True Love Way

Chapter 5

Things changed for more than Bella and Jasper that night. I gained a certain sense of acceptance. They were together in all ways, and I was merely friend and brother. Acceptance didn't bring me relief – only a new determination to not be a burden to my siblings any longer. I sought ways to help them out, to be as important to them as they were to me. I kept up my meetings with Aro and fought through illnesses so as not to miss so many days at school. I also grew closer to Emmett. I realized I'd spent more time with my brother's girlfriend than I had my sister's boyfriend – that got rectified. Mom and Dad were immensely pleased that we were all spending so much time together. Particularly that it involved me leaving the house more often. I learned how to put on a good act in front of the people who knew me best. None of them knew I was dying inside.

When I wasn't with any of them, I was quick to anger and easily irritated. I continued walking away from instigators. Yes, they noticed how hot tempered I'd gotten and loved spurring it on. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of a reaction in front of them, but once I was alone, my temper flared.

One day, I was talking to Emmett in the parking lot when he came to pick up Rosalie. She had left with Jasper to get some supplies for an upcoming fund-raiser. We chatted for a bit before he pulled away and I headed for my car. A bunch of guys were piled around Tyler's van, being their usual obnoxious selves, talking about some girl. I looked away in disgust and continued to my car until I heard a name and froze.

"Rosalie has easily got the best tits in the school. If she wasn't with that musclehead, I'd totally bang her."

The guys laughed while I silently fumed.

"Dude, he could so kick your ass!"

"Yeah, but it would be worth it to slide into that fucking hot piece. I want a crack at all three entrances, man. That bitch is hot. And she'd never look better than with her mouth wrapped around my dick."

Before I even realized what I was doing, I was in front of the ignoramus, my hands fisted at my sides. "That's my sister!" I hissed, spewing venom with my anger.

They laughed. I fumed more.

"Like you wouldn't take it if you had a shot at that."

My fist was no longer at my side – it connected with his jaw.

"Fuck! Who the hell do you think you are, asshole? You can't hit me!"

"You can't talk about my sister that way!" I countered, shaking my hand out. That fucking hurt. I probably broke a knuckle or two.

The next thing I knew, three guys were coming at me – all of them looking to damage me more than I'd damaged their friend. I took several blows before I could even defend myself, and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground. My glasses flew several feet away. I heard the impact on the cement, and the crush as they got trampled. Blurred fists and feet came at me from all directions, and I couldn't block even half of them. The fury built with my humiliation. If I couldn't defend myself, I would damn well go down defending my sister. I used both feet to kick one of them in the gut. I bit another and grabbed the third by his throat until he stopped punching. I could hear my name being yelled, but I was sure it was in my head. It was Bella's voice.

I got to my feet and spit the blood out of my mouth, still raging as I faced the original asshole. "You got more?"

He lunged at me in a football tackle, hurling me back several yards before I fell to the ground again. I kicked him in the balls and quickly got to my feet as he bent over in pain.

"Stand up, you fucking prick! Stand up! If you're going to talk about my sister that way, this is what you're gonna get… every… fucking… time!" I accentuated each word with a punch before utilizing my final blow – the head-butt. With a body constructed of fragile bones, the one thing I knew that was rock hard was my skull. It dropped him. I stood over him, panting and spitting out more blood. I'm pretty sure some bile was mixed in with it.

I heard the squeal of tires behind me, and feet pounding on the pavement. A car door slammed and more feet rushed towards us. I figured I was in for another round, but I didn't give a shit. Nobody talked that way about my sister!

"Hey! Are you all right?"

I looked over my shoulder. Emmett. I started laughing as my body shook uncontrollably. Fucking Emmett.

"What the fuck guys? Four on one? You think that makes you tough? You wanna try me?"

Three of them shook their heads, hauling up their friend and dragging him to the safety of their van.

"Edward! Oh my god! Look at you!"

Bella's beautiful face was in front of me, cupping my face in her hands. There were tears streaming down her cheeks. I didn't need my glasses to see them. Each one seemed illuminated.

