True Love Way

Chapter 21

Bella struggled with puppy care the next day while I was at work. The moment I came home – with the dog bed in hand – she passed him off to me so that she could go "empty out" (her words). Apparently, Don Everly wasn't fond of the hum the breast pump emitted. He also didn't care to be left alone, so she couldn't even shut him out of the room. I took him in the bathroom with me while I got cleaned up. He was just fine with that. He seemed impressed by his new bed, as well. I wondered if he understood at all that it meant he would no longer be snoring, wedged between me and Bella. I somehow doubted it.

"I see you in that bed before I see Don Everly getting too cozy it in." Bella teased me when she caught me on the floor, half lying in the dog bed.

"I have a feeling you're right about that. Just when I got my side of the bed back, too. Sucks. Did you get business taken care of?"

She beamed at me. "It's in the freezer! You asked Rosalie to bring the cooler bag, right?" They transported Nathan's milk back and forth regularly – my sister knew the routine. Regardless, I had reminded her since Bella was fretting so much about leaving them short.

They were at the apartment door before I could respond. Bella stayed in the bedroom with the puppy so he wouldn't jump all over them the moment they brought the baby in.

"Hey!" I smiled widely as I opened the door for them. "Bella said to tell you ten minutes until dinner," I informed Emmett, as per instructions. She wanted to get that out there even before he asked.

He set the baby bag down and clapped his hands together. "Perfect! She knows the way to my heart."

"Edward's too," Rosalie murmured as I leaned in for a kiss. "You look different. Something's happened."

I was smiling at her keen observance but fixated on the baby in her arms. "He's grown. I only saw him a few days ago, but he's already bigger."

The proud mom smiled in agreement. "He's growing like crazy! None of his first clothes fit. It's insane!"

"Unbelievable, considering the amount of poop he puts out," Emmett contributed to the conversation. "Hope you've got a nose plug, dude, 'cause he'll be leaving his dinner behind in your trash can. Probably two or three of them."

I stared at him, baffled by the joy he seemed to feel over his son's shitting habits.

"We'll take them with us when we go," Rose assured me. "Don't worry about it. Where's Bella?"

My smile returned. "She's in the bedroom. Occupying our newest family member. We got a puppy."

Neither of them could hide their astonishment. Emmett was the first to snap out of it. "Well, bring them out! Why is she hiding?"

"We didn't want to overwhelm him. Or the baby. He's from a shelter… we only got him yesterday. I don't know how he'll be around Nathan."

"Only one way to find out." Emmett went straight for the bedroom and rapped on it. "Come on out!"

"He's been on me about getting a dog for Nathan. Apparently, every boy should grow up with a dog," Rose told me quietly. "This is good. He can get his fix through you. I can't handle a dog and a new baby."

"Yeah. The puppy poops too," I quipped, giving a nod to Emmett's fascination. I turned to find him on the floor with the puppy lapping away at his face. They both looked utterly content together. "You know you're gonna have to get that man a dog. He's just using Nathan as an excuse."

"Aw, look how cute they are together," Bella said teasingly as she joined us. She gave Rose a kiss and Nathan a cheek rub. "Hi, cutey! You get more handsome every day! Doesn't he, Edward?"

"No Pound Puppy here. Can I take him for you?" Both ladies stared at me, slack-jawed. "What?"

"You're asking to hold him? For real? Or is Alice hiding somewhere and you're beating her to the punch before she forces him on you?"

I rolled my eyes at my sister. "Shut it, you. Unless you don't trust me with him. Should I sit down?"

Even before I could move, Rose was passing the bundled baby over to me. The smell of fresh everything washed over me as I cradled him. He was wide awake this time, his eyes big and wide, staring at me. I stared back.

"He looks like he's waiting for me to do something amazing. What am I supposed to do?"

"Show him the puppy," Emmett called over. "He'll love this guy!"

"I don't think I should be the one doing that. What if he freaks out?" What if I freaked out when Nathan did?

