I stare at my reflection, I have my hair back in a lose ponytail, black skinny jeans, brown ankle boots, a blue t-shirt and a jacket over the top. I close my eyes, I think back to many months ago when I was getting ready to have tea with Dan and Phil. I am more nervous now than I was back then, unknowing of what was to happen. I miss those times when you had no heartache, no bad memories and no reason to worry. I sigh and grab my bag. "Looking good." Sophie jokes, sensing my stress. "There's no need to worry Amy, if you really can't do this then you can always call it off." "No, I shouldn't put it off; it will just make me more nervous." I hug her and then leave, walking quickly through the streets, not wanting to give myself a second to turn back. I keep my head down, hurrying along. My stomach twists and turns, I start to feel sick. I take a deep breath out and keep on walking.
Ten minutes later and I can see the coffee shop. I slow my walk and check the time. Two minutes to two. I pause outside of the glass door, I can't see him so I push the door open and I am hit with the smell of coffee and the noise of the machines and people talking. I have a pretty good idea where he'll be, he always sits in the back corner, where it's most quiet. I turn the corner and there he is. He is sitting at a table, his head bowed. His hair is straightened but somehow it doesn't look right. His cheek bones stand out more, his eyes are red and he looks bad. "Dan?" I say quietly, his head shoots up at the sound of my voice. His eyes twinkle slightly when he looks at me and he stands up. I walk closer and we stand awkwardly, unsure how to greet each other. "Amy. It's really great to see you." He says, his voice is deep and a bit croaky. We sit down, "I already brought you a coffee." He says, I pick it up and take a sip, he remembered my order. "How have you been?" He asks. "OK, not amazing." I say, trying to make the mood lighter. "You?" I ask nervously. "To be honest, I've had the worst month of my life." I bow my head, guiltily. "Will you let me explain Amy, please?" I look up, his eyes are pleading with mine, I nod. "I was very drunk, it was loud and crowded. I couldn't think straight. She came on to me first Amy, I swear to you. She flirted with everyone there, ask Phil. Then she came up to me, I was too drunk to think. I told her that I had a girlfriend but before I knew it she was kissing me. And to honest I kissed her back." I shudder, the image replaying in my mind. "But it was only for a second, I pushed her off and left straight after that. Please, trust me Amy. She meant absolutely nothing to me, I love you." He leans forward, his eyes staring deep in to mine. I don't know what to say to him, I still feel upset by it but I know that I can't hold a grudge on him forever. "And about what you said, about me not having time for you and you not feeling at home. I completely understand, I have no excuses Amy, I fucked up. I took you for granted and I will never forgive myself for that. I'm also so upset that you got fired for my fans behaviour, it made me so angry that someone could do that to someone they don't know. I don't blame you for walking out Amy; I would have done the same." He pauses and breathes out. "I'm sorry that I left things in such a mess, I didn't know how to cope and I just ran away." I say, I look at the man in front of me, how he is the same carefree, confident man I fell in love with, I'll never know. "Amy, this is a lot to ask, but I'm begging you, please find it in your sweet, sweet heart to forgive me." He holds my hands in his; I look away from the begging man, trying to work out what my heart is saying. I stare down at my coffee, i grasp the cup, my hands feeding off the warmth. "Dan, I forgive you. But, I'm so sorry, I can't just put this all behind me and get back together with you, however much I may want to. Things have changed Dan; I'm not the same person I used to be." He nods, and a single tear rolls down his cheek as he lets go of my hands. We sit in silence, I wonder what to say, realising that the end is approaching, time is running out. "So, this it?" He finally asks. "I guess so." I reply and as I do so I feel my heart shatter in to millions of tiny sharp pieces. He sinks back in his chair. "Maybe I should go." I think aloud, I have no idea how to say goodbye to the boy I love so much, but i guess i'll have to give it a go. I start crying. "Dan, you made me so happy, gave me so many wonderful memories to take away, I really love you. Keep making videos, you touch so many people with your words, you'll never know." I break down as I say the last few words, "You're an amazing person Dan, and you'll always have a place in my heart." I put my hand over my mouth, shaking as I stand up. He stands up too, his mouth open but no words come out. I take one last long look at him; I close my eyes and walk away.