Summary: A/U This is my take on what should have happened after Addison's conversation with Meredith on "Piece of My Heart" and how these events will affect the lives of Addison and Derek, and those around them.

ThanX go out to my excellent Beta AE

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The Scientist

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you

Tell you I need you

Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets

And ask me your questions

Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles

Coming up tails

Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

Previously on Maybe:

"You're not alone on this. I'm here. No matter what happens, I will be here."

"How do I know that? How do I know that you won't change your mind? That you won't resent me for getting pregnant when we were both moving on?" She was looking at him with such fear and sincerity, the naked look in her eyes piercing his very soul. How could he tell her that even though he was so ready to move on, he was still thinking of her. Thinking of that night that they made love before watching her get on that plane to leave him once more. That yesterday evening when she called him, Meredith and him were making plans for the future, a future that when he closed his eyes still involved a certain red head with striking blue eyes. He knew that he was only thinking with his heart at the moment and in the morning things might look differently and he'd deal with it then. But Kevin was right about a few things, what if everything that happened was leading up to this very moment? What if he could be missing out on something great? What if this was there chance to come together once more? He had to tell her, he had to tell her what he felled to tell her the day she left him at that airport.

"Because I'm still in love with you."

'Maybe'-By Agent Addek

Chapter 6: 'The Scientist'

"I'm sorry...what did you say?"

"I'm still in love with you."

Her nerve endings began to tingle, blood rushing to her heart. He was saying that he was still in love with her. After everything that they had been through, he still loved her, just like she loved him. She was almost bursting from the happiness and excitement and then...then she remembered. She remembered that they were supposed to move on...that he already had, and so had she...when they had fallen into bed and made love.

"Don't."

"Addison?"

"Derek, please...just don't. We have both moved on with our lives. You're only saying this because I'm pregnant. Had I not called you last night to tell you that, you wouldn't be here now making this declaration. So don't."

"Addison..." She put up her hand to stop him. "No, just listen to me will you?" She didn't say anything to the contrary so he continued. "Yes, you're right, I was ready to move on. Last night, I was ready to take that next step with Meredith." At the mention of the woman who was ultimately one of the reasons that their marriage fell apart, Addison couldn't help but flinch. It didn't go unnoticed by Derek. "Look, I know the pain that I caused you when I...when I did what I did with her...and for that I am terribly sorry. All I'm saying, is that the moment you called me, those plans with her didn't matter anymore."

"See, this is exactly why we just shouldn't go there Derek. Let's just forget you ever said it, okay?"

He was about to fight her on it when the door bell rang. The food had obviously arrived. "Will you get the door please?" She asked as she leaned backwards to rest her head. Derek instantly reached out to her. "Are you okay?" His voice laced with concern.

"Yeah...I...dizzy."

"Let me get you some water." He rushed over to the kitchen and grabbed her glass of water. The door bell rung again. "Coming!" He yelled out. He rushed back to her, "Jesus!" tripping on the carpet but catching himself before slipping. "Here, drink this. Let me go get the door and I'll be right back."

She nodded and took a sip.

He quickly grabbed the food, paid the delivery guy and was instantly at her side again.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking getting you all worked up like that. How are you feeling? Do you need me to call Nai?"

Addison shook her head, "No! It's okay. I'm feeling better. I think all this excitement today has taken a toll on me. I just need to eat and then head off to bed to get some rest. I'll be good as new tomorrow. Besides, I can sleep in, Nai insisted that I not come to work until Monday." She attempted to smile.

"Addie are you sure?" He pressed again.

"I'm fine Derek. Now let's eat."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The ringing of his phone startled him out of his sleep. Well, his attempt of sleeping anyways. He had been tossing and turning since they had both gone to bed. Even though she was only a few doors away from him, he was afraid that if something happened to her, he wouldn't get to her in time. He had insisted on sleeping in her room, even if he had to sleep on her floor to stand vigil, but she would have none of it. The phone continued to ring and at the risk of having it wake Addison up, he answered without bothering to look at who was calling.

"Hello?" His voice raspy from the lack of sleep.

"Derek?" The familiar voice came from the other line.

Shit! It was Meredith. Why had he answered?

