True Love Way

Chapter 26

Bella insisted that she was all right - she was feeling better after our talk. I didn't want to call her a liar, but I knew it wasn't true. I also knew that my lifelong practice of pretending I was all right never came of more use. It was one thing to have loved my brother's high school girlfriend, and to have a relationship with her ten years after the fact...but to be the very next guy? Would she always be comparing us, even in her mind? I now understood how Jasper had felt when she used to tell him to be more like me. It had to have stung like a bitch. How would I ever make it through the first time with Bella with that on my mind?

It's not like I was hoping she'd been with dozens of men, but one other than my brother would have been nice. Then again, maybe that one would have stolen her heart from me and we wouldn't be here now. What the hell was Aro thinking when he told her to reveal that to me? Nevermind me; this wasn't good for Bella. I dreamt I found her in bed with Aro. Not the prettiest image, for sure. And definitely not the night of restful sleep I needed for driving again all day.

I was awake before Bella, so I left her a note before heading out to pick up some breakfast for us. I took the opportunity to drop Aro a text message. It was still weighing heavily on my mind, and I wouldn't be able to move past this until I spoke with him. I was returning to the car with the pastries and drinks I'd purchased when he called me back.

"Good morning, Edward! Delightful to hear from you – even at this time of the morning."

Without the visual, I couldn't tell if Aro was being sarcastic. Fuck it. I didn't apologise for waking him. "That was one breakthrough session you had with Bella. Jesus, you must have covered more with her in one evening than all of your sessions with me."

"Well, she is a tad more forthcoming than you, my dear boy. Plus, we had the opportunity to chat a bit after the memorial service and whatnot. Just think how far you and I would have gotten if you didn't spend so much time bottling up your feelings. It pleases me to see you no longer do that. You're quite upset with me this morning."

Breakfast set on the roof of the Volvo, I began pacing beside it. He was doing the I-know-you-better-than-you-know-yourself bit, and it was pissing me off.

"Can you talk to me, Edward? Did something happen to Bella? Is she all right?"

"How...she's...why on earth would you tell her –"

"I didn't tell her anything, my boy. What you and I discussed all those years ago stays with us. Likewise, what Bella confided in me –"

"I'm not asking if you told her shit from my sessions!" I spit out angrily. "I'm more concerned about what you filled her head with! I never should have called you in. I was on my way to take care of her. I would've –"

I pounded my fist against the hood of a car pulling into a spot next to mine – the spot I was currently pacing in. "There's twenty other spaces! You couldn't choose one of them?" The intruder backed out instantly and left the lot altogether. "Thank you!" I hollered after him.

"You would have what, Edward? What would you have done with Bella once you arrived?" Aro ignored my little outburst and simply carried on calmly. Fucker. The calmness that remained in his voice irritated me to no end.

"I would have done what I always do – put her first."

"And now...? What is it, Edward? What has you so angry with me?"

"She's a wreck!"

"Not my doing. And not yours either," he reminded me.

"What did you say to her?"

"As I've already stated, I will not tell you what Bella confided in me."

"That's not what I asked! I'm asking what you told her to do."

"As you know, I'm not in the habit of telling people to do anything. I'm not a control freak. "

I sighed heavily in utter frustration. "What did you suggest, then?"

"Ah, better –"

"Look, Aro, I don't have time to play word games. Why did you suggest that she tell me everything now?"

There was silence from Aro. In my mind, I saw him staring blankly ahead, hands folded under his chin – his pose whenever I'd stumped him. "She's dealing with an awful lot right now."

"Exactly my point! It's too much to ask her to deal with all the shit in the past as well as the current issues."

"What would you have done differently, Edward? How would you have preferred the past days to have gone?"

Now I was stumped. Damn him. "I...I don't know."

"I'm in a precarious situation here. I've never had the privilege of knowing both parties in a relationship so well."

"You just met Bella," I reminded him forcefully. He couldn't sit there and act as though he knew her better than I did. No one knew her better...except maybe Gran.

"True, true. I have a gift, so to speak. I am able to derive a very keen sense of a person in quite a brief amount of time. Now, you want to know why I encouraged her to tell you about what, exactly? Isn't the truth better than assumption? Particularly when one doesn't have the ability to read others' minds?"

Damn Aro and his knack of always being fucking right. I sighed as I slumped against the car. "Particularly when one's self-worth is shit. Is that what you're saying?"

He chuckled amicably. "Let's not play word games. That's precisely what I'm saying. I didn't reveal the feelings you had for her. I merely offered an opinion that Bella would not be putting herself out there for nothing if she were to tell you how she felt about your relationship. She was feeling quite vulnerable."

"Exactly why I think she should be focusing on the future rather than the past."

"Does she know you love her?" he asked bluntly.

