True Love Way

Chapter 19

The second night with Bella home was awkward. Not only because of our argument, tub rescue, and following neck kissing, etc. – Charlie was back for the night. Bella had used the spare room for privacy when she expressed milk for Nathan, but with both Charlie and I there, it was a bit too crowded. I inadvertently interrupted her morning session after my shower. She was still sleeping when I got up, so I expected the same when I went in my room to get dressed for work. It was the longest five seconds of my life – filled with gasps and profuse apologies, with intense blushing thrown into the mix. That, combined with the bedroom door slamming shut, woke Charlie. We shared a somewhat tense breakfast while Bella finished up. I was late for work.

Once it was the two of us, things calmed down and fell into a very natural feeling routine. Bella would wake before me and head to the spare room where her breast pump was set up. I'd shower and shave, and have the bedroom free to dress in. We'd have breakfast together, and Mom would arrive as I was leaving. After Bella's hard lesson that first night, she did wait for my mom to help her with showering. It was a relief and a disappointment. Truthfully, I had enjoyed taking care of her that way. Part of me wondered if she made certain to do that while I was out so that I wouldn't be tempted to slobber on her again.

By the second week, Bella was doing much better physically. It wasn't necessary to have someone with her at all times, though I definitely appreciated that Mom, Rosalie, and even Emmett took turns spending time with her at my apartment while I was working. Dinner was made for us, just waiting for me to get in, and we'd have a quiet meal together while avoiding any talk of Phoenix, or kissing, or feeling indebted.

One night, with nothing worth watching on TV, we each picked up a book after dinner.

"Do you still write? I haven't seen you working on anything. Is that because I'm here?"

I looked up from my book, confused by the sudden question. "Write?"

"Yeah. You know… how you used to write fan fiction?"

Chuckling, I shook my head. I couldn't believe I'd told her about my hobby back then. No one knew. "No… those days are gone. How do you remember that?"

"I read your stories. I still followed them after I moved away. But then they disappeared. Did you stop writing altogether or use a different name?"

I laid my book across my stomach as I stretched in my chair. "Stopped," I replied.

"You never finished your Dawson's Creek one."

I smirked, shaking my head.

"Why? It was good."

I shrugged. "Just wasn't feeling it. And honestly, it felt weird to be a 20-year-old man writing that crap."

She smiled at me. "Readers didn't know you were a 20-year-old man. I want to know what happened. Did Joey end up with Dawson?"

Scratching at my chin, I gave it some thought. "Another reason why I didn't finish it."

"She didn't? What happened?"

"She was with his other best friend," I replied quietly. "If you remember, I was watching the show on DVD with Rose. I had no idea it would go that way when I started it. I kept hoping they'd come around, but it never happened."

"But it's your story. You could write it any way you wanted it to go," she countered.

"It wouldn't change reality… as it were." I smirked at my own comment. "Even fictional characters get it wrong – it should have been them, always. Dawson and Joey knew each other inside and out. They loved each other, but they also liked each other. That's so important. It was right there all along, and they did nothing with it. Instead, the fictional characters took the reality route and the girl went for the other guy – a lust thing. I just don't get it. I don't understand why people get into relationships filled with angst and arguments when they can have something entirely different with the one who really cares about them, you know?"

"Are you still talking about fictional characters or reality?"

"Both," I replied. "That's just how it goes. I don't know which emulates the other, but they're both the same."

"But, Edward… you could have changed it. Do you not understand?"

Was she talking fiction or reality? "It was too disheartening. All of it." Fiction and reality.

Her gaze fell from mine, and she was silent for several moments. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. Joey's with Tom Cruise now, and in retrospect, even Pacey was a better choice. Hell, she would have been better off with Jen."

That struck me as funnier than it should have been. I had tears rolling down my cheeks, and my stomach hurt by the time I got my laughter under control.

In bed later on, it was still playing on my mind. "Bella, why were you following my stories? You can't tell me they were so amazing you just couldn't stop reading. I live in a reality-based world. And I'm a 9-1-1 dispatcher, not a writer."

She scrunched up her nose at me, the cute way she did, when in earlier years, she would have poked out her tongue. Her eyes then cast downward and she turned serious. "I missed you." She looked up at me once again. "I really did, you know. I missed you. So much it hurt."

