True Love Way

Chapter 8

I made the phone calls along the way that I had promised to make. We kept them short and sweet – made jokes of them in an attempt to erase the last scene from our minds. I returned home to an email from Bella, thanking me again. And apologizing again. She blamed it on her lack of emotional control. And mentioned something about bad timing and hormonal fluctuations. I didn't understand that part, and didn't want to. I convinced myself that it had been a case of verbal diarrhea in her emotional state – or transplanted feelings in her time of need. I was there; Jasper was not. Now that neither of us was near Bella, it would return to normal. She could care about me as a friend but still love my brother. I could bury my heartache over never being able to have the girl of my dreams and carry on as usual. There was no other way.

Jasper was concerned with how Bella was coping, of course. Other than that, he didn't question me about how we'd spent our time together, or what we'd done. He trusted me. That sent my guilt skyrocketing, because he had no idea how close I'd been to stabbing him in the back.

Neither Bella nor I mentioned our parting scene again. We simply carried on – as best friends.

~ 0 ~

"I'm going into Seattle for the weekend, scouting out housing. Wanna come?" Jasper flopped on my bed and started scanning through my iPod to see if I had anything new.

"So you're going for sure then?"

"Yep. I feel like I'm stagnating here. I'll have a better chance of getting into a really good law school coming from U-Dub. Plus, there's better action in Seattle."

I chuckled as I shut down my email from Bella. We didn't write every day, just most days. It had been a couple of days, so this was a longer one catching me up on everything going on in Phoenix. She wasn't expecting an immediate response. "More distractions though."

"Nah. I can be very focused when I know what I want."

"What's Rose gonna do without you? She'll have no one to practice her intelligent insults on." I smirked at him as he dropped my iPod and turned onto his side.

"Twin connection, bro. I'll still feel the sting of her thoughts from four hours away. Hey, what the hell is that thing? I keep meaning to ask you."

I turned my head to his line of sight. He was asking about my cactus. "It's a plant. A cactus," I stated, not giving up details unless necessary.

"Obviously."

I shrugged, trying to be casual about it. "It's a White Ghost."

He smirked at me. "It needs a tan almost as badly as you do. You a closet botanist now? You know what type of cactus it is?"

Trying to brush him off, I reminded him of when he could name every dinosaur alphabetically. "And you still have your fossil collection on display, right?"

"Whatever. That's part of history. It won't ever die. How will you even know when this thing is dead?"

I just rolled my eyes at him. "Want to grab some lunch?" And get the hell out of my room?

He didn't take the bait. When he stood, he went over for a closer look. I cringed, knowing that my other items from Bella sat beside it and hoped he wouldn't question those as well. The lemonade cap was upside down, with the stone wedged in it, so maybe he wouldn't notice. He was bent at the waist, examining the cactus closely. Just when I thought he was about to let it go, he picked up the cap and started tossing it back and forth between his hands.

I was a statue, watching it fly from hand to hand. What if he walked out with it, thinking it was trash? What would I say? Did he even realize it was heavier than it should be? "Come on, man. Emmett worked the shit out of me at the gym this morning. I'm fucking starving!"

Jasper palmed my cap, staring at me as he leaned against my window sill that housed my most vital items. "Heard from Bella lately?"

"Yeah. I was just writing her back. I'll finish up later."

"Yeah? What did she say?"

My heart pounded for no sound reason. "She was just telling me about her cousin's school play. You met Tanya at Christmas, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Cute kid. Anything else?"

"Just talking about final marks and summer job prospects. She might work in the cafeteria at the prison. Did she tell you?"

Jasper nodded slowly and hummed. "I'm not crazy about that idea."

"Yeah, but Garrett wouldn't put her into an unsafe situation. She'll be in the kitchen, not out on the front line with the inmates." This seemed like the oddest conversation to be having with him. He rarely talked to me about Bella these days and had never questioned what we talked about or when we talk. I noticed his eyes dip down to his hands. He was still for a moment and completely silent, which was beginning to freak me out.

