True Love Way
Chapter 1
Late September, 1999
The new girl was all the talk around school. It's not often a new face arrives in Forks, so to have one dropped in our laps a month into our junior year was a novelty. Not that anyone spoke to me about her – people generally avoided me like the plague – but I had developed keen listening skills. Since I rarely had to speak, I could listen to several conversations at once.
The girls' opinions ran the gamut of Plain-Jane to stiff competition. The guys had a more united opinion – adequate rack, if she'd wear tighter shirts, and a great ass with killer, long legs. Apparently, she did wear her jeans tight enough. Both deduced she would be easy, being from a big city and all. They were all small-minded idiots. I had yet to see her to make my own assessment. It didn't matter anyway; she would merely be another kid at school who avoided me.
A crowd around one table in the cafeteria alerted me to her presence. Jessica and Angela were giving her the run-down on the student body and there were a dozen or so guys hanging around, puffing themselves up, and trying to impress her.
"Hey, Bella! I can give you a ride home. I've got my own van!" Ah yes, the van. Tyler was desperate to lose his virginity in his newly acquired vehicle.
"I'll ride in the back with you!" Mike was just an all-round creep, without his own wheels.
I tried not to stare overtly while in line, but I wished the crowd would thin out so I could get a glimpse.
"Who's that?"
My ears perked up as I paid for my lunch. A new voice. This had to be Bella. It wasn't high-pitched and excitable like most of the girls. I rather enjoyed it.
"Oh that's the reject Cullen. Forget him."
"The other two are much better."
"Triplets?" The new voice inquired. I continued listening. The sting of their comments had already subsided. I was used to it.
"No – twins and that. He was like, the test tube project gone wrong or something. Then the Cullens had Jasper and Rosalie."
Ouch. That one was new.
Bella looked over at me just as my eyes flashed to her. I wanted to gauge her reaction. She wasn't laughing with the others. Instead, she gave me a small, embarrassed smile, knowing I'd heard their remarks. I kept on my path to the corner table, where I ate every day – usually alone.
Today, I had company. My siblings joined me to discuss the new girl.
"She's Chief Swan's daughter," Rosalie told us. "I think I remember her."
"No you don't. She moved away with her mom before school even started." Jasper challenged.
"No, seriously! I think she spent a few summers here – back when Sue Clearwater was sick. Mom and I used to go help her, and Bella hung out with Rachel and Leah. I'm sure of it."
Jasper gave me a nudge as he rolled his eyes at her. "She can't stand the fact that she doesn't know everyone."
Rosalie flipped her twin the bird as I grinned at her. "I'm going to go ask her."
My sister would; she had no issue talking to anyone. Ever. I envied her ability to just jump right in. Jasper and I watched as she approached the crowded table. Of course, they parted for her. She struck up an instant conversation and I found myself unable to look away from Bella's smile. How had none of the guys mentioned that? I hadn't seen her body, but her smile spoke for itself. She was the prettiest girl I had ever seen.
"You like her, huh, Ed?" Jasper jabbed me in the ribs. He sometimes teased me over the fact that, at seventeen, I'd never even been on a date, let alone had a girlfriend. He always thought I was bullshitting when I told him I wasn't interested in anyone. I wasn't about to confess that this girl would be the exception when I knew I didn't have a chance in hell with her.
"Nah. I was just thinking you're going to have to listen to Rosalie gloating about this. Looks like she was right." My sister was deep in conversation with her and they both looked our way.
"Looks that way," Jasper drawled his agreement with a smirk. He waved at them. "Looks like they're coming over right now to commence gloating."
My heart pounded in my chest and the two bites of pizza I'd had felt like they were on the way back up. I pushed my tray away and stood up, hastily grabbing my backpack. "Want to finish that? I forgot I have to meet with Berty to decide when I can make up that refresher test I missed last week." Tripping over my chair as I dashed from the table, I ignored the snickers that followed me.
I went immediately to the washroom to get my anxiety attack under control. I did have to meet with Berty, but I didn't want to walk in with cold sweats – he'd think I was still sick. Or worse, sit me down for 'a talk'. The only thing worse than being a social outcast was having every teacher take pity on me. They all wanted to talk to me… see if they could help with anything. It reminded me of the times Mom would take us to the park as pre-schoolers and when Jasper and Rosalie went off to play with the other kids, she would select the shyest looking kid and walk me straight over to them. My mom couldn't make friends for me any more than my teachers could. It was humiliating enough that they knew my only social interaction was with my siblings – and they had to talk to me.
