Laying Him to Rest
Today was the hardest day of her life and she didn't know how she would make it through it. Her family had known that he was gone for months, but she wasn't ready to accept it. Now she couldn't deny it any longer, not when they had found his body. She would have to find a way to say goodbye to him...the other half of her heart.
She sat on the front row listening to story after story from all the people that Jason had ever helped and all she wanted to do was get as far away as she could, crawl into a dark hole and die, but that wasn't an option when she was a single mother. She had to find a way to say goodbye to Jason.
Flashes of Jason's Smile and the way that he made her feel when he touched her bombarded Sam as she got up to tell the room how much Jason meant to her.
XOXOXO
He stood in the foyer listening to the services. He knew that he wasn't wanted there after all of the pain that he had caused his brother, but he couldn't stay away either.
Flashes of getting in the car and smashing the car in the tree bombarded his mind. It was too late now, he would never get the chance to say how sorry he was...for everything. He would never earn his brother's forgiveness.
He watched his brother's widow walk slowly to the podium. She looked so fragile and broken and he wanted to take care of her somehow...it was the least that he owed his brother.
"There aren't words to describe how much Jason meant to me," he heard her say as her voice shook with the painful grief that they were both feeling.
"Jason was the first person to accept and love me despite all my flaws. I...I...I can't do this," she said as she ran towards the exit.
A.J. stepped right in front of her and blocked her exit.
"A.J. what are you doing here? I need to leave."
"You can't do that Sam. You will never forgive yourself unless you say goodbye to him. I know how you feel...I want to run away too. I want to be at a bar and drown my sorrows so that I don't have to feel this pain anymore, but I can't because I have to find a way to say goodbye to the brother that hated me."
"He didn't hate you A.J. He loved you and when he thought that he had killed you, it tore him up inside. I'm glad that you came to say your goodbye and he would be too."
"Let's say goodbye together," A.J. said as he offered her his hand.
"I don't know if I can."
"I know you can, and I'll be here to guide you, just in case you feel frozen and need my support."
She grabbed his hand and they grabbed a rose out of the vase. He helped her walk towards his casket.
"I'm sorry," A.J. whispered as he placed the rose on his casket.
"You can do this Sam," he whispered in her ear when she hesitated to step forward.
Surprisingly being here with A.J. just felt right. In a strange way he was the reason that Jason Morgan even existed. If it wasn't for A.J. then he still would have been Jason Quartermaine and he wouldn't have all the qualities that she loved so much about him.
"I love you...I will always love you," Sam whispered as she placed the rose on Jason's casket. That was all she could say and A.J.'s gentle squeeze let her know that it was enough.
They proceeded to the cemetery and watched as Jason's body was lowered into the ground. A.J. stood by her side long after everyone else had left.
"You don't have to be here, you know?"
"I want to be here with you. I need to be here with you, otherwise, I'm afraid that the pain of losing Jason will lead me to drinking myself into an oblivion. Being here with you, it just makes it easier, maybe because I don't feel so alone."
"I know how you feel," Sam whispered as she leaned her head and rested it against A.J.'s shoulders.
The End