"Speaking of food… diner?" He placed the cap down, stone-side up with a slap. "Let's get out of here."

~ 0 ~

My sister and Emmett decided to join us for the weekend in Seattle. Since my birthday was next week, they would combine the two events. I was doubly glad – less fuss on my birthday, and I wouldn't be alone with Jasper for the entire weekend. Emmett was driving, and Rosalie had stayed over there so Jasper and I were supposed to go meet them in the morning. I had a bitch of a time getting Jazz out of bed. I took the verbal abuse, but when he lobbed a trophy near his bed at me, I drew the line and slammed out of his room telling him to go fuck himself then. I called Rosalie and asked her if they could just pick me up instead.

By the time they arrived, Jasper was downstairs, still wet from the rapid shower and very apologetic. He was still in an ornery mood, but at least he'd apologized. I got more apologies from Rose when I went out to load our bags in the vehicle.

"I'm sorry, Alice asked if she could come, and I didn't know what to say! She broke up with this guy she's been seeing last night. She's really upset."

"Should be a fun trip," I grumbled.

Alice needed a pit stop before we were even an hour into the journey. I was fine with that. I needed a break from her incessant chatter. Upset Alice reverted to talkative Alice, and she was wedged in between Jasper and I in the back.

"I'm going in for a coffee," I announced, following Alice into the service station. Rose followed me, purchasing coffee for all. She insisted I ride up front with Emmett for the duration, proving she was the best sister ever.

Thankfully, we were able to get another room at the hotel or I would have tossed myself off the balcony if our unexpected guest had been a third roommate for me. We split up after an hour at the hotel, with Jasper and I hitting up three apartments he had arranged to check out. He was in a much better mood by then, so it was actually an enjoyable afternoon. He eliminated one without even stepping inside when we saw rat droppings at the top of the staircase by the vacant apartment. The other two were great. He just needed to choose whether he wanted to be closer to campus and have a furnished apartment, or pay a little less and buy his own shit. Ultimately, it would be Mom and Dad's decision, since they would be paying. I filmed both apartments on our walkthrough so he'd remember all the details of each.

We went to a bar and grill that had some live music and a relaxed drinking policy. Emmett was the only one legal, but they didn't bat an eye when Jasper ordered a beer for himself. The food was good and completely unhealthy – something which I'd been limiting myself to since I'd lost the excess weight. I'd managed to drop a few more pounds, even with adding a bit of muscle when Emmett started me on the heavier weights. The odd night of deviation wouldn't kill me. The performers were amazing as well. All in all, a successful night out for me.

"Having fun, almost-birthday boy?" Rosalie slid into the booth beside me when we were left at the table alone at one point late in the night.

Nodding, I slumped against her. "I just wish Bella was with us like last year."

I heard Rose take a sharp breath. "Don't say that around Jazz, okay? I think they're having some major issues right now. It's touchy."

I sat up straight to look at my sister. I hadn't heard from Bella since the day in my room with Jasper. I'd sent her another email, telling her we were headed out for the weekend, but she could text me. I hadn't heard from her in any format. "Jasper didn't say a thing. What's going on?"

She shrugged. "Don't really know. He hasn't said anything to me either. Emmett told me."

"How did Emmett know?"

"He got it from Alice."

I rolled my eyes. "So we don't really know what's going on then, do we? Somebody told somebody and all that shit. They're probably fine. He just gets pissy every now and then. Probably means it's time for a visit."

"That's just it…" Rosalie bent her head close to mine. "He had a flight booked, but he cancelled it. Don't ask for more details – that's all I know."

I whistled out my disbelief. It was standard practice with our brother that if he wanted to talk about something, he'd talk. We weren't to broach touchy subjects. It now concerned me that I hadn't heard from Bella at all. It wasn't the longest term of silence we'd had, but it didn't sit right.

Another thing that didn't sit right was Jasper's indulgence with the beer. He was currently feeling no pain, and there was no indication he was upset in the least by relationship woes. In fact, he and Alice were tearing up the dance floor.

"Looks like someone's getting right back on the horse," Emmett commented, watching his sister dance with Jasper and another guy at the same time.

