A/N: Hey all! Here's another update! I'm surprised I got this out relatively earlier than my previous updates, but I wanted to because my school schedule for the next few weeks is going to be crazy. This chapter is sort of a filler of what is to come but I hope you guys like it anyways. Let me know if you do in a review! Happy reading!
A/N 2: I also just wanted to point out that we finally got a Will/Rachel scene in lasts night glee episode! Who else was happy about that?
Will woke up early the next morning. The sun was just starting to peak through Rachel's bedroom window and he had to squint his eyes to avoid the light. It had to be no later than 6:00 o'clock, but to him, that didn't matter. He was used to little sleep with being a teacher and working on the panel. Early wake up times didn't mean anything anymore.
He slowly got up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, careful not to be too loud. He sat there for a moment and contemplated what he was really about to do. The previous day had made him do some serious thinking not only about his current position, but about his future.
Rachel's secret confession towards him put their situation in a new light that made him question his feelings towards her. She had confessed that if he cared for her, she would be with him. He, for some reason, couldn't wrap his mind around that thought. He was perplexed at the idea of how she could be so sure that he was the one for her when she was only eighteen? How could she love him when their night together was supposed to be meaningless?
He didn't understand and his lack of connection to the situation worried him. He wondered if he would ever understand what was going on between them and he wondered if he would ever be able to not feel the guilt anymore. Every time he saw Rachel now, he felt the constant guilt in his stomach return. She was a constant reminder to him of how bad and low he had truly become. He didn't necessarily feel a connection of love and that worried him. How could he be with someone if he didn't love them?
It was these thoughts that made him feel like running back home. His fiancé, his apartment, glee club, his life, were all sitting back in Lima waiting for his return. Everything was probably going fine and running smoothly and that was what his life had craved for at the moment. Normal and familiar.
After thinking about all the things he had back home, he began to get up and pace. He could feel himself developing a panic and he began to frantically look for his bag. If running was the only thing that would make his life feel normal again, then he had to run. He knew it was wrong, but he had no other choice.
He finally found his bag five minutes later and with one look back at a sleeping Rachel, he took off. Through the kitchen and through the living room, he made it to her door. He stopped and paused for a moment though, thinking about what he was actually doing.
Was he really just about to leave Rachel behind with no contact, to return to what he thought would be his normal life back home? Was he the type of man that would abandon someone in time of need when half of their problem was his fault?
He answered no to all those questions and dropped his bag to the ground, feeling ashamed.
"Mr. Schue?" Kurt said quietly as he stepped out of his room and into the kitchen. "What are you doing?" he asked as he noticed Will's bag by his feet. He was still in his pajamas too, which confused Kurt on where he was going. It didn't seem like Will realized that he was wearing them still either.
"Nothing," Will said quickly because his plan to leave was now a distant memory.
"Are you sure? It looks like something," Kurt said as he raised an eyebrow up at him, having a suspicious feeling in the pit of his stomach that things weren't right.
"I'm just feeling overwhelmed," Will confessed as he explained his feelings to Kurt, keeping his voice low so Rachel couldn't hear him.
"So you thought you would leave?" Kurt asked as worry crept on his face. He didn't like the idea of Will not being here, not at all.
"No, well, yes, but I'm not. I swear," Will said as he tried to explain himself.
"Mr. Schue, I don't even want to pretend to know what you are going through, but running away, isn't the answer," Kurt said to him. Will looked at him with sorrow as he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. He was being given a lesson about respect from an old student. When did the tables turn to make him feel like the kid and Kurt the teacher? He didn't know and he didn't like how it made him feel. Ashamed, disappointed, a sad excuse for a teacher, were just a few of his feelings.
He found his voice again as he said "I know, Kurt. I just feel so lost. Everything I had back home, is going to be gone and I don't think that Rachel realizes that I have more to lose than her."
"You have to realize that Rachel will be giving things up too. Broadway mainly being at the top," Kurt replied back as he looked at Will. He could see that Will truly was conflicted and almost felt sorry for him, but after realizing that this whole situation could have been avoided, made him forget his feelings.