"Hey." Was all he could think of to say at the moment.

"Hey? That's all you have to say?...Where are you? I've been calling you since last night. I've been so worried! I went to the hospital and I was told you hadn't been there. I even asked Rose and she said she hadn't seen you. Are you okay? What's going on?"

"Mer, I'm fine...Something came up and I had to leave. I'm sorry I didn't pick up the phone or call you, things have been a little crazy. Can we just talk when I get back?"

"Back? Back from where?"

He realized his mistake the moment he had said it. There was no point in keeping his current location a secret. "I'm in Los Angeles...with Addison."

He could hear her uncomfortable intake of breath. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fore fingers. "You're with Addison?" She finally asked. Insecurity, jealousy, and apprehensiveness dripping from her voice.

"Yes." Was his only answer.

"But why are..."

"Can we just talk when I get back?"

She was losing her patience. "When will that be Derek? I didn't even know you had left until now. So how long are you planning on being there? I had no idea that you were at the beck and call of your ex-wife!" She emphasized the ex-wife.

"Mer, let's not do this now. It's late. Let's just talk when I get back."

She took a deep breath. She wanted to know what the hell was going on but she stopped herself. The last thing she wanted to do was push him away after just getting him back. "I'm sorry. I was so worried. I thought that maybe you had changed your mind about...about us. I'm finally ready Derek. I'm ready for us, for all of it. You still want this right?" She asked hesitantly, afraid the answer had changed.

He stayed quiet for what seemed like an eternity. "Yes, I still want us. Goodnight Meredith."

He could hear the smile in her voice. "Goodnight Derek"

He felt like he was somehow betraying Addison by telling Meredith what she wanted to hear, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her otherwise. He had caused both women so much pain. One, the love of his life, who was now carrying his children...the other had been a breath of fresh air, and had seemingly glued him back together after what had happened in New York. There was no need in hurting Meredith again if there was no hope for him and Addison, was there?...god what the hell was he thinking? This was exactly why Addison couldn't believe him! Only a few hours ago she had essentially slapped his declaration of love away, and now he was trying to keep Meredith on the hook. He shook his head. The only thing he knew for sure was that he was going to be there for Addison through this pregnancy, everything else could wait. He needed to sleep. Things would be clearer in the light of day. He closed his eyes and a few moments later drifted off into sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The sunlight peaked through her curtain and roused her out of her peaceful sleep. She instinctively reached down to touch her stomach. She smiled...in a few months it would no longer be a flat surface. It was so ridiculous how ready she was to be a mom. She'd longed for this moment since Derek and her had been dating, but medical school, residency and their respective practices had taken priority. They had been trying to build a life, the children would come once they had reached a certain point in their careers and life. Then it all fell apart, but somehow, the pieces were slowly starting to come together once more. When Derek made his sudden declaration last night...even though it was something that she'd wanted to hear for so long, she couldn't trust it. Although she should have let him finish, because she was aware that he had more to say, she hadn't give him time to do so. They would have to talk today. So many decisions and plans had to be made. Even though she knew it wouldn't all be straightened out right away...well, she was realistic and she knew Rome wasn't built in one day, she felt that somehow, it would all work out. It had to. Her thought process was derailed by the sudden delicious assault on her nose. Addison inhaled deeply, knowing exactly what that delectable smell was. Derek was cooking her favorites. She swung her legs over the side of her bed, quickly grabbed her robe and slippers and made her trek downstairs.

"Good morning!" He said with an overly enthusiastic smile. She hadn't seen him this happy in a very long time. This pregnancy was definitely suiting both of them. "Did you sleep well?" He asked as he walked way over to her and gave her a light peck on the cheek, then handed her a glass of orange juice. "It's fresh squeezed." He winked and then went back to the stove to check on his eggs.

"Fresh squeezed? I don't remember having oranges."

"No you didn't. I went out earlier to grab some stuff for your breakfast."

"Thank you. This is really nice of you...Derek, about what you said last..."

"Let's not talk about that right now. I want you to eat breakfast, then we're taking a short light walk on the beach and then we have to come back and get ready because I have a relaxing day planned out for you."

"But we have to..."