I could relate to that, but not understand why she let herself suffer. I hadn't gone anywhere. "You could have contacted me at any time," I reminded her gently. "I wish you had. I hate knowing you were sad."

"There's so much I wish was different."

It seemed to me the right time to really get into this topic. We'd previously swept it under the rug, as far as I was concerned. "What would you have done differently, Bella – if we could reverse time?"

"Better to ask what I wouldn't do differently," she replied with a grin. "I wouldn't change being your partner in Bio."

I offered a small grin of my own in return. If I were honest, I was disappointed that she'd made a joke out of it. I thought that maybe she'd open up about her regrets.

"It's difficult to pinpoint one specific thing that would fix everything," she continued. "The main thing I'd want to change is what happened between us."

Interesting. I didn't have a clue what she meant by that, but I did like that her tone was more serious.

"If there was a way that we could have stayed like we were." She twisted a piece of her hair between her fingers as she spoke. "No, not even. I don't know. I just know that I'd want to not cut you out of my life if I could reverse time. Honestly. That's the one thing I would absolutely want to do over."

She was leaving me speechless with her confession. Well, almost speechless. "Why then? Why didn't you reply – even just once?"

Her glistening dark eyes turned upwards to gaze at me. "It was for you. I thought it was the right thing to do at the time."

"Why? Because of what happened with Jasper? Did you think you had to break up with all of us since he broke up with you?" My brain was just firing questions around, and my mouth poured them out. Then my mouth seemed to act on its own. "Bella, I thought it was for you. That I… well, not just me – every Cullen – would be sore reminders of Jasper."

She shook her head. "I wasn't doing it to be cruel or vengeful. Please believe that."

"Did you think we were all done with you once Jazz was? Is that it? It was his decision, alone. He didn't consult us on anything, and he didn't mean for it to affect everyone. You know that, right?"

She dropped the twisted lock of hair and chewed on her thumbnail. She was no longer looking at me.

"Bella? Rose and I didn't agree with what he did. Not at all. I can understand that relationships don't always work, but the way he went about ending it was disgusting. We both let him have it. If we weren't so far away, you would have seen we didn't approve. Both of us would have been there for you."

Her eyes closed, and her face pinched up as though she was in pain. And I felt like an ass.

"I'm sorry. I thought you really were over him," I said softly. Inside, I wanted to scream. Even after all these fucking years, and all I'd just seen her through, breaking up with my brother still upset her. I felt dangerously close to being unable to contain my emotions. Rather than putting her through seeing me upset, I made a bathroom dash, blaming the beer I'd had after dinner. I ran the water ice cold and doused my face. It didn't help much. Hot tears still felt like they wanted to flow so I ducked my whole head in the sink and splashed water all over it, down my neck, the backs of my ears, and finally my face again.

Get your shit together! You knew… you always knew she wasn't into you that way. Accept it. Deal with it. Move on.

I looked into the mirror, fully expecting to see the sad, awkward kid with a huge zit on his nose just below where his glasses sat. The kid who'd lost his only friend. Instead, I saw a man who seemed so far removed from that kid it almost shocked me. My hair no longer flopped into my eyes, and even though they were red at the moment, my eyes were bright. There was none of the despondency I used to see in my reflection. The dullness. The outward image of the emptiness I felt inside. None of that existed in this reflection. I watched the corner of my mouth turn up. I wasn't that kid. I had reinvented myself, in a way.

Examining myself further, I saw vibrant green eyes with the same specks of gold my malachite stone held. I turned my head to look at the strong, pronounced jaw dusted with stubble. My nose was a little crooked from the time I'd run into the door at school, but it wasn't bad. It gave me character. I didn't turn out half bad. I was… pretty decent looking. Of course, my glasses were in the bedroom and my contacts in their case. I snickered as I realized I was totally checking myself out.

"So pathetic, Cullen," I whispered, laughing at myself. I took the piss that was bound to get me up within a half hour anyway, washed up and turned out the light to return to bed.

