Summary: Death is only the beginning. The ones we love never really leave us. And sometimes we have to die before we can really live.
AN: Just discovered my story is in a community, awesome! Thanks guys! Sorry for the delay I was not near internet this weekend and then I had to work all day today. I'm not normally one who complains about lack of reviews but for the last chapter no one really seemed to review so I can't decide if you guys liked it. So please don't forget to review they do really make me happy. Here is the next chapter again sorry for the delay. Again swearing be warned. But a HUGE shout out to the ones who haven't stopped reviewing I love you guys just in case you didn't know. And to all of my guest reviewers I wish I could message you guys back but sadly they won't let me so here is a HUGE hug for you guys and be awesome. Sorry long AN again.
Disclaimer: Olicity=Endgame! I keep telling myself that hoping the writers will listen. So let's all think it. You with me guys?
Everyone is stunned for a moment. This isn't Felicity. But Oliver is struggling and she doesn't seem to care. Her eyes glow a devastating red and images on the computer screen are flying a mile a minute. No one makes move, too afraid of what she would do to them or Oliver but they know they have to do something.
"Felicity?" Sara moves slowly to her, arms raised up in front of her to show her she means no harm. "Felicity let him go." She talks to her gently hoping it will break through this rage. Felicity whips her head to look at Sara.
"What did you do to me?" She snarls at her. Sara stops moving. John was right this wasn't Felicity. What did they do?
"Felicity that's Oliver in your hand. You're hurting him, let him go." Sara tries again hoping that would help. They have to bring her back, they have to.
Felicity looks back to Oliver, Sara's words slowly registering in her mind. Oliver sees it and brings his hands to her face and whispers to her.
"Felicity, please I am so sorry."And just like that the fog is gone. She looks around in confusion looking at everyone but not really seeing them. She brings her eyes back to Oliver and realizes she is hurting him and immediately drops him. She steps back horrified at what she has done.
"Oh god! Oliver, I'm so sorry. Oh god I am so sorry." She keeps stepping back from them. She brings her hands to her mouth as tears stream down her face. Oliver reaches out to her and she jerks back. "Stay away from me. I could hurt you again." Oliver looks bewildered at her. She was never going to hurt him, he knows this.
"Felicity, it's okay. I'm okay. It was an accident. You are not going to hurt me." He tries to reach out to her again and again she jerks back this time slapping his hands away.
"I said don't touch me. This is wrong. This is so wrong. I am supposed to be dead; I'm not supposed to hurt you." Oliver goes to interrupt her but she shoots him a glare and he clamps his mouth shut. "And none of this is okay Oliver. None of it." The screens are still going crazy behind her and only Roy takes notice of this. It's like everything is being hacked at once. He just knows this has something to do with her.
"We saved you Felicity. That's all that matters." Oliver says to her and he hopes that will suffice for now. Except it doesn't and Felicity looks like she is about ready to lose control again. Roy goes to intervene because no matter what this is going to end badly. But before he can open his mouth Felicity grabs her head and screams.
"Oh god it hurts! Please make it stop! Please make it stop hurting!" She cries to them falling to her knees. Oliver rushes over to her and tries to look at her but she pulls back from him and covers her eyes. Oliver pulls her hands away from her eyes and while others gasp around him, he doesn't look startled as her eyes are glowing a bright white light. "Please Oliver make it stop. They hurt, everything hurts. Make'em stop. Please. It's too much." She cries into his shoulder. Roy points to the screen so they can all see. Everyone looks to it and sees binary code filling up the screens. No one understands it. No one is good as Felicity and Oliver tries to get through to her.
"Felicity, your screens. Your screens are filling up with numbers." He whispers to her. She raises her head and goes to open her eyes. And Oliver stops her; it seems as long as her eyes are closed they don't her. "Keep them shut Felicity tell me what to do." He tells her. She nods her head at his request.
"Is it just random numbers or is it something else?" She asks him hoping all the pain she is feeling will go away shortly.
"It looks like binary code. Just ones and zeros." He replies to her. She nods her head again and tilts her head in concentration.
"Sara?" She asks out to them."
"I'm here." Said girl replies to her as she comes to stand beside them.
"I need you to run a translation on them. You're good with computers and it should be fairly easy." Sara nods her head at Felicity and then realizes she can't see it so she speaks instead walking over to the computers.
"Yeah no problem." Her reply is shaky and breathless. She doesn't know what to expect with this new Felicity. And she is not going to lie; this person is starting to scare her. She brings up the translation algorithm and when it starts translating them she jumps back startled and moves away from Felicity. Felicity who hears this jerks her head up and turns toward what she hopes is the monitors.
"What is it? What's wrong? What does it say? Someone answer me." But no one answered. They were too busy staring at the screen. It keeps repeating the same words over and over again.
