Summary: Death is only the beginning. The ones we love never really leave us. And sometimes we have to die before we can really live.
AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed my story you guys make my day. I try to answer everyone's review if I can. And thanks to everyone who followed or favorited my story. You guys really have no idea how much that means you to me. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my story. Updates will happen every weekend, if I can do two a week awesome for me but I am aiming for one a week and like I said on the weekend. Anyway on to the story I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Arrow sadly. If I did Oliver and Felicity would already be together and forever and Thea would be back home where she belongs. Seeing how that has not happened you can tell I don't own it.
He's a soldier; he has lost good men in battle. Some friends, others people he never got a chance to know, but he knows about death. So this really shouldn't bother him as much as it does. But he loves this girl. It's his sister, maybe not in blood but in every other sense of the word. He has buried too many people over the years; he never wanted to add her to the list. But now he has to, because she is gone and she is never coming back. He has always been able to compartmentalize his feelings especially with death. He will have to do the same now, except he is having a very hard time doing it right now. And he thinks he will never be able to do that with this death. And part of him dies with that knowledge or maybe it died when he saw her on the sword. He's not for sure and he really doesn't care. He can't think about it right now. He's a soldier and he still has mission to do. There is still a threat that needs to be handle and people that still need to be protected. Although he thinks that should fall on the hero of Starling City not him, but the Arrow won't be able to focus on anything right now or maybe ever. He is not coming back from this maybe none of them are but he can't focus on that right now. But it seems that is all he is able to focus on and it tears him up inside because he knows that is not what she would have wanted. But it doesn't matter now because she's gone and someone has to pay the price and Slade will pay the price. Of this Diggle is certain. The moment is coming.
He's a solider so he notices everything around him, his surroundings. Being aware of his surroundings has saved his life more times than he can count. He just wishes right now he wasn't aware of everything. Because he is aware of everyone's heart breaking and it just hurts so damn much. The Lances are taking care of each other, making sure they are each okay. Of course they are oaky. Of course Laurel is okay, she was never really in any danger. Like he told Oliver a while back it's always going to be Laurel damn everyone else. Except he knows that's not true anymore. Because if push came to shove it was going to be Felicity he would save. And Felicity would have hated that so she did what she always does. She puts everyone else above herself, knowing what the outcome would be. He wonders if he should be worried about Laurel. The woman is a risk especially now that she knows the secret. Now she knows who the Arrow is. Will she still hunt him down, turn over the knowledge to her bosses? He doesn't know and frankly if she does it, not only will he lose all respect for her, he will take her out. Felicity's sacrifice will not be in vain. So he will keep his eye on her look for any signs that she will betray them. Then and only then will he act. Screw what the others say; he was never very fond of her anyway. The way she goes back and forth on all of her decisions just makes no sense to him. But neither does daytime soap operas either and he seems to have been thrust into one. But still he will lie in wait and see what she does. But he has a plan for all outcomes for whatever she does. Thunder crashes in the distance. The moment is coming.
Detective Lance looks like he knew the whole time. And Diggle is pretty sure he did. He is not worried about him and he never will be. Detective Lance is a good man and Felicity loved him like a father just, like he loved her like a daughter. He really wishes Lance didn't have to go through this again, but sadly the universe doesn't listen to him and Lance has to bury someone else he loved except this time there is no coming back. He hears Lance walk over to Oliver and Felicity but stop just shy of them. He can't see him in his peripheral vision. Maybe he doesn't want to intrude on them or maybe he doesn't want to see it up close. He can't really blame him; he doesn't want to see it either so he keeps his eyes trained on the man in front of him. He hears him whisper something, he can't make it out he is too far away. Maybe he is saying he is sorry that they didn't get to her in time or maybe it's a prayer. He is not for sure and he really doesn't care to be honest. What he can hear is pants rustling and the kid crying. The crying is muffled and now he knows why, Lance stopped to be with Roy, someone has to be there for him. And it sounds like Lance has decided to take that on himself. Like he is the right man for the job and maybe he is. Lord knows none them are. He can't even look over there towards the scene. Oliver is too focused on Felicity. Sara is checking on Laurel and Laurel well she really has no idea what the hell is going on. So it should be Lance, he is the only one that might be able to hold all of them together for right now. The moment is coming.
He wonders if should point his gun at Roy. He has the mirakuru in his system and right now he is definitely not in control. And he and Felicity were really close. But right now the kid is too distraught to focus on anything other than crying his little eyes out. But he will keep an eye on him just to make sure. After all once the grief ends he is going to be angry, really angry and that is going to be ugly, very ugly. But for right now he is going to let him have his grief and worry about him later. He feels bad for the kid; Felicity always went out of her way for him. Always gave him a hug when she thought he needed it. Stood up against Oliver when he was being too hard on Roy. Felicity was the older sister and sometimes mom to Roy. She showed him that it was okay to love someone and that yes he did deserve to be loved. Roy has lost so much as is, and now he has to lose someone else. And it really isn't fair. He will make sure Roy knows that just because Felicity is gone doesn't mean the others are going to abandon him or cut him loose. Felicity called them Team Arrow and when she thought no one was listening called them the Arrow Family. And he will make sure that Roy knows that it is still true. He won't leave him; Felicity would be pissed if he did that. Besides you never leave a man behind. He never did in the past and he will be damned if he starts doing it now. The kid is stuck with them whether he likes it or not. They say blood is thicker than water, well maybe they don't share the same blood but they have shed blood together and he thinks that means so much more. If he has to drill that in Roy's head then so be it, he will. This kid is never going to be alone again. It's what she would have wanted. And he will not fail her on this. The moment is coming.