Berty let me off without a sympathy chat, making arrangements for me to write my test after school. The cafeteria was beginning to empty out, and I didn't want to face anyone, so I headed straight for Biology class instead. It was deserted, just how I liked it. I took my usual spot by the window, put in my earphones, and skimmed over my notes for the test later on. The earphones stayed in place as the room began to fill up. I didn't want to hear any more comments about Bella. I had my own view of her, and hearing derogatory remarks would only piss me off. If I got pissed off, I'd only draw attention to myself, and that was the last thing I wanted to do – better to stay tuned out. I did pull the earphones out when Mr Banner stood before me.
"Mr Cullen? You have a new partner."
I thought I must have heard him wrong. I didn't have a partner. I worked independently – that was best for everyone. How could I have a new one? That's when she emerged from behind him, all smiles and bright eyes. Perfect skin and soft-looking hair.
"Hi."
I swallowed deeply and prayed my voice would work when called upon. "Hi."
"I'm Bella," she said with an even brighter smile, taking the seat beside me.
"Yeah. I know." I turned my head away, frowning at my lack of social skills. The prettiest girl in the world was sitting beside me, talking to me, and that's what I managed to say?
"Yeah. I figure everyone knows who I am by now. God, that sounded so conceited!" She laughed softly, and I gazed at her from the corner of my eye. Colour had flooded into her cheeks. "I mean, some of the kids have told me the last time there was a new person was four years ago?"
"Bobby Trenton," I replied in acknowledgement.
"Right. So, it's a lot easier for everyone to remember one new person than it is for me to remember everyone I'm meeting for the first time."
"Sorry. I'm Edward." I kept my head down and gripped the sides of my chair. I could feel my heart becoming erratic. This girl had said more to me in forty seconds than most of the kids in the room had said to me in all our years together.
She leaned towards me and gave me a nudge. "I know."
I went over the conversation from the cafeteria in my mind… 'reject Cullen'… 'that'… I didn't recall my first name ever being used.
A soft laugh came from beside me as I frowned. "I met your sister and brother at lunch. They told me. You had detention?"
"No!" I never had detention! I spent my life doing everything I possibly could to go unnoticed. I would never do something that landed me in detention. "I missed a test."
"Oh. I thought your brother said something about a detention."
Class began, effectively ending our conversation. I drifted through the remainder of the day, recalling every word she had said to me and all fourteen words I had used in response. An actual conversation – with a girl! Not just any girl; the perfect girl.
~ 0 ~
Jasper greeted me at the door when I got home after writing my test. "I created an air of mystique for you, and you blew it!"
Hanging up my coat, I scowled at him. "What are you talking about?"
"Bella! You went and told her you missed a test after I had blamed your ignorant dash on needing to get to detention. What is wrong with you? I try to make you look good – impress the new girl…"
I snorted in his direction. "Why would that impress someone?"
"Ed, do you want to be a douche your whole life?"
Rosalie swept in, giving Jasper a smack and some admonishing. "Don't call him a douche, microphallus."
Sometimes I really loved my sister and her ability to knock her twin down.
"And you…" She turned on me. "Why the hell did you take off like that at lunch? And don't give me your crap about meeting with Berty – you could have talked to him in class. Bella's a really sweet girl. I wanted her to meet you!"
Sweet, and pretty, and nice. She's the perfect girl. "We have Bio together," I said to compensate for my rudeness. It made sense to me.
"I know. She told me. She's having lunch with us tomorrow. Don't be writing any tests!" Rosalie mussed up my hair before turning back to Jasper. "And you, lay off him. Calling him filthy names doesn't help."
Jasper smirked. "And you braining up an insult doesn't make it any less of a filthy name. You're more like me than you care to admit, sweet twin."
The headache started even before dinner. I picked my way through it to make my mother happy, but I really was not feeling well. I went to bed early. By midnight, dinner revisited me, and by morning, the migraine was so intense I could barely move. The next three days were spent in my darkened bedroom. Considerable time was spent thinking of rich, chocolate brown eyes – it was soothing and terrifying at the same time. On Friday, I woke pain-free and craving strawberries. I was always ravenous after a migraine.
