Chapter 3 – Illogical
Blaise and Theo were seated at the back of the Transfiguration classroom, Theo trying to transfigure his orange into an apple, while Blaise was sitting back munching on one of the many apples he had already transfigured before McGonagall start the homework essay early.
"You'd think oranges to apples would be a lot easier than some of the other things we've had to do over the years" Theo complained as his orange became red, but otherwise stayed orange-like "I mean, it's not like they're animals or anything."
"Ummm Theo" Blaise said "I hate to ruin the mood, but everyone else has started to catch up to me."
"Oh"
"Yah, your kinda the only one still transforming"
"Ohhhh…,"
"Hey, don't worry, your upset about the whole Malfoy thing. I would be too if he did that to me.
Theo subconsciously patted the bruise over his right eye. Thanks to the immediate medical attention he had received, it was impossible to tell that his nose had recently been broken, but the swelling around his eye just didn't want to go down completely.
He took a deep breath, and tried to forget about Malfoy. As soon as Malfoy was out of his mind, another person came to mind to distract him. Theo tried to ignore this new distraction, and attempted to transform another orange.
"Hay that's better" Blaise said "Umm… but it kinda has a face."
"Really? I don't see it."
"Right there; it kinda looks like a girl's face."
"Nah, it's just got some lines. Hang on I'll try another one."
This time Theo's apple was perfect, and Professor McGonagall came up to inspect his apple and congratulate him, which only served to embarrass him. Not that he didn't like compliments, but the class was quiet enough for everyone to hear, and he was the last to get his transfiguration right.
Once the professor was back at her desk, Theo brought out his parchment and began the homework, feeling glad that McGonagall had given them an easy first lesson for a change. The classroom was rather quiet for a while, until there was a knock on the door and Harry Potter entered the classroom.
Professor McGonagall seemed surprised to see the Chosen One back in class, but made no comment on the earlier fight and gave him a box full of oranges, directing him to Theo and Blaise's table, saying that "Mr. Zabini will help you if you need it."
Potter cautiously made his way over to their table and took a seat next to Blaise, who grinned at him and gave him a quick high-five under the table.
"That was so awesome what you did to Malfoy before" Blaise whispered "thanks for sticking up for us."
"Oh, that's ok" Harry said, somewhat confused "anytime. So what are we doing with these oranges?"
Theo concentrated on his essay, making sure that he spelt the incarnations right and that he didn't smudge the ink as he wrote. Shoddy 'guaranteed no smudge' quill that barely helped at all. Why couldn't the Wizarding World adopt pen and paper? Muggles clearly had the right idea there.
"Hi Nott" Potter whispered, "are you alright? You're face looks a bit different."
Damn he was observant. He was sitting on the other side of the table and Theo's long fringe obscured most of his face anyway. How had he managed to notice the black eye?
"Oh… Malfoy" Theo muttered "he wasn't too happy that I healed him."
"What?"
"Once Theo repaired Malfoy's face and he regained his sensors, he well, he took one look at Theo and was like "oh great, now you're going to want a favour or something you… well then he called Theo something really not nice."
"Defiantly not something you want to hear."
"Yah, and then Theo said, what was it you said again?"
"I said, 'well fine Malfoy. Next time I won't bother. It's not like anyone likes your face or anything.' And well, then he punched me so hard he broke my nose."
"What an ungrateful little – "
"Boys, if you are not talking about transfiguring fruit, then I'll have to ask you to be quiet." McGonagall snapped at them.
"Sorry Professor."
Theo continued on his essay as Blaise continued to help Potter catch up with the transfiguration. It was no surprise that Professor McGonagall had sent Potter over to Blaise; Blaise's carefree attitude hid a very skilled Transfigurationest. From the very first year Blaise had shown a natural flair for the subject and applied himself hard to his studies, making it impossible for even Hermione to get better marks then the class clown.
For the rest of the lesson the three of them worked well, and Potter soon had his oranges all turned into juicy red apples. The only time they ever spoke of anything other than transfiguration was when Potter asked where his Gryffindor friends were, and Blaise explained that they must be in the other class since they had had Herbology first.