"I'm sorry, Edward! I saw you on the ground… and I saw Em leaving. I ran to get him. I should have stopped them –"

Emmett rubbed her back gently. "No, you did the right thing. I'm glad I wasn't too far away. Looks like you got a few good ones in yourself, eh?"

The maniacal laughter returned out of nowhere. I nodded and then stopped when the pounding in my skull threatened to lay me out. I was gasping for breath, and Bella was crying. Emmett was calming us both.

"He's going to need stitches, Em." Bella had dug out a tissue and was blotting at the blood that was dripping my eye, hindering my piss-poor sight even further.

"And probably some x-rays. Come on. I'll take you to my dad."

"Your dad?" We both turned to him in shock.

He smirked. "Yes. My dad. He's an asshole at home, but a very good and respectable doctor. He'll fix you up. His practice is about forty minutes away. Can you make it?"

I shrugged. "If I die on the way, just roll me out on the side of the road and go get some pizza."

Emmett laughed at my attempt at humour; Bella just looked more concerned. She fussed over me the entire drive, wiping away blood, stroking my hair, giving me sips of water – anything to keep me awake. In all honesty, I was having the best hour of my life. I'd defended my sister. Finally. And I'd won. And then I was rewarded. Twenty minutes of getting my ass kicked was worth the forty of having Bella's hands on me.

~ 0 ~

My mother took over the fussing from the moment we returned from the visit to Dr McCarty. She fussed until I semi-yelled at her to stop. She didn't blame me for it – I was sore and cranky. I also had a concussion, six stitches over my eye and bandaged ribs. My punching hand was in another cast. It throbbed and itched like hell. All in all, I faired quite well for four on one, I supposed. The bullshit of waking me up every two hours to ask me redundant questions was getting on my nerves though.

Regardless of the restless night and no glasses to wear, I was up and dressed, and ready to go to school. I would not let those assholes start up any rumours about what had happened. I didn't give a shit what they said about me, but I wouldn't let them drag Rosalie into it. My mother objected. My dad agreed with her. My siblings sat in silence, knowing that I needed to make a stand for myself. I was relieved when Bella showed up. She let herself in the kitchen door, as she had become accustomed. Today, however, she was not alone. Chief Swan stood behind her.

My family greeted them, offering the Chief a coffee. He accepted and stepped over to take a look at me. He whistled through his teeth.

"Well, son, looks like you went a full nine rounds." He thanked my mother as she passed him a steaming mug.

"And he still wants to go to school. Can you believe that?" She smiled through her worry. "He doesn't even have his glasses! We have to go pick out some new ones today, if he's up to it."

I knew Chief Swan as well as most teens in the area, but I wasn't familiar with the face he was making and what it meant. I did know that Bella's silence meant trouble.

"About that, Esme…" Chief Swan held a chair out for my mother to take a seat.

Dad stood behind her, concerned. "What is it, Charlie? Something wrong?"

"I just came from the station. Had some early morning visitors." He sipped on his coffee. "This is quite good, Esme. Do you grind the beans yourself?"

"I do! It's a mix of –"

My dad gave her shoulders a squeeze. "Esme, dear, I believe Charlie is here about something a little more important than your personal blend of beans. What do your visitors have to do with us?"

"It was Mr Newton and his son. And Principal Gates. I'm real sorry to tell you, but the Newtons insist on pressing charges. And they're filing suit for medical costs."

My father huffed in disbelief. My mother gazed up at him innocently. "Pressing charges for what, exactly?"

"Assault. They're charging Edward with assault."

Mom flew from her chair, making Dad back up in a rush. We were all shocked by her sudden movement. "What the – No! This can't be happening. They can't be serious!" She was shrieking. "Look what those boys did to my son! Look! And they're charging him? We should be bringing charges against every one of those boys! And I think we will! Dear? Do you have what we need for that here? We're going to counter-sue. They're not getting away with this. They've bullied this poor boy his whole life, and look what's it's come to! And now they're filing criminal charges! Bullshit!"

Six sets of eyebrows flew up. Esme Cullen had cussed in anger. Unheard of.

"I mean it, Charlie! We're not backing down on this. Edward has suffered enough. Enough! It stops NOW!"