"Uh-huh," Rose and I said together.

"But who's the horse?" Rosalie hissed under her breath.

Emmett and I both heard and exchanged looks. "Maybe we should corral them and call it a night."

Rosalie was on her feet in a flash, grabbing her purse, along with Alice's. She marched onto the floor, said something in Jasper's ear, tapped Alice on the shoulder and hauled her outside. Emmett grabbed our bill, and I went to split it with him.

"Nah, man. It's our treat. I'll collect from Jasper later, don't worry. He owes me a third, plus damage control fees."

I smirked back at my friend. "Make sure he pays."

"Sorry about my sister crashing the party." Emmett was very sincere with his apology and seemed concerned.

"It's not a big deal, Em. She's family. If we were doing this at home, she'd be along anyway. Don't worry." I wanted him to know I appreciated how he'd taken me under his wing and let him know that we were willing to do the same with his sister – just as long as it was all of us, not Jasper, specifically.

Back at the hotel, Alice went to her room, and Rosalie asked me to give her and Jasper a minute, so I went to their room with Emmett. We scanned the porn options, making cracks about the very limited selection.

"I may have to kill your brother if he puts Rosalie in a bad mood and there's not even a decent flick for me to kill time with. Just warning you."

"Hey, Em… what's the deal with him cancelling his trip to Phoenix?"

He shrugged, shaking his head. "No idea, really. Alice was just on a rant about the airline not refunding his ticket. I didn't even know he had it booked. He had talked about it when he missed road tripping with you, but then I hadn't heard anything else."

"Bella hasn't mentioned it either," I commented.

"Well, she wouldn't. It's tricky when there's other relationships involved. Like, if Rose and I were to split… God forbid…" He crossed himself and looked to the heavens. "I wouldn't bring it to you or Jasper, because I'd still think of you as friends but respect that she's your sister. Know what I mean?"

Emmett earned even more respect for his sentiments, and I prayed that Bella felt the same. I knew she respected the siblings part – she had never said a bad thing about Jasper. The days of silence from her at this particular time was killing me though.

Whatever my sister said to Jasper in our room stayed between them, but it left him in a somber mood the next day. We made the trip home in awkward silence, Rose wedged between Alice and Jasper in the back, and Emmett and I making small talk in the front.

I had it in mind that if I still hadn't heard from Bella by the time I got home, I would call her. There was an email waiting for me. No mention of a cancelled trip. No mention of Jasper at all. All seemed normal.

~ 0 ~

Emmett and I had signed up for a week long field training course, shadowing paramedics and observing ER staff with their emergency care. The training was in Port Angeles, so we shared a room there rather than making the drive back and forth every day. We returned totally psyched about the EMT program. I was psyched about my life in general. For the first time, I was feeling confident in myself and my decisions. I'd thought being in a different environment might freak me out, but it helped that one person responsible for boosting my self-esteem was there with me. I didn't feel like a freak. No one saw me as the reject Cullen. I was just a paramedic-in-training with nobody having preconceived judgements about me. It was liberating.

Emmett came in with me when he brought me home, and Rosalie practically attacked us at the door. Our parents were gone for the weekend, but she made up for their absence questioning us for three. After filling her in on the week's excitement, I headed upstairs to give them some privacy. I tossed my bag on the floor inside my room before going to the washroom for a quick shower. I was exhausted, but I wanted to send Bella a quick email before I hit the sheets.

"Jesus Christ, Jasper! You scared the shit out of me!" Turning the light on in my room, I spotted him sitting by my desk. I leaned back on my door, one hand on my chest against my pounding heart and the other holding my towel up. "Fuck, man! What are you doing here sitting in the dark?"

"Just waiting for you," he replied casually. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Good thing." I snapped, moving to my closet to dig out a pair of sweats. "Nothing like shitting your pants when you aren't wearing any." I turned to look at my brother. He didn't even crack a grin at my joke. "What's going on?"

"How was your training?"