"Nah. It'll be cool. I've got the puppy. Sit down and I'll bring him over."

The girls watched with interest as I sat with the baby, and Emmett carried the puppy over.

"Nathan, meet Don Everly." I made the introduction formally, and they cracked on us over the chosen name for the dog. "I didn't mock your choice of name. Come on," I teased back.

"I guess Nathan has two cousins now," Rosalie quipped as she sat beside me. "Alice and Don. Mom and Dad will be so proud! Have you Skype'd her?"

I shook my head as Bella laughed.

"Oh, Edward. She'll be ticked off if you don't tell her about her new grandpuppy right away."

"Rosalie, I am not having an internet chat with my dog and my mother. I'll send her a picture."

She clucked her tongue at me, knowing that wouldn't appease our mother. Bella stepped in to get me off the hook by announcing dinner. It was perfect timing all around, because Nathan was beginning to squirm in my arms and Don was anxious to get at him. The first few test sniffs didn't seem to satisfy his canine curiosity. Emmett may have revelled in the doggy kisses, but I didn't know how Nathan would take it. I was still trying to get used to them myself. In fact, I had picked up a tub of baby wipes when I shopped after work for my own use. I figured if they could clean a baby's ass, they could get dog slobber off efficiently as well. I just didn't know if they would be good enough for cleaning off Nathan. Besides, the wipes were in the other room.

Dinner was interesting with Rose shovelling her meal in one-handed, and Bella giving Emmett proper shit for feeding Don from the table. I enjoyed watching them all. Their interaction showed nothing of this being anything new. It was like Bella had never left us and Nathan was always part of the group. Don Everly was currently fetching the most attention.

Bella scolded Emmett some more after dinner for getting him so wound up. He gave Nathan a bottle while she calmed Don down. Rose and I cleaned up the kitchen.

"So, co-adopting a puppy is a big step." Rosalie smirked at me. "The wow factor?"

I glared at her playfully. "You advised me to be myself. I would do anything to make Bella happy, and she's always wanted a puppy."

"I never knew that," Rosalie said softly. "You honestly do know her better than any of us. Did it work? Have you won her over?"

I felt my ears heating up and my throat seemed to close over. I cleared it and turned away from her prying eyes.

"It did! Oh my god!" Her arms went around my waist even as she jumped up and down.

"Jesus, Rose! You're channeling Alice. Calm yourself."

"Spill it then. What happened? Something happened. You can't lie, Edward. Tell me!"

Her exuberance was contagious. My smile matched hers and she was right, I couldn't lie. "It's… we're… working on it."

Her eyes glistened with excitement for me. "Talking-working or action-working?"

"Rose!" My ears were on fire.

"What? Please, I'm not asking for details. I know you didn't do it – she can't do that yet anyway. Post-surgery. You know."

No. I didn't. I mean, it felt like it was right to wait on anything more physical, but I didn't actually consider physical restrictions. I felt stupid for not realizing that, but at the same time, grateful that Rose had been the one to throw that out there and not Bella in the midst of… action.

"We kissed some," I admitted quietly. "And talked."

"So you're together?"

I shrugged, head down. Bella wasn't my first girlfriend – why did this feel like my first everything? "It's not really us to call it something. It's just what it is."

Rosalie did another round of Alice. "This is it! Friends with benefits this is not. Anything other than that doesn't require naming."

I frowned at her. "How do you know it's not going to be something like that?"

"Pfft! Edward, I know you." She held my face in her hands. "I. Know. You. And you're not the only one who knows Bella." She grinned at me coyly.

"What do you know?"

"We talk…"

"About…? What – me?"

"Ego much, big brother?" She teased me, pinching my cheek. "Yeah, you come up sometimes. This isn't a benefits thing for her. Trust me on that." She double-pinched me and then released. "Good for you, going for what you want. This is going to be amazing."