Theo had almost finished his essay when the bell rang and they were free. He quickly packed away his parchment and ink, and then wiped the ink stains of his left hand with a rag he carried around for that very purpose.
"Missing the muggle world already Lefty?" Blaised teased.
"How can anyone possibly prefer writing with a quill?" Theo replied "I mean would it really hurt to adopt pens?"
"And TVs. We need them in Hogwarts too" Blaise reminded him.
"Defiantly" Theo agreed "I'm having withdrawal already."
"You watch TV?" Potter asked as they left the classroom "Oh wait, of course you must. Since you know about Star Trek and stuff."
"Yah I love TV" Theo admitted "Anything science fiction or fantasy wise is good to me. Though Star Trek is my favourite show. I really can't wait until Blaise hurries up and builds a magic-powered one so we can watch stuff here."
"You make it sound so simple" Blaise said "Like, I'm just going to go and pull apart this TV, throw a few spells into it, and then we'll all get to watch Frasier after a hard day at school."
"But you said you could do it?"
"Well, yah, it can be done, but we aren't going to get any reception in Hogwarts, so there isn't much point."
"We could still watch videos on it."
"Argh, that means I have to make a video player."
"And why not a Nintendo?"
"Theo, I do need to do actual school work this year."
"It would be pretty fun having a TV in the school though" Potter said "could you really make one?"
"Eventually. Though if I do get it working then Theo is probably just going to sit in front of it all day watching Star Trek videos."
"Not all day!" Theo protested "besides, I have plenty of Lost in Space videos to watch as well."
"Nerd." Blaise laughed "Oh you were raised by muggles, weren't you Harry? What TV shows did you really love growing up?"
"Oh a few" Potter said, seeming a bit surprised that Blaise had called him by his first name "I didn't really get to watch that much TV growing up. Liked The Simpson's quite a bit. Though my Aunt got pretty angry if she ever saw anyone watch it in the house."
"Ah, that sucks it's a good show" Blaise said "If I ever do get the TV working then I'll bring all my videos. You can make up for lost time then."
"Wow thanks."
"Don't thank me yet" Blaise said "I still have to start making this. I'm not quite sure how many owls I'll need to deliver a TV and its parts into Hogwarts though."
Theo listened as Harry and Blaise talked about TV shows, and remembered the first time he ever saw TV; the muggle child-protection services had taken him and Alice away from their father after some of the townsfolk had reported the two strange children wandering around town.
It was a pretty hard time for the Nott family, and Theo was terrified that he would be separated from his big sister. Alice snuck him out of the offices that they had originally been brought to and together they explored the big building full of strange muggle contraptions. In one waiting room they had found a nice man watching TV. He shared some soft drink with the two frightened children and allowed them to watch TV with him for a while.
Alice had introduced Theo to muggle books many years before, when he was suffering from constant boredom, but nothing he had read from the muggle world, or even the wizarding world, compared to the pure magic of the events that were happening in this small box, or the amazing adventures those muggles had onboard their starship. From that moment on, Theo was a muggle-obsessed Star Trek fan. A passion that Alice encouraged.
"Oh-oh, Malfoy alert." Blaise said, snapping Theo out of his memory.
The three boys turned to stare down Malfoy and the Slytherin girls that flanked him. Malfoy shot back his most contemptuous sneer before marching past them. He didn't say a word to them at all.
"Oi Malfoy" Harry called after his enemy "I'm sorry I beat your face up so badly that Nott had to heal you. It won't happen again, and I hope you're alright. Do you want flowers?"
"You'll pay for that Potter" Malfoy snarled "when you're alone, with none of your freak show following you around, I'll get you."
"Wow his really losing his touch" Blaise said as the group left "Well I better get going, Muggle Studies is up a few floors and I really don't want to be late."
"You do muggle studies?"
"Yup, Theo and I have been doing it since third year. Theo decided to be a bum though and drop it this year."