I turned my back to him to dress quickly as I responded. "Good. Great, actually. It was a great week. Learned a lot." Something was off. Jasper didn't look interested in really hearing about my week. "How was your week?"

"Bella and I broke up."

Thump.

Thump.

Thump-thump.

Thump-thump-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP…

"What?" I turned to face him.

"We. Broke. Up." He stared blankly as his staccato words were spoken.

"What the fuck? What happened?"

He shrugged, not moving in any way otherwise.

"Are you okay?" He was giving me the creeps, just sitting there staring at me.

"It wasn't working. I guess it's for the best."

He must have made the trip after all. Jasper wasn't one to squander money, so if his ticket wasn't going to be refunded, he probably went instead. And broke up with her… or did she break up with him? Why didn't Rosalie say anything?

"Does Rose know?"

"Nope." He kept his eyes on me, eerily unmoving. "I thought you'd want to know first."

This was weird. Really weird. When he broke up with Maria, he came to me all crying and shit. Then he got over it. His relationship with Maria wasn't nearly as intense as the one with Bella. He should be upset. He should be crying now. He should be… doing something. And until he did, how was I supposed to know what I should be doing?

"You're not okay," I commented quietly. "Wanna talk?"

He shook his head. "Not really."

"Go for a drive or something?"

"Nope. Thanks."

I didn't know what was more frustrating – my heart that refused to slow down to a normal pace, or my brother's lack of useful response. "Jazz, I'm sorry, man. I don't know what to say."

His tongue flicked out, wetting his lips before the bottom one disappeared into his mouth. He nodded slowly. "Yeah. Me neither." Finally, he broke his eye contact and stood. "Really, I just thought you'd want to know."

"If you need anything –"

Now he smirked. "Sure. Bro. I know you'll be here, right?"

I nodded. What the fuck…

"You forgot this." He tossed something back on my desk before he brushed past me and exited my room.

I flinched as his door closed with a bang, and then turned to look at my desk. I already knew what he was referring to – I just had to confirm it was my malachite stone and cap. I'd realized my mistake when I was getting changed the first time in Port Angeles. My Bella talisman was sitting beside me at my desk at home when I wrote to say goodbye for the week. Mom had called me downstairs as I was finishing packing, and then Emmett arrived early. I had completely gapped on picking it up from the desk. It was normally in my pocket, and if I hadn't been interrupted, it would have been. Part of my sense of pride had been that I'd made it the whole week successfully without the aid of my good luck charms.

Seeing it sitting there, my palms began sweating. I was drawn to it. I needed to feel it in my palm. It had been in Jasper's palm. Again. How many times, I wondered. How long had he been sitting there holding it tonight? It called out to me, but I couldn't bring myself to touch it. It seemed… contaminated. Feeling my anxiety building at a rapid rate, I rushed for my bag, fumbling with the lid on the pill bottle. I had to keep it together. If I freaked out over Jasper touching my –

He had no right to touch what was mine!

My head began pounding with the increased blood flow, even with the tiny tablet on my tongue. My fisted hands were shaking out of control.

He had no fucking right to take what should have been mine!

A rage that I hadn't felt since beginning medication surged through me. I had to get out of there. Thundering down the stairs, I raced past Rose and Emmett in the doorway saying goodnight.

"Hey, Ed!" Emmett called out.

"Edward? What's wrong?"

"Going for a run!" I called over my shoulder without looking back. I had to clear my head. I had to burn off the rage before something happened that I could never take back.

~ 0 ~

My night had been restless – filled with nonsensical dreams, thanks to the medication. And Jasper's odd behaviour. I'd been able to get my anger under control, but not my worry. Something was up. He was gone when I got up in the morning, so I took the opportunity to contact Bella. First, I sat at my computer, composing half a dozen lame emails that all got scrapped. I couldn't say what I needed to in an email. I picked up my phone.

"Hello." A weak, morning voice greeted me.

"Hey. I woke you. I'm sorry. Call me back when you're ready."

"No… I'm up. I am. I… I didn't really sleep."