"Rose! Did you tell him?" Emmett burst into the kitchen with Nathan in his arms as he caught the tail end of our conversation. His face showed disappointment, thinking that Rosalie had revealed something major. Well, this was major to me, but I couldn't see how it would bother Emmett if we discussed it without him.

Suddenly, I clued in to the fact that they were here to discuss something – and it wasn't my relationship with Bella. They had news. My stomach dropped, thinking the worst. I felt the hair on the back of my neck raise, and I had to swallow excessively to eliminate all the saliva building in my mouth. She couldn't be pregnant. No… they couldn't replicate the past. Nathan couldn't be me – the adopted child, big brother to the beautiful blood child of their parents.

I battled my thoughts, struggling not to let anything show. I should be thrilled for them if my sister was actually pregnant. She wanted that so badly. Nathan was foremost in my mind, however. The need to protect him from anything that could ever hurt him, even remotely, was dominating everything. My eyes were glued to him. He looked content in his father's arms. Just as beautiful as always. He wasn't me. He hadn't killed his birth mother. He wouldn't grow up with the internal shit I'd been dealing with my whole life. He was healthy and wanted. And so very loved. I would always make him feel special, no matter what.

"We should get out there with Bella," I suggested. My heart was still pounding, and I could feel a trickle of sweat running down my back even though I felt chilled. I needed to see her. Being near her would ground me. I talked to myself the whole way out, reminding myself that it was simply negative thoughts. The worst thoughts I'd ever had involved Bella, and they were proven unfounded. She'd made it through childbirth with no problems. Both she and Nathan were healthy. Nathan could be happy his entire life.

He. Wasn't. Me.

"What's wrong?" Bella whispered to me as I sat beside her. Her hand instantly grabbed onto mine. I responded with a look that she interpreted instantly. I would tell her later on.

"So, before Emmett has a coronary thinking I've ruined everything… we asked to come over for a reason." Rosalie sat on the chair opposite us, holding Nathan as Emmett perched on the arm beside them.

My hand tightened around Bella's.

Emmett and Rosalie exchanged looks, and he took over. "You know how thankful we are that you offered us the chance to adopt Nathan."

Fear continued to swirl through me.

"He means the world to us. He's better than anything we'd ever imagined." He pressed on even though he was choking up. "I think about this constantly – how if Ed and I weren't coming home from Forks that night of the accident… If you two hadn't been so close when we were kids, he wouldn't have felt the need to follow up on it…" He paused to gain a little more control. Taking a deep breath and smiling at his wife, he finally calmed down. "It's like all of this was meant to be. We were all meant to be exactly where we are in life at this point –"

"Honey, you should just get to the point. I think my brother's about to pass out." Rosalie had a serious look of concern on her face for me. I wasn't hiding my anxiety very well. I laughed to put her mind at ease. She didn't relax until Bella joined in and grasped my hand between both of hers. A knowing smile passed over Rose, and she nudged her husband.

"We would love it if you two would agree to be Nathan's godparents," Emmett blurted.

Bella gripped my hand more for herself this time. I blew out a breath of relief that there wasn't the news I'd feared, but Bella was tense.

"Oh, guys! You don't have to do that! Honestly, I don't want you to feel obligated to me in any way for Nathan –"

As she spoke, I realized she probably wasn't very comfortable with being so involved with the baby she'd carried for nine months and given to different parents. "Yeah. Really, wouldn't Alice and Jasper be better for that? Return the favour, since you're Emily's godparents?"

Both of them frowned at our reaction. "Actually, no," Rose stated. "I don't think they would be better. I think you two are the only ones in the world who would love him as much as we do. At least, that's what we thought." Her voice faded out in sadness and embarrassment. "God, this was really… I'm sorry. I didn't even think of how much we're putting you on the spot. You don't have to –"

"I do love him, Rose!" Bella insisted softly. "I've always wanted the very best for him, you know that. I can't stand the thought of him losing…" Her eyes pinched shut. "It's not being a godparent that I'm opposed to – it's just really difficult to think of either of you not being around."