Jasper was the first to crack a grin. "Go, Mom! You're a little firecracker when someone invades the den, huh, Mama Bear?"

"Oh, Jasper, quit it! This is no time for jokes! I have never been more serious."

Behind her, Dad struggled to keep a straight face. "Honey, we all know you're serious. I'm going to take Edward down to the station with Charlie right now and get this straightened out."

"Good. I'm glad you're agreeing to that. I'm going to take statements from Bella here as well. She witnessed it. And the McCarty boy? How can I get in touch with him?"

"I'll get you his information. Rosalie? Dear, write out Emmett's number and address for Chief Swan, please. I'm going to contact Dr McCarty and get Edward's medical chart sent over immediately. He fixed him up on the side, but I'll gladly pay for any charges to show the damage those boys caused my son! Years, Charlie… years, those boys picked on Edward, and nothing was done. NOTHING! What kind of system is this?"

"An imperfect one, Esme. Things like this slip through the cracks. I know it's unjust. Edward, can you follow along in your own car, son? I don't want to put you in my cruiser. I can't put you in my cruiser."

"He can't drive, Dad. He has a concussion, plus no glasses, remember? I'll drive his car for him. Maybe you and Mr Cullen can talk on the way." Bella looked like she had a plan formulated. I was in no condition or position to argue with anyone, so I went along.

"Okay, Edward. Tell me what happened so we've got our story straight." Bella didn't hesitate to jump right into it as soon as we were in my car.

"What do you mean? You saw it, right?"

She shook her head slightly. "I only saw you on the ground before I ran for Emmett. I wanted to catch him before he turned the corner. I know Mike couldn't have done all of this to you himself, so I assume they all had a hand in it."

My pulse quickened. Bella hadn't seen everything! She didn't know what started it! I could protect Rosalie from knowing it was all over her. "They did, but you didn't see it."

Bella waved her hand at me. "Whatever. You're the only one who knows that. Tell me how it started and I'll say that I saw it all from the side… and then I waved Em down and all that. Who started it? Mike? Did they call you over? Or did something happen before the fight by the van? I need all the details. I'll leave out some stuff, since I would have been too far away to catch all of it. That will make it more believable."

"You can't lie for me, Bella."

"It's not entirely untrue. I was there. I did see some of it. Edward, I know you weren't responsible for this. Just tell me and I'll help you get out of it."

"This isn't detention, Bella. You can't do this."

"I'm aware it's not detention, Edward." She glared at me, stopping at a crossroad. "That's why you need help. This is serious beans. But we will get you out of it."

Even if it didn't involve my sister, I couldn't allow Bella to lie for me. "I appreciate your willingness to lie to your father… the Chief of Police… but it won't work. There were four of them, and only two of us. Even if we both told the same lie, they outnumber us."

"What do you mean, if we both lie?"

"I threw the first punch."

Her head swung around to gawk at me.

"Bella, watch the road please. I'm already in rough shape. I don't want to be back for more x-rays so soon."

"You started it? Why? Edward, there were four of them! What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't, clearly. They were just running their mouths off and I couldn't take it anymore. Simple."

"No. I'm not buying the whole 'bullied kid fights back' routine. I know you. I know you, Edward. You don't let their crap get to you. You ignore. You don't… God… you don't walk up to four guys and start a brawl! That's not you! What did they say to you? What did they do to you this time?"

I shrugged, staring blankly out the side window. There was no way I was getting Bella involved. "It doesn't matter. I took care of it."

I kept the same stoic stance while my father and I listened to Newton's account of my attack on him and his friends.

"He just went nuts! We were standing there, talking, and he just ran over and punched me! My friends tried to haul him off me, but he's got that super-human strength crazies get when they're raging! He started in on them, too! He even bit Eric! He bit him! What human being bites another one? He's insane!"

Chief Swan held up his hand, silencing Newton. "Edward? What's your side of this?"

"Pretty much the same," I replied with my eyes focused on the picture frame on the Chief's desk. It held a picture of Bella. "I did hit him, and some others. And I did bite Eric. They were on top of me. I had to get them off me."

"He broke my boy's nose, Charlie. Not to mention the damage to his nether region. He may well end up infertile!"