"But you're father is a muggle. Why would need to do muggle studies?"
"Because I wasn't born knowing how television actually worked" Blaise joked as he took off "See you guys. Have fun in Herbology."
Later
Theo and Harry made small talk on their way to Herbology, where Harry was reunited with Neville Longbottom. He tried to include Theo in their conversation, but Theo still found himself being left out a lot. He wasn't overtly hurt by this; after all he wasn't the most talkative person around and he kind of did bring it on himself.
After a relatively clean Herbology lesson Theo returned alone to the Great Hall, where he took a seat opposite Blaise; one that faced the other three tables.
"Potter go off with one of his friends?" Blaise asked as he sat down.
"Yah, he met Longbottom in Herbology"
"I can't believe he ditched you like that."
"He didn't ditch me. We just weren't talking as much. I mean he even said 'see ya' and all that before he left. Where's Xanthe?"
"Oh she's off with her friends"
"Which ones?" Theo asked, aware that while Xanthe wasn't really close to anyone, she did seem to be friends with half the girls in the school.
"I think she's over at the Ravenclaw table"
"Ah yah, I see her. Hay are you alright?"
"Huh? Yah of course, why?"
"Not worried about being ditched on your first day back?"
"Xanthe's allowed to spend time with her friends. It's not like she has to spend every second with me just because we're dating."
"I know… but you look a bit down."
"Professor Burbage gave us a lot of homework" Blaise said "that's all."
"If you say so"
Conversation became harder then due to Blaise shovelling food into his mouth at a pace that made speech impossible. Theo ate his lunch a bit more slowly, and didn't try to coax his friend to talk. After a few minutes he noticed Blaise turn around in his chair, presumably to look at Xanthe over at the Ravenclaw table.
"If you keep turning around like that she'll notice you looking" Theo said.
"Huh?"
"Xanthe, she'll notice you watching her."
"I'm not looking at Xanthe, I'm turning around to see what you were looking at."
"I wasn't looking at anything."
"You were spacing out and staring over at the Gryffindor table."
"No I wasn't."
"You were staring at Hermione weren't you?"
Theo felt his face go pink at the mention of Hermione's name, but he still attempted to deflect Blaise's suggestion.
"No, I was just spacing out, as you said. Just thinking of that last Voyager episode. It was a two part one about a race of time altering aliens who – "
"You love Hermione Granger!" Blaise said.
"I…I… nnnnaaaaah. I don't."
"You asked her to go with you to the Yule Ball as soon as it was announced."
"I was just asking as a friend" Theo said "and she said no. It was no big deal. I mean we didn't know her as well back then anyway."
"No big deal? You spent like, two months sulking and then refused to even go on the night. You didn't even ask anyone else to go with you."
"I wasn't sulking. And who else was I going to ask? Millicent Bulstrode? And I just didn't want to go to the Yule Ball anyway; it was my birthday remember? I'm allowed to spend my birthdays however I want right?"
"But you would have gone with Hermione?"
"Well I… um… well… ahhhhh…,"
"I got you."
"Well… these nothing between us. She turned me down and that's that."
"Theo… that was almost two years ago. That doesn't mean she would never ever go out with you."
"Yah but… well… I get all nervous every time I try to talk to her now. She probably thinks I'm some sort of freak."
"Well these only one way to fix that."
"How?"
"Talk to her and let her see how normal you are."
"… I'm not normal though!" Theo said"And well, I can't. You're the one who's good at chatting up girls. What am I meant to talk to her about?"
"Well, she seems to like Star Trek" Blaise reasoned "She said she watched it heaps as a kid, and she gave you the Vulcan-thingy last year."
"You think she'll be interested enough?"
"If she is, then you've struck the jackpot. Anyway, we have Arithmacy next, and she'll defiantly be doing that this year. Why not use that lesson to ask her who her favourite captain is? Or ask what she thinks of the Prime Directive? Or Spock's bloody pointy ears?"
"What if she just thinks I'm a geek?"