Obviously, she was taking the break-up much harder than Jasper. Or maybe just differently. How would I know? I'd never had a girlfriend to break up with.

"Bella…" I whispered with a heavy sigh.

There was an audible sob on the other end. I could tell she was trying not to – or at least to cover it. She was unsuccessful with both.

"Bella, what can I do?"

"Oh, Edward!" There was no hiding the sounds of her weeping now. I sat there on my bed, listening to her cry it out, wishing I was there like I'd been when she cried for Gran. Would she cling to me again? Would she tell me she knew she'd chosen the wrong brother, she didn't just wonder?

"I'm sorry," she croaked out as she gained a small amount of control. "It's just… hearing your voice…"

"I wish I was there with you," I confessed.

"I wish you were, too."

"Do you want me to be? I can come down."

She made a snorting sound as she chuckled. I could picture her blowing snot bubbles – not normally the most attractive thing in the world, but on Bella, even that wasn't completely revolting. "You would, wouldn't you."

"I can be there by tonight."

"Your car can break the speed of light?" Even her teasing sounded hopeful.

"I'd fly."

There was silence.

"Bella?"

Another sob, a snort, and some uncontrolled giggling. "You'd fly?"

"I would."

"You hate flying."

"I'd fly for you."

"Edward…"

"Fuck. I wish I was there right now."

"I wish you were, too," she whispered. "I think."

What the fuck did that mean?

"Edward, did you know?"

"Did I know…?"

"That he was breaking up with me."

Ah. So it was his decision. That would make sense as to why Bella was more emotional right now. "No. I didn't."

She was silent again. "How long –" She cut herself off with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't involve you."

"What, Bella? You can say anything. Ask me anything. What were you going to ask?"

"How long has it been going on? Have I been a complete idiot this entire year?"

I was stupefied. "I don't know what –"

"Forget it. Forget I asked. It's not your problem."

"Bella, I want to answer… I don't want to forget it. I just don't know what you mean."

"He's your brother. I shouldn't be asking you to rat him out."

My mind raced, trying to put together her little blurts. Oh no… she thought… "He hasn't been cheating on you, if that's what you're thinking."

"Right. Bro code. I get it."

"Seriously! I'm not covering for him."

"He told me, Edward. He told me he's in love with her."

"With who?" I blurted in shock. What the hell was going on? And then it hit me. His devotion to Alice wasn't strictly related to his love of dramatic arts. "Oh, fuck."

"You know."

"Fuck!"

"Here's what he told me – just a sec, I'll pull it up."

"You recorded it?"

"Recorded? No. It's an email."

"An email?"

A sardonic snicker. A snort. A stifled sob.

"A fucking email? He told you in an email? He ended your relationship… in a fucking email?" I was livid. Pills wouldn't even help this one.

"You… you didn't know that?" she asked softly.

"No! He told me last night that you two had broken up. No details. I had no idea…" I was on my feet, pacing. "How could he do that? How could he do that… to you?"

"Edward, calm down. Look, we shouldn't be talking like this. I'm sorry I involved you –"

"You didn't," I hissed through clenched teeth. "I asked."

"And I'm ending it. I don't want there to be strife between you two. You're too important to each other."

"You're important, too," I reminded her.

"I'm smiling now, you know." Her voice was soft and dreamy. "I'm hideously blotchy and I have bags under my eyes, but I'm smiling. Because of you."

My anger simmered down as her words tugged on my heart. "I want to be there for you."

"Edward…"

"Just say the word, Bella, and I'll fly down there right now." I could hear her panting for air. Sniffling. My mind could picture her looking pained, but still beautiful. "Just say it."

"You're my best friend, Edward. Know that. Always know that."

"I do."

"You didn't know, did you? About Alice? Tell me the truth, please."

"I honestly didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"I believe you. And I'm sorry, too."

"For what? You didn't do anything."

"Edward…" Even her voice was pained. "Forgive me."

"Forgive you for what?"

"I'll miss you the most."

"I'm not going anywhere… unless you want me in Phoenix –"

"That's… not a good idea."

I hesitated. She sounded different. "If you change your mind, just say the word."