My voracious appetite spared me from anxiety at lunch – I was simply too focused on eating to mind that I was solo at my corner table. Jasper had a meeting for drama club, a new interest for him, and Rosalie was partaking in Freshman Fridays. It was a project she had pitched the previous year, designed to integrate freshman into the student body and help them get to know the older students so they would feel less intimidated. Members of the group would hang with the new kids every Friday and involve them in activities to loosen them up. Rosalie had wanted me to join. I declined – they intimidated me.
Instead, I spent the lunch hour devouring two purchased meals and watching with amusement as Rosalie and Angela got them playing a modified version of musical chairs. Any time a chair was vacated, a freshman would have to fill it. Seniors, for the most part, were pretty cool about it, but sophomores and juniors were far too officious to mingle with newbies. It was entertaining watching them get scolded by my sister when they were uncooperative. Everyone liked Rosalie, and I figured a good portion of them feared her as well.
It didn't surprise me in the least that the one junior who didn't need coaxed into mingling with the young players was Bella. When a tiny girl took a seat next to her, she immediately struck up a conversation, and if someone hadn't known, they'd think the two had always been friends. Of course Bella would be that way – she had even talked to me.
The music changed, indicating it was time for the freshman to vacate their stolen seats, and I returned to my lunch. Tyler took the seat next to Bella, and I didn't want to watch her interact with him. I reached for my bottle of water and realized I had finished it off already. Stuffing a few fries in my mouth, I headed back to purchase another drink. The new bottle was tipped to my mouth when I returned to my table, only to see my seat occupied. For a second, I cursed Rosalie and her stupid game, and then I realized it wasn't a freshman in my seat. The same chocolate eyes that had been in my dreams all week looked up at me.
"I'm stealing your fries." She nibbled on one as she smiled. "Feeling better?"
I nodded as I recapped my lemonade and twisted my head around to seek out Rosalie. She was engrossed with her group and didn't even notice that I needed her. My hands were beginning to sweat. My legs felt a little wobbly, as well – probably muscle weakness from the migraine.
"Aren't you going to sit?"
"Um… you're… on my jacket."
She smiled and shifted to tug my jacket out from under her. She draped it over her shoulders rather than passing it to me. "Edward, there are five empty chairs. Pick one! Actually…" Her foot came up and she kicked the one adjacent to her out. "Pick that one. Then we can share your fries. Your sister told me you aren't contagious. Mind if I have a drink?"
I stared at her outstretched hand, my own shaking as I passed her the bottle of lemonade. I figured I'd better take the empty chair in case I passed out. I was less likely to get a concussion falling from a chair than from my full standing height. I couldn't believe I was doing this – allowing someone else to drink from my bottle. Normally, I couldn't even drink from one that I'd seen someone else touch. Being so prone to illness, I was obsessed with keeping away from germs. She twisted the cap off, smiling at me, and then poured into it with such precision it left me in awe. Downing it like she would a shot, she refilled and repeated before setting the lid beside the open bottle.
"Thanks. Oh, I copied my Bio notes for you, so you wouldn't fall behind. We also worked on a project this week – we're presenting today. Rosalie said you were feeling a bit better last night, so I thought you'd be back." She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a folded paper. "This is your part of the presentation. Are you okay to present?"
I nodded dumbly. I knew I wasn't giving her any indication that I could actually stand in front of a roomful of people and speak, but I was capable of it. That really didn't bother me anymore – it was one-on-one that was the issue. Actually, it was one-on-one with her that was the biggest issue. I couldn't seem to get words to come out. Reading over her notes, I was extremely impressed. So, the perfect girl was not only sweet, nice, and pretty, she was also very smart. "This is great," I finally managed to choke out. "I'll let Banner know you did all the work –"
"Why?" She scrunched up her face in shock. She even looked cute like that. "I already told him we've been working on it at home. I talk to Rosalie every night – it could just as easily have been you. Now you don't have to worry about doing extra credit or anything. It's fine, really. I'm used to doing all the work on projects anyway."
"Me too," I replied with a smirk. "I work alone." I was imagining what it would be like to talk to Bella every night.
"Well I hope I don't mess up your chi," she said as she chuckled. "You can put the presentation in your own words. I just thought it was easier to write it out in script form so we'd have something to go on."