"I think Hermione Granger is the last person who can call someone else a geek."
Later
Halfway through their first arithmacy lesson and so far Theo hadn't said a word to her at all. Blaise wished he could slap Theo across the face and tall him to get his act together, but that would just get him in trouble and leave Theo to answer a lot of awkward questions.
Blaise looked down at his sheet full of complex mathematics and magic. He was really stuck and would have normally asked Hermione for help by now, but if he did that today then they would start a conversation and Theo would probably let himself be left out. Blaise tapped his quill repeatedly against a particularly hard question; he loved Theo as a brother, but he had the capacity to be an endless source of frustration.
"Are you two alright?" Hermione asked. The three of them were all seated around the one table, with Hermione by herself at one side.
"Just tiered" Blaise muttered, folding his arms and putting his head on the table. He thought about the skiving snackbox sweet he had in his pocket; perhaps if he got sick and had to leave the two of them alone together that would help. Hermione would ask Theo what was wrong with him, and then Theo would have to answer. Soon the conversation might shift from Blaise to other things.
Blaise actually reached into his pocket and grabbed the sweet, before realising that if he did start throwing up everywhere then Theo would insist on taking him to the hospital wing, and then the whole plan would be ruined.
"Well you and Xanthe should probably ease up then."
"Hermione Granger" Blaise said in shock "you have a dirty mind!"
"You give me a lot to work with."
"What's that meant to mean?" Blaise said. He didn't really want to talk about Xanthe at the moment; not that anything was wrong between them, but Blaise was feeling a bit ignored at the moment, no matter how much he tried to hide it from Theo.
Theo, who would probably never get a chance to make a move on Hermione if he started arguing about his sex life with her. Now Blaise just had to think of a way to get Theo in on the conversation without embarrassing him to death.
"What goes on between Xanthe and myself is really none of your concern Miss Granger" He said "We're both sixteen, we both really like each other… but that's beside the point. Theo, have I ever talked about what goes on between me and Xanthe in private?"
"No" Theo said "but well… you do seem to have a dirty mind sometimes."
"Oh how do I?"
"Well, every time I pat Leia you ask if I like stroking pussy."
"You've said that to me too" Hermione complained "and it wasn't funny when you kept asking if you could pat my pussy every time Crookshanks was around."
"I was fourteen, I thought it was hilarious" defended Blaise "wasn't it Theo."
"No not really, and it wasn't funny when, well, ummm…."
"When I asked you if you liked patting Hermione's pussy?"
Blaise instantly regretted the words, as Theo went a deep shade of red and hunched over his work, ignoring the conversation.
"Blaise you are really disturbed." Hermione said "don't be embarrassed Theo, I know you're not like that."
"Oh, ok."
There was somewhat of an awkward silence, but just as Hermione looked ready to get back into her work, Blaise kicked Theo under the table, and finally he got it together and started talking to her.
"Hay Hermione, whoseyourfavouritecaptain?"
Well, maybe not completely together.
"Umm… sorry Theo, what was that?"
"Oh, I was just wondering well, who is your favourite Star Trek captain?" he asked "I mean, you said you were interested in Star Trek didn't you?"
"Yah, my Father is a huge Trekkie. I grew up watching Next Generation. Captain Picard was a huge inspiration to me growing up."
"Yah his awesome" Theo agreed "The first time I saw him he was just well, just awesome."
"Just awesome?"
"He was resolving problems with crystal-like aliens and protecting his crew from danger… I love watching Picard."
"So Picard is your favourite Captain too?"
"Well I… he was" Theo admitted "but the more of Voyager I watch, the more I love Captain Janeway."
"Oh, so you have a little crush on the new lady captain?"
"No, no not love her like that" Theo said, some of his nervousness returning "I mean, she's very intelligent, very caring, very strong-willed,"
For a brief second Blaise found himself wondering if his friend was referring to Janeway or Hermione
"…and she really looks after her crew. If I was stranded 75,000 light-years across the galaxy, I'd want her as my Captain."