Bella was sitting up, waiting for me. She wore the look of deep concern she always used to when dealing with anxiety-ridden me. I didn't want that. That wasn't me anymore. The man I'd become could handle this. As long as Bella was in my life in some way, I could deal. I would deal. And perhaps she'd even begin to see what she could have had – a decent guy who would cherish her and offer more love than she'd ever known.

I approached the bed with a smile and sat on the edge next to her. "I didn't mean to make you upset, bringing up old stuff."

She reached out for me, frowning. Her hands cupped my face. "Edward, you need to understand something. This isn't about me being upset over an old boyfriend. This is me feeling stupid for thinking I could protect you."

"Protect me?" My brow furrowed in confusion. "From what?"

Her hands slid down my face until they rested on my neck. Her thumbs stroked my jaw as she gripped me. "I didn't want trouble between you and Jasper. That's why I feel stupid, because it happened anyway. You stuck up for me."

"Of course I did," I replied softly. "He was wrong." Her fingertips tickled at the edge of my hair. The hair on my neck stood on end at the contact.

"We both were wrong," she asserted. "I wasn't blameless for it all falling apart. But I never, ever wanted it to affect you. You weren't at fault for any of it, and the last thing I wanted was to come between you and your brother. I know he means the world to you." Her tongue flicked out over her bottom lip as her fingers moved right up into my hair and her thumbs now tickled my earlobes. "I know you probably won't believe it, but you mean the same to him. I thought –" She hesitated, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "I thought it would be harder for you if we'd stayed friends – in case Jasper gave you a hard time. And you'd argue. I didn't want you to lose your brother."

"Bella…" I held onto her wrists, my own thumbs stroking her forearm as she soothed me with her fingers. "I stuck up for you because it was the right thing to do. He needed to know he'd hurt you… and in turn, hurt all of us. We'd never fought like that before, and haven't since."

Her cheeks flushed slightly. "It's really vain of me to think I'd make such an impact on your relationship." She tittered, lowering her eyes. "I feel extremely stupid now."

"You are far from stupid, and the least vain person I know," I assured her. She had no idea how intense the fallout of their break-up had been for my brother and I, and she really didn't need to. I didn't want her taking on the guilt of that.

~ 0 ~

Alice, Jasper and Emily made the trip up to Port Angeles to meet the newest family member the next weekend. We went for a visit after I finished work. Bella had seen Nathan several times, as Emmett and Rose sometimes brought him along when they went to pick up his milk, but I hadn't seen him since Bella's first day home. Rose served dinner immediately, taking advantage of him sleeping so she could eat.

"Be honest, Rose. You just know I need to eat the minute I get here. You've trained the baby to sleep just for me."

My sister smiled at my joke, passing me plates to set on the table as she dished out the food. "Yes, I know how grumpy the men in my life get when they're hungry. I can really identify now. It's amazing how babies seem to have an internal timer. He knows to wake up as soon as I pick up a fork. You'll see."

Emmett followed behind, waiting for the next plates while I took the first ones out to the dining room. I was shocked to see Emily sitting at the table. Well, sort of sitting at the table. She was in a high chair at the table.

"She eats?"

Jasper and Bella laughed while Alice rolled her eyes at me. "Yes, and she specifically requested that Uncle Edward sit beside her." She flashed a grin as she began mashing up food from one plate to add to a dish in front of Emily.

"She doesn't talk," I scoffed. "Does she?"

More laughter ensued as Rosalie and Emmett brought out the last of the plates and we all took places at the table.

"I think it's adorable how completely baby ignorant you are, Edward," my sister said as I sat stiffly next to my niece. "But Emily is growing up. You should get to know her before she's off to college. Em, could you grab the extra water pitcher from the kitchen? I forgot to bring it out."

"I'll get it!" I jumped up, anxious for the chance to escape the horror of the little person next to me stuffing mashed vegetables into her mouth with her hands. I brought a wet cloth back with the water pitcher.

After the initial shock of a baby's poor table manners, I began to find Emily quite fascinating. One moment she would be completely oblivious to anyone around her, concentrating very hard on picking up a whole pea. The next minute she would be staring intently at the adults surrounding her, and trying to emulate them. She would laugh when we all did, as though she got the joke. Every now and then she'd burst out with some loud baby babble and then laugh at her own joke.