"We will. I promise. I just want you to decompress...and then this evening, we can talk all you want. Okay?"

"Okay. Everything looks and smells good." She said as she reached out to swipe a piece of the fluffy pancakes on the counter. "Wow, no slapping away my hand from the food before it's ready. This is something new and totally note worthy." She said with a sly grin.

"You're the mother of my unborn children, you can do whatever you want." He said with a goofy grin of his own.

"You better be careful what you say buddy, I might take you totally seriously and have my way with you." She winked at him playfully. They both stared at each other and then chuckled. Things just felt so light now that they knew that as long as she was careful, and did everything by the book, they would soon have two wonderful healthy babies.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Addie, you almost ready? We don't want to be late."

"I'm coming. Why don't you just tell me where we're going already." She said loudly from her bedroom so he could hear her.

"Because then it wouldn't be a surprise, would it? The sooner you get down here, the sooner you'll find out what it is. I told you, just wear something casual, you don't even really need to get dressed."

"Oh please, like I'd ever not get dressed to go out." She said as she descended the stairs.

"Yeah, who am I kidding." He paused and took in her appearance. She looked beautiful and effortless. "Really, all that time and you still look the same." He jokingly teased. He tried very hard to conceal his chuckle. She reached out to swat his arm. "Hey!"

"I'm joking. You look great. Come on Addie, it doesn't matter what you do, you always look amazing." He smiled genuinely this time. They shared a small moment but she quickly broke it, not wanting to indulge in something that couldn't be. He noticed but decided not to pursue it for the time being. They locked up the house, then he guided her with a hand on the small of her back over to his car.

"So, are you gonna tell me where we're going yet?"

"Nope. You'll know when we get there."

"Fine."

"You'll like it. I swear."

"I better." She arched her eyebrow facetiously.

"So are you feeling better? I mean, from last night. The dizziness?"

"Yeah I am. I think I just needed sustenance and sleep. I'm all good...I know I said it before, but breakfast was great and the walk afterward was exactly what I needed."

"Well I know how water, well, when it isn't rain..." He smiled affectionately at her. "...has a calming affect on you. It was nice."

"Yeah, it definitely was."

"Okay, I think this is the place."

She looked around, and even though there was many shops surrounding it, she knew her surprise was Burke Williams. "Derek."

"You like it?"

"Of course. I love this place. How did you..."

"Naomi."

"Of course."

"Okay, so this is the deal. I'm gonna walk in there with you. I'll give my credit card to whoever is at the front desk and you will go and enjoy yourself, but most of all, just relax. Okay?"

"What about you? Aren't you joining me?"

"Nope, this is all about you. Besides, I've got so much more planning to do for the rest of your day."

"Derek, you don't have to go through all this trouble..."

"Addie, it's no trouble at all. I want to do this for you. Let me do this for you."

"Okay. Thank you...Can we go in now?" She asked with an excited glint in her eye.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He had been running around since he'd dropped her off an hour ago, he knew he only had a few hours left before she'd get home. He had asked Naomi to pick her up after she was done at the spa and take her to a nice lunch and some shopping, all on him. Naomi instantly obliged, but not before asking what he was up to. He simply told her it was a surprise for Addison. He knew that what he was trying to do was a huge undertaking, and it wouldn't be easy, but he wanted to do this for her. He only needed to pick up the rest of the things at Weego and he'd be set.

He got out of the car and quickly ran into the store. He had called ahead to make sure they had what he needed.

"Hi, I'm Derek Shepherd. I called a little while ago, you're holding some things for me."

"One sec, let me see...ah yes. Let me have them bring the boxes out back. Do you have a truck?"

"Yes I do. It's Silver SUV with rental plates on it. Can I pay here and then drive around?"

"Yup, just give me one sec so I can grab the bar codes."

The sales associate began to ring him up. He paid, thanked her and ran out back to his truck. They loaded him up and he was back on his way to Addison's. He drove through the traffic without any real problems and promptly arrived back at her house.

Sam was already there waiting for him. "Derek, my man." Sam went in for a handshake and hug.

"It's been ages."

"Sam, it's really damn good to see you, and I'm not just saying that because I dragged you and Naomi out of work today to help me out."