"I have to say goodbye, Edward."

I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt them fill with tears. "Okay. Call me later? When you're feeling better? Even just to say goodnight."

"Edward… don't…" She paused briefly. "Don't forget what I said. What you mean to me. Goodbye, Edward. Please forgive me."

The ugly sound of the disconnected call jarred me. I didn't even get to say goodbye! I dialled her number back. No response. I hung up and dialled again, leaving a message:

"I don't mean to bug you. I know you probably don't want to talk right now. I understand. I just want you to know… if you ever need… anything… I'll be there. I'd do anything for you, Bella. Know that. Please, know that. Call me when you can."

I sat with my silent phone in my hand for hours. I couldn't even work up the rage I'd felt towards Jasper's heartless method of ending a relationship. I couldn't wonder what the hell was going on with him and Alice. I couldn't think about how he'd held my gift from Bella… my gift… while he told me they were over. There was something chilling about the way Bella had ended our call. It felt frightening. It felt final. It felt like a definite goodbye.

~ 0 ~

I stuck to myself all day, but at dinnertime, Rosalie came up and asked if I was going to join them. She and Emmett had barbecued, taking advantage of a dry day. I considered it until she said Alice was with them. And Jasper was home. There was no way I could sit in a room with the two of them right now. In my heart, I believed that Jasper hadn't done anything with her… not yet. Not while he was with Bella. But Bella had said he told her that he was in love with Alice. Of course, that didn't prove anything – I was in love with Bella with the absence of anything physical between us. He couldn't have fooled around. He wouldn't have.

I could hear them outside. They were gathered under my window on the patio. Jasper was fairly quiet, and Alice, more quiet than usual. Rose's voice sounded strained. Emmett was in full say-anything-to-cut-the-tension mode. I was right to have stayed inside. In an effort to distract my mind, I pulled out my notes from training, and my text books for the upcoming term and began reading. I was more determined than ever to get on with school and start my life. Away from here.

Jasper was the next to come up to my room. "We're about to start a movie. Coming down? There's popcorn."

"Nah. I'm into this right now." I didn't even look at him.

He didn't take the hint and leave. Instead, he lingered around my doorway. "So… um, I should let you know that Alice and I are –"

My head shot up. "Are what, Jazz? Fucking around? In love? Screwing over your – Bella? Which is it?"

"Whoa! Ease off, man! What's eating your ass?"

I glared at him. "Seriously?"

"Look, bro, I know you and Bella are close –"

"Not as close as you and Alice, apparently."

Jasper huffed, pulling his hair back and looping his hands together over his head. "All right. Let's just get this out. I take it that you're pissed about this. So, what is it, man? Do you like Alice? Is that it? Did you want to date her?"

"No!" I hissed. "You're way off the mark."

"Am I?" His face contorted into a sneer of sorts. "You'd tell me if that was the case, right? If you wanted to date someone I was with?" He waited for an answer that he knew wouldn't come. "Right?" he reiterated.

"I. Don't. Want. Alice. Could I be any clearer?"

"Good. Because I am with her."

"Good for you. Be happy, man."

"I sense hostility."

"Very astute of you," I replied flippantly.

"I'm gonna ask you one final time, Edward. What's up your ass?"

It took every inch of restraint to keep from unloading on him. I took a deep, cleansing breath and calmly said, "I really think you could have done better with this whole situation."

Jasper stared back at me thoughtfully as he took in my statement. He nodded slowly and left me alone. Part of me was proud of myself for reining in my anger, but the other part – the stronger part – was disappointed. I'd let Bella down by not standing up for her and the shitty way she'd been treated. She had always backed me. She had even been prepared to lie for me over the whole Newton fiasco. I'd told her that I'd do anything for her, but when it came down to it, I couldn't even tell my brother off for breaking her heart.

~ 0 ~

I made attempt after attempt to contact Bella throughout the week. She wasn't answering her phone, or replying to texts. As a last resort, I went to email. I hadn't wanted to do that. If it was me who'd been dumped via email, I'd never want to see another message in my inbox. Particularly from anyone named 'Cullen'. I guess Bella was more like me than I realized – I got an error sending my email to her. She had closed her account. Fuck.

