows near the back of the attic and watches Meredith sit on the bed and reach over to turn the lamp on that's next to the bed. The light causes her to pull her arm back to cover her eyes and she knocks over the picture frame sitting on the night stand, picking it up she squints at the picture of Lexie holding a smiling Zola. A sob rises in her chest as she runs her finger along Lexie's happy face.

"Happy Birthday," she whispers, "I miss you, Lexie."

Unable to watch, her sister in pain, Lexie begins to move towards her.

"I miss you too, Meredith."

Startled at the familiar voice, Meredith turns toward the sound and watches as her sister comes into the light. 'She looks so beautiful, like an angel', she thinks to herself.

"I know you're just a hallu..Hallucination from the alco…. Alcoh…..from the drinking." She slurs. "But I…. I don't care…I need to say that I'm so… sorry." Meredith stutters as she begins to sob harder.

"I'm sorry I…I….I'm such a b..bad sister, that I….I… wasn't there for you when you needed me the most… when you died…. I was so worried about D…Derek that I…. I couldn't think…maybe if I had stayed…"

"No, Meredith!" Lexie interrupts as she steps closer into the light. "I understood what was happening, it wasn't your fault…there was nothing any of you could have done to save me. You're not a bad sister….you're my Big sister and I Love you so much that it hurts me to see you like this." Lexie wants so desperately to take Meredith in her arms to comfort her, but knows to do so would reveal that she was not a hallucination.

"Mere, I'm okay and you need to get past this. They need you; Derek and Zola need you to be the person you were before the crash. You need to be the happy, loving person who would drag her husband up the stairs in the spur of the moment or the mommy who would blow raspberries kisses on her daughter's tummy to watch her squeals of happiness. And I need you to be a big sister to Molly and a daughter to our Dad."

"I….I can't!" Meredith interrupts as she sobs harder. "It hurts so much…. They can't find you… they can't find your body… I can't say goodbye!" she shuts her eyes and wraps her arms around her waist to stop the pain.

"Meredith, look at me." She demanded and watches her sister open her eyes. "You can say goodbye. My body is not important… I'm not there anymore… I'm here with you, right now. Tell me what you need to say."

"I was so stupid…. That first day when you came to work… I should have taken you in my arms and gave you a hug the minute you told me I was your sister. And I….I should have stepped in to help you when you w….w..were struggling with your.. our dad, but I stood back and watched, thinking that I was better than you. But I was never the better sister; you didn't give up on me until one day I realized that I liked being your big sister. You made me love you and now I've lost you….. It hurts so much to breathe…. It hurts so much to live without you." She sobbed harder then put her hand to her head and began to lie down in Lexie's bed and closed her eyes. "My head hurts." She mumbled.

Moving closer to the bed, Lexie can see that a hung over and exhausted Meredith has worn herself down and is starting to fall asleep. Picking up the afghan blanket from the foot of the bed she gently places it over her sisters shivering body and softly brushes her hair away from her face.

"Lexie?" she mumbles.

"Yes, Meredith?" Lexie replies.

"I love you." She whispers sleepily.

"I love you too." Lexie says while still stroking her sister's hair, and then stands up knowing it was time to leave. "Goodbye, Meredith."

"Bye… Lex." Meredith mumbles and begins to snore. Smiling sadly, Lexie bends down to place a gentle kiss on her sister's forehead then walks to the attic window. Opening it, she climbs onto the roof, then looks back to the sleeping woman.

"You're a good sister, Meredith Grey." She says quietly and watches her sister smile in her sleep. Closing the window, she jumped down and made her way back to the car. It was now time to help Mark.