It was brilliance on her part, seeing as I couldn't think clearly around her. I realized my strawberry craving was Bella-induced when she leaned closer to go over it together. Her hair smelled like strawberries. She could influence me even without me being aware of it. And I wasn't thinking clearly when I pocketed the lemonade cap she drank from either – it would become my amulet for years and would play a much more important role in future.
~ 0 ~
It took several weeks for me to not be a nervous wreck in Bella's presence – and she was present a lot. She and Rosalie had become close friends. Bella had lunch with us every day. She visited the house frequently as well. Not once did she treat me like the reject she'd been told I was; she just spoke to me the way she did any other person. Her smile did me in though. I didn't see anyone else melting when she smiled at them, and I prayed my reactions weren't obvious. I couldn't claim that I was comfortable around her, but it was a pleasant discomfort at least.
"Edward! Oh, I'm so glad you're still here!" Bella rushed towards me one day in the locker bay. "Are you any good with cars? My truck died in the parking lot."
I grimaced and shook my head with reluctance. "We should find Rosalie. She's the mechanic of the family."
"Seriously?" Bella grinned. "She never told me."
"Yeah, Dad was worried about her being stuck on the side of a road somewhere and being dependent on a stranger, so he made her take a mechanics course. She's actually really good at it."
"You and Jasper didn't have to take it? That's sexist," she chided.
I finished up in my locker and closed it for the day. "Completely," I replied with a grin. "But not so much when we beg her for help with an oil change. She enjoys it. We don't." I walked with Bella out to the parking lot only to find that Rosalie's car was gone. And she wasn't answering her phone. "I can take a look, but honestly, I don't think I'll be much help," I said apologetically. I was kicking myself for not knowing more about the inner workings of vehicles and cursing my dad for not making me take a course too. Bella was shivering. I took off my jacket and passed it to her to wear. I had three other layers on, I'd be fine.
"Come inside for a sec?" Bella tugged on my sleeve and led me back into the school. "Sorry. Tyler's still out there. He was already bugging me to let him drive me home. I don't feel right about going anywhere with him."
I smiled at the face she made. She was beautiful even when she pulled silly faces. She was intuitive, too – I wouldn't trust Tyler. Then again, I didn't trust many people at all. I started contemplating whether I was better or worse off for my lack of faith in my fellow classmates. Between that, trying Rose's cell once more, and attempting not to stare at Bella, I didn't even notice Tyler coming in.
"So, you ready to give in, Bella?"
"Ha. No… I'm still working on getting my truck fixed."
"By him?" Tyler snorted. "Good luck! He can't even tie his shoes."
My eyes fell to my shoes automatically. Damn. They were undone. I set my bag on the floor, passed Bella my phone, and squatted to do up my laces. Squatting wasn't easy for me, and I was terrified I'd topple over. My stupid hands were trembling. He was laughing. I wanted to die on the spot.
"She's still not answering." Bella nudged me as I finished up the first shoe.
"I'm telling you, Bella. You could be here all night just waiting for Cullen to finish tying. Just come with me."
"Actually, I'm going with Edward."
With me? I finished up the second shoe and stood slowly. I rather enjoyed that Tyler had to tilt his head back to look up at me when I stood straight. Normally, I hated being tall. It made me stand out and that was the worst.
"We might as well just meet up with your sister at home?"
"Sure. Yeah…"
"He speaks outside the classroom? I've never heard that." He snickered and leaned into Bella, causing her to shift away from him uncomfortably.
Asshole. "He also takes Bella home with him after school," I stated dryly. "See you."
"That was classic!" Bella was in stitches when we got into my car. "Did you see his face? Not talking much works for you, Edward. When you do talk, they really listen! God… I wish I hadn't mentioned your sister. If he had thought I was just going home with you that would have been priceless!"
"It would have been unbelievable," I replied truthfully. "No one would believe that. Are you warm enough?" I adjusted the heat so the car would warm up faster. I didn't want to start shivering and make her give me my jacket back.
"Do you bowl?"
"What?" I chuckled.
"You know, bowling? Do you bowl?"
"That was really random."
The sound of her laughter made my heart race. I couldn't look away from the road to see her face. That was regrettable.
"I know, but do you?"
"No. I um… I broke my arm the last time I tried."
"You broke your arm. Bowling. Bowling? Seriously? Edward, are we talking about the same activity?"