"Do you have a medical record indicating that?" Dad asked calmly. "The nose, we can see. I'm speaking of the issue of Mike's fertility."

"No! Of course we don't know that now."

"Then that is inadmissible. What we can verify is that my son broke your son's nose. Several others got into it, and sustained minor injury as well. I would say, having medical records and physical proof before us, that my son sustained far greater injury in this tussle, wouldn't you say? His glasses were broken as well. We've sustained more damages in the long run. Four boys against one is never a fair match-up."

"They had to jump in! This guy is a raging lunatic!"

My father chortled beside me. "Clearly. He is out of control, wouldn't you say, Charlie?"

The corner of the Chief's mouth lifted in a smirk. "It does sound like we've got a case of mutual mischief in the schoolyard here. Both boys took shots, both boys sustained injury. In my day, these things were worked out between families. Can't we work something out here? I've known both of you all your lives. Edward's never shown aggression of this sort before now."

"He attacked my boy! How many shows of aggression does it take to indicate a problem? If he were a dog, he'd be quarantined!" Mr Newton was practically foaming at the mouth.

Mike muttered, "If he were a dog, he'd be a rangy mutt."

"That's enough." Chief Swan calmly put an end to that comparison before sighing heavily. He wiped at his brow and sighed again. "Okay, who threw the first punch?"

"Cullen!"

"I did."

"See? He attacked first!" Mr Newton crowed when we both agreed to that fact.

"My son would not have simply walked up and struck another person without cause," Dad interjected. "Why don't you tell them why you did that, son?"

I kept my eyes trained on the photo. Bella had strengthened me. She had made me more confident, better able to be an equal to my siblings. I was the oldest Cullen child. It was my duty to stand up for my siblings. I'd been hurting people, and letting them down since birth. This was my moment to give something back.

"Edward?" Chief Swan prodded me gently. "Can you tell us why you did that?"

I shook my head. Mike snorted smugly across the room and then scowled at the pain it caused his face. I smirked. He deserved the pain.

"Look at him. He's enjoying this! He is crazy, I'm telling ya!" Mike whined.

"Enough of that! I can see why this has escalated into a brawl if you behave like this at school!" Chief Swan stood abruptly, accenting his frustration. "Look, I'm paid to serve and protect. I'm required by law to fill out any forms of complaint you all have, but I'm telling you now, this is a huge waste of the tax payers' money! This was a schoolyard tussle that went way too far. Period. Can we not drop the name-calling and just sit down and come up with a resolution that doesn't cost the town money? We're all adults here!"

"Is it simply a matter of name-calling, Charlie? Really? I understand the Cullen boy has been seeking psychiatric care for some time…"

What the…? How did he know that? Was Newton around when my mom showed up at school that day? I flinched and my dad swung around to face him furiously. "My son is not crazy!"

Chief Swan bowed his head, pinching his eyes shut for a moment before addressing us. "Is this true?"

"Edward has regular appointments with a psychotherapist. Not a psychiatrist! And it has nothing to do with the matter at hand."

"I beg to differ!" Mr Newton was on his feet, and Chief Swan was at the end of his rope.

"All right! Look, let's take ten minutes time out here. Grab some coffee. Simmer down. And we'll start this over again. Let's be civil about this, shall we?"

My father very calmly pleaded with me once we were alone to speak up about the cause of the incident. He wasn't buying that I was the instigator in this either. He grew more frustrated when I still refused. Before we could head back into the office, Chief Swan met with us.

"Okay, guys, here's the deal. Mr Newton has just agreed not to press charges if there is medical reasoning behind Edward's behaviour yesterday. By medical reason, he means psychiatric."

"I'm not crazy," I announced stubbornly.

"He insists on an evaluation."

"For Christ's sake!" Dad ran his hands through his hair. "That's ridiculous, Charlie! You know it!"

"I do. But it seems the most rational thing to do is go through with the evaluation and bide some time. This will blow over. He's in a huff right now, embarrassed that his kid got his ass kicked. In all honesty, Carlisle, if this goes to court, with Edward's history of psychotherapy and recent display of hostility, it will end with a mandatory assessment anyway. It's better to agree to it on your own terms, with your own doctor of choice."