"Nah, it's all good, we're happy to help. You know I'd...we'd do anything for Addison. Besides, we had a pretty light day at the office today. Friday's are usually a bit slower for us. So how can I help?"

"Let's just start unloading things and take them upstairs. Then we'll see where we go from there."

"Sounds like a plan...and Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're stepping up...I mean I never doubted you would, but I know that things didn't end too well after...well you know. I'm just glad she's not in this alone."

"She won't be."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Nai? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at the office?"

"Well good to see you too."

Addison laughed. "No I didn't mean...I didn't expect to see you here that's all."

"Well, if you must know, your hus...Derek asked me to come pick you up."

"Oh did he? And why couldn't he come and pick me up himself?"

"I don't know. All I was told was that I should take you and myself out to lunch, then a little shopping, and not to be back for a few hours because he had some sort of thing planned for you."

"What is he up to now?"

"I don't know, but the man sounded like he was on a mission."

"Well I'm not going to turn down food and shopping, so let's get going." She smiled. "Let me check out and grab his card."

"Okay hon, I'll be waiting in the car." Naomi said as she walked out. Addison followed a few moments later.

"So where are we going?"

"It's your call. I'm here to drive you and accompany your butt for the day."

"Hmmm...how about Ivy at the Shore?"

"Sounds good to me. Do you think we should call ahead, see if we can get a table?"

"Nah, Ramona should be working today, she'll get us in."

"Okay, let's buckle up and get a move on." They drove for a few moments in silence and then Addison grew impatient. "Just ask already."

"What?"

"Oh don't play coy, it doesn't suit you."

"Fine. So what's going on between you two?"

"Nothing. He came here so that we could discuss how all of this is going to work."

"Oh come on, it's not nothing. The way that man has been looking at you since he arrived here...you can't deny that."

"This is absurd, he isn't looking at me in any way, Nai."

"Denial is not a pretty color on you Addison."

"I'm not in denial Naomi. He's only here temporarily. He'll eventually have to go back to Seattle...to get back to his life, get back to...Meredith."

"And you're okay with that?"

"It doesn't matter what I'm okay with. It's his life. He's moved on, and so had I, this should change nothing."

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

Addison couldn't answer, so she said nothing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I think that's it!" He said excitedly. "Sam, you're a good man for helping me out."

"Hey, don't mention it. I told you..."

"Yeah I know, you'd do anything for Addison." They both grew quiet, Derek finally broke the awkward silence. "Sam, can I ask you something?"

Sam had a suspicion that he knew exactly what he was going to ask him.

"Yeah."

"Are you in love with her?"

"I don't know, but I care deeply about her. I don't want her to get hurt."

"She won't."

"But she did. You put her through hell. Had I known..."

"Had you known what?" Derek tensed up. Sam felt the change in the room and stood up to his full height.

"It was a long time ago. Things worked out the way they were supposed to...I guess."

"You know, I never bought that whole 'overprotective brother thing' that you had towards her, like everyone else."

"You're a smart man."

"So what happened? You met her way before I did."

"Are you asking me why I never made my move on your ex-wife?"

"Yeah, I guess I am." Derek said, shocked that he was asking the question.

"Well...I did, but she wouldn't have me...because she knew Naomi wanted me. So she said no."

"Do you think she felt something for you?" He really didn't want to know the answer, but he had to ask.

"Honestly, I don't know."

"If your ex-wife wasn't her best friend, would you be pursing her?"

Sam thoughtfully contemplated his answer, how honest did he want to be with Derek? What was really the point in hiding it? Addison and he were divorced. Sure, they were getting ready to become parents, but that didn't change the fact that they were no longer together. And yes, he was currently testing out the waters with Naomi again, but he knew that it was only a matter of time before it combusted again. He and Naomi were just different people now. They still loved each other, but were no longer in love.

"I'd pursue her either way." He simply stated.

Derek instinctively tightened his hands on either side of him, jealousy zapped through him like a bolt of lightening. He felt like it was his duty to protect his territory like a ferocious lion who was being challenged by lion from a different tribe. "But you're not going to." Derek stated it not as a question, but as a given.