"Rachel could always go back to Broadway though. She has school going for her too and once the baby is born, she can focus time back at NYADA," Will said as he thought about her future instead of his. His was filled with no fiancé and a choir room full of disappointed people. Rachel at least had a chance to still live her life after the baby.
"Mr. Schue, a baby is a lot of work. You of all people should now that as an adult. It won't be easy for Rachel to just jump back in the NYADA scene after having a baby. Who would take care of it anyways if you weren't here? I can only do so much to help her. She needs you," Kurt said all in one breath. Will looked at him surprised but knew he was right. Rachel needed him and down the line he knew that he would need her too when everything in his life would come crashing down.
"I, you're right, Kurt," Will said as he folded his arms across his chest. Silence crept into the room as Will stared awkwardly at the floor, thinking about what it would mean to be a father. He had always wanted to be one; he just didn't picture it being this way.
"Do you really think I can do this? Be a father?" Will suddenly asked. Kurt broke his gaze from the countertop and smiled warmly at him.
"You'll be a great dad, Mr. Schue. You were always like a father figure to us anyways," Kurt said as he remembered the group singing To Sir, With Love to him and telling him how much he meant to them all those years ago.
"Thanks, Kurt. That means a lot," Will said as he finally stepped away from the door. He picked up his bag in the process and moved it over to the couch so he could grab it later when he actually had to leave.
He wasn't going to run and he was proud that he was starting to feel a little more sure of himself. He knew he could do this; he just needed the support in others. Kurt's and Rachel's was a start.
He walked over to the kitchen and gave Kurt a pat on the back. It was a relief to know that for at least now, everything would be okay.
"Can we keep this between us?" Will asked. He didn't want Rachel to hear his worries because he knew it would stress her out more.
"Sure, you can count on me," Kurt said. "But you should consider talking to Rachel about all of this too. She deserves to know how you are feeling," Kurt added with a small smile or reassurance.
"I will, later when she wakes up," Will said as he thought about what he would say to her. How he would tell her all his concerns and feelings. It would be hard, but he knew he had to tell her so they both could finally find out where they stood with each other.
"I'm going to make some coffee, do you want any?" Will asked as silence began to creep in the room.
"No thanks, I'm okay," Kurt replied as he went back to looking at his phone.
Will nodded and proceeded to make his coffee. He sat at the kitchen table and read a magazine while he waited for it to be ready. The clock continued to tick by and he wondered if Rachel would ever wake up. He thought she was a morning person but her early morning schedule must have changed.
The coffee finally finished ten minutes later just as Rachel was walking out of her room, wrapping the sting of her bathrobe around her waist.
"Morning," Rachel said as she glanced between both Will and Kurt.
"Morning, Rachel. Sleep well?" Kurt asked, while Will watched her rub the sleep out of her eyes.
"Yes. It was much needed. Thankfully I don't have any morning sickness yet," Rachel said as she made her way over to the table to sit in a chair next to Will. Will took this as his opportunity. He quickly glanced over to Kurt and widened his eyes at him to let him know that he wanted to talk to Rachel alone.
"Rachel, we need to talk," Will said as he grabbed her hand. Rachel looked at him with concern and worry as she noticed that Kurt was avoiding their direction, as well as picking up his things to leave.
"I'm going to step out for a bit. Maybe meet Adam," Kurt said as he walked over and grabbed his coat off of the rack. He smiled back Rachel before he left and Rachel felt her face relax a little.
"What's going on?" Rachel asked as she turned to face him directly once Kurt had left.
"Well, first, I overheard you last night in Kurt's room about your feelings towards me and I just want to say that I'm not completely sure what I feel for you," Will said, honestly because he still obviously cared for Emma. He had to be honest though and truthful, but his heart ached a little when watched Rachel shift her eyes away from him in embarrassment. He reached out and grabbed her hand in his, lacing their fingers together.