"I think she likes you." Bella leaned in to whisper to me as I stared in terror at Emily's hand on my forearm. Potatoes and slobber coated the tiny hand on me. I looked up at the owner of the messy hand to find her smiling like an angel at me.

"Hi," I said to her.

She babbled something, laughed, and slapped her free hand on her tray. It sent a splatter of spilled water and mush flying everywhere. I used my free hand to wipe something from my forehead. I didn't look. I really didn't want to know what had hit me. I was just thankful I wasn't wearing my glasses. That shit would have left disgusting smears on the lenses.

Alice took a napkin and wiped down the tray, shooting me an apologetic grin.

"Try the zucchini," I suggested to Emily. "Aunt Rosalie makes a really good baked zucchini. She puts cheese on it."

Emily just stared at me, smiling away.

"There." I pointed to the section in her dish that contained that particular mush. "That one's the zucchini."

She looked where I pointed and turned back to me. We eyed each other for a few beats. "Look…" I picked up my fork and stabbed at my own food. "Yum." Emily watched me chew and swallow before looking down at my plate. I pointed out her own zucchini once more.

"I think she wants yours." Bella nudged me.

There was absolutely no way I was allowing this messy kid to put her hands into my food, so I slid a zucchini slice onto my fork and tipped it into her dish. "There you go. Eat up."

While she was occupied with the new food, I took the opportunity to use the wet cloth on my arm. Her gooey hand had left remnants that were crusting up in my arm hair at an extraordinary rate. Knowing I was being watched, I did my best to hide my disgust. I was glad to see Jasper take Emily into the bathroom to give her a really good clean-up soon after. She was kind of cute but much easier to deal with without mush all over.

I helped with the clean-up of dinner, sending Bella on her way to sit down when she started helping. I didn't want her over-doing it. Emmett, Rose, and I had a good method going, and it took us no time at all to finish up. Afterwards, I took a seat beside Bella while Alice gave Emily a bottle.

Alice looked over at me. "Want to do this?"

"Nope," I replied without a thought.

Alice snickered at me. "What makes you so nervous about this? She knows her way around her bottle. You just have to hold her."

I scrunched up my face, shaking my head. "I don't know how you can get past the image of what she looked like five minutes ago – with sticky, gooey crap all over her – and be all cuddly with her now."

"Jasper changed her clothes," Bella advised me with an amused smirk. "She's all clean now."

"God, you'd think he was born an adult, wouldn't you?" Alice addressed Bella as she moved to join us on the couch. The top of Emily's head rubbed against my arm. "I've seen pictures, Edward. You were just as messy yourself. All babies are. She's going to want to know you… you are her uncle. "

"Okay, okay." I held my hands up in surrender. "I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your kid—it's just not for me. Send her over when she's like, twenty-five, maybe. If she can hold a fork decently, I'll make her dinner and we'll talk or something."

"Take her on a slide," Bella suggested with a little laugh.

Recalling our park play in Phoenix, I grinned myself. "I don't think that would be appropriate at twenty-five."

"Maybe five would be better," she agreed. Our eyes were locked on each other, and we smiled as people do when they share a private joke.

"Jazz, Edward's going to babysit when she's five," Alice called out.

My head snapped around, mouth gaping, only to find the two of them laughing. There's no way in hell they'd leave their kid with me. Emily leaned back, letting the bottle fall from her mouth as she smiled at me.

I stared down at her. "Hi." Why did Rosalie and Emmett have such a small couch? It really hadn't seemed this small before now. Emily's arm came up as she tried to grab onto me.

"You're distracting her," Alice chided as she took Emily's arm back and tried to lure her with her bottle.

"I'm not doing anything," I retorted. "Maybe she'd like to drink in silence. God knows, there's rarely a time when you're completely silent. And she probably likes space, too. I don't like eating with someone pressed up against me. She'd probably be more comfortable over there." I pointed to the chair by the bay window that Rosalie liked to read in.

Emily's lipped smacked as she released the bottle again, turning her beaming smile back on. I gave her a little wave, and she squealed. Loudly.

"Got her mother's lungs," I quipped.