Sam gave him an incredulous smirk. "I'm going home. I'm glad I could help." Then he turned to leave.

"Sam?" Derek yelled after him.

Sam stopped at the door way. "I think Addison has more important things to worry about at the moment...besides, I'm still sorting things out with Naomi." He turned to leave again, then paused. "But I will say, that Addison knows, that no matter what, I'm always next door." and with that he left.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I think we've done plenty of damage to Derek's card."

"But everything is so cute, how could you not?" Nai replied, still looking at the cute baby outfits.

"I told you Fred Segal was the bane of my existence."

"Oh don't exaggerate, it's not so bad."

"Nai, we've been shopping for 3 hours, I think I'm ready to go home."

"Fine, but just 'cause you're carrying my little nieces or nephews in there." She said pointing at Addison's stomach. They looked at each other and chuckled. "Come on, let me buy you a smoothie and then I'll take your boney butt home."

"Haha funny Nai. It won't be boney in a couple of months."

"Oh that's true, we're finally gonna get some meat on your bones girl." She teased.

"Oh shut it."

"So you wanna get those smoothies here at the Comfort Cafe?...or you wanna go to Amazon Hut?"

"Let's just get them here, then we can go straight home."

"Sounds good to me. That way, we can go through every thing you bought for the kiddies today."

"I know! I can't wait!"

"Okay, let me go grab them. Do you wanna head out to the car with the bags?"

"Yeah!" Naomi reached into her bag to grab the keys, then handed them to Addison.

" 'Kay, I'll see you out there in a bit."

Addison made her way out to the car and packed the bags in the already filled trunk. She couldn't help but smile, it was still so surreal. Her phone rang so she reached into her purse to grab it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, how's everything going?"

"Good. We're just about done here and heading back home in a bit."

"Oh, okay...uhmm..."

"What's going on?"

"No, it's nothing. Can you give me about half an hour more, before you come back?"

"What for?"

"Just trust me, you'll love it."

"Okay, well Nai went to go grab us some smoothies. I'll go find her and we'll hang out here for a bit."

"That would be great! Okay, just leave there in about 30 minutes and that should give me plenty of time. See you soon."

"See you soon." She smiled and hung up. She shook her head, what in the world was he up to?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Who's SUV is that? Did Derek invite someone over?"

Naomi shrugged as she pulled into the driveway behind the truck. "I'll just help bring your bags in, then I...I have to go do something." She stepped out of the car and went to unlock the trunk.

"Do something? Really? Nai, I thought you said we were going to look at all the cute matching outfits we got for the twins?" Addison followed around to the trunk as well.

Derek stepped out of the house. "Hey, you're back. Here, let me help you with those." He reached for the bags that Addison was pulling out.

"Thanks. I'll get the rest of them."

"No, it's okay, I've got them Addie." Derek said over his shoulder. Addison arched her eyebrow quizzically at Naomi as he came over and grabbed the rest of the bags, then focused his attention back to Addison.

"Give me a couple of minutes and I'll come back to get you."

"Derek, what is..."

"Addie, stop being so impatient and let the man surprise you." Naomi exclaimed as she moved to stand next to her.

"Wait...were you in on this?"

"Wow, you just caught that didn't you?" She mocked teasingly.

"I'm sorry! I was relaxed into stupidity at the spa and then you bribed me with baby stuff. I clearly was never going to have the advantage in this scenario."

"Oh shush, he's been going crazy all day setting up whatever it is that he's doing. He called Sam and I to help out. So just go with it."

"So, you ready?" Derek asked as he approached her.

Addison nodded, then looked back at Naomi and smiled. Naomi waved at her friend and then made herself scarce by going to Sam's house.

"Derek, what's this all about?"

"Here, put this on." He said as he handed her a sleeping mask. She had to admit that she was really amused by all of this, so she obliged. "Now I'm going to put my arms around you, so don't get startled. Then, we're going up the stairs. So hang on to me tightly, okay?"

"Okay. Derek, I feel silly."

"Don't, we're almost there. Just a few more steps. Okay, now stand right here." He reached out to open the bedroom door. "Okay, you can take the mask off. So, what do you think?"