"But that doesn't mean that I don't want to try this," he said as he used his other hand to motion between them.
"I'm confused," Rachel started to say, as she really wondered about his sudden revelation. What about Emma? What was he going to do about her?
"So am I. Up until this point, I have only been thinking about what I would lose instead of what I would gain, Emma mainly being at the top of that list. I, however, didn't think about what being a father really meant," Will said as he explained his concerns. Rachel watched his forehead crease with worry and she began to stoke his hand for comfort.
"And what does it mean?" Rachel asked quietly, curious to hear his answer.
"Being a person that my son or daughter can look up to and model after as well as show trust and honest with my partner," Will explained as he felt tears swell up in his eyes, feeling the emotion in his voice. He continued on.
"I'll be honest and say that I don't know if I can do this, but I've been thinking and talking, some on my own and some with Kurt, and I started to think that maybe I can do this. I've always wanted to be a dad and maybe not this way, but it doesn't matter anymore. You're having my baby and I need to be here," he said in one breath. Silence crept into the room as Rachel smiled at him with adoration. She couldn't say anything as she smiled at him with love.
"Please, say something," Will said as the silence made him worry that this was too much for her to process so early in the morning.
"Will, I'm touched," Rachel said as she felt the tears start to swell in her eyes. "I know how much you love Emma and it's okay that you don't know what you feel for me yet, we can work on that. What matters is that you are going to be involved," she added as she watched his face relax at her response.
"We can do this, Rachel. We have a lot of obstacles ahead of us but somehow I know we can do this," Will said as he pulled her into a tight embrace. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her forehead against his. They could do this. They could be parents even if everyone else wouldn't approve or if others would be heartbroken. They were both strong people and could manage that as long as they had each other.
"So we keep the plan then to tell everyone at Thanksgiving?" Rachel asked, still keeping her forehead pressed against his.
"Yep, the sooner the better and we'll tell them together, okay?" Will said with a reassuring smile that said everything would be okay.
"Okay, together," Rachel smiled in agreement as she finally broke away from his hold.
"So," Will started to say.
"So," Rachel replied. "When do you leave?" she asked as a frown appeared on her face. They were finally connecting and Will had to leave to go back to Washington. She didn't think about how hard it would be with him still gone. It, however, was just another hurdle they would have to jump over.
"In a couple of hours, I want to be back to DC relatively early," Will said.
"This is going to be hard," Rachel said as she thought about him being a part of the panel for another few months.
"I know, but I can visit and next week we will home," Will said reassuringly.
"Next week won't be so happy though," Rachel said as she reminded him of what they had to do.
"I know, but we have to. How do you think your dads will react?" Will asked concerned as well as feared by what their reaction might be. He didn't know the Berry men that well, but probably figured that Rachel being pregnant wasn't a part of the plan they had for her.
"Shocked I'm sure and once they find out it's you, I don't even want to think about what they will say," Rachel said as she shivered slightly thinking about the reaction of her parents.
"What if we told everyone at one time? We get your dad's, Emma, the glee kids, all in the choir room and just say it so everyone can hear," Will said as he thought of a plan that would maybe make things easier on them because he knew Emma wouldn't take the news lightly.
"I don't know, Will. That sounds a bit much," Rachel said as she pictured all of them hating her and Will, shunning them forever because of what they did.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Will said as he thought about how humiliated Emma would be if he told her in a public place.
"How about either your dad's or Emma first and then the glee kids? he asked with a hopeful smile.
"That sounds perfect," Rachel said as she grabbed his hand in his again. It felt good to be able to reach out and grab it and although they weren't an official couple or even dating for that matter, they still had each other.
"I should go get ready," Will said as he looked down and realized he was still in his pajamas.
"Okay," Rachel said as she stood up with him.
"I'll get ready too and then go to the station with you to say goodbye," Rachel said.
"Okay, great," Will replied with a smile.
Will followed Rachel into her room and while she stayed by her bed to look in her closet, he went into the shower.