Please make it stop it hurts
Everyone looks at her but no one speaks. Tired of being ignored and the fact closing her eyes is doing nothing but giving her a headache. All those colors flashing before her eyes making her nauseous. When she opens them and looks to the screen she tenses because one those are her words and two the code is what she is seeing when she closes her eyes. She looks back to Oliver and he pulls away from her. That among of everything else hurts the most. But it also really pisses her off because she knows this is his fault she just knows it is. So how dare he pull away from her when he did this? She grabs his wrist and tugs him violently to her.
"What the hell did you do to me Oliver Queen?" And she realizes that the voice that spoke is not hers and Oliver refuses to look at her. "Tell me right now Oliver Queen. What did you do to me?" She seethes and he tries to pull away but her hold on him just gets stronger.
"I am so sorry Felicity. This, this wasn't supposed to happen. Please forgive me. I just, I just couldn't let you go." He pleads with her and she has no idea what the hell is talking about. But she knows it can't be good.
"Ms. Smoak." Everyone whips their head to Slade. This is the first time he has spoken since she was brought back. "You have mirakuru running through your veins right now." And just like that Felicity's whole world comes crashing down around her. She lets go of Oliver's wrist as if his touch burns her. She backs away from them.
How could they do this to her? What the hell were they thinking? She didn't deserve this fate. She never wanted this fate. Why would they do this to her? All these thoughts run through her mind. And she looks at these people she called friends, people she trusted and they betrayed her. She looks around at them and notices something that should have been obvious from the beginning.
"Where is Dig?" She whispers to Oliver. But they all hear it.
"He…he didn't want us to do this. He said it was wrong and that you would hate it. So he left when we wouldn't stop. He said he couldn't be a part of it." He tells her. But he isn't looking at her, instead he looking over her shoulder and he is tense so very tense.
"You should have listened to him. He was right Oliver. He was so right." She implores to him. He jerks his head to look at her then. His face betrays nothing of what he feeling.
"Don't…don't say that. You don't get to say that. He was wrong Felicity. He was wrong. You're here that's all that matters. It's all I we wanted. You can't leave us. You can't leave me. I'm… I'm not ready." He whispers back to her. His voice breaks at the end and everyone feels like they are impeding on a private moment.
"Not ready? Oliver I was dead. I died. As in no pulse. No breath, no heart beat. It was my choice. You can't take that from me. You had no right. You brought me back, but at what cost Oliver? Huh, what cost? You only cared about yourself and how you were feeling. But what about me? What about what my feelings? Do they mean nothing to you? I'm a monster Oliver. A monster. Do you get that? I hurt you. I. Hurt. You. Oh god I hurt you." She cries and Oliver moves toward her but she moves away. She can't be near him. She will hurt him. She will hurt them all.
"You were disoriented Felicity. You didn't mean too. I know you didn't. You would never hurt me." He tells her calmly. He believes it she knows he does. But the problem is she doesn't.
"Yeah well hurting you happens to be all I can think about right now. You betrayed me Oliver. I trusted you. And you just threw it in my face." He looks heartbroken at her words and the horrible thing is it doesn't pull at her heart strings it just makes her even more pissed. "Undo it." She states it so all can hear the statement.
"What?"
"No."
"Why?"
"It can't be done."
She hears all their statements but one stays with her.
"What do you mean it can't be done?" She whirls on Slade. She really hopes she misheard. Because if that's true then she is going to hurt all of them.
"Until we can get a cure you're stuck my dear." And she really hates Slade in this moment. How the hell did all of this happen?
"Then kill me. It can't be that hard right? And I am not even going to be fighting back. So no one is going to get hurt other than me." She knows Oliver is not going to like this plan but if she has to knock him out to do it. Then so be it. She will. But the voice that answers her is not Oliver. And this voice surprises the hell out of her and everyone else.
"No." It's stated calmly and everyone is trying to figure out how to respond to it. Or even why they spoke in the first place.
"No? What do you mean no? I can do whatever the hell I want Laurel." Felicity snaps at her. What the hell is she doing here in the first place? And just who does she think she is? What because she knows now she thinks she can boss everyone around now? Well she will just see about that. There is no way she is taking orders from her.
"I mean no. Felicity I get it or at least some of it. I do, I really do. But you can't leave these people. They need you. You hold them together. You have to know that. They can be the heroes without you. Nor can they survive without you. I'm sorry you feel like they betrayed you especially after your speech on the rooftop. But leaving them now and the way you did, well it's not an option. So no we won't kill you, but what we will do is save you. The way you saved all of us." And she means it. They can't go on without her. And she looks to all of them to make sure they agree with her. And they all nod their head in agreement. Felicity wants to believe them she does but this is too much. They did this without asking her. They don't know what they took from her. And what happened after.
She remembers being happy and at peace. Grams was there, and so was Gramps. She didn't feel any pain only peace. She wanted to stay where ever she was she wanted to stay. But then it was ripped from her and it hurt, it hurt so much. They don't get that. But they will. She will make sure they will.
