Yep – I'm updating on time again. Actually, I've got into the habit of uploading on Tuesday then just posting on Wed, but you don't really need to know that, do you? Anyway, onto the story!
DISCLAIMER: As much as I regret it, Anthony Horowitz owns Alex Rider. I'm simply having fun with his characters.
***
He walked as if no one would even think of stopping him, and no one did. If only it had been this easy to get out earlier.
When he burst out of the door to the outside he broke into a run. He had no clue where he was going, just that he needed to run.
But no matter how fast or how far he ran, he couldn't out run the almost unbearable grief that swept over him. Jack had been dead for almost two years and yet he still couldn't shake the guilt for her death.
It was his fault she was dead. If he had followed his orders, MI6 would have protected her and she would be alive.
... and Amethyst would be dead, David a prisoner and Yassen manipulated in much the same way as he had been.
And he felt guilty about even considering the possibility of acting differently.
Grief and guilt and guilt. All of it burnt a hole in his heart, a hole that couldn't be filled, no matter how Amethyst or Yassen or David tried.
Over the years he had learnt to hide it, but it never lessened, never went. He had learnt to live with it.
He realised he had come to a halt, barely fifty metres from the warmly lit building he had been in, and was staring unseeing into the dark. Footsteps behind him made him turn around and he recognised Graham's heavyset, muscular form approaching through the darkness.
He put a reassuring hand on Alex's shoulder.
"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"
Alex sighed, and sank down onto the dry ground.
"She was my guardian. She was killed because of me. Because of who I am and what I did."
"Why?" asked Graham, "Why is it your fault?"
"Because it is," snapped Alex.
Graham looked taken aback for a moment and the two of them subsided into silence, Graham sliding down to join Alex on the floor.
"So how did you get into this mess?" asked Graham.
"It's a long story," muttered Alex. "I guess you could say it runs in my blood."
"What, the espionage part or the getting in trouble part?" asked Graham, raising an eyebrow.
"Probably both," admitted Alex with a lopsided and slightly subdued grin. "My uncle died when I was fourteen. They told me it was in a car crash, but I didn't believe them. Turns out I was right – he was shot. MI6 then tell me that the skills I've shown in investigating my uncle's death are exactly the sort they're looking for and that all my hobbies and interests have been my uncle's way of training me, so they forcibly recruit me. Two years later they contact me again and ask me to become an assassin. I agree on the condition they keep Jack safe – that's Starbright's sister, by the way – but I mess up on an assignment because I know the person. I don't kill them and get them sent out of the country safely, but MI6 see it as treason and send SAS to kill me. Wolf came, but couldn't kill me, I don't know why. He helped me fake my death and I flee the country. Two years after that, I join the army and wind up here."
"They asked you to be an assassin after one mission two years previously?" asked Graham, doubtfully.
Alex pulled a face. "Four for MI6, two for the CIA, one for the ASIS, one independently and one privately for a member of MI6 who couldn't get backing from the higher ups."
"You sound busy," said Graham wryly.
"I would have failed my GCSE's if they hadn't dropped me when they did," admitted Alex.
"And what's the story with Wolf?" asked Graham. "He seems filled with his sense of duty. I can't imagine him abandoning it for a stranger, even if they were just a kid."
"I trained with him before my first mission," admitted Alex.
There was a moment of silence, then Alex spoke again.
"You're taking this awfully calmly," said Alex.
"I've decided that it's all a dream and I'll wake up in a few hours to find myself back in the trenches," joked Graham.
Alex snorted.
"Come on, we better get back. Tom is bound to be doing something stupid," said Alex.
***
Despite Alex's misgivings, there were no more surprises until they were about to leave for the night and then Wolf, in Alex's opinion, did something very, very stupid.
"I am requesting permission to accompany them on the mission," he said, snapping to attention in front of Mrs Jones.
Alex gave him a flat look. "Has everyone turned insane?" he asked, incredulously. "This is a suicide mission, Wolf. We're all going to die."
Wolf turned to look at him. "How many suicide missions did you go on and come out alive?" he asked.
"I nearly died every time!" exclaimed Alex.
"But you didn't."
"That's not the point!"
"That's exactly the point," said Wolf. "And besides, I figure I still owe you for saving my life."
Alex frowned in confusion. "When did I save your life?" he asked, nonplussed. "We're even for the plane after Point Blanc. If anything I owe you one for helping me two years ago."
"Just think about it, Cub," said Wolf, quietly. "I'm sure it'll come to you eventually."
***
They made an unscheduled stop over in Germany, on Alex's request. Wolf had authorised the change so, as far as Alex was aware, Mrs Jones didn't know. He wasn't about to narrow down her search for Yassen if he could help it.
But as loath as he was to bring any sort of danger to them, he had to admit that if they wanted a chance of surviving this, they would need all the help they could get and that meant retrieving some of the equipment he and Yassen had collected in the last two years – probably out of paranoia, but it was coming in useful now. With that and what Smithers had secretly provided (the box had rolled into his room one night of its own accord. The note attached had told him it was for him to distribute as he saw fit and he should not under any circumstances allow Jones to know of the box) they couldn't be better equipped.
But it was still a mission that involved going into enemy territory without being caught, somehow rescue a high security prisoner and only then would they find out what the mission really was. Knowing his luck, it would involve assassinating the president.
Even the best equipment in the world could only help so much when the chances of success were so slim.
When they arrived that evening, he left them in the jeep they had commandeered and went in. Amethyst was in the kitchen.
"Alex!" she said, surprised to see him again so soon. "You didn't get injured again, did you?" she asked, suspiciously.
He shook his head and began to explain.
***
A/N: And now you can go straight onto the next chapter! Yay! Aren't I nice?