"Fine. I'll arrange a meeting with Aro, and we'll set something up."

~ 0 ~

"Edward, you and I know each other very well at this point. You know that I never insist that you talk about anything you don't want to, but I'm afraid this is a different matter. Do you understand the consequences of keeping silent?"

I nodded.

"You are truly one of the most insistent young men I've ever known. Who are you protecting?"

I shrugged. Aro was pissing me off. I'd never had issues with Aro – ever. Today was different.

"Can you write about it?"

"Nope."

"Edward…" Aro sighed heavily, dropping his head into his hands. "I want to help you. You know that, don't you?"

I nodded, feeling somewhat remorseful for causing him grief. He'd been the best therapist I'd ever spoken with. I could tell him anything – almost.

"Were you angry that day? Before the fight began, I mean. Can you tell me that?"

Huffing out a breath, I slumped further down in my chair, then stood and began pacing. "I don't know. Not really. I was talking to Emmett just before. I wasn't mad then."

"But you were prior to that? Is that what you're saying?"

"I just… ugh! I don't know, Aro! I get frustrated really easily lately. Irritable. That's not why I hit Newton and those other guys, though. Separate issue."

"Why do you suppose you're more irritable these days? Has something changed?"

Yeah. I'm the worst brother in the world for falling in love with my brother's girlfriend. I'm trying to make up for that, but it's there, in my face every fucking day! I can't get away from it. I don't really want to, either. I love both of them. I need both of them. And Bella's leaving. She loves my brother, not me – and she's leaving us both. And I can't tell you any of this because then it will be even more real and even more horrible! "Not really," I lied.

"Edward, you are my client. You have total confidentiality in here with me, do you understand that? This has nothing to do with the pending charges or evaluation. This is you and me, and what you say stays between us. What I want you to know is that I will be speaking to the psychiatrist who will evaluate you – not giving specifics of our talks, but a general evaluation of my own. If you let me in, I'll be in a better position to help you. Please, talk to me."

I continued pacing, thinking of those assholes and their filthy mouths and minds. The thought of them even thinking of my sister in a sexual way sickened me. "They were talking about my sister. Disgusting stuff!"

"Ah. And it angered you."

"It pissed me off! They have no right! I don't give a shit what they think of me or what they do to me, but that's my sister! No one disrespects my sister. Rosalie is the sweetest person alive! She'd never hurt anyone! She'd help anyone… she's friends with everyone! Why would they say rude things about her? She's never done anything to deserve that!"

"Neither have you, Edward." Aro's voice was so smooth and casual in the midst of my rant that even that angered me.

"She's different!" I shouted.

"Why? Why is she different? Why does she deserve better treatment than you?"

"Because she's a better person than me!" I screamed, a sob catching in my throat. I wiped away the tears that fell angrily. "She just is."

"When you calm down, I'd like you to think of one specific reason why Rosalie is more deserving of respect than you are. Okay?"

I faced away from the chair Aro sat in, staring out the window. My father was waiting in the parking lot. I strained my eyes so focus in on him. From what I could see, he looked like he was on the phone in the car. He was missing time at the office because of me. I was inconveniencing someone else, along with Dad. The story of my life. Someone was always inconvenienced because of me. "She's more deserving because she's spent her life standing up for me when I was too weak – too afraid to do anything for myself. For once… for one fucking moment… I was defending her! It's the least I could do. She deserves so much more."

"You feel you were repaying her in some way by fighting those boys?"

"No. I just wanted them to shut their fucking mouths! I wanted them to stop! I wanted them to know they can't talk about her that way! She's different! I wanted them to know that she's one girl who's honest, and smart, and just… good. When she gives her heart, she means it. She doesn't toy with guys. She isn't bitchy with girls. She's just everybody's friend and one guy's girl. That's it."

"So, Rosalie is different than the other girls you know in these ways?"

"Yeah… no! I don't know! I don't know any girls other than her and Bella. Not really. I just see them… how they act. How they talk about each other and mess with guys and stuff. I don't know! I just know that Rosalie is different."