I risked a glance at her. Sure enough, she was smiling. "We are. And I did actually break my arm – bowling. It got stuck in the ball-return thing. Seriously. Bad genes."
"That sounds more like bad luck. We've got to get you bowling again."
"Six weeks in a cast was enough for me, thanks."
"Get back on the horse, Edward! I love bowling. I'm totally gonna set up a bowling night for all the four of us. It'll be fun!"
"Uh-huh. We'll take my car. We will need reliable wheels to get me to an emergency room, and your truck is not that vehicle."
"All right, all right… hate on my truck if you want. But I will get you bowling. And you're going to love it!"
She did. And I hated it. But I loved watching her bowl. The next time wasn't as bad for me, and she still looked just as good. It got so I looked forward to our bowling nights. I looked forward to Fridays, too. Bella came over after school on Fridays and even stayed over some nights, so I didn't mind Saturdays too much either.
Getting her truck to start was hit and miss, and she frequently took rides home from me. I liked it when she didn't have her jacket with her on those days. She'd wear mine and it would smell like Bella for days afterwards. I always had to remember to take the lemonade lid out of the pocket before I gave it to her – I doubted she would know what it was, but I didn't want to risk the embarrassment. It fit just as nicely in my jeans pocket, and I swear it brought me luck of the good kind for a change. I felt like the luckiest guy on Earth every time she got in my car, anyway. Whether my luck was changing or I was, it was all due to Bella.
Feeling stronger by the day with my new sense of confidence gained from Bella, I didn't cringe when my siblings proposed a New Year's Eve party. Everyone was more animated and into it than usual. The year 2000 was going to be the best, or worst, in history. Of course it had to begin with a party. I even managed to stay healthy for it – in fact, I hadn't missed a day of school in over a month. That was a record for me.
It was during the party that I realized the truth: I could be a regular kid if I didn't hide away. It was possible to feel normal. I not only attended the party, but I enjoyed it. 2000 seemed like it may be decent to me. Maybe good things would happen for me. Maybe I could be normal. It didn't seem like my siblings felt obligated to stick to my side. I spent time with Bella too, as well as Rosalie's new boyfriend.
Rose had met Emmett at her mechanics club, and they'd been dating for several weeks. The party was the first time I'd met him, and he was surprisingly easy to talk to. On sight, I would have avoided him at all costs – he was built like the jocks at school who took great pains to mock my own flabby physique. Emmett didn't look at me with disgust or flex his muscles to remind me of my inadequacies. He talked to me the same as he talked to Bella and Jasper.
I was with him at midnight and watched approvingly as he kissed my sister at the end of the countdown. I already liked Emmett far more than any previous boyfriend, and he really seemed to care for my sister. Turning away from them, I spotted Bella and Jasper making their way towards us. Bella's cheeks were tinged pink, and her ever-present smile lit up her whole face.
"Happy New Year, Edward!" Without hesitation, or warning, her arms were around me. I returned her embrace stiffly. Besides my mother and sister, I'd never been hugged by a girl. She was soft and warm, and hugging felt much better than I had ever imagined. There was no better way to kick off the new millennium.
~ 0 ~
I didn't expect Bella when the doorbell rang Friday night. School was still out, and Rosalie had a date with Emmett. But there she stood, smiling and looking amazingly beautiful.
"Hi, Edward!"
"Hi. Um… Rosalie isn't here…"
She laughed, giving me a light shove. "What? Rosalie is my only friend? I thought we were all friends. Maybe I came over just to hang out with you."
I froze. Literally. I tried to speak; not even an 'uh' would come forth.
Her smile widened, and she squeezed my forearm. Bella just knew what to do, and what not to do around me. She knew how to loosen me up and when to not cross lines if I was uncomfortable. And she never made me feel like a reject for having limitations. "I'm actually here for Jazz. We're going out tonight. He didn't tell you?"
No. No, he hadn't. My vocal chords still refused to cooperate, but I did manage to shake my head. Jasper had asked her out? On a date? I didn't even know he was interested.
"Oh. Well, should I go up to his room? Or maybe you could let him know that I'm here?"
I nodded, mumbling, "I'll let him know." I dashed for the stairs before he could call out to her to come up. Our parents weren't home, and he was interested in Bella. I didn't want him being alone with her in his room. Maria had been in his room with him, unsupervised. My brother often took advantage of our parents' outings when he was dating her. My brother was no longer a virgin.
