It's been a while! But I decided that after writing so much I just needed a break. But then the break became longer than I meant… but I'm back!
I just want to say, that in case anyone's wondering; Heart just got the short end of the stick a lot recently. He can fight well, just not as well as those that have fought recently, a.k.a. the Guardians. It's been a while for him, a long while.
Also, Heart isn't the only one that talks to MiM on a regular basis. I feel that a lot of the spirits turn to him to guidance as none of the spirits are alone.
It was in the air where I shared my first kiss with someone who was about to kill me. It was in the air when I shared with him the memories he had forgotten. It was in the air that I held him and we both cried. It was in the air that everything was fixed and everything made sense. On the ground we stood and stared. On the ground we saw each other in a new light. And on the ground I fell to hit the blue ice I love so much.
I saw myself, walking in a beautiful garden like in the time before time. There was no one around no matter where I went. I was alone, completely and utterly alone. Again. I spent my time looking, hoping to find someone or even a way out of the garden. But it didn't matter, no matter which direction I went, I found only plants that met me. I was sad, for I had finally had an experience that I wanted, I kissed someone. I was stuck in this garden for as long as I could remember.
As I wandered around the beautiful land, it kept getting colder and colder. I was starting to freeze when I realized I was naked, but as I looked around for clothes I noticed that all the foliage had turned to ice and the ground was covered in snow. I tried to find a place to stay or to dig into the snow, but for some reason any snow I picked up melted away in my hands. And so I kneeled on the ground, ready to die. And when death came, I woke up.
I was sweating under a small tower of blankets somewhere. I sat up quickly looking for familiar signs. Yet again, I was greeted by familiar pain around my whole body. Lowering my body back down slowly, taking in my surroundings. I was in a room, white and blue, pretty, but clearly made out of ice. I moved the one arm I could without hurting it, and lifted it up to my eyes. There were bandages wrapped around me, blue fleece that was torn from something and cold to the touch.
"Jack…" I whispered, staring at the bandages in disbelief. "Where am I?" But then I felt the room move in a slow up movement and then quickly back down; it did not help the pain I was having. I grunted and soon I saw a white haired head pop out from a hole I couldn't see in the ceiling.
"Jack." I spoke softly, almost trying to not get his attention.
"Oh, you're awake. I bandaged you up as well as I could. I also found some blankets for you." His voice was almost as quiet as mine was, but it was dripping with regret. The room heaved again, but this time it had a left-right component to it.
"Where, what?" I asked, looking around at the surrounding ice.
"I, uh, I made it!" He said with a little too much energy. "It's a boat and we're heading to Sanderson's island."
"Why has no one come to pick us up?" I meekly asked, I needed to cough, but not enough air was staying in my lungs long enough.
"MiM isn't answering me, I don't even know if he can hear me… or if he cares." Jack explained. His eyes were searching for forgiveness, and all I could do is stare back. He beat me and then beat me to near death, each time wanting to finish the job; my remorse for him was almost gone. The only thing I felt is glad that his grudge is gone, and embarrassed about what I had to do to make it go away.
"I'll let you rest." He said, returning to the deck of the ship. I was trapped on a boat with someone who almost killed me. This is exactly where I want to be. But it's not like I could do much, I couldn't even tell if my wings were absorbed or not; they probably got the brunt of a lot of cold damage done to my system. Eventually the movement of the makeshift boat lulled me to sleep once again. Luckily, for my sake, it was a dreamless one.
I woke to movement of the boat, some sort of jolting, then stillness. After a few moments, there was movement directly to my right as the side of the boat came undone. Jack had removed the side of the boat in order to get me out. It was kind of touching, but I also half expected him to try crushing me with it. He then pulled me out on my bed of ice, making sure to do it slowly.
There wasn't a lot light on his isle of sand, or at least not during the night. The moon's light was the only thing to see by, but Jack still managed to get us near the center. He stopped to fly around the island a few times.
"Sandy! Sanderson!" Jack was calling. He was probably out giving wonderful dreams to children who needed it. "Sandy! Sandman! Sandster! Mr. Mansnoozie! Mr. Snooze-a-lot! Meh-snooze-ula!" He kept calling for what must have been a ten minutes.
"Don't sweat it Jack, he's probably out giving dreams. You've done a lot today, sit down." I advised. He didn't sit down right away; he proceeded to make a fuss over me.
"Are you sure? After what I did to you?" I just nodded in response. He still managed to prolong his own rest by simply trying to make me more comfortable. He dug into the sand and placed the ice bed into it, making sure it was not going to move. Afterwards he sat down maybe ten feet away and looked up to watch the stars.