To say that she was surprised was an understatement. As she took in the room, a different array of emotions overtook her. It was all so perfect. Knowing of all of the thought that went into this floored her. She couldn't help it, the tears that had been threatening to spill, streamed down her face. "Oh my god, Derek! This is...this is...oh my god! It's beautiful!"

"You like it?"

"I love it! How did you do all of this?"

"Well, I had some help, and I started working on it the moment I woke up today. I'm so happy you love it Addie."

"How can I not? You practically got everything we'll need. It's gorgeous!"

"Let's go inside so you can see all the pieces." He said full of pride and self accomplishment.

As soon as she entered the room, she instantly went towards the cribs. She loved the dark chocolate mocha wood finish. She slid her hand over the fixed rail and then noticed the trundle drawer underneath, they were absolutely classic. "I got the toddler bed conversion for those two, just in case. I figured, if you wanted different beds for them, we'd just get them then." She smiled appreciatively, knowing exactly what he meant. Addison playfully put her hand through bamboo jungle mobile. She could definitely see a baby jungle theme, just not in the typical jungle colors. She made a mental note and continued her tour of the room. She noticed that he had also purchased the matching bassinets and changing table, and a dresser in the two tone dark wood. It was modern, yet functional, something she would have picked out herself. The RockABye Lullabye collection sat on top of it, with Radiohead lullaby renditions leading the pack. She chuckled and turned towards him. "I figured you'd want them to know good music." He smiled and shrugged sheepishly.

"It's perfect!"

"I'm really glad you like it. I wasn't sure if you wanted to buy them together...or on your own. I just thought, since I won't be...here as often, that this would be my gift to you. Sort of like me laying down the foundation of the room and you coloring their world...like you colored mine." He finished sincerely.

Addison's breath caught in her throat, tears began to pool in her eyes once more. She had to take a seat...this was so overwhelming. She looked around, she didn't have to say anything, he instantly knew what she needed. He came over and guided her to the corner of the room, near the balcony. "Here, I think you missed this." Addison obliged and took a seat on the rocker. To her left, she noticed the matching foot stool and smiled happily once more. He had literally thought of every big piece that they would need.

"Derek, this is so lovely. I seriously don't even know where to begin to thank you for this thoughtful gesture."

"You don't have to. I just did what any excited expectant father would do...I also got us some books. I wasn't sure which were the best, so I got several different ones." He grabbed the foot stool and sat in front of her. He got pensive and reached out to take her hand. They interlocked their fingers and then he turned to look up at her. He paused for a few moments, then spoke. "Addie, look I know we've been holding off on having this conversation, mainly because I wanted you to have this day to just enjoy..." She nodded in understanding. "I've been thinking a lot all day, about how we're going to do this. Regardless of what we work out, I'm in this 100%, I really want you to know and understand that. You won't be in this alone."

"I know." She said just above a whisper.

"Last night, I said to you that I was still in love with you, and with very good reason, you didn't believe me. I'll say it to you as many times as you need to hear it, so that you'll be convinced of it's truth. But I don't want to push you, if you don't feel the same, there is nothing I can do. I just thought that perhaps you still did. I felt our connection that night we spent together, I wanted so badly to ask you to stay. I didn't know how to, after all the pain that was caused. I just wanted you to be happy and I didn't know that I could give you that. The memories will always be there between us, like a ghost, haunting and taunting. So I'll ask you now...Addie do you want to give this...us, a try? I know it may be much to consider now, but just think about it and then let me know."

Addison was quiet, contemplating what he had just said to her. Could it really be this easy? After his indifference, her affair, his affair, the humiliation, emotional and mental abuse that they put each other through, then ultimately their divorce, could it all be swept under the rug just like that? A part of her really wanted to believe. She loved him, had never stopped, but felt like after that night, that it was time to let go, so that they could attempt to be happy with other people. That night was suppose to be them closing the book on their love story, one that unfortunately, wouldn't have a happy ending, but could it? Somehow, fate had other plans in store for them. They were now, god-willing, going to be parents, to not one, but two beautiful babies. Against practically all the odds, she was pregnant, and not just with anyone, with him.

