A/N: Hey all! Sorry for the wait. I really wanted to get this out sooner but I was busy finishing my summer class and out of town for a mini vacation. Anyways, hope you all like this chapter and please read and review! The reviews last time really made me smile.
A/N 2: Rest in peace Cory Monteith. Thank you for making Glee what it was and for making me smile. Your talent will be missed but your memory will not be forgotten.
Rachel sat waiting at the Lima Bean, anxiously waiting for Finn to arrive. Once Will had left, she had made the decision to finally talk to Finn because Will was going to talk to Emma. It was something that she dreaded to do, but knew she had to. There was no going around it.
So, once Will had left, she made her way to the Lima Bean and called Finn from her table. He sounded confused but nonetheless agreed to meet her for coffee.
While Rachel waited, she continued to sip lightly on her tea, hoping it would help soothe her knotted stomach. Although too early in the pregnancy for morning sickness, Rachel's stomach was feeling unusually nauseous today. She knew it was more than likely from the guilt she was holding rather than the baby, but it still made her feel uncomfortable. She had done so well on hiding her emotions but now it was becoming a struggle. She saw what the news was doing to Will and she didn't want to let it affect her that much.
She was going to be a mother and she needed to be strong. Strong so she could show her fathers that she could do this and prove to Will that she was worthy of his love. She knew he still felt indifferent towards her and as hard as it was to accept, she knew he wasn't in love with her. The way he looked at her, showed her that he was in pain with the situation and although he had said they would work on it, she knew that falling in love him was very far down the road. She would do whatever it would take though to make him see that she was the one for him. She had to if they were every going to be a family. Thankfully, she had nine months to prove it to him.
"Rachel?" Finn called out, distracting Rachel from her thoughts. He came walking around the corner with a tall coffee in his hand and the same dopey smile on his face.
"Finn," she replied, motioning for him to sit down, while she took a deep breathe to calm herself before the eye of the storm hit.
"Hi," he said as he sat down across from her, placing his coffee on the table. He rubbed his hands on his jeans and Rachel noticed he was nervous.
"Hi," Rachel replied back, directing her attention away from his hands and to his face. Finn had changed so much. He was thinner and more mature looking. He didn't have the baby face that made him look sixteen. He had the face of a man and Rachel suddenly realized just how much they had truly grown up in such a little time since high school.
She had ditched her animal sweaters and knee socks while Finn looked like Will, wearing his vests and sweaters. She swallowed hard at the noticeable comparison. Finn was a younger Will and that realization made Rachel's heart ache even more.
Finn looked up to Will like an older brother and to see him have that trust with him, made Rachel hate herself for the decision they made that night. Their trust would be broken in a matter of minutes and their relationship would be tarnished to the ground and it would be because of her. This whole mess was because of her.
"How, how have you been?" Finn asked with slight hesitation in his voice. Rachel looked at him confused, realizing that he was trying to have a conversation with her. She blinked her eyes a couple of times to fade her thoughts and then proceeded to try and make conversation.
"I've been okay," Rachel said quietly, starting small. She decided on using the same strategy as her dads, building on information before finally reaching the tipping point. She knew this would work with Finn as he was often confused and oblivious as to what was going on anyways.
"Just okay?" Finn asked with confusion. It wasn't like Rachel to be quiet and calm during conversation. She was always so animated and energetic which led him to believe that something was bothering her. He didn't know what, but if he had to guess, it would be a problem at NYADA. Maybe she was stressed about auditioning or maybe she sang a note wrong at a call back. He knew Rachel wouldn't tell him though, so he started to ask, pushing her to open up first.
"How's school?" Finn decided to ask as Rachel didn't elaborate on her explanation.
"Dance class, acting class and then musical theory. It's great, but a lot of work," Rachel said as she was reminded of her truly wonderful classes in New York. She liked them all expect for one and that was because of Cassie July. Cassie July was a duplicate of Santana, only more brutal with her insults.
Every day Rachel took the torment from her, but some days were hard and she could only stand so much of it. She dreaded the jokes and the laughter she was sure she would have to endure once she started showing her baby bump in class. She even feared that she would not even be welcomed back into the class, saying dancing would be too dangerous while pregnant.
"Rach? You okay?" Finn asked as he waved a hand in front of her face, noticing that she was dazing off in the distance. It worried him as Rachel rarely daydreamed.