Fuck! Why am I even thinking about that? It's not like Bella said she was here to have sex with my brother. They were going out. That's all. Maybe they're just hanging out. Not an actual date. I finished my internal pep talk and rapped on Jasper's door.
He had a huge smile when he opened his door, wearing his 'dressed to impress' clothes that he used to wear on dates with Maria. He was also wearing cologne. It was a date. Fuck.
I followed him down the stairs, stupidly. Bella smiled differently for him. I also realized that Bella had dressed differently for him, too. For him. It was a real date.
"All right, Ed, don't burn the house down while we're gone." Jasper clapped me on the back.
Bella looked up at me. "Are you alone?"
And, my speaking ability vanished once more.
"He's a big boy, Bella. He can stay by himself." Jasper joked to take the pressure off me. He knew my discomfort face all too well.
She rolled her eyes at him. "Whatever… it's Friday night! You shouldn't be alone. Come with us."
A muffled snort managed to escape. "Uh…"
Jazz was fully attuned to my discomfort. "I don't think Ed wants to be a third wheel," he said softly. "We can make plans for tomorrow, though."
I managed to nod. Even managed to grin a little as they said goodnight. Then I thundered upstairs before the anxiety attack paralyzed me in the entrance. I didn't want my parents finding me like that. They'd been so pleased with my progress. The last thing I wanted was to feel like I'd disappointed them. On top of the shock I already experienced, disappointing them would do me in.
Locking myself in the bathroom, I slid to the floor as the uncontrollable shaking began. I knew I'd be in there for a while. Two things were certain with my anxiety attacks – they were something I never wanted anyone to witness, and they made me physically ill when they ended. Luckily, I was able to get myself under control, cleaned up, and in bed before anyone came home. I stayed in bed the entire weekend and half of the following week.
There was a knock on my door Wednesday afternoon. Rose had been coming in to hang out with me, so I assumed it was her. Jasper had been avoiding me just as much as I avoided him. I called out for her to come in as I saved my work and closed up my laptop.
"Hey! Um, it's not Rose. It's me." Bella's face peeked in as she cracked the door open. "Can I still come in?"
I took a quick look around my room to make sure there was nothing humiliating lying around. I scrambled off my bed to kick a pair of boxers under the bed. "Sure. Yeah. Come in." I also took the opportunity to open the window. I'm sure my room needed airing out, and the cool blast of air felt good on my face.
Smiling, she slipped inside and shut the door behind her. She sat on the edge of my bed. I gripped the edge of the windowsill behind me. Bella was sitting on my bed.
"Feeling any better?"
I nodded, mumbling a "thanks". I didn't want to discuss my ill health.
"So, Banner handed out new assignments today. I signed you up as my partner. Hope you don't mind."
"Uh…" I frowned, feeling utterly inadequate that she was doing all the work on a second team project. "Bella, you really don't have to partner with me. I'm a lousy partner. I miss so much time –"
"It's not a problem."
"It's unfair to you –"
"I don't mind."
"I'm going to drag you down with me, and that's not –"
"Edward!" Bella stopped me from talking over her. "I like being your lab partner. Okay?"
I nodded shyly. "Okay. Thanks." My eyes fell from hers, and I shifted my feet around nervously.
"Are you okay?" Bella's voice was full of concern. I trembled slightly, fearing that she would come over to me. I didn't want her any closer. If she hugged me, touched me in any way, I would freak out.
"Yeah. I just need some air. I haven't really been out of bed…" I glanced down at the rumpled sight of myself. I knew I looked a mess. I always looked a mess, but this was ridiculous.
"Edward, you're not really okay, are you?" she asked softly.
Don't get up… don't get up…
"You don't seem like yourself. Well, you seem like how you are at school, not like how you are with me."
Don't get up!
She stood. My heart thundered in my chest. "Will you talk to me? Please?" Her soft voice touched me, and I stupidly looked into her eyes. They were pleading along with her words.
Just…don't…touch…me…
I ran my tongue over my parched lips, my mouth suddenly bone dry. Just as she stepped forward, I slid over to reach for a water bottle by my bed, avoiding contact. She took my spot by the window, so I perched on the edge of my bed as I drank.
"Are you upset with me?"
"No!" I shook my head to draw my point forward. "If you really want to be lab partners, that's fine."