"That won't happen, Angel Bells," Emmett spoke with confidence. "This guy has been through the ringer, and he doesn't even know it. He came out of it perfectly fine. You have to have faith that he will never be put through anything like that again." He slid off the arm of the chair and knelt in front of Bella. "If this is asking too much of you, if you genuinely don't feel comfortable being this involved in his life – forever – you can say so. But if you're thinking that this is us repaying you for Nathan, you're wrong."

Emmett spoke gently, looking directly into her eyes. "We've never really gotten into this, but I think we should lay it out. This is a really strange arrangement. The world's most open of open adoptions." He smirked at her, dimples and all. "That's because you're family. Whether or not you gave birth to him or you agree to be his godmother, you're family because we love you. Do you understand? This isn't about you giving Nathan life and then us a chance to be parents. It's about family looking out for family. That's all. And Rose and I would be so honoured if you would be part of his life this way."

I didn't know who to focus on – Bella or Rose. Both were crying. Rose was nodding, agreeing with every word from her husband with enthusiasm. Bella looked torn between wanting to run and wanting to embrace them as her own family.

"Maybe we could think about it?" I suggested, giving Bella an out.

"I'll do it if Edward will."

My head spun to look at her. She was staring at me, challenging me to say what I wanted.

"I don't do diapers," I quipped. "Or snotty noses."

My sister hiccupped out a laugh and a sob simultaneously. It sounded like there would be snot bubbles involved, so I avoided looking.

"And you take the shitty diapers home with you. Every time."

"Watch your language, Uncle Edward," Rose reminded me with a snicker.

I was still locked on Bella, who was now smiling. "If Bella agrees, and you two aren't going to bail on us, I suppose we could do this. I already have plans to make him idolize his Uncle Edward anyway, so I guess I could do some extra stuff with him. I'll even watch him for you on occasion, if you'll reciprocate."

Emmett plunked down hard on his ass. "Something you want to tell us?"

"The puppy!" Bella laughed as she explained what I was referring to. "He's talking about dogsitting."

"Of course." Emmett laughed at his mistake, but Rose eyed me curiously. "Yeah, absolutely. I'll take your little guy anytime."

"Puppy love," Rosalie quipped, still giving me a meaningful look.

~ 0 ~

"You're really all right with being Nathan's godmother?" Bella and I were in bed, currently alone. We had spent more than an hour convincing Don Everly that his bed was even better than ours. Well, we alternated chasing him off our bed with cuddles to make sure he knew it was nothing personal.

"Are you?"

"I'm not going to be his godmother."

Bella rolled her big beautiful eyes at me. "You know what I mean. I know you're not into babies."

I shrugged. "This one's different. He's kind of okay." I glanced sideways at her with a smirk. "Besides, he is my nephew so it's really no big difference."

"Okaaaay. Whatever." She finished off her statement with a snort. "Would you rather leave me with the thought that you're sexist? You don't interact with your niece the same way."

She was right, but it had nothing to do with being sexist and everything to do with Nathan growing inside of Bella. I turned onto my side, placing a hand gently on her stomach. It was so different without the solid baby bump. She was still a little tender from the surgery, but it was well on its way to being back to normal.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked softly.

"Is this a serious something or a smartass something?"

"Serious."

She rolled onto her side to face me. A gentle smile showed her approval.

"Do you want Nathan to know you gave birth to him? Down the road, I mean. What do you want to be to him? Or would you rather play a small role or…?"

"I couldn't be nothing to him," Bella filled in where I hesitated. "I don't think I could ever just walk away from him. I don't know if I want him to know. I guess that's up to Rose and Em. I'll go along with whatever they decide to tell him. I would like him to know who his genetic parents were. I think that's important."

I nodded in agreement. "I think it's important not to lie to him at all. My parents never lied; they just waited until we were old enough to understand. And they only told me the gory details when I was older. They showed me pictures of Elizabeth – my mother. I have a picture of her. She wanted to be a counsellor. For troubled teens. Because she was one. And then she gave birth to one." I chuckled at the irony.