"You do know I am sorry for all I've done, right Heart?" I knew; there was no way I couldn't. His whole attitude was different, even his body language.
"Yeah, I know. I just wish I didn't have to get beaten up." I saw him cringe with what must have been guilt. "Too soon?" I asked him.
"Yeah, but I'm glad to see you are taking it in stride."
"If I didn't, I'd be-" A coughing fit came over me and I couldn't catch my breath for a while. I was gasping for air and I couldn't get any. As soon as it died down I looked towards the other spirit, who had moved closer and was nearly on top of me on the bed.
"Jack, I understand you feel guilty, but you don't have to take this much care of me." I was getting worried about his immediate change to the other side of the spectrum of obsession.
"That's where you're wrong. I've been a colossal ass." There were tears just ready to be streaming from his eyes, "And so far the only way I can see to make it up for you is to at least get you healed and then… and then… and then…" Sure enough, he started crying. He hadn't thought that far ahead, but who could blame him? Having a mind corrupted by rage and revenge and then having it as clear as it was when you were at peace, it's bound to make the strongest spirit unstable.
"Don't cry." I coughed again, this time just once though I did taste the metallic tang of blood. "You're fine now, you aren't filled with hate. If anyone should be sorry, it's me."
And there we stayed for a while, two forgiveness-wanting spirits just looking at each other. Jack eventually moved from the bed and down to the sand, using it as a bed of his own. He fell asleep soon, he must have been exhausted. Soon his light snoring was matching the sound of the waves. Then, something interesting happened. The sand took above his head and danced there, taking various shapes that seemed to have no link. For a moment I thought I saw something strange in the sand, but then a scene started playing out, something that dealt with the split of two people. Then he went with the person- oh. He was dreaming of the breakup. I turned away to not have to see it all play out again.
The night went by slowly; I could barely sleep with how much rest I had already gotten. Jack's dreams kept coming, but all I had to do was not pay attention, which was harder than I could have thought. Some of them were really big, fighting Pitch and winning, playing jokes, and making a few ice rinks. Again I thought I saw something funny, something not right, but it turned to the moment of the kiss and I was teary-eyed. I saw a small portion from his perspective, the hate and anger just turning into clarity, confusion, and remorse.
Again I looked away and, this time, closed my eyes. I kept them shut for a while, but then succumbed to my own dreams. I saw the garden again and remembered being alone. I still found no one, and still couldn't find anything. I wandered into ice, but this time it was a different path. As I was close to death, yet again, I saw someone in the distance. I tried getting closer and closer, but I wasn't able to continue moving. Again I froze and again I woke up.
I expected it to be daytime, but it was only a little bit lighter when I awoke. Jack was still in dreamland, playing and having more fun than I would dream possible, but I stopped watching to stare out at sea. It was nice, seeing the clouds and the sea in the early morning.
"MiM?" I whispered up to the sky. "Don't ignore Jack anymore. He's better, I think." I asked. There was no reply from him, "He's done a lot for me, sailed here from Antarctica. He took care of me, kept me surprisingly warm in a ship of ice." The coughing resumed and I tried to stifle the noise so Jack wouldn't awake.
Eventually the coughs subsided and I was left on a slab of ice. The sun rays danced off the water as it splashed onto the shore. Yet it wasn't the sun that was giving off the light, it was a cloud of golden sand. Sanderson. I mused, he must be returning from a bit of his duties.
He noticed us immediately, a weird blue-white dot on his otherwise yellow island. His flight changed patterns as he veered toward us.
"Hey Sandy." I muttered as he floated his sand cloud next to us. A question mark rose above his head, his question very obvious.
"I stopped Jack, though it hurt." He showed a few pictures, two people fighting, a snowflake, and a bow and arrow. "Mhm, I barely fought back but I lasted a lot longer than before. But I think what I did probably stopped him for good and quelled his anger." He showed another question mark and sent his sand over my body. It started to glow softly and was warm to the touch. "I may have kissed him. It was a last ditch effort, and I shared with him some memories." This time it was his face that looked confused and had two lips touching then two minds colliding over and over in his sand-speak. "I had no idea I could do it either, it was either kiss him, or die… or both." I hesitantly laughed, finally taking full notice of the glowing sand.
"What are you doing to me?" Sanderson motioned to his own body and put a small plus sign filling up over his head. "Uh… healing? I guess?" He nodded quickly and proceeded to make a large and then a small plus sign. When he made the large one, he shook his head and the small one he nodded. "You can't heal a large amount at a time?" He confirmed this with a nod as he came to sit in between Jack and me.
We sat there waiting, me silent and him oddly quieter than normal. Eventually he started waving his hands and streams of sand went toward the east, must have been sending dreams to some children.