Alice quirked an eyebrow at me. "Maybe Daddy should give you this. Uncle Edward is disturbing you."

I smiled widely as they made the exchange. Jasper took her back to the chair he was occupying. "Ah. Much better."

"I think I liked you better when you didn't talk. Remember those days?" Alice wore the look she always had when teasing me – amusement and amicability.

"I do. Those were the days I dreamt up thrilling ways to silence you once and for all. You're lucky I was medicated." Alice was so much fun to tease in return. "And those self-help books encouraged me to talk rather than beating you senseless with them."

"I said I was sorry! A million times, I said I was sorry for that. I didn't know you were comfortable being a whack job."

I gave Alice a playful nudge with my shoulder. "You going back to work?"

She dropped our usual banter and talked excitedly about her plans to work at the courthouse three days a week. They had a babysitting service in an adjoining building, so she wouldn't be far from Emily. It made me happy to see that they were getting their lives back to normal. It really had been difficult on them with Emily's health issues at birth. The conversation then turned to Bella's plans for the future when Rosalie and Emmett excused themselves to tend to Nathan when he cried out.

"What about you, Bella?" Jasper asked. "Will you look for something here or go back to Phoenix once you've got a clean bill of health?"

"I've got some things to clear up down there, but I don't plan on returning for good," she replied. She'd told me as much, but it was still a relief hearing it spoken to someone else. "I don't know what I'm doing for work, though."

"You're not working on another book?" Alice inquired. "I've read your others; really enjoyed them. You should do some more for children."

Bella sucked in her lip. "I don't know… Gianna did the illustrations for my other one. It would be odd working with a different artist. Before the surrogacy, I'd been considering going back to school. Maybe get my teaching degree."

That idea intrigued me. We weren't far from a college…

"Are you staying with Edward while you do that?" Alice asked excitedly. Jasper's foot shot out to kick her at the same time my elbow connected with her ribs. "Ouch! You know, I find it ironic that we all grin and bear Edward's inappropriate remarks or questions, but I ask one little thing regarding him that we all want to know and everyone freaks out."

"What did I miss?" Emmett's head popped out between me and Alice. "You getting yourself in trouble again, Ed?"

"I didn't say a thing," I announced, the picture of innocence.

His head turned to his little sister. "You're the guilty party!"

She smacked his hand away as he started to ruffle her hair. "It's not a big deal. It's not like I asked if they're sleeping together yet. And that really freakin' hurt, Edward! Your elbow is bony."

"Your ribs are," I countered with a grin. "And by the way, you have something green in your hair. It's really disgusting. You're making me feel more than a little ill sitting here next to you."

She began laughing as I pointed it out to Emmett, and he extracted the mush. The heat was off Bella and I, and Alice had learned not to ask intrusive questions. I hoped. It would be so typical for my decade-long crush to come out in a situation like this now that I'd decided to approach it in a different way. It did make me realize that I would have to make a move on that soon if I had any hope of Bella seeing me solely as the man I was now.

"Hey, here comes your cousin, Emily!" Jasper was the first to spot Rosalie emerging with Nathan in her arms. Emily didn't pause in her drinking to take a look. She was more fascinated with her dad's chin as she drank.

Alice whipped around. "Aw! Can I hold him? Want to come see Aunt Alice, sweetheart? You are such a good boy letting Mommy get through dinner."

I shifted more towards Bella to allow the baby to be passed over the back of the couch. Bella slid forward and leaned over my legs to peer at him in Alice's arms. A smile lit up her face. It inspired my own smile. It didn't hurt that Bella's hands were on my leg as she cooed at him either.

"I swear he's grown since Tuesday," Bella commented.

"You're so lucky you get to see him all the time." Alice made a face as she realized that was a comment worthy of me. "Gosh, I'm sorry, Bella."

"Don't be!" Bella brushed it off with a warm smile.

"I can't even imagine how you would feel seeing him," Alice gushed. "Is it weird for you?"

"Alice…" Emmett sang a gentle warning into her ear as I tensed.

Bella shook her head. "No. Honestly, it's no problem. Seeing him… or Alice's questions. Everyone should stop jumping on her."