"Will you show me sometime?" Bella asked in a soft voice.

I hummed an affirmative. "It's going to be strange for Nathan. You'll be involved in his life, but he won't know how involved. He's going to love you anyway. But what if he finds out you carried him but never said anything? Will he understand that you love him regardless of his origin, or will he think you kept it from him?" All sorts of scenarios played through my mind before I realized how thoughtless I was being. "Jesus, Bella, I'm sorry. You don't need all of my neurotic thoughts plaguing you as well."

"I've already thought all those things myself."

"You never talk about it," I stated gently. "Is it difficult for you to see him all the time?"

Her eyes welled up, but she was smiling. "I think I'd go nuts if I didn't see him. I don't know, Edward. I don't talk about it because I don't really know how I feel. It changes from one minute to the next. I'm still dealing with hormones and praying that Gianna and Marcus would approve of my decision. I feel like it's the first adult decision I've ever made."

I scowled in disbelief. "I think agreeing to the surrogacy was a very adult decision. It's not something many people would do."

"But I thought I had them to see me through it," she countered. "Nathan was supposed to have them."

"Do you think they would have expected you to keep him yourself?" I tipped her chin up to look at me. "Bella? Is that what you think?"

She started to respond, but then clamped her mouth shut. A little moan escaped when she tried again. She dropped her head against my shoulder and chuckled. "I don't know. I mean… no. I don't think they'd expect me to keep him as my own. They knew how I felt about motherhood. Gianna was meant to be a mother. Rose, too. She's an awesome mom already. Me…?" She huffed and then laughed again. "Still… I love him in a very special way. Does that make sense?"

It made perfect sense. It described exactly how I felt about him as well. "Of course it does. I think they'd approve of the parents you chose for Nathan. They'll do what's right for him. I think they've already answered all my ponderings anyway – they did name him after his genetic parents. I'm guess they plan to let him know just how many people loved him even before he was a McCarty."

When Bella shifted away from me, she was smiling. "I love the fact that he's part of the Cullen family. He's a very lucky little boy."

"I thought they were going to tell us Rosalie was pregnant," I blurted. "Earlier… that's why I came out of the kitchen looking like death."

"So, what – if she was having a baby, you don't think she'd want Nathan –" Her eyes popped open wide. "Oh! He'd be in the same position you were. Only his little brother or sister would be a little younger than yours." She smiled at me, stroking my cheek to try to make the mood lighter.

"And he didn't cause you any harm," I added. "I guess it would be completely different. I feel like an asshole now for thinking that would be bad news."

"That must be why she urged Emmett to just get on with it when she noticed how shaken you were. She must have figured out that you were drawing comparisons."

"Uhhh… I highly doubt that." I chuckled in a nervous way. "She doesn't know that part of my anxiety."

Bella's eyes widened in shock.

"Unless you've told her."

"No! Of course not! But I thought she knew. Why doesn't she know?"

I shrugged. "No one does except you, me, and Aro."

"Your mom and dad? Jasper? No one? My god, Edward. How have you managed to keep that inside?"

"It's really not something I'd bring into conversation at a party," I wisecracked. "I don't know. I guess I just didn't want my family feeling bad about Elizabeth too, you know? When my parents told me about her, I could see how much they cared for her, even in the short time she was with them. It was like they lost a child of their own, I'm sure. I was a pretty sad excuse for a replacement to begin with. If I kept making them relive it, it would have made it worse for everyone."

Bella sat up during my speech. Her eyes narrowed with sadness. "Edward… is that the real reason why you don't want kids? You said you don't want your DNA ruining a child's life – do you think a baby would use your DNA against his or her mother?"