"What? I'm fine," Rachel replied as she corrected herself, directing her attention back to Finn.
"What have you been up to since the musical?" Rachel asked, keeping the conversation going. She tried to keep it on a light and friendly path, but that was becoming harder and harder as her thoughts about the future of her pregnancy became more apparent.
"Just helping Mr. Schue with glee club. I know it sounds lame, but it's really the only thing I have going for me. I actually think I'm doing a pretty good job at it even if we did lose at sectionals," Finn said with a proud smile on his face. Although the loss still stung, it was his first try at running a club and he was proud of taking the glee kids as far as they had gotten. Mr. Schue was proud of him so he was happy of himself for his own accomplishments.
"That's great. I think you really found your dream this time," Rachel said, happy that he had found something to occupy his time with instead of feeling so down about himself because of the army and their break up.
"Yeah, me too and it's all thanks to Mr. Schue. I wouldn't have been able to do this without him. He's been a great friend to me since we graduated, kind of like a brother," Finn said as he spoke great things about Will. Rachel's stomach twisted in knots and knew that the time to tell him was getting close. She couldn't keep lying and let Finn complement the man he looked up to like an older brother.
"Yeah, that's the kind of guy Mr. Schue is, always looking out for others," Rachel replied, with a frown though, being reminded again that Will was only helping her as a friend and nothing more. She wished he felt feelings for her like she did him, but knew that Will still cared for Emma, even after all this mess started. She tried to quickly mask it, but saw that Finn saw and was looking at her in puzzlement.
"What's wrong?" Finn asked, worry creeping onto his face.
"Nothing," Rachel said quietly, holding a sniffle back in the process, blinking her eyes away from him. She tried hard not to let herself cry yet. It wasn't the right moment.
"Please? I know something is upsetting you. You're trying to act like nothing is wrong, but I know you," Finn said with concern, pleading for an answer. "You can't hide your emotions from me, Rach," Finn added, folding his arms across his chest, waiting for an explanation.
"I can't tell you even if I wanted to," Rachel said, with pure pain in her voice. She held back her tears but her words were coming out in quiet sounds, making Finn lean in to her hear.
"You can tell me anything, you know that right? I know things have been awkward between us lately but I'm here for you," Finn said as he reached out to grasp her hand in his. Rachel pulled back even though she desperately wanted the contact. She wasn't going to lead him on though and make him think that this news should be taken lightly.
"That's very sweet of you, but I can't tell you because it will kill you, Finn," Rachel said as small tears finally began to trickle down her face, unable to hold them back anymore. Finn just stared at her with his own pain apparent on his face. He hated seeing her so upset but she wasn't letting him do anything to comfort her, leaving him sitting awkwardly across from her.
"What? What do you mean?" Finn finally asked, unable to take the silence.
"I, I'm," Rachel muttered out, hating herself for being such a coward. She had already confessed it once, how come she couldn't do it again? It was two words yet two words that were fumbling in her head, unable to come out.
"You're what?" Finn asked, seeing she was having difficulty finding the right words. He had never seen Rachel struggle so much with a crisis. She always just transformed into a drama queen and stormed off. Now, she was unable to control her tears and was breathing deeply to catch her breath.
"Pregnant," Rachel said finally as she let out a loud breath. She didn't avert her eyes and stared deeply into Finns, trying to read his thoughts. His face showed pure shock, making it hard for Rachel to tell what he was feeling.
"Pregnant?" Finn said out loud, his own breathing becoming heavily. Rachel nodded her head in silence, unable to respond. She could hear Finn's deep breathing and knew he was having a hard time putting everything together. She decided she wouldn't say anymore until he was calm enough to start asking the questions.
"Is it mine?" he asked, making Rachel's heart break even more. They hadn't been together since June and it was now November. It was possible but not true in the slightest bit.
Rachel shook her head no while her soft sobs, made her body tremble. Finn let out a long sigh and Rachel couldn't tell if it was one of relief or one of heart break. Now, she didn't dare look at him, afraid of what his face would show.
"Who's then?" Finn asked, pushing her and demanding answers and explanations to her confession. He was utterly lost and confused at how Rachel, the girl he loved, was pregnant.
"Rachel, you have to tell me so I can beat the crap out of whoever did this," Finn said, slightly joking but completely serious at the same time. If this was an accident, he was going to make the guy responsible pay. Rachel didn't deserve to be in this situation. Not when she was so close to living her dreams and becoming a star.