"She does now," I confessed. "I was working up to that. I don't want her thinking this is all about living out a childhood fantasy. I love her today. If I'd just met her, I would be in love her." I paused, deciding whether or not to reveal even more of myself to this man. Before I could work it out, words were spilling from my mouth. "I want this to be a healthy love. She deserves that."

"So. Do. You." Aro enunciated each word for me to cut through my thick skull.

"Don't you think the way I was going about it – building up to the normal point in a relationship where it's appropriate to talk about love and a future together – isn't that better than fucking around with the mess we made in the past?"

"What do I think? It's merely an opinion, but it is based on experience and vast knowledge on the subject. Do you really want to know?"

I glanced at my watch, aware that I'd been gone from our room much longer than I'd anticipated. "Just give it to me. I have to get back to her."

"Guilt is a wretched, vile monster, Edward. It destroys relationships, self-worth...your very soul. When I met the lovely Miss Swan, I knew instantly why you cared for her as you did. She has a unique way of seeing through bullshit, and an endearing way of looking at people without judgement. It's refreshing. I know she would have seen you as I did all those years ago. How could she not have cared deeply for you?" His voice softened with his statement. "Spending hours with her pouring out her heart, I had an epiphany."

"Go on," I encouraged with a huff. As much as I agreed with his assessment of Bella, he wasn't telling me anything new.

"I never thought I'd meet another person who held themselves accountable for as much utter crap as you do. But alas, one exists. If she is not your soul mate, my dear Edward, then there is no such thing."

I wished I'd had the foresight to get in the car – to be seated somewhere. My legs trembled as my chest tightened and airways constricted. It's exactly what I had said to her last night. I was half-joking then. Hearing this come from Aro made ice run through my veins. The thought of Bella actually feeling the same level of guilt I'd carried was torturous.

"It's true, Edward," Aro assured me gently. "I feel it's time for both of you to get on with it before the monsters inside destroy you."

"I didn't know," I admitted in a whisper. "I thought this was just... I don't know... a breakdown."

"Oh, don't get me wrong; that's exactly what's happening. Edward, you are alike, but also very different. The recent events have stirred the pot for Bella, so to speak. It's like every little thing she's ever felt bad about is compounded into this one huge… I'm reluctant to say breakdown. It's more of a breakout for her. See, Edward, where you've outgrown your penchant for lading yourself with a world of guilt, Bella's just adopted that. For her, it's temporary. That's what I meant when I told you she'd come of out this in time."

I could feel the muscles in my neck loosening, and a tiny grin broke out. "She hasn't always felt this way?"

"No, no. Heavens, no. Edward, she is exactly the girl you thought she was underneath all of this. Is that what you were worried about? That you didn't know her as well as you thought?"

"How the fuck do you do that?" I laughed. "It's like you know what I'm thinking even when I don't."

"Ah, Edward. I'm going to let you in on a secret. I'm actually a mythical creature. You only see my human form, but truly, I'm quite remarkable."

I was grinning from ear to ear. "Why don't I doubt that? You've still got much to teach me, don't you Aro? I never knew."

"Now you know." I could picture him leaning back in his hair. Hands looped behind his head, feeling self-satisfied. I didn't feel angry about that. He deserved to feel that way. "So what do you intend to do now, Edward?"

"Carry on with my plan, I suppose. Take care of her. Love her. Let her know every day how much she's treasured."

He hummed in approval. "If you need any further guidance – either of you, or both – I'm always here for you. You can call me up full of piss and vinegar at any time of day or night. I'll field your anger, gladly."

"Thank you, Aro," I said softly. "For everything."

"One more thing... I have no doubt that, whatever you do, it will be the right thing for Bella. Promise me you'll take yourself into consideration as well. You will get through all of this if you truly believe you should be together, and I think you do. I feel like we had a breakthrough, you and I. You finally have faith in yourself. When the day comes that you finally believe in yourself as much as I do and that lovely young lady of yours, I hope I'm lucky enough to be around. Be well."

He disconnected before I could say anymore. Before I could ask if that meant I shouldn't concern myself with trying to outdo my brother, or if it was selfish and petty even worrying about my performance in bed. Before I could tell him his guidance and faith in me had made me the man I had become.

~ 0 ~

Bella was out of bed when I returned. "I brought breakfast," I called through the bathroom door.

She emerged, cinching her robe firmly. Her eyes were red and swollen from recent tears. Despite this, she smiled for me. "Every time I see you, it's like you've resuscitated me. I can breathe again."

I set our food and drinks down and embraced her. "Sorry I was gone so long."

"Needed some space, huh? Edward, if I get to be too much for you –"

"Never," I vowed firmly. "I'm with you through everything, Bella. Everything." I placed a light kiss on her lips. "Is there anything I can do for you right now?"

She smiled at me shyly. "It's the milk issue. I know you would help if you could. Um, Edward...about last night...I'm sorry I did that to you. It was really random and embarrassing after the fact."

I quirked an eyebrow in question.