Rosalie was having no better luck getting a response from her either, and I was getting worried. Tempted to just act on impulse like before, and get myself to Phoenix by any means, I decided to go another route first.

"Chief Swan?" I popped my head around the door to the office. "Sorry to interrupt you, sir. The officer out front told me to just come in."

He closed the file he was working on and stood, extending his hand across the desk. "Sure, son. Come on in. What's the problem?"

I didn't hesitate to shake his hand. I couldn't be held back by my phobias now. "Well, sir, I'm worried about Bella."

His professional courtesy face changed into a fatherly one. He sighed and sat back down. "Take a seat." He ran his hand across his brow, frowning as he looked up at me.

I took his cue to speak when he didn't begin himself. "She's not answering calls. I know she's upset, but she's never been silent this long. She's not responding to Rosalie, either."

Charlie nodded. "She's very upset right now."

"So, you have heard from her?" I sighed in relief when he nodded. "That's good. That's such a relief. I've been so worried. I was thinking of heading down to Phoenix to check on her."

The Chief grinned at me. "Yep. I suppose you would think about that. Too bad your brother didn't."

I felt my cheeks flushing. "Sir, I know he was wrong. I'm not about to sit here and defend anything about what he did. All I can say is – I'm not my brother."

"I know that." His gaze softened, and I fully believed him. "Look, Edward… you've been real good to my daughter. Your whole family has meant a lot to her these past years. I never expected Jasper to pull a stunt like this, but I certainly don't hold it against you. You've done nothing but be a good friend to her."

"Do you think I should go to her?" I was hoping for a 'Hell, yes! I'll give you a police escort!' Instead, I got a heavy sigh. "No?" I asked quietly.

Leaning forward, his fatherly look of concern for Bella turned to pity for me. "I'm sorry, son, but I can't let you do that."

I gulped down an urge to sob.

"I know you think it would help, and any other time, I'm sure it would. But she's very vulnerable right now. She needs time."

I nodded dumbly. What did that mean?

"I'm real sorry, Edward. You're a good kid. You know how fond I am of your family. This is nothing against you, y'understand? I have to look out for my daughter, and right now, she doesn't want any contact with any of you."

My cheeks burned red as I struggled not to cry. "Any of us?" My voice sounded foreign to me.

"I'm sorry. Real, real sorry, son."

I nodded, unable to do anything beyond that.

"I know it's a bit of a shock –"

I released a snort in agreement.

"I have to see the desk sergeant… you stay here as long as you need to. Take your time." He gave my shoulder a light squeeze as he passed my chair. "It's not forever. This has been one helluva year for her. She needs time to heal."

After that, she wasn't the only one. But first, I had some steam to let off. I took it out on my treadmill – a birthday gift that everyone had gone in on. Nirvana blasted through my headphones as I worked up a sweat. My body seemed to think it was running to Bella, and there was no stopping it. In fact, when Jasper came in and attempted a conversation, my legs just worked harder to get closer to my imaginary Bella and away from him. My mind just seethed the entire time.

"Really not in the mood for this, Jasper." The words came out angrily in between pants.

"Ed, you should slow down, man. You can't handle a run across the continent." Jasper made an impressed face when he peeked over at the meters on the machine.

"Don't tell me what I can and cannot handle."

"Hey, it's not a slam. I couldn't handle it either." He laughed.

"You can't even handle a flight," I mumbled, not missing a step of my steady pace.

"I can't handle what? Sorry, what was that?"

My brother was no longer smiling. No longer attempting light conversation to smooth things over between us. He was challenging me to stand up.

"I said, you can't handle a flight to Phoenix to end things like a man. But that's just one of the many things you've proven yourself incapable of handling."

Jasper stopped my machine abruptly. My legs were pulled back and my upper body propelled forward. I gripped the control panel to stop myself from falling and glared at him angrily. Sweat was dripping from my face as we stared each other down. The impact of what he'd done finally hit me. His mishandling of this whole thing had cost me Bella. The whole family had lost her. The least I could do was speak out for her.