"It's, you know him, Finn," Rachel finally said, keeping things simple to where Finn could guess on his own about the father without her actually having to tell him. She knew that saying Will's name would send him on a rampage.
"I know him?" Finn asked confused, thinking of all the guys he knew that Rachel did as well. All of his options were guys in glee club and he knew that none of them would go behind his back and take his girl, or at least so he thought. His mind then raced to Puck, then to Sam and even to Brody in New York. He couldn't stop the images from forming in his mind as he pictured Rachel together with people he considered his best friends, minus Brody of course.
"Oh god, not Puck? Please tell me you didn't sleep with him, Rachel?" Finn asked as his blood began to boil at the thought of his best friend and his ex-fiancé together.
"No, not Puck, never," Rachel said quickly, seeing Finn's face change drastically to anger. She reassured him quickly and saw his face ease up a bit.
"Brody then? The guy you are shaking up with in New York?" Finn asked, voice filled with anger.
"No, Brody and I are done," Rachel said thinking back to talking to Brody at her apartment when Will was in New York. She hadn't exactly talked to him since.
"Then who?" Finn begged, tired of trying to guess himself who knocked up Rachel. There were too many options, all of them only upsetting him more.
"Will," Rachel said using his first name to make it sound more professional. Calling him Mr. Schuester was inappropriate and uncomfortable now that they were graduated and not his students.
"Will? What Will?" Finn asked, completely confused on who Rachel was talking about. He only knew one Will, and he was sure that he would never do that to him. Mr. Schuester was like a really cool older brother to Finn and to think of him with Rachel made his heart sink and his anger boil.
"Finn! What other Will's do we know? Mr. Schuester, okay? Mr. Schuester is the father of this baby," Rachel yelled, reaching breaking point while Finn just stared at her in complete shock, not believing a word she had just said.
"I was just with him today. He wouldn't do that to me, he couldn't," Finn said as his breathing once again came out in heavy gasps. His legs began to bounce uncontrollably and his hands were shaking with anger. He soon shot up from his seat, unable to contain it anymore, pacing around the table they were sitting at. Other customers began to look over at their table, wondering what the commotion was.
"Finn, calm down," Rachel said, realizing that they had spectators watching. It was embarrassing and slightly humiliating to have everyone in the coffee shop looking at them.
"Calm down? Rachel, how can I calm down?" Finn asked with rage, throwing his hands animatedly up in the air.
"I know it's a lot to take in," Rachel said, standing up herself to grab his shoulders to calm him down.
"A lot to take in? You slept with our teacher," Finn said loudly, causing more people to look over to them, eyes quirked up in curiosity.
"Ex-teacher, Finn. We're not his students anymore," Rachel corrected him, looking uneasily around her.
"That doesn't make it any better," he said as he continued to pace.
"I know it doesn't. I feel horrible, guilty, awful," Rachel said but Finn just shook his head, unable to hear her explanations.
"You've lied to me," he said, heartbroken, running a hand over his face.
"No, I didn't. I told you the truth," Rachel said, suddenly feeling brave. She wasn't going to let Finn knock her down.
"How could you do this to me? I loved you, I still love you and him, I can't believe him either," Finn said, finally slowing his pacing down, trying to catch his breath, however still clearly upset.
"It was a mistake that we both realize. It shouldn't have happened but he was there one night and it did," Rachel explained as best she could, still unsure if she even understood how it happened.
"Okay, stop I don't need to hear all the details," Finn said, slightly cringing at her explanation.
"I'm not asking you to forgive me Finn, I'm just asking that you can support us," Rachel said seeing that he was calmer than before, hoping that the shock was starting to wear off.
"I'm sorry, but I can't," Finn said after a couple minutes of silence. Rachel stared at him with pleading eyes, hoping he would change his mind. She knew this news was hard but, she thought he would at least be there for her.
"Please, Finn," Rachel said but he just shook his head no, eyes full of disappointment.
"I can't and I'm sorry. I need to go," Finn said turning away without looking back. Rachel watched him walk out of the Lima Bean, head low and a hand running across his neck.