"I'm not talking about Bio, Edward." She folded her arms across her chest, hugging herself and rubbing her arms. "This is about you and me. Our friendship. Are you okay with everything?"
Oh, fuck… "Sure!" I answered a little too quickly. Too eagerly. Too deceitfully. Pity replaced the look of concern in her eyes. Fuck!
"I don't think you are, and I really don't want it to be this way. Just because Jasper and I are dating, it doesn't mean that we're not friends. It won't affect us, Edward – you and me. We're still the same. I don't want to lose your friendship, because I really, really like you. I like how you are when the four of us are hanging out here. You're funny, and smart. You say interesting things. Unexpected things. I like that about you. It'll still be that way when we're all together. At least, that's what I want. Maybe you feel differently? Would you tell me if you did?"
I didn't know how to respond. I wanted things with me and her to stay as they were. For months, it had felt like I had an actual friend. She was the first person to befriend all three of us. I didn't mind that she was closer to Rosalie, because she treated me and Jazz exactly the same. While I was aware that my brother had never once indicated that he was interested in Bella as more than a friend, I also knew that she'd never given a sign of interest either. I felt betrayed. I also felt desperate to keep the one friend who wasn't family, even if it meant lying. I felt pathetic.
I glanced up. She was patiently waiting for my reply. "I like hanging out with you, too." That, at least, was the truth. She looked relieved, and that's what I wanted.
"So, you'll start being yourself with me again?" She smiled and then shivered. I tensed up when she stepped away from the window. "Can I ask you something? Are you really all right with me and Jazz? Because I don't want to mess anything up. He said he asked you… but then you didn't know anything about it, and well, I just needed to talk to you about it myself. You're important to me, Edward. All of you are. If you don't like this… if you're upset…" She twisted her hands together, full of worry. "I don't want anyone to be hurt. Most of all, you. If you're not all right with this, I'll stop it now – before anyone gets hurt."
There was my chance. Jazz had asked me the first day we met her if I liked her. I lied. Now she was asking. "We're still friends, Bella. I've just had a tough week, being sick and everything."
"And, you and Jazz are cool?"
I huffed out a chuckle. "Sure. Why wouldn't we be?" That wasn't a lie. This was my own doing. Jasper had every right to ask her out. He may not have asked me how I felt about it, but he did ask if I was interested. It's not like Bella would ever look at me as more than a friend, so what was the point of resenting my brother for it? No one wanted to date the fat, pathetic guy. Jasper's a great guy, and he deserved a terrific girl like Bella. "Unless he's jealous that I get to be your lab partner. I dunno. Ask him."
Her laughter rang out as she moved closer still. "See? You always say the unexpected!" Giving my shoulder a light squeeze, she sat beside me. "So, do you want to do the lab partner thing first or the friend thing?"
"Uh…" I tittered, unsure what to say.
She reached for her book bag. Tossing it on the bed, she inched back and sat cross-legged. "My Gran always used to come in and play cards with me when I was sick. So, I brought a deck. I also brought everything you need to keep caught up in Bio. And… I brought frozen yogurt. Two spoons. But if you're not feeling well enough, I'll go stick it in the freezer for you for later on."
Bella managed to get a true smile from me. I wondered if Rosalie had anything to do with this visit. It was something my sister would do. "I… thank you. I really appreciate all of this, but really, if you'd rather spend your time here with Jasper, I do understand. I can read through your Bio notes while you're with him. You don't have to sit with me."
She blew out a deep breath of exhaustion. Yeah, I recognized it – I had caused every member of my family to do the same over the years. "You still don't get it. Edward, you're smart! What's wrong with you?" The words would have stung coming from anyone else, but she had a playful look on her face. "I'm here to hang with you. I want to be right where I am. Here. With you. Am I opening the yogurt?"
"Sorry," I mumbled. She took a swat at my leg, scowling at me with her cute little grin making it more endearing than frightening. No matter her reason for coming to me that way, I was glad that she had. I figured we could pull this friendship thing off no matter what. "Open it up."
A/N ~ Well, after my brief hiatus, I didn't know what to expect. You all thrilled me to bits that you're willing to come along with me again. I thank you. I've missed you. And I just hope you like it.
Mucho thanks to msj and Shug for loving up my story, and boosting my morale. I heart you!
See you next week. XX ~ SR