"You got more to say to me?"

"You bet your ass, I do! An email? You broke up with your girlfriend of two years in a fucking email, Jasper? What the hell was that?"

"It's really none –"

"None of my business? None of my business? Is that what you were gonna say? You made it all of our business by ending it like a dickhead! How could you hurt her that way? Jasper, what's gotten into you? You're better than this!"

"You're gonna stand there and tell me how I should handle my relationships? What the hell do you know? What do you know about any of that?" His voice rose, and his words bounced off the rafters in the garage. I supposed mine had too, but I hadn't noticed. Our sister did.

"Hey, hey, hey! What's all the shouting about?" She positioned herself in between us, one hand on each of our chests.

Jasper sucked in a breath, popping his shoulders back and chest out. "Edward thinks he knows about relationships well enough to teach me about 'em. Right?"

"I know it's not fucking cool to end a two-year relationship in an email!" I shouted. Rose repositioned herself so both hands were on me. "Are you twelve?"

"That was horrible, Jazz," Rose added gently. "I have to agree."

He scowled at us both. "What was I supposed to do? She's halfway across the country! Her own choice, mind you."

"You are twelve!" I scoffed. "You still can't get that someone else was important to Bella – perhaps more important than you."

"Don't bring that shit into this Edward. You don't want to go there."

"Okay, okay!" Our sister gripped a handful of each of our hair. "Enough! Someone's gonna say something they'll regret –"

"Someone has to speak for Bella. She wasn't given a chance to react to being treated like shit."

"Edward!" Rosalie moved her hand to grip my jaw, forcing me to look her square in the eye. "This is what I'm talking about. Stop before you go any further with this."

Jasper kept going. "You're just dying to ride in and save her again, aren't you? Show up at the right time… say the right thing… I'm wondering when you'll be become besties with Alice, too. You know what? I don't need to take this shit from you. You have no idea what's been going on. You have no idea about real relationships, period. Yeah, I fucked it up. I should have had a better method to tell her – but at least I did. I haven't been fucking lying to her all this time!"

"Jasper! Stop!"

"I have never lied to Bella! The only time I even came close was covering for your ass when you opted to stay home and fuck around with Alice instead of –"

His fist connected with my jaw before I saw it coming. My glasses flew off my face, and our sister was on him just as fast. "What is wrong with you? You hit Edward! Really, Jazz? Our own brother? I don't even know you!"

Jasper's chest heaved with his heavy breaths. He came near enough so I could make out enough of his features to know he meant business. "I'm sorry, Ed. I'm so fucking sorry."

"Forget it," I mumbled, moving towards my glasses. The frames were a little scratched up, but at least they weren't broken and the lenses were fine. "Just… forget it."

Once again, when I came from the shower, I had a visitor. This time, my sister awaited me with knowing eyes.

"How long have you been in love with Bella?"

A/N ~ I feel like Rose right now - I'm so with you all on wanting to punch Jasper, he deserves it. Still, I feel protective of him. What I really want to do is shake muses Esme and Carlisle because they haven't peeped up even once to straighten Jasper out. *sigh* Muse Bella cut me off along with the Cullens so we don't hear from her until the present time resumes. One more chapter, if anyone's counting. ;)

Welcome, new readers! I'd like to send a personal Edward to sherryola, but I hope my undying thanks will suffice. I've been so grateful for her regular, supportive reviews, and now I'm floored by the rec posted in her own update. If I'm not the last person to begin reading Seeing Bella, please go check it out and give sherryola some love. fanfiction(dot)net/s/6579398/1/Seeing_Bella

Of course, thanks also go to the ever-patient Shug, my beta-reader who's still waiting for the next batch of chapters. And msj2779, so much more than the perfect pre-reader. You rock my world, girlfriend!

If I can get my shit together, I may just post the last of the backstory chapters later in the week. Fingers crossed. Thanks for reading! XX ~ SR