Been having a bad week . . . so sorry if the chapter sucks. Not feeling so up to it. This chapter was originally to be all sappy and happy, but it went according to my mood. I didn't really feel like writing happy, when I wasn't happy myself. Anyways, won't bore you with my life depressions . . . I hope you like this chapter. I was realizing that the story didn't really have any action in it so I decided to add a little drama. The next chapter will contain much more drama than this one. Well, hope you like :)

I don't own Vampire Academy . . .

The weeks had passed since we had arrived in Hell; today was exactly a month since our parents sent us here like unwanted dogs. Kyle and Malese were going along really well. Cade and Dante had finally gotten themselves positions to train with the best guardians on campus. Zara had recently won a contest of the prettiest smile.

And Kayla continued to crush one very guy that was cute; she had a huge crush on Tony, but she claimed that he was mine and she was never going to meet up to my beauty. I responded that she was just as beautiful as I was. She waved it away and told me that I could keep Tony and that good, hot action he might bring me. I had laughed, rolled my eyes and told her that Tony was like a billion years older than I was and a hook up between me and him would not be pleasant and never would happen because I didn't like him like in that way and that my parents would never agree of that relationship—well not because he was dhampir but because of the age difference.

Tony . . .

Even though I swore to Kayla that I did not feel anything for Tony, I had some feelings for him. A small, small crush. A teeny, weenie crush on him. But that was it! Since every night I loved talking to Zara and the only place that really got reception was the A & R circle of love, (a name I had come up with) I spent most of my nights in the circle of love and Tony would meet me later. It became a habit for me, to have him close every night. We shared some of our most intimate thoughts and some of our darkest secrets, though secrets no longer because they had been shared to another person.

And just now, I was spending yet another night with Tony in the circle of love.

"The circle of love?" He questioned, chuckling softly, as we lounged on one of the rocks as the water ran around the bottom of it.

"Yes, a nickname I came up with today, actually."

"The circle of love?" He repeated again. "Why would you choose in a name like that?"

"Because my parents, according to my mom, fell more in love with each other in this very spot."

"Those are the key words: 'Fell more in love with each other.' They were already in love before they came in here."

"Which is why I call it 'circle of love' because it involves love."

"You are just too cute . . ."

I was thankful that it was somewhat dark in the circle of love because then he would have noticed my blush and it would have been not cool. Maya Ivashkov never really blushed when a guy said something sweet to her. Or rather, Maya Ivashkov never blushed when an antique man said something to sweet to her, was the right way to say it. He's not that old . . . my mind reasoned with me. Mom and Dad are about five years apart. Two years extra won't make a difference. Besides, Age is just a number. When it comes to real love, those numbers that make up your age, don't matter.

But this wasn't real love, nor would it ever be.

"You're blushing." He said, reaching over and almost touching my cheek. He looked like he really, badly, wanted to caress my cheek. He was a guardian after all, and emotions in check were what they had to keep. "Why would be the cause of that blush? I don't presume it would be my comment of you being cute because I am sure other guys say those things to you all the time."

You aren't like other guys, I wanted to say, you're very unlike other guys, actually. If you were someone I could spend my whole life with, I would do it.

Maya Ivashkov-Hathaway! What are you saying!?

"Yes, guys say those things to me all the time, but never in the way you say them. Other guys say 'You're damn sexy, baby girl' or something like that. Those guys never sweeten up their words a little like you do."

He smiled quite gorgeously. "First I was a badass guardian, now I am a sweetheart?"

"Hmm . . . how about this? You're a sweet-ass guardian?"

"I like that." He held my gaze a little longer than normal. I had an urge to look away, but I didn't. "Has anyone ever told you, you have some sexy green eyes?"

"I was voted 'Sexy Eyes' in middle school. This is the only trait I have from my dad. He has emerald green eyes, mine are just like his, just a tad bit darker."

"Well, they are quite sexy. I would love to gaze all night into them." He changed the subject quickly, shaking himself. He was probably seconds away from slapping himself. "How—how did your parents do it?"

I smiled cheekily. "I don't like talking about my parents sex life . . ."

He only smiled at my comment and continued to ask the question. "How did your parents go through it all?"

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"Well, your dad was a royal that probably should have been married off to another royal and your mother was a guardian that should have been assigned to someone important. How did they do it? How did they ignore all the rumors, the stares . . . it must have been a hard relationship?"

I shook my head. My mother had once told me about this. "Not at all. My dad comes from a family that literally doesn't care what the hell happens, well his mom, Gammy Daniella does, but his father, Mr. Ivashkov, never really cared what the hell happened. As long as the money kept on coming, Mr. Ivashkov was happy. And my mother was always on her own, she didn't care about anything, really. If she had something to say, she said it. And when people started talking about my Dad and my mom, they pretty much told the world that they didn't care about what the hell they thought or said."