"I don't mean to keep you from your duties." Sandy made a notion with his hand that it didn't matter that much. We waited for Jack to awaken, watched the odd nighttime sparkle upon the water. I didn't have to cough any more, but I didn't have full use of my body back. Sanderson must have had some rudimentary training in healing from Ombric, Katherine, or Bunnymund, but it was enough to alleviate my pain.
The night sky faded in my mind and I returned to dreams of my own; a garden leading to ice with someone in the distance. I tried getting closer to escape my loneliness but again I froze before I got anywhere close. But then I floated in darkness for a while, resorting to think about my own thoughts. There I was able to remember the garden and remember the battle with Jack. More importantly, I remembered what happened in between. As all that happened to me rushed back, the loneliness grew and grew until it was shattered by words.
"Other than hate and annoyance again." Jack was awake and must have been talking to Sanderson. I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to potentially invite the conversation turning to me.
"I don't really know what happened. He kissed me and then I remembered every detail of my life, not just happy ones or the final one." There were a few moments of silence.
"I had a daughter." His voice cracked, "My little girl, Annabelle. I forgot about her, my own daughter." There was a small pause, "My darling Anna." I shifted in my fake sleep, turning my head away from the other spirits. "How could I forget someone so dear to me?"
"There are a lot of things people forget. Children's teeth only contain the happiest of memories with fragments from adulthood." I spoke up; I didn't want him to think it was his fault for something that was flawed with all of humanity.
"How did you see the memories when I didn't?" The sound of sand moving indicating that he shifted in his seat.
"There are secrets I can't reveal Jack, secrets that are protected by promises. And those are protected by under punishment of death."
"You'll die if you tell us?" Jack asked. I shifted back around to face them, Sanderson seemed equally confused.
"Probably not, but I won't be taking that risk." But they still weren't completely sure if they could believe me. "I'm sorry, but I won't tell you." I finalized.
"I guess that is that." Jack nodded towards Sanderson after a few moments of silence. "Can I get you anything Heart?"
"No, no. Thank you though." I gave him a small smile. "You really did a number on me. Remind me not to get you too angry ever again." I was enjoying this time, the light from the sun growing more and more while the blanket of sand revitalized me.
"Before or after I kick your butt again?" He smiled back. It was nice to see him smile even after getting beaten.
"Preferably before!" We laughed for a few seconds, but a small cough erupted from my lungs and cut us short. Sandy made a few symbols: a bed, an arrow pointing at me, and some z's floating in the air. "Alright, I'll finish resting. I'm good for sleep right now though." I added, seeing him grab a handful of sand. He nodded to me and then looked at Jack and blew a good portion in his face. His body relaxed and he fell backwards to the welcoming sand. Sanderson smiled and walked away, probably to tend to his tendrils of sand snaking across the world. I decided to do the same and check my appointment book really quickly.
"Sandy!" I called out, having him turn back. "Could you do me another favor?" I grew my wings out to check if they worked, and immediately regretted the decision. I cried out in unexpected pain as their form took shape. My body must have put them away to shield me from the pain I was experiencing. At least one of them was broken. Luckily Sanderson was quick with his glowing sand and covered the wings in it as well. "Thank you," I gasped, "But that wasn't the favor I meant… Could you take a small sack of powder to Brazil? There's a meeting that I can't make for a couple, Jill and Janette." He looked at me like I was going insane. "Hey, don't blame me that the world keeps turning!" He put up a profile of a person and a question mark and motioned a small sprinkling motion. Then he made a small sack and a question mark as well. "Ah, I have a book in my back right pocket that will show you who. Just grab a small bit of dust from the back left pocket too." I informed him. Soon sand was reaching behind me and gently pulling out the book and sand. "Thank you so much!" I said, and he turned and ascended on his golden cloud.
"Is he gone?" Jack asked after a few minutes. "I woke up when you grew your wings, I'm sorry again." I nodded in acceptance whether or not he could see it.
"I'm surprised you're awake. Sanderson's sand is some mighty powerful stuff." I chuckled.
"And so are your screams of pain… When Hearts hurt, they're easy to hear." I found myself blushing, surprised that he would say something like that. I stayed silent, thinking about what has happened.
"You know," his pause was unbearably long, "I don't hate you anymore." He was searching for what I thought and felt and I was a bit reluctant to give it up. No one ever really cared about what I felt.
"I don't think I hate you, I just wish you would have talked to me."
"So do I. I just couldn't see anything but Jamie, he was really wonderful and now I don't know what to do without him." He must have been crying, as he took a moment to bring his hand to his eyes. "I… I'm scared." Jack was showing everything, holding nothing back.