She sat back down, feeling light headed after all the tears she had shed. She stared deeply into the table to try and piece everything together as well as to try and figure what came next. She was having a hard time concentrating though and decided that she needed to talk to someone. Someone who wouldn't be judgmental about the news she had and someone who had sort of become like a friend to her over the years. Someone who had even gone through a pregnancy and knew what it was like.
Rachel pulled out her phone and hit call, hoping that they would answer.
"Rachel, this is a surprise," Quinn said on the other line, glancing at her phone to make sure she had the right number.
"Hi Quinn and I know. I've been meaning to visit you at Yale, but," Rachel said but couldn't find a valid excuse.
"You were just too busy?" Quinn finished for her.
"I'm sorry, I really am," Rachel tried to explain.
"It's okay. We're busy people. Why are you calling anyways?" Quinn asked confused. They hadn't spoken much since graduation. A few emails there and texts here, but nothing too serious.
"I need some help," Rachel stated as she started to explain her situation.
"What kind of help? You never ask for help," Quinn replied. It was true; Rachel had always been an individual that did things her way, for her to ask for help meant that there was something serious going on.
"I know but I've gotten myself into a bit of trouble," Rachel said quietly, waiting for Quinn to respond. When she never did, she continued. "You've been through this before and I have no idea what I'm doing," Rachel added, hoping Quinn would catch on.
"Wait, Rachel, you're pregnant?" Quinn asked, shocked at what she was hearing. Rachel was silent on the other end, trying to think of a reply that didn't make her want to cry again.
"Who's the father?" Quinn questioned as she waited for Rachel to say something.
"You're not going to believe it but, Will," Rachel said as she took a deep breath to prepare herself for the reaction that most everyone seemed to have when they found out that Will was the father.
"Good one, Rachel," Quinn said with a laugh, unable to believe that Rachel slept with their glee club teacher.
"It's not a joke Quinn. It just happened one night and we weren't safe," Rachel said quietly. Once Quinn realized that no laughing or chuckling was coming from her side of the phone, she knew it was real.
"God, Rachel. What were you thinking? I mean he's cute and all but he's engaged," Quinn said in shock.
"I'm pretty sure he's not anymore since he was going to tell Ms. Pillsbury the truth today," Rachel said with a sigh.
"Shit, what about Finn?" she asked, knowing that there were still feelings between the two.
"I just told him and he's not happy about it either. He stormed off and I'm alone at the Lima Bean," Rachel said in frustration, hoping that at least someone other than Kurt would be supportive of her.
"Rachel, I don't know what to say," Quinn said at a loss for words.
"Please, just help me through this? I need friends," Rachel explained.
"What about Will? How does he feel towards you?" Quinn asked, surprised that Rachel sounded so alone on the other end.
"He doesn't. He said we would work on it, but I know he doesn't love me or if he ever will. Quinn, I'm scared that I'll have to go through this alone," Rachel said as a small tear came down her face yet again.
"It's okay, Rachel. He's not going to abandon you. That's not who he is. He just needs time," Quinn tried to comfort her that Will would be there for her during this time.
"I know. That's what I keep telling myself but I don't know if I can believe it," Rachel replied, knowing the look of disappointment on Will's face although he tried to hid it about the baby.
"How far along are you?" Quinn asked as Rachel had yet to say.
"Only three weeks," Rachel replied as she hugged her stomach out of instinct, protectively wrapping her arms around where her bump would be.
"And have you thought about what you want to do?" Quinn asked as three weeks was still early enough for Rachel to have plenty of options about what she wanted to do with the baby.
"I'm going to keep it. I can't abandon it nor abort it. It wouldn't be right. I just don't know what to do during this pregnancy," Rachel said again.
"Well, here's what you are going to do, okay? When you get back home to New York, you are taking the train to come visit me. We can talk more then okay?" Quinn said calmly on the other end. "Everything's going to be okay, all right?" Quinn said soothingly.
"Okay, thanks Quinn, really," Rachel said with a sniffle.
"Now, I have to go but call me when you are back in New York, okay?" Quinn said sternly.
"I will, as soon as I get home," Rachel promised. "Bye, Quinn," she added as she hung up the phone.
Once Rachel had hung up, she sat for a couple of more minutes at her table, processing everything that had just happened. Finn was more than angry with her but at least Quinn was going to be supportive and that was all she needed to at least feel a little bit better about the situation. She needed people to be strong around her so she could be and she was glad that Quinn was one of those people.