I could barely breathe, let alone reply to her. I hadn't thought it through with the clarity she'd just presented, but she hit it dead on. I'd spent twenty years trying to get comfortable in my own skin and make myself believe that I wouldn't be the cause of anyone else's death. Twenty-plus years to conquer the shit-fest of genes I'd inherited from my poor victim and an unknown sperm donor, aka vanishing biological father. A baby didn't stand a chance overcoming genetics in the nine months spent in utero.

Bella whimpered as she leaned down to kiss my forehead. I closed my eyes and let her warmth wash over me. "I'm glad you told me," she said softly. "There is nothing you have to keep entirely inside, Edward. You can tell me anything and it stays with us. You don't have to do this alone your whole life."

I nodded, eyes still closed. "Please don't say anything to Rose about me thinking she was pregnant. She'd be devastated if she thought I was unhappy about that prospect."

Soft hands stroked my cheek, my jaw, my hair. Sweet lips traced over my brow and the tip of my nose. I finally opened my eyes to find her staring into them. "They are thoughts, Edward. Everyone has thoughts that aren't meant to be shared with someone it would hurt. It doesn't make them wrong or you wrong for thinking them. They're just thoughts."

Suddenly, I had an inkling of how Rose had felt earlier – emotions brimming and coming to the surface in a not so glamorous way. Apprehension being stomped on by self-worth. Fear swallowed by a feeling of being completely safe. Contentment and the desire to laugh battled the pitiful urge to sob. It all erupted in a choked-off sound I couldn't begin to describe.

"You know who you sound like, Bella? Aro. He told me that very same thing, years ago. I didn't quite buy it then. I should have. He's brilliant, really. He was right with everything else. I never should have let my thoughts poison me. I should have stood up for what I wanted."

"What did you want?"

I smiled at the beautiful girl, completely in the dark about the depth of my feelings for her. "You, Bella. Always you."

~ 0 ~

We got up extra early to spend some time together, sharing breakfast before I left for work. Charlie wasn't set to arrive until the afternoon; they were catching the red-eye, hoping to relieve any flight anxiety by sleeping through it. Bella divided her time between me and Don. I was developing a slight jealousy over him, but at least I still shared the bed with her.

She seemed a little off when I was leaving, but I figured I was too. I would miss her desperately, and I had more than a little apprehension creeping up. The last thing I wanted was for her to worry about me, so I did my best to put on a brave face and said goodbye, in case I wasn't home before she and Charlie left for Seattle.

I was pleasantly surprised to find them in the apartment when I returned. "You waited," I greeted her, wearing a huge grin. "Charlie, good to see you."

He nodded with his friendly grin. "You too. But we really do have to get going."

Bella started rattling off things from a mental list. "I made dinner. It's in the fridge. There's more milk for Nathan in the freezer if he runs out. You'll see them over the weekend, right? Can you bring some, just in case? Don pooped an hour ago. He should be good for the night. Just take him for a pee. Oh, and there's cookies. I made enough to last you if you ration yourself."

"Right." I nodded, still wearing my stupid grin. "I'll hit the tread mill while I'm munching."

"Riiiight." Bella laughed at me, patting my tummy. She gave it an extra squeeze and tickle towards the side. She'd already learned my tickle zone. "Come here, Don Everly! Oh my goodness, I'm gonna miss you so much!" She squatted down to hug him as he fled towards her.

"That's a ridiculous name for a dog," Charlie opined.

Bella quirked an eyebrow at him. "He knows it's his name. He answers to it already. Don Everly is the perfect name for such a smart puppy. You're so smart, aren't you Don? You be a good, good boy for Edward, okay? Don't leave him messes when he's working. Remember our talk about that."

The puppy wagged his tail excitedly and panted as usual, completely unaware of what she was saying. It didn't stop her.

"Now I know you're going to want to climb in bed with him, but remember, you've got your own big puppy bed! It's so cool! Let Edward sleep, okay? He needs his sleep to take care of you. If you're a good puppy, I'll bring you a surprise." She kissed his head one more time before standing. "And you…" She spun around to address me. "Don't be soft on him. He slept just fine in his own bed. Don't cave."