This brought an instant smug grin to Alice's face. It softened into admiration as she addressed Bella. "It must be such a relief for you to see how healthy he is. I'm really sorry, but this is strange for me. It's almost like there's two different babies – your baby and then Rose and Emmett's baby. I keep thinking it's impossible for you to have been through so much while you were pregnant and have a healthy baby. But when I see this beautiful little guy, he's just my nephew – my brother's new baby. Is that weird for you?" Nervous babbling Alice was back in full force. "I don't know whether to call him your baby or Rose and Em's baby –"

"How 'bout 'Nathan'?" Jasper suggested softly, trying to stop her before she really got going. "Just call him Nathan, darlin'."

"Oh. Right." Alice looked mortified. I genuinely felt bad for her. In a way, I completely understood where she was coming from. I had a hard time not thinking of him as Bella's baby as well when he was born.

One glance at Bella told me she was feeling just as bad for Alice. "Nathan is one hundred percent Rosalie and Emmett's baby boy. But I have a huge soft spot for him, how about that?"

Alice's eyes filled with tears as she nodded. "That's perfect, thanks," she squeaked out. Holding Nathan in her arm closest to me, she reached across to give Bella's hand a squeeze and whispered, "Thank you."

"Oh my god, he smells good," I blurted out as a blast of something fresh hit me. "That's him, right?"

Once again, my family laughed at my ignorance of all things baby. That didn't bother me as much as why everything seemed so foreign to me. Had he smelled like this in the hospital? Did Emily smell this way? Why had I never noticed this before?

Alice peered at me as I leaned in to inspect Nathan a little closer. "This is where you tell me my baby stinks, right?"

"Shut up," I scoffed. "I've never even noticed that they smell before. Seriously, Alice… did Emily smell like this?"

"What? Like a baby? Yes, Edward, she did. She still does when she's not covered in peas and zucchini."

I raised my eyebrows in interest. "Guess I'll have to sniff her more often."

"You need to hold him," Alice challenged.

I shook my head. "No. Really, I don't."

"You do!" She giggled at me as used to when I'd refuse to jump around at concerts with her in the old days. "Come on, Edward. I know you want to!"

I looked at her skeptically. Then at Nathan in wonder. What would he feel like? "I'll probably drop him. What if he cries?"

Bella gave my leg a squeeze. "You won't drop him," she said in soft encouragement. "We'll spot you."

In a last effort to escape what was coming, I looked to my sister who was perched on the arm of Jasper's chair. She smiled at me easily as she stroked Emily's hair. Then she winked at me. Fuck.

I blew out a huge breath and cleared my throat. As if that would help me not drop the baby the moment he was handed to me. I didn't even know how to go about picking him up. I hadn't had any pets to practice on as a child. My parents were too worried that I would be allergic or, at the very least, have something else to irritate my airways. Having my siblings only months younger than me didn't expose me to anything this small either. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"How do I…?" I went at him with both hands as I turned my body towards Alice.

"You just stay there. I'll put him in your arms." Alice was through teasing. She was looking at me proudly as I sat back. "Just cradle him, like I was. Watch his head. Make sure it stays rested on your arm. You'll be fine, Uncle Edward."

My hands trembled as she stood to reposition him. It looked so easy to her. And he looked comfortable with her. "Maybe you should just hang onto him. He looks happy. Bella? You want him?"

She smiled at me, shaking her head. "You first. This is something I've been waiting to see."

That put a whole new spin on it. Bella wanted to see me hold the baby. And he did smell good. I put my arms out with confidence. "Okay. Give him here."

Alice settled him into my arms with the greatest of care, stroking his little cheek before she left him with me. There he was. In my arms. I was no longer shaking, and I hadn't dropped him.

"He's heavier than I thought," I remarked. "He's so small. He looks like he'd weigh nothing."

No one said a word, but I knew all eyes were on me. Mine were glued to the baby boy in my arms. "Hi," I whispered. He fidgeted and looked like he was about to cry, but then he settled in with a sigh. A wide smile grew on my face as I gazed down at him. He had the tiniest little nose I'd ever seen and rosy red lips. Every now and then, his little tongue poked out between them, and he'd make a strange grunting noise. His fingers never stopped moving. One moment they'd be fisted up and then spread open, crossed then fisted again. His nails had been trimmed. Examining his face more closely, I saw the faint line of a scratch near his chin. Probably from trying to suck on his thumb.