Will sighed as he let the warm water droplets glide down his skin, relaxing his muscles in the process. He was still a little tense, but knew that he would lighten up once he was changed and ready.
Twenty minutes later, he stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist. He cursed to himself as he left his bag on the couch. He walked out with the towel secure in place and walked pasted a grinning Rachel.
Once to the couch, Will was embarrassedly greeted by Kurt and a stranger, who he guessed was probably Adam.
"Um, hi guys," Will said as he reached down to grab his bags. "I'll be out in a minute," Will said as he felt the two of them stare at his shirtless body. When he walked away, Kurt glanced over to Adam who had a smirk while Kurt scolded him playfully.
Once back in Rachel's room, he quickly opened his bag and pulled on a lose fit V-neck shirt and some dark wash blue jeans, while Rachel was now in the bathroom.
He dried his curls and slid some sunglasses on top of his head. Rachel walked out in a winter coat and a matching hat.
"You ready?" she asked as she noticed him fully dressed.
"Yeah, let me just grab my coat," Will said as he reached to her dresser. He slipped it on and followed her out of the room.
"Kurt, were going to the train station. Will has to go," Rachel said as they approached the front door.
"Okay. Bye Mr. Schue," Kurt said as he stood up and made his way over to them. Will gave him a quick pat on the back.
"See you later, Kurt. I'll be back to visit soon," Will said and Kurt nodded in return because he knew that he would be seeing Will more often now.
"I'll be back later," Rachel said as she gave him a quick hug.
"Bye you two," Kurt said as he gave one last wave.
Once outside, Rachel stopped a taxi. They both climbed in the back seat and Rachel grabbed his hand. She knew it was only a couple of days before she would see him again but, she wanted to get as close to him as soon as possible. She knew their relationship would only work if their feelings were mutual. She was pretty sure one her, they just needed to work on his.
After about thirty minutes, the taxi arrived and Rachel told the driver to wait as she would be coming back relatively shortly. Rachel followed Will hand in hand as they made their way to the ticket booth.
Will bought his ticket for a train that would be arriving in a half hour. He thanked the man and then took a seat on the bench with Rachel next to him. She rested her head against his shoulder and held tightly on his arm. She wondered if she was showing too much affection too soon but thought nothing of it as Will didn't say anything to stop her.
They sat in silence for about ten minutes before Will's phone rang. Rachel shifted off of him as he took it out of his pocket. He sighed as it was Emma. She was probably going to wish him love for the next week and confirm travel plans. Rachel saw the desperation and hesitation in Will's eyes and felt the need to reassure him of what they had going.
"Hey, we're going to be okay, okay?" Rachel said as she kissed his shoulder. Will smiled a small smile to her and put the phone away. He knew Emma would be worried but he would call her back when he reached DC. He felt more comfortable that way.
The rest of the time waiting for the train was making small talk and silence, but both didn't seem to mind. Will glanced up just as his train was pulling into the station.
"Well, I guess this is it," Will said as he looked over to Rachel, who once again had her head on his shoulder.
"Yeah," Rachel sighed as she got up with Will.
"So I'll call you in a couple of days to see how everything is going?" Will asked as Rachel nodded back at him.
"And I'll see you for Thanksgiving at the end of the week," Rachel added.
"Sounds like a plan," Will said as he leaned down to kiss her forehead. Rachel briefly shut her eyes at the contact and sighed happily.
"See you soon," she said. Will smiled back at her and she longed to tell him I love you but thought it was much too early in their relationship to say anything that promising.
"Bye, Rachel. I'm a phone call away if you need me," Will said as he walked off towards the train. Rachel waited until she could see him in the window and waved once he was situated. He smiled and waved back as the train started to slowly pull away as quick as it had arrived. Once she couldn't see him anymore, she finally headed back to the taxi and back to her apartment with Kurt, where everything was different but somehow the same.
This weekend was not easy, but now that it was coming to an end, she realized she had hope, she had reassurance and most importantly, she had Will and that was enough for her.