I chuckled, knowing full well that I would. "I'll do my best. Have a safe trip. Call me when you land?"

She frowned. "It'll be like, four in the morning."

"I don't care. I want to know you're there." It's not like I would be sleeping anyway. "Call me." Those words were muted – pleading.

Bella reached for my hands and nodded. "I'll call. Keep the phone in bed with you so at least it won't wake up Don."

I smiled at the thoughtfulness she had in regards to our puppy's sleep needs. I gave her hands a squeeze and then went for a hug.

Clearing his throat loudly, Charlie stepped around us to pick up Bella's bag. "I'll just wait out in the hallway. Give you two some privacy in case there's any mushy stuff." He clapped me on the back as he passed by. "You should bring Bella down to Forks sometime soon. Stay for a few days. We'll have your folks over."

"Sure thing, Charlie. Safe trip."

"I'll take care of her, son. Don't worry. Now get on with it or we're not going to fit in any pit stops. Go, go, go!" He stepped outside, pulling the door closed behind him.

Bella stood on her toes to kiss me. "I will be fine," she assured me in a whisper. "I'll be fine. I'll call you as soon as we land." Another kiss followed. "Please try to sleep."

I gave a little nod. I'd try. "No promises. I'll keep the phone by my side – pretend it's you."

She got an evil little glint in her eyes, and I felt something tugging at my pant leg. "The phone won't do this."

I had assumed the tugging was coming from Don. I was wrong. "Ouch!" I cried out with a laugh of shock. "I'll never get used to your pincers."

"Not pincers… pinchers. My toes are made for pinching."

"And your lips for kissing?" I asked with a cheeky grin. "One more for the road?"

"Absolutely." Her arms draped around my shoulders as I crouched down. I was glad Charlie had stepped out. This wasn't the kind of kiss you felt comfortable doing in front of parents. It heated up quickly for a goodbye kiss. It was much more demanding than time allowed. When we parted, we were both breathing heavily.

"Fuck," I murmured as I tipped my forehead down to hers. "That felt like more."

"It will be." Bella nipped at my bottom lip. "Soon."

"Not soon enough!" I laughed as I expressed the precise thoughts of a lower extremity that seemed to be in full working order despite the trauma of two days ago. I took one more kiss even as Charlie rapped against the door, calling out, "Go, go, go!"

Bella sucked in her lip after the kiss, closing her eyes for a few beats. "Be strong with Don. I'll be back soon."

I smiled as brightly as I could. I had no words.

"Don't even think about saying it," Bella blurted out in our silence.

"What?" Did she think I was going to say those three words that had ended my relationship with Lauren? The three words I'd never said to any woman?

"That parting word… the 'g word'… or 'b word'… you know what I mean. I'm not saying it to you ever again."

'I have to say goodbye to you, Edward…'

My throat closed over as those words flashed through my mind. The memory of our last conversation all those years ago still stung.

"I'm going to see you real soon. I'm coming home. I promise."

I uttered the only words I could manage as she joined Charlie in the hallway. "Be safe."

~ 0 ~

Bella called from Phoenix, as promised. I picked up on the first ring. I hadn't slept a wink, but Don Everly was snoring away at the foot of the bed. Yeah, I'd caved. The connection was shit, only making the distance between us seem even greater. Still, I was relieved to hear that they'd landed safe and sound, and I wasn't at all surprised when Bella announced that she spotted Kate at the baggage claim. I'd seen the close bond between them years ago, and it was heartening to know that Kate hadn't given up on it. Why else would she be there to pick them up at four in the morning? I let Bella go so that she could reunite with her family, and I got up to start my day with a run on the treadmill. There was no point in trying to sleep for an hour or so anyway.

I took Don out for his morning run and doggy business before showering for work. He was genuinely the happiest puppy I'd ever seen. He still looked underfed and awkward – like he had a lot of growing to do in order to fit his long legs – but his actions were so exuberant, it was like he'd always been in a content environment. The only time he showed his neglected puppy background was when I started to leave for work.