"Wow . . . I still can't understand how they went on with it."

"They loved each other. That's the power and magic of love." I stated simply. I stared off into the distance as I asked him a question of my own. "What about your parents? I spend hours talking about mine and never from yours. Tell me about your parents? To start with, who are they?"

"Mia Rinaldi, never the motherly type and . . . I really didn't know my father. He and I never had the best relationship. The daughter of a badass guardian killed my father."

"I'm sorry?" I really didn't know what else to say.

"Want to know who killed him?" He didn't sound sad in the least.

"Sure . . ."

"Guardian Hathaway . . ." He gave me an expectant look.

"Daughter of a badass guardian . . ." I repeated to myself. Then it clicked. "My mom killed your dad? What the hell? How?"

"She staked him . . . I'm glad she did. He wanted to kill her. I felt relieved when I heard he had died."

"Why? No matter how horrible of a person he was . . . why were you happy?"

"He raped my mom. Took her by force."

"What a monster? What was his name?"

"Dimitri Belikov . . ."

Dimitri Belikov. I had heard that name before. I just didn't remember where. Oh. All over Hell, there were pictures of him and his name of how he made a difference to the world and crap like that. I wondered when my mother had killed him, Dimitri Belikov.

"Let's not get all depressing with this talk." He said, trying to change the subject quickly. I could see the kindling-anger, fading in his eyes.

I was too shocked. "I never knew . . . I'm sorry."

"It's alright," he said with a shrug of his shoulders. "He isn't something worth missing. Yeah, he gave me life, but that's it."

He changed this subject again and this time I followed his talk. "I honestly don't know," I answered truthfully when he asked me what I wanted to do as a career for later in my life. "I'm still not decided."

"Don't rush it, you don't want to spend the rest of your life doing something every day that you don't really like."

"I know what you mean. I want to be like my dad. Sit in an office all day, being lazy, and making millions." Yeah, that sure was the best job out there. But my parents wouldn't be thrilled if I told them that that's what I wanted to do later in life. My parents wanted me to take my something out of myself. Like Zara was probably going to be Miss America or something closely related to that. Kyle and Cade were probably going to be professional soccer players. And Dante was going to be a guardian. Me? I honestly did not know what I wanted to do in life.

"I don't know," I repeated yet again, "I'll probably end up being a stay-at-home mom with, like, ten kids to take care of."

"I could see you with ten kids," he said as he laughed. Then, all of a sudden, he turned serious. "That's why you have to love someone who can give you a life, who can create a life with you." He seemed to express something in his eyes.

His point couldn't have been more clearer. Don't fall in love with me because I can't give you a life, much less give life to someone.

"It does not matter if we can't make a life together! I love you." My jaw dropped—my mouth had spoken words that weren't meant to be said.

Nice, Ivashkov, real nice. I thought you had told Kayla that you didn't like Tony in that way . . .

I turned my face away from him, not wanting him to see the shame on my face.

"I'm sorry . . ." He whispered. "I shouldn't have let this gone so far. You should have never fallen in love with me. It was a mistake."

I stayed quiet and still did not look at him.

"Whether or not it was a mistake, you can't—we can't reverse our emotions, no matter how hard you try there will always be a little voice in your head saying 'that's the person you used to love.'"

Silence from me yet again.

Tears formed in my eyes.

"Maya, talk to me." He pleaded.

"I've never felt like this before." I told him honestly, not looking at him or towards him, as the tears threatened to spill out of my eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen. And here I was, half-crying over the guy that I strictly said that I would never fall in love with. I went from thinking it was a small crush, to it being this whole ridiculous feeling of love, something I really never vowed to feel after I broke up with Matt.

This was not supposed to happen.

But it was . . .

None of us knew what to say next so I was thankful when my phone started ringing. I read Cade across the screen. It must have been urgent for Cade to call me because he never called me unless it was really urgent.

"Cade?" I asked, when I heard him sniffling in the background. Cade never cried. The only time he ever really cried was when he ran over his own dog with a golf cart.

"Maya . . . I don't know how to tell you this."

It was like he didn't want to tell me or he was scared to tell me or something.

I stood up, demanding to know what was happening.

Cade was crying.

It was bad.

"Tell me, Cade!"

"It's Kyle . . ."

I felt all the blood drain out of me, my breath hitching. Kyle . . . something was wrong with him. "What's wrong with Kyle?!" I was scared.

Tony put a calming hand on my shoulder. I was too freaked out to be calmed.

"Kyle . . . he's dying."

Tell me . . . what do you think happened to Kyle? Liked it? Hated it?

-Mel