"You mentioned Bella. Is she different as well?"

I froze. Had I mentioned Bella? I always tried to be casual when she came up in our conversations. "Bella… Bella's great for Jasper. They're good together."

I heard Aro shifting behind me. I turned to see him setting his pad and pen down. "I'm a bit confused, I'm afraid. Bella and Jasper are dating? Is that right?"

I nodded, shrugging as casually as I could.

"Is this a recent development?"

Shaking my head, I stepped away from the window. "Nope. They've been together a long time."

"Huh. That's very odd."

I stopped in place, staring at Aro while he studied me. We stared each other down for several moments. "What's odd?" I finally challenged him.

"All this time you've talked about Bella, you've never mentioned that she's dating your brother. You talk about her as though she were your friend –"

"She is!"

Aro nodded slowly, a gentle smile on his lips. "I'm certain it's my own error. I always assumed that you had feelings for her."

"She's my friend! That's all! I would never do anything to hurt my brother!" Suddenly, Aro was enemy number one again, top of my list of people pissing me off.

"Of course not! No, I don't believe for one second that you would hurt anyone aside from yourself, Edward."

I scoffed at his remark in an angry snit. "This isn't about me! It's about doing what's right for my sister and –"

"Your brother. I understand. I do." He stood up, folding his hands in front of him. "Our time is up today, Edward. Of course, if you'd like to keep speaking to me, I'd be happy to push back my other appointments."

"Nope! I'm fine." My voice was seething. My blurry eyes shooting daggers at him.

"You don't seem fine, Edward. You're quite angry with me at the moment, aren't you."

"Yep."

He nodded. "I'll see you on Friday, as usual?"

I snorted as I shrugged my jacket halfway on, my casted hand wouldn't go through the sleeve. "Like I have a choice."

"You always have choices, Edward. I'd like to see you on Friday. I'd also like to sit in with you for your evaluation. Would you like me to be there for you?"

"I don't know anymore," I replied truthfully. I had a feeling he was about to sell me out.

"I won't be discussing any of this. You don't have to bring up anything we've talked about. Your only obligation will be to fill out some questionnaires, respond to the doctor's questions, that's all really. I do have a strong feeling that we won't be able to put off medication this time, however. I feel I should warn you about that. Based on what I've seen today, and what you've told me about the incident and your recurring anger of late, you won't be able to escape criminal charges if you do not agree to medication and anger management. That's my professional opinion. My opinion as your friend differs somewhat. Do you want to hear that?"

"I don't know. Do I?" I challenged.

"I think you know where your anger is stemming from, Edward. Thoughts are not the same as actions. You cannot help your thoughts. None of us can, dear boy. They don't make you a bad person. As a friend, I beg you to give yourself a break on that. You don't have to be superman for one sibling to make up for what you think you've done to another. You don't deserve to be beat up by anyone, much less yourself. See you Friday?"

I nodded in silence. He knew. He fucking knew I was in love with Bella. Just perfect. In the end, I rationalized that it didn't matter anyway. Bella was leaving. None of it mattered.

~ 0 ~

Bella came home with Rosalie and Jasper after school. All three rushed into my room to find out what had happened. I related the day's events, plus the newest information that I would be suspended for a week. The other boys involved got three days each. Bella didn't say much. I couldn't see her face clearly enough to decipher her thoughts. I could only imagine that she was disappointed in me.

I got a text message later that night. Grabbing the old glasses my mother had dug out of the bottom of a drawer somewhere, I put them on to read.

'u make things so difficult 4 urself. I would have helped'

'you would have lied.' I typed back.

':/ I care about u Edward…'

'it would have been between you and me. that's it…'

'I don't want to see u hurt…'

'will u ever tell me?' Her messages were hitting me rapidly. I barely had time to read them let alone think.

'tell you what?'

There was a long pause while I waited for her response.

'nothing. forget it. goodnite.'

A/N ~ Edward was humbled by the reactions of my fix-up team, msj and Shug. I hope you're all proud of him too. Do we like angry Edward? I'm going to have him join us in a group hug. He needs the loving and I need a way to thank you all for sticking with us. Thanks for reading. XX ~ SR