"Don, you can't come with me this time. Sorry, buddy." I stooped down to give him some affection, slamming the door shut with my butt so he wouldn't crawl through my legs and out the door. He licked at my face and neck, completely oblivious to what I'd just told him. "We'll go for an extra-long walk when I come home tonight, all right? Maybe we'll go for tacos. I'll get one for you, too."

I had to stand up to put an end to the slobbering. I was close to needing another shower as it was. "Okay, I have to go. You be a good boy while I'm gone. I know you will be. You remember where your water dish is, right? And your food? Remember where I showed you to use the bathroom, if you have to." I'd laid papers out on top of a plastic table cloth I'd picked up at a dollar store near an open window. He really didn't seem to go too much, but I hoped if he couldn't wait for me, he'd find the paper.

Even that didn't matter so much as I heard the whimpering begin even before I got three steps down the stairs. "Oh, Don Everly. You're breaking my heart."

I was tempted to go home on my lunch to check on him, but I figured it would only make it harder for both of us. I didn't want to hear him cry when I left again. And I'm sure he didn't want to be alone anymore. Instead, I spent my lunch break wondering if he thought this was it – he was being abandoned again. I even found myself dreaming up different scenarios of just how he lost his doggy family, and how he ended up with people who didn't love him. How could anyone not love him? When I began imagining that he lost his mother at birth, I hauled my ass out of my chair and went out for a strong coffee and a slice of cinnamon pound cake. Comfort food and caffeine got me through the afternoon.

When I arrived at my building after work, I held the door open for a neighbour I recognized on his way out. We'd never spoken, other than occasional greetings, but I couldn't understand why I got a glare in return this time. I stepped in, stopping at my mailbox.

"Someone's pretty anxious for you to get upstairs." A voice I knew, but couldn't place, startled me.

Turning to look at her, I recognized her as one of the two girls who shared the apartment at the end of my hallway. I nodded, frowning. "It's his first day alone. Was he a nuisance?"

"I swear he hasn't stopped all day long. It's so pathetic. I even sat outside your door for about half an hour, talking to him through it. He calmed down a little for that. Just whimpers then."

My eyebrows lifted. "Just whimpers? Oh no. Was it worse than that?"

My kind neighbour started chuckling. "You'll see. Good luck with him. He sounds adorable. And… peppy."

I sighed, banging my head against the mailboxes as I closed mine up. "Hey, thanks for trying with him. That was nice of you to do that."

She turned to smile at me. "Your girlfriend sends over cookies every time she bakes. I know she's away, and I figured that's why he was crying. Anyway, I just wanted to return the favour somehow. Hope Bella comes back soon. She's sweet."

The goof that resided in me smiled proudly, like I had anything to do with Bella's sweet nature. "Yeah, thanks… er… I'm Edward, by the way."

"Bree." She flashed another smile as she headed out. "Nice to actually meet you."

I mumbled a goodbye as I headed for the stairs. My free hand wandered up to give my hair a tug as I braced myself for what I would encounter in my apartment. I was only half a flight up when I comprehended the glare from the first neighbour. I ran up the rest of the stairs, miraculously without stumbling at all, and dropped my bag and mail so I could open the door and shut Don Everly the hell up.

"Well, Bella," I said to myself, "It seems I not only picked a snoring dog, but we've got ourselves a howler. And a destructive one at that." I grimaced as I surveyed the damage. All the while, Don jumped up at me, tail wagging and tongue hanging to the side. He looked like the picture of innocence. My apartment, however, showed his hidden dark side.

A/N ~ Happy Victoria Day, my fellow Canadians! Hope you're all having a wonderful long weekend. :)

I'd be lost without my back-up: beta-reader, Shug and msj, pre-reader, coach, friend, etc. And I seem to have a psychic pre-reader in Sherryola. LOL You'll see. ;) Thanks for reading, all! XX ~ SR