"Hey, little guy," I whispered to him, growing more comfortable. "Hi, Nathan. Do you remember me? I remember you. You've kicked me a lot. We'll talk about that when you're older." Feeling bolder, I cradled him in one arm, freeing the other to run a finger along his hair. "So soft," I murmured. "You feel like a little bunny."

If anyone laughed at my quiet conversation with my nephew, I didn't notice. Nothing else seemed to exist at the moment. His eyes were so clear. They were a deep blue, similar to Rosalie's, and they stared back at me with the same intensity with which I was admiring him "I petted a bunny once. In a zoo. A petting zoo, appropriately enough. It was shaking and nervous, but so was I. He ate a carrot from my hand. He didn't bite like I thought he would. When he trusted me, and I trusted him, he let me pet him. He was soft. But you're softer. Do you trust me, Nathan? Not yet? Maybe? A little bit?" He squirmed and flailed his arms around. His fingers came up to my mouth, and I placed a little kiss on them.

"You're so tiny," I said in wonder. "But so strong. You've always been strong, haven't you? You're so different from me when I was your age. So, so different. You were good to Bella, Nathan. Thank you for that. One day, I'm going to take you out and really thank you for that. We'll go see the bunnies. Would you like that? We can feed them and pet them. Then we'll wash up and have some ice cream. Maybe go to the park? Slides are fun. They can be scary at first, but I'd be right there with you. I'll show you how to not fall. I won't let you fall, Nathan." His fingers plucked around my mouth and chin as I spoke to him. I stopped to nibble on them, and he squirmed some more.

I laughed softly when he yawned. "Am I boring you? I don't blame you. There are much more interesting faces to look at. Can he actually see? Like, full details of faces and stuff?" I finally looked away from him to ask the knowing crowd. My eyes went from one stunned face to the next. There was not a dry eye in the room.

~ 0 ~

Rosalie clung to me as we said our goodbyes at the door. "I wish you could stay longer."

"Have to keep the visits short," I explained, kissing the top of her head. "Four hours tops. Then Bella's boobs turn into pumpkins."

My sister snorted out a chuckle as Bella's jaw dropped. "Pumpkins?"

"Yeah, you know… that princess story thingy… where she turns into a pumpkin at midnight or whatever?"

Bella clutched her stomach to laugh. And she laughed hard. "Edward! It's a stage coach that turns into a pumpkin, not the girl. Or her boobs!"

"Alice's boobs turned into pumpkins when she was nursing. It was really cool," Jasper interjected with a naughty smirk. His wife scowled at him on her way to embrace Bella.

"I'm so glad you came over tonight. I wish we lived closer. I feel like you're family even though we're just getting to know each other. Will you come to Seattle with Edward sometime? We have lots of room. You can stay with us. All of you! Please come. We miss you all so much!"

Rosalie joined in their girl circle hug as my brothers held their respective babies. I stood there scratching my head and thinking of Bella's pumpkins and ice cream.

"Do they have pumpkin flavoured ice cream?" I asked when Bella and I got in the car. "I feel like ice cream."

"I don't know about that," Bella responded.

"You don't know if there's pumpkin ice cream, or you don't know if we should have ice cream, period?"

"All I know is that I want to hug the life out of you."

I chuckled, shifting the car back into park. "Okay!"

Her seltbelt flew off and she was on me in a flash. "You still smell like him," she murmured as she gripped me.

I thought it was a good thing, after realizing how much I enjoyed his scent. Maybe she didn't. "Is that good?"

"It's awesome, Edward. So awesome." She gave me a firmer squeeze and a kiss on the jaw before moving back to her own seat. "Now, let's get some ice cream. We have about forty minutes until my boobs turn orange."

A/N ~ Thank you Shug, for fixing this up so quickly! Thank you msj, for fixing me up, as always. :) And thank you to my readers for sticking with the frustration of a sloooow burn that I love to write, and for understanding when I don't respond to reviews. It means so much. XX ~ SR