"Jack, stop, please." I looked away from him. I fear his obsession is switching to the opposite spectrum. "Please don't. I can't hear this." I could hear his heart fall. He was right; when hearts hurt they're easy to hear. "Sorry, I didn't mean it that way… I, um, I'm worried about you. You hated me so much, so thoroughly. Now you're worried more deeply than anyone I know."
"I thought about that too. I don't know what it is, but I feel this pull to you," he responded rather quickly, "but I don't know what it means."
"I wish I could tell you, but it could be just that this is the main event in our lives meeting and destiny is having its way with us." I neglected to speak of the other option, in which he actually found me attractive, and focused on some fickle-finger-of-fate idea. That's how I like to see it, though he isn't unattractive. I'm glad my first kiss was with him.
"Maybe, maybe not. I guess time will tell." He muttered.
"Tell that to Ombric!" We laughed for a little bit, Ombric was always dragging some things out and cutting others short. Resigning ourselves to silence, we watched the light grow and grow until it was only a bit more than a light bulb around the whole island for a solid hour.
"I guess this is as bright as it gets." Jack spoke up.
"Good for sleeping."
"I wonder just how much Sandy sleeps himself."
"Probably a lot. Knowing him, he might be asleep if he's on his way back from Brazil right now."
"Yeah…" Our conversation trailed off. But it wasn't enough. I wanted to have the talk with him that we should have had instead of fighting.
"Jack?"
"Yep?"
"Why did you fight me so ferociously? Was it because of Jamie?" I asked, digging farther.
"Maybe. At least, partially. You did break Jamie and I up."
"Please don't remind me. It's something I'd rather not remember in detail." I remembered everything about it though, and I always will. Only the saddest of memories are clear, and each ending of the human and spirit couples are most of them. "Have you ever been angry at anything else?"
There was a pause before he answered, he must have been thinking. "Loneliness? Maybe MiM early for having me come back? Otherwise not that I can remember."
"Any other reasons for possibly being angry?"
"I think just the anger. Maybe being scared helped me go crazy." Something he was thinking of must have been amusing as he was laughing after the statement. "But that's probably not a very good explanation for everything I've done to you."
"Well, when people feel conflicting things, they get confused. In your case, I guess you went bonkers."
"Yeah, it was pretty scary. I wasn't sure if I'd actually come back from it."
"You felt yourself falling into chaos?" I wondered out loud.
"Of course. I was completely along with the ride too." I was surprised at his response. "I mean, I really didn't like you. I really didn't like anyone."
We stayed silent for a moment. Neither of us wanted to talk and break the silence. We wanted to share this moment as long as we could. Him figuring out what he felt and I wondering what was ultimately happening. What am I feeling? If only I could have experience to compare what I'm starting to feel now. I searched my thoughts, my memories for a situation that this could apply. Maybe with her, all those years and years ago. But it's been so long, so dreadfully, unbearably long.
"Hey Jack, thanks for getting me here and talking. It was…" I struggled to find the right word to help break the silence. My worries haven't abated about his obsession and I couldn't hint at what I was thinking. "Refreshing. Thanks."
"No problem, I should be thanking you though." I smiled at his kindness.
"I think it's time for me to sleep again, the pain has lessened and I believe I'm able to sleep."
"Alright, thanks again Heart." I slept almost immediately, it washing over me in a swift motion.
Once again I was in a garden. It was still beautiful and still wonderful but it had an aspect I couldn't put a finger on. I felt like I wasn't alone, that there was someone there. As the garden progressed to its icy state, I kept searching and searching for whoever was there with me. I searched every tree, bush, snow drift, and cave, yet I found no one. That is until I saw a silhouette in the distance. They must have been running from me and I was running towards them for no matter how far I moved, they were still far ahead. As I crawled along the ground I died again, without knowing who was there.
"Are you asleep yet?" A tired Jack looked at the broken spirit. "I guess so; wow, that was fast. I loved Jamie for so long and you didn't do anything. Why didn't you stop it earlier?" He begged the sleeping spirit. "Couldn't you see I was doing something that couldn't be? Couldn't you see anything besides the humans? Couldn't you see me?" Fresh tears fell from his eyes which he wiped away quickly. "I don't know what it is. I didn't know that this could be, but it's stronger than how it was with him. Please, I fear I love you." There was no reply from the sleeping spirit, but he didn't expect any either. He was sure it was stronger than with Jamie. However, he didn't want to get hurt again, or worse, hurt Heart. "Heart… please, tell me I'm wrong."
I'm back from a while of writing! I wrote some of the Teen Titans fic, and then took a break. Problem is that I took too long of a break, but now I'm back!