Sara comes over him to help him guard Slade, as if he needed her help. For just a moment he blames her for all of this. If she just had actually died on that boat then none of this would have happened. The woman Slade loved Shado would still be alive and Slade would not be on a vendetta from hell and Felicity would still be alive. But Sara did live and Shado did die and now Felicity died at the hands of a mad man and nothing can change that. So why focus on the what ifs when he needs to be focusing on the here and now? And besides he likes Sara and Felicity adored her. He just hates the circumstances that they all find themselves in. So no he won't hate her because it's not her fault. She didn't ask for any of this, it was just the hand that was dealt. And he knows she probably wishes she could go back in time and fix everything. Sara is not a bad person he really needs to accept that. Needs to accept what has happened so he can continue to fix the city and the heroes that protect it. Lord knows they are going to need someone to keep them grounded now more than ever. And that's what Felicity would have wanted. So he will do it, he will live for her, and not hate Sara for her, and accept everything that happened for her. He owes her that, hell they all do. Sara is crying and not a painful wail like Roy, no it's silent like his. Because their pain needs to be silent so that they aren't showing any weakness. They will hold their pain in and silently die a little bit each day until one day there is nothing left. When that day comes Sara will fade away, and he won't be there to pick up the pieces because he will be gone too. Faded away in the dark where nothing lives and no one light can ever reach him. The moment is coming.
Slade is in shock, and all he wants to do is take his gun and put a bullet in this man's brain. But he holds out because he won't taint her sacrifice with his vengeance. No he will wait, and he will make Slade knows what's in store for him. But why Slade cares is beyond him. Didn't he want someone to die tonight? Maybe because he never thought that someone would stand in the way, show him that there is always hope and always light if you let it in. How does one handle it when you get everything you want just not the way you want it? What will he do now that his plan has been fulfilled? Did he think that through? Will he retire now to some where warm and tropical or cold and desolate like himself? Did he plan on ending his life to join his love when it was all over? Or does he plan on surrendering himself and spend the rest of his life in prison? He doesn't think Slade has the answer to any of his questions. It doesn't look like he had a plan after this. It doesn't look like he thought someone would sacrifice themselves for someone he hates and believes doesn't deserve that type of love. But that was Felicity, she always thought that everyone especially Oliver deserved that type of love. She probably could have broken down all the walls Slade had up like she did with everyone else. Maybe that's why Slade is so shocked because he knows it too. Maybe she reminds him of Shado. Oliver always said she was kind and honest and sweet. That describes Felicity to a tee. Maybe that's what is bothering Slade so much because he killed someone who was just like Shado. He accused Oliver of being cold and heartless and a monster, maybe he has discovered he has become that as well. It doesn't matter, she is gone, they both are gone and that's never going to change. The moment is coming.
He can hear Oliver crying, but he can't look over. If he looks over all of his resolve would fall away and he would break down as much as Oliver. He has to keep a level head because someone has to be there for Oliver. That is what Felicity would want. She would want someone to protect Oliver and look out for him like she did. Of course no one loved him like she did. And he didn't love anyone like he did her. What will be left of Oliver when they lay her to rest when they say their final goodbyes? Oliver is going to do one of two options, he will either run and this time no one will ever find him or he will end his own life. Neither is an option he looks forward to having to face. But he will be there to pull him out of his own darkness as much as he can. Tell him that she didn't sacrifice herself for him to be swallowed by the darkness. They owe it to her to live. Live for her like she would want them to. He hears the whispers on the wind I love you, please stay with me, don't go, please don't leave me alone. He wants to cry because his heart breaks so much at those words. And he doesn't think anyone will be able to save Oliver from himself, in fact he knows this. When they lay her to rest they will be doing the same thing sooner rather than later with Oliver. If he is going to be optimistic he thinks Oliver will last a good month before they have to lay him down. But really he thinks it's going to be about a week, two weeks tops. And that breaks his heart because he is going to be losing his two best friends and he doesn't believe that he, himself will be able to survive that. The skies grow dark and the feeling is in the air and he can't bear to listen to Oliver continually sob. He shuts it all down and ignores it all or he will be gone with her. He knows he is going to have to pull Oliver off of her and he dreads that moment. Because the moment is coming.
He finally looks to her because he has to say good bye. Except when he does warmth fills his chest and love washes over him. A smile is gracing her lips and he knows that this is peace for her. A gentle wind blows in the dark and he knows it's her saying her final good bye. And he can't be mad or sad because this is what she wanted. He will honor her and he will save Oliver because she loved them all so much. To do anything else would be to dishonor her. And none of them will ever do that. A soft sprinkle begins to fall and it's her washing away all the sadness. The moment has come.
(Ducks the flying food) So sorry about that. Was it as heartbreaking to read as it was to write? Cause I feel like it is. Don't forget leave me a review. And yes all mistakes are still mine. I am doing this with out a beta. Can't wait to hear from you guys. Every time I see I have a new review in my inbox I freak out just a little bit, okay a whole lot, whatever don't judge me. Love you guys a lot. I hope you know that. Did everyone survive the season premiere? Let me know what you thought of the premiere.