"You don't get it. None of you do. I was happy, I was at peace. I'm pretty sure I was in heaven. And you took that from me. You ripped it away from me. I had to feel pain so much pain. Do you know what that's like to have to feel all that pain again. When I died I didn't feel it, but you made feel it. You forced all that pain on me because you didn't want to be alone. But what about me? What about what I want? Did my pain mean nothing to you?" She screams at them. And they all flinch back from her. No one ever thought that she had already moved on. None of them thought about an afterlife. But she was there, and they took her from there.
"Please…forgive me Felicity. But without you there is no me." And Oliver breaks down in front of her, in front of all of them. He thought emotions were a weakness but now he knows that was wrong. His words don't appease her in fact they infuriate her. He still thinks this is about him. But it isn't. It's about her. And she is going to have to show him that. She makes a move towards him and before she knows it she is grabbed by both Roy and Slade.
"Let me go." She yells at them struggling to get out of their grasp. But they have a tight grasp on her.
"No can do Blondie. You aren't thinking straight. So until you calm down we aren't letting you go." Roy tells her trying to hold on to her tighter. She struggles with them and with a strength she didn't know she possessed she manages to throw them off of her. They land off to her sides and she moves to Oliver never touching him but in his face.
"You still think it's about you. Well let me tell you it's not. It's not Oliver. It's about me. And it's time you understood that." She goes to strike him when whispered words reach her brain and make her remember the rooftop and the heartache.
"Felicity stay with me. Please don't leave me. I love you Felicity. You can't go, you can't leave me alone. I haven't taken you out on a date; I haven't done anything for you. You have to stay so I can prove to you how much I love you. So I can prove it every day for the rest of our lives. Please Felicity don't go." She pulls back immediately from him. Horror is written on her face. She can't do it. She can't control it. She looks to him but he doesn't look back. The rest do though. So she does the only thing she can do. She runs. She runs from the ones who love her to much to let her go. She runs from what she has become and what she will become. She runs to the one who can tell her he loved her enough to let her go. She knocks on the door and prays that they will answer. The door opens and surprise is on his face. He goes to ask her why she is here or where the others are but she beats him to it.
"They made me a monster Dig. And I can't control it." She whimpers to him and she looks so pitiful that he just opens his arms and she falls into them crying. No whispers come from his mouth he just holds her and lets it out. Neither noticing the lights dimming around them.
After a few minutes he ushers her into his place. He sits her on the sofa and lets her cry some more. What she says next catches him by surprise.
"I hurt him. John I hurt him. I don't know what to do." She cries to him. Neither does he but he knows he needs a calm Felicity not an emotional one. "What did they do to me?" She looks to him for answers. Answers he doesn't have. So instead he tries for something different.
"Tell me everything." He is in solider mode and he needs facts nothing but facts. So that's what she gives him. For the next two hours she tells him everything. And it's straight forward, to the point, and analytical, just what she needs. And then she asks the question she needs answered.
"What did they do to me John? I hurt him, I wanted to kill him. I have never been that angry John. Never. And I couldn't stop it. I am so scared John. I can't go back there, not now, not after everything." She cries to him. Hoping he has the answer she needs. He was always the one that kept the group grounded. The level headed one, she needs that right now.
He looks to her and he wants to tell her he understands and that he can help her. Truth is he doesn't understand and he can't help her. The only one who can help her is her and as for understanding he doesn't think any of them know what the hell is going on anymore. But what he is certain of is that he was wrong this is Felicity she might be a lot more scarier now but it's still her and she has to understand that. Otherwise she is going to follow Slade down his dark and twisted path.
"Felicity I'm not going to lie. I don't know what the hell is going on. But what I do know is that you are the bravest and smartest person I know. So what you are going to do is have your freak out tonight because lord knows you deserve one and then tomorrow you are going to be Felicity Smoak I.T. Expert to the Arrow and figure this out with that huge brain of yours. And you are not going to be doing it alone. We are a team girl and you can't get rid of me that easily." He tells her and is glad to see she is smiling somewhat and he knows that she will be okay no matter what, she will be okay.
"I kind of love you John Diggle. I hope you know that."
"I kind of love you too Felicity Smoak." And he does. This is girl is his family and he will always be there to protect her. Tomorrow they will face their demons all of them but for now he is going to be there for her just like she would be for him.
Yay John Diggle! Oh how we love you. I don't know about you but I want to see some more of angry Felicity. She seems really fun. Don't forget leave me a review. And yes all mistakes are still mine. I am doing this without a beta. Can't wait to hear from you guys. I want to hear all your thoughts on the story and on Wednesday's episode. And can I say after watching the last episode quite a few times I really don't like Ray. And I had such high hopes for him. But he is way to back and forth for me. One minute he is really sweet towards Felicity and the next he goes and asks her if she is adopted after meeting her ? I loved MAMA SMOAK! Loved her! I really want her back like very soon. Oliver was so happy to meet her! That says so much right there.