"I do believe you. In spite of everything, I really do. I know you won't let me go through this alone. I also know, and feel, that you still love me...I'm still in love with you, but is that enough? Derek, we put each other through hell. Seattle was horrible. The way you treated me, staying with me while having an emotional affair with her, knowing that it was only a matter of time before I lost you completely, I was suffocating there and couldn't get out, because I couldn't give up on us. When I realized that you had chosen her, I was devastated. Even though I understood why you couldn't forgive me, I never imagined that you would actually not choose our love in the end." He wanted to speak, but she quickly put up her hand to stop him. "Please let me finish."

He nodded. "It's in the past, I had to leave it there because the hurt was eating away at me, but I will say, that before we made love that night, I spoke with Meredith. I couldn't understand how she could just let you go? How you could let her go? I gave up on our marriage because you both were supposed to be it and I could no longer stand in the way. I thought...god, he deserves to be happy, my love for you transcended my own pain. So I left. I left because I couldn't be without you, but I still wanted you to have what you wanted, what I thought made you happy. It killed me to know that it was no longer me. So, as much as I want to say 'YES let's do this, let's be together and raise a beautiful family', as much as every fiber in my being wants that, as much as I do believe what you're saying...I don't trust it. I can't trust it. You haven't even really given yourself a shot with her, so how do I know, that after the excitement of knowing you're going to be a father, that you won't begin to resent me, or the babies, because you never fully realized this epic love affair with Meredith?

"Addison?"

"I know it's sounds insane! Believe me I do! It's crazy that when you're telling me everything I want to hear, I'm sending you back to the woman you left me for. I just need you to be sure Derek. You haven't really been able to be with her, and if we were to do this, a part of you may always wonder. As much as I want to be with you, I don't want you to have any regrets and I...I deserve to know for sure."

"I don't know what to say, Addison. I know what I want, and I want you. Yes, I may have been thinking of moving forward with Meredith, but I hadn't even broken it off with Rose. When you called me, I was on my way to do that, and then it didn't matter, none of it did."

"But that's what I mean Derek, I wasn't even on your radar until I called you to give you the news."

"That's not true. If it were true, I wouldn't be wavering between these two women. Yes, I won't deny that I love Meredith, a part of me always will, she helped pull me out of the abyss I was in after what happened with us." Addison couldn't help but wince. Derek quickly added. "I'm not saying that to hurt you, I needed someone at that moment and it just happened to be her. None if it matters though, because when I was standing on my porch looking over at Meredith, the only person I was thinking of was you...when I met you, our dreams, our marriage, where we went wrong, and then our goodbye at the airport. I felt that I had no choice, I had to move on, and why not with Meredith? After all, like you said, at one point I thought she was important enough to end our marriage for. But then you called and it was easy to leave, nothing else mattered. Yes, I had doubts and questions, but getting to you was the most important thing. Look, I understand you being weary, so if I have to prove to you that you're it for me, then I will. As soon as I get back, I'm telling her the truth, and then I'm putting an end to this back and forth once and for all."

"Derek, I just need you to try with her, I need you to really really try. I know it doesn't make sense to you, but if you don't try, then all of it was for nothing. Don't you get it? It means that you threw our marriage away for nothing! I know I fucked up myself, I slept with your best friend, and after you left, as horrible as it sounds, I stayed with him. You know why? Because I needed to know that I didn't ruin our lives together for just one night. That's what this would be...any progress and new promises that we made when we decided to try again, would have been for nothing. All because of one fuck and black panties." She said louder than she expected, as she let go of his hands. He instantly reached out to her.

"Don't, don't pull away from me, please." She allowed him to take a hold of her hands once more, the tension that had taken over her, gradually dissipating. Derek slowly loosened his grip on her hands, then reached to wrap his arms around her. She stiffened for a moment and then surrendered herself into his warm embrace. His head moved forward to find hers, and she leaned over, wanting to feel him closer as well. Their foreheads touched, resting against each other intimately.

I was just guessing

At numbers and figures

Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science

Science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart

Oh tell me you love me

Come back and haunt me

Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles

Chasing our tails

Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy

Oh, it's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ah ooh ooh ooh ooh

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh