Homesick
Chapter Five
Nowaki sat in the empty room looking at Hiroki's "Pest One" contact. His thumb hovered over the call button. Then Nowaki sighed.
He closed out of that entry and pulled up "Pest Two."
"Kamijou?" Miyagi answered, obviously having seen his junior's information pop up.
Nowaki was startled by the amount of concern Miyagi was able to impart into this single word.
"No, Professor Miyagi," Nowaki's tone was apologetic. "This is Kusama, I'm calling from Kamijou-san's phone."
"You found him then?"
"Yes."
"Why is it I find the fact you're calling from his phone increases my anxiety rather than relieves it, Kusama-kun?" Miyagi asked cautiously.
"Kamijou-san's very sick, Professor.
"I'm at the hospital with him now and they're running some tests. But I can tell you I feel quite confident that he's going to be unable to teach for a while."
Nowaki heard Miyagi breathe a deep sigh on the other end of the phone.
"Any idea what's wrong with him, Kusama-kun?"
"Appendix most likely."
"Poor bastard," Miyagi clucked sadly. "Look, Kusama-kun, I'll call the dean and let him know what's going on.
"And I'll see what I can do to make sure Kamijou's classes are covered.
"Tell him too, when you're able, not to worry about anything. Despite all his assertions, I can be competent on occasion… Miyagi joked trying to lighten the situation. "I just don't like to make a habit of it,"
"Thank you so much, Professor Miyagi, I know Hiro… Kamijou-san will greatly appreciate your consideration."
Nowaki hesitated. "As do I, Sir… Thank you."
On the other end of the phone Miyagi cleared his throat, uneasy with the gratitude he heard expressed in Nowaki's voice.
"Well, it's really just because I need him to get his ass back here," he grumbled.
"After all, who else is going to do my work for me?"
Nowaki smiled at Miyagi's efforts to dismiss his obvious distress over his junior's situation. He was shocked, however, when Miyagi asked, "How about you, Kusama-san? Is there anything you need?"
The young intern was genuinely touched by the question and the earnestness in the professor's voice. "No, Professor," Nowaki said softy, "but thank you for asking."
"Yeah, well look… if in the future there is, please let me know.
"And I know you will be very busy with Kamijou until you get everything sorted out, but if you think of it, I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't mind giving me a call from time to time to update me on how things are going," Miyagi said uncomfortably.
"I'll be sure and do that, Professor."
After Nowaki ended the call, he pulled up Hiroki's mother's contact again.
What am I going to tell her?
Nowaki still felt confident the C.A.T. scan would show it was appendicitis but the thought that he might have inadvertently hurt Hiro-san during one of their "intimate times" ate at him unmercifully.
He always tried to be careful when he and Hiroki coupled, though if was hard for him to hold back sometimes.
But since he'd returned and they'd made up, while they might still be tentative in other aspects of their relationship, in the sexual arena he and Hiro-san had been voracious. Some nights found them each clinging to the other's flesh as if it would disappear if one of them let go.
This got Nowaki considering what Hiroki had said after the admission of his one night stand.
Hiro-san honestly didn't know where I was or if I was coming back.
It was true, after that one conversation with Hiro-san about the opportunity to go abroad and study, he hadn't spoken of it again before he left Japan.
Well, not to Hiro-san anyway.
He had called the orphanageto let Mama Kusama know he wouldn't be coming out to see the children anymore for a while. He'd also contacted all his various employers.
Nowaki remembered how painful those last few weeks prior to his leaving had been.
Hiroki was so immersed in his thesis they'd hardly been spending any time together. Though actually this had seemed for the best, since Nowaki could hardly bear to be near his lover at that point.
He hadn't even left and already he'd been desperately missing Hiro-san.
The last night they'd had together he had taken Hiroki with such desperate, frantic passion it had left them both breathless.
In the end he had slipped out while Hiroki, completely spent, was still sleeping having never said "good bye."
Though he'd wanted to confess his plans at every moment, Nowaki had remained silent, knowing it would have only take the slightest frown or flicker of sadness in his lover's dark eyes and he would have immediately thrown all his plans to the side.
Considering Hiro-san's devotion to his studies and all he had sacrificed to achieve his dreams, would he have been able to respect him if he'd done that?
Nowaki didn't think so.
If he'd allowed his love to divert him like that Nowaki had feared too that he would never have any chance of being perceived as an equal by Hiroki someday.
On another level, Nowaki had been secretly afraid too that if he told Hiro-san of his plans, his lover might not have reacted all. He based this in part on Hiro-san's casual response in the coffee shop the first time he had mentioned leaving
Hiroki had been so busy, in fact, Nowaki had worried that he might actually have been relieved by his absence. If that had happened Nowaki didn't think he could have borne it.
A similar thing had occurred when he was in America and had written all those letters.
Again, Nowaki hadn't sent them because if Hiro-san had responded he wouldn't have been able to keep himself from rushing back to Japan
But while he eventually told Hiroki this what he hadn't told him was that there was another reason he hadn't sent them.
He was too fearful that Hiro-san hadn't even missed him.
Nowaki had his own sense of pride, though it wasn't as overt as Hiroki's and the idea of Hiro-san laughing over his sappy letters, possibly considering them another instance of his immaturity had also stilled his hand from dropping his missives into the post.
Now he was back, Nowaki realized how unfair his actions had been.
Given the circumstances Hiroki's actions seemed perfectly justifiable.
In fact, given what little he had gleaned about his boyfriend's earlier years, Nowaki supposed he actually should have been surprised that Hiro-san hadn't done something like that much earlier.
Damn, I wish I had sent those letters.
Nowaki was so lost in his thoughts he didn't realize how much time had passed. The curtain outside the door of Hiroki's room rustled and Dr. Souichi stepped in.
"Kusama-san."
Nowaki looked up and felt his stomach clench at the serious expression on the physician's face.
"Yes?"
"The results of the C.A.T. scan shows Kamijou-san's appendix has ruptured." Dr. Souichi's tone was grave.
"They're prepping him for emergency surgery right now."
"So it's not the other?" despite how serious Hiroki's situation was, Nowaki felt a huge wave of relief wash over him.
"Yes," Dr. Souichi nodded.
He looked at Nowaki and a slight frown came over his face.
"I'm sorry if I caused you undue worry and I know it is difficult to be open about such things. I suppose I am just a bit sensitive about such matters as my own son died from just such an infection."
Nowaki's eyes widened.
"I'm so sorry Dr. Souichi-san," he said softly.
"Well, he was young and he and a lover were experimenting, apparently…"
Dr. Souichi cast his eyes down at the chart he held in his hand.
"Even after he knew he was injured he didn't seek medical treatment because he was too embarrassed. He just kept getting worse.
"When he did finally go in he told the doctor he'd fallen off a ladder and impaled himself on a broom handle, of all things."* Souichi shook his head.
"Not that the doctor believed it for an instant."
The older physician looked up at Nowaki and his eyes were filled with remorse.
"Unfortunately I didn't know until after he died what had really happened.
"He kept that part of his life from me.
"I have no doubt he was worried that I wouldn't approve. I suppose seeing the two of you together triggered that memory."
"I appreciate your thoroughness, Souichi-sensei, and I am sure that Hiro-san would too.
"I mean what if it hadn't been his appendix? I imagine many physicians would have overlooked such a possibility," Nowaki offered kindly.
Dr. Souichi looked carefully at Nowaki.
"I hope by the time you finish your internship you have managed to retain this excellent bedside manner of yours, Kusama-san."
Nowaki offered the doctor a wan smile. His mind now filled with worry about the surgery. "Do you have any idea how long ago Kamijou-san's appendix might have ruptured, Sensei?"
"Hard to say. The surgeon might do better at ascertaining a relative time frame once he gets in there. Now you said he mentioned feeling better a little while earlier?"
"Yes." Nowaki nodded.
"Well, it's not uncommon when the appendix initially bursts for the patient to experience a period of relief from the pressure of the enflamed organ." Souichi offered.
"If we're lucky, and it happened that recently, hopefully they can get Kamijou-san cleaned out before something really serious takes hold.
"Given his response and the rigidity of his abdomen, however, my suspicion is still that Kamijou-san has acute peritonitis already and that the infection had already set in some time earlier."
"He's going to be okay though. Right?"
It was an automatic response although Nowaki already knew the answer to his own question.
"I know they'll do everything they can, there are a lot of variables," Dr. Souichi solemnly.
"You should know already, Kusama-san, there are no guarantees of anything in this life."
After a few more minutes of discussion the doctor left and a nurse came and told Nowaki that they needed the room for another patient.
Nowaki nodded and headed to the surgery's waiting room. It was there that he finally called Hiroki's mother.
One hour later he was standing at the hospital's South entrance waiting for the lady Kamijou to arrive.
Dear All, I know that this chapter was a lot of reflection.I tend to do this a lot in my fics, but I always wanted to try and figure out why Nowaki wouldn't tell Hiro-san he was leaving again.
Though my dear Egoist scholar, "X" has given me a theory since that offers a lot of merit.
She asserts that Nowaki didn't ask because it would look like he was requesting permission as someone younger. And that Nowaki might have thought he needed to do this on his own to show Hiroki he was an adult.
I have also thought since that this could also be an extension of his "stray cat" tendency. As Hiroki seemed to indicate earlier on in their relationship it was not uncommon for Nowaki to just up and disappear for days on end with no explanation.
Any of you have additional thoughts? I am curious.
Also, I hope you all weren't too disappointed it wasn't an anal perforation. I had actually always planned for it to be Hiroki's appendix that was causing him the problem. I just had to add that extra bit for effect (and education).
* This was an actual account given by a patient of Dr. Goldstone's. Fortunately in that case the young man survived.
Thanks to: Huishan .lee12, bleachfangirl7, Lizzy'-'rocks, Six Tales, Lakeofstars, and Hikari Kaiya for all the Follows and Favorites!
And to my lovely reviewers:
Deathday1313- Yes, it's so fun getting to invent all these little bits about my favorite couple. So glad you're enjoying the story.
Hey X- Yes... Hiroshima. I have been thinking about it of late. I learned recently that a nuclear plant not 60 miles from where I live contributed material to the bombs that were dropped there and at Nagasaki. Shook me up quite a bit.
FujoshiNinjaNumber6- thankfully you only have one appendix so you can't ever walk down that particular road again. Heh. And yes, the "a" name listing is something I have used myself.
Asdfghjklove- glad you liked my little educational note. And now you know why he was not judgmental. It is funny how one's perceptions shift when yuo actually know someone personally that belongs to a marginalized group. I know this myself from my own family's shifts (well most of them, anyway.)
Loopyhutton- thank you!
AnimeWolf524- thank you for the support on the lube call. Now if we could just get rid of the "three finger" convention and that blasted "scissoring" thing, I would be content. I wish people would realize, even though this is yaoi, an ass is not a vagina. Sigh.
Hiyokocchi- Glad you're enjoying this fic so much!
Kitkat3195- I am so sorry you have an understanding of Hiroki's pain. Glad you never apparently had to deal with the peritonitis aspect. And yes, Hiroki is too cute... Nowaki is right in that.
Wragziez- well I thank you, my dear, for leaving a thought on the last chapter. I know how you feel, I am not as good a reviewer as I should be myself.