"Ah I see. I haven't seen that much of Voyager, or umm… the other new one"
"Deep Space Nine?"
"That's it. But from what I have seen, I still think Picard is the best Captain. He's the Captain that I'd go to for help if Hogwarts were being invaded."
"Yah, but Janeway would be a lot easier to serve under." Theo said "Not to mention that after travelling through Borg Space, Voyager is a more powerful ship then the Enterprise."
"I doubt she could be wiser than Picard"
"Well not wiser, but I still love her attitude; keep your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship, and never abandon a member of your crew."
As Hermione prepared her counter arguments Blaise tried to focus on his work once again. They were having an actual conversation. That hadn't happened since Hermione shot him down for the Yule Ball.
Later
As soon as the Arithmacy lesson was over Blaise rushed off, saying he needed to get something from the dormitory. Theo knew that he was really leaving to give him some time alone with Hermione while they walked to Potions, and he was glad. Things were going so well between the two of them. They had spent so much time talking about Star Trek, then muggle technologies that Hermione had for the first time ever not completed her class work.
He was also very afraid. Now that Blaise was gone there was no-one around to help him if something went wrong, and even though he loved science fiction technologies and lived with the Zabinis, Theo still wasn't that good with current muggle technologies, and knew that it was only a matter of time before he stuffed up something.
"They say that the internet is really going to take off in a big way" Hermione explained "but I really find it hard to imagine. I mean, everyone connected? It really is mind boggling. I think I've spent too many years in the Wizarding World to ever hope to understand technology like that."
"Yah, I've heard about that internet stuff" Theo said "but I have enough trouble with a computer as it is. Though it would be good to master the internet."
"A Pureblood wizard wanting to master the internet?"
"Well imagine it. One computer, connected to thousands of libraries around the world. Imagine how much easier it would be to look up stuff."
"Knowing human beings, we'd probably just use it to send each other stupid jokes and porn. Or cat pictures."
"Porn?"
"Yah, well, as you said; one computer connected to thousands of libraries; well by that logic your computer could also be connected to thousands of pornography magazines or movies."
"Well, nah. That's just illogical"
"Illogical? You sound like a Vulcan"
"Sorry, I'm having withdrawal. But anyway, we don't live in a world of Blaises. I think if these too much on the internet it slows down; I don't see why anyone would waste internet speed on something like porn when there are so many other uses it could be put to."
Hermione started giggling, which worried Theo; was his idea about how the internet worked so wrong that he'd just made a complete ass of himself in front of Hermione?
"Did I say something wrong?" He asked
"Oh no, nothing at all" Hermione said "It's just. You're not like other teenage boys, are you?"
Theo wondered how he was supposed to answer that question. Was being different from other teenage boys a good or bad thing?
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Theo asked, trying to ignore the snickering portraits that watched them as they walked.
"It's a good thing" Hermione said "you're… sweet and innocent. Most guys in our year seem to think of sex all the time."
"Oh I think of sex a lot" Theo admitted, and then instantly wished he could take it back. You idiot he thought don't go admitting that kind of stuff to her! Do you want her to think you're a pervert?
Hermione burst out laughing, at first Theo had to fight the impulse to run away and hide, but her laughter didn't seem that bad. Like she was laughing with him, and soon Theo found himself laughing too.
"I guess that was a stupid thing to say."
"Nah it's alright. It's just, I guess I wasn't expecting you to be a normal teenage boy."
Ok, so now he was a normal teenage boy, not different. Was that a good or a bad thing?
"Is that a good or a bad thing?" he asked again.
"Oh it's fine" Hermione laughed "you're a good friend whether you think about sex or not."
Wow, she had called him a good friend. Theo didn't think she had said that before. But didn't friends sometimes have a thing against dating friends? Damn it is this a good or a bad thing?
"Oh oh!"
"What?"
"Everyone else has gone in."
They had arrived at the Potions dungeon, but the deserted corridor was a sign that they had dawdled too long.
"We are going to get in so much trouble."
Filled with dread, they made their way to Snape's classroom.
Meanwhile
Harry was not in a good mood. The reason Harry wasn't in a good mood was partially because Snape wasn't happy about having him or Ron in his class, and partly because Ron and Blaise kept glaring at each other like they wanted to really get violent. It was getting uncomfortable sitting between the two of them.
As soon as they had sat down Snape had began to attack them.
"Ah Mr. Potter, I see you managed to get to this class despite your lower marks and violent outbursts. Though I am surprised to see Mr. Weasley here."
As Malfoy, Bulstrode and Moon had looked back at the two Gryffindor's and giggled, Ron began asking – no, begging more like – to be allowed to stay in the class. Even Harry thought it was a bit pathetic. Of course, no-one really believed that Ron was taking the course for educational purposes, and soon Blaise Zabini was yelling at him to stop chasing after his mother. It had gotten so bad that Harry was worried that they may end up hexing each other.
Fortunately Michael Corner asked in disbelief if Prof. Zabini was really Blaise's mum before it got too bad. And then poor Blaise had been subjected to questions from all the male students about his mother. Rather personal questions.
The upside of that incident was that Snape allowed Ron to take his class after all; the slimy git seemed to be amused by the possibility of Ron and Blaise stirring each other up. It was the only time Harry could remember seeing Snape actually amused by anything other than the Potions of Slytherin students.
Now the class was settled and lessons starting. Harry was hoping for the last lesson of the day to be uneventful.
There was a knock on the door. Snape suddenly stopped looking amused and beckoned the knocker to enter. Hermione and Theo walked in, looking quite terrified.
"Ahh, Miss Granger" Snape said "finally decided to join us? Glad to see this class isn't so beneath you that you didn't even need to show up."
"That's completely illogical Sir" Theo said, causing Hermione to put her hand to her face in an attempt to stop some giggles.
"Illogical, Mr. Nott?" Snape asked, seemingly shocked that his quietest student would speak up.
"Well, yah" Theo continued, now lacking some of his earlier bravado "I mean, if Hermione thought this class was beneath her, she wouldn't have taken it."
"I assure you Professor, I am serious about this class" Hermione said once the giggles were gone.
"Well in that case I suppose you'll come on time in the future. I'm docking 10 points, from both of you."
Harry was amongst the many in the room to gasp; that was the first time he could remember Snape taking points off of a Slytherin before.
Hermione and Theo took two seats on the table behind where Harry, Ron, Blaise, and Ernie Macmillan sat. Fortunately, the rest of the lesson was uneventful.
Later
"I can't believe they gave us so much homework on our first day back." Ron complained as they sat together in the Gryffindor common room.
"Oh Ron we were given a lot of time to work on those essays in class" Hermione said "don't complain just because you were too busy talking to other guys about Blaise's mother."
"I hardly said a word about her!" Ron protested "did I Harry?"
"Huh?"
Harry had been only vaguely paying attention to this exchange as he finished off his Transfiguration work. It was a good thing Blaise had helped him so much in class, for now Harry only had to go through making small corrections.
"In potions, Zabini started that fight didn't he?"
"Well…" Harry had nothing against Blaise, but Ron was still his best friend. And technically, Blaise had been the one to start the fight "yah he did."
"See"
"Ron, just don't make any moves on his mother."
"It wouldn't work anyway" Ginny sat down next to them "I had Defence today. You really don't want to go there Ron."
"Wow, how was the lesson?"
"Well, she asked if I was Molly Prewett's Daughter" Ginny said "and then she said how they were in the same dorm at Hogwarts and asked me how she was."
"That seems nice of her."
"You're missing the point Ron. Same dorm at Hogwarts? She was in mum's year. She's the same age as our mother!"
"Oh… but how was the lesson?"
"You're hopeless Ron!" Ginny complained as she stormed away to sit with her friends again.
"I wonder what her problem is" Ron asked "Oh by the way Harry, have you seen the timetable? We have Defence first tomorrow, and then Study second! A whole morning of Prof. Zabini!"
"And her son" Hermione added.