"The shower...scene...situation...thingy. You know."

"Not a problem." I grinned broadly. "I like random."

It was her turn to shoot me a questioning look. "Yeah? You seemed a little freaked out. And then this morning –"

Groaning, I shook my head at her. "Bella, I was hungry. And I wanted to make a phone call without waking you. That's all. You just surprised me last night. Aside from a left breast and the odd peek at a butt cheek when you're sleeping, I've never seen you naked. It's quite spectacular."

The rosy cheeks that I loved so much appeared. "I have scars and rolls," she told me.

Reaching for her hands, I held them in mine. "Funny, that's not what I saw at all."

Her smile grew as her ears glowed along with her cheeks. "Good thing you're half blind then."

"Remind me to take my glasses in with me in the future. I want a good look. Of course, then you won't want to come in with me."

"You're hot in glasses. Seriously sexy." There was no hint of teasing like her previous statement. "Edward? Has no one ever told you that?"

I shook my head.

"Hmm. Good, then let me be the first to tell you – you're incredibly hot, in anything. Or out of anything. I guess I'm just fond of the glasses because you always wore them when I first fell for you."

"I wore a few dozen donuts around my waist, too. Should I put those back on?"

She shrugged before grabbing onto my shirt. "I couldn't care less as long as you're healthy and happy."

There's this old cliché: love is blind. I suppose it's true, because I never did see Bella's scars, except to examine them for infection out of concern. Maybe she really didn't ever see me as I saw myself. Maybe she did love me just as much as I loved her.

~ 0 ~

"Do you think Rosalie will hate me for letting Nathan's milk dry up this way?"

An image of Rosalie offering to give Nathan back to us flashed through my mind. "No, Bella. I know she'll understand."

"Will he still be healthy? On formula?"

I huffed. "What the hell do I know about babies? You should ask my mom if you're really concerned. Maybe she has some tips for getting your… uh… you know, getting things flowing again. If that's what you want."

She hummed softly, leaning her head back against the seat in the car. "I should talk to her about it. I've missed her. It was really nice having her around after Nathan was born."

"We could stop in on the way home," I suggested. The topic had popped up at the perfect time since when we'd last stopped for gas, I checked my messages and found a rather frantic one from my mother. "I should warn you. Someone let the cat out of the bag. My mother knows I came down to get you."

"She knows I've gone crazy. Is that what you're saying?"

I made a show of rolling my eyes without taking them completely off the road. We were going a little faster than we should be and I didn't want to lose control. "You're not crazy, and no one thinks you are."

"Tanya does. She's quite pissed at me for giving away 'my baby', or whatever. She hated my haircut, too."

I snorted out a quick chuckle. "She's a teenager. Isn't she supposed to hate everything and be angry at everyone and think she knows best overall? You did what you felt was right, Bella. And your hair will grow."

"You hate it too," she accused teasingly.

I shrugged. "It'll grow." The slap I received felt good. It didn't sting like the bare-assed one, and I loved Bella in a playful mood. "So, we'll stop in Forks? I'm sure Charlie will be happy to see you, as well." I reached over and clasped her hand with one of mine as we cruised up the coastal highway on the way home.

"I'd like to make another stop on the way, if you don't mind."

"Sure. A little mountain climbing maybe?"

"Ummm, give me another couple of weeks." She giggled, snuggling into the seat sideways. "I was thinking more along the lines of Seattle."

"Coffee? Space Needle?"

"Jasper and Alice."

I quirked an eyebrow at her as I gripped the steering wheel. "Do you think now is the right time?" I was concerned about her becoming completely overwrought if she confronted all of her self-imposed guilt right now.

"I actually do. There's something I need to do, and I think I'll feel a whole lot better about it once I start."

She filled me in on her plan and I had to admit, it made me feel pretty good too. "So, Seattle, then Forks. Then home."

"Yeah." I could tell she was smiling. "Yeah, that sounds great. The closer we get to home, the better I feel."

~ 0 ~

Ringing the doorbell outside my brother's house, I suddenly wished we had called ahead. We had decided against stopping over another night, opting instead to get working on Bella's plan. It was only eight o'clock, but I had a sudden concern that they'd gone to bed early. It was taking a long time for anyone to get to the door.

"Nice house," Bella whispered beside me.

I nodded. "They've done pretty well for themselves." I was about to crack a joke about their house fitting inside one wing of the house Bella inherited in Phoenix when the door flew open and we were deafened with a squeal before being pounced on.

"Hi, Alice," I said in a four-way hug. I glanced down at little Emily in her arms. She had to be squished between the three of us adults, but she didn't look distraught. "Hope we're not intruding."

"Oh my god! I'm so glad you're here! You have no idea how worried we've been. Jasper wouldn't let me call. He says I go a bit overboard in these situations."

Recalling the awkward Thanksgiving weekend where she tried to involve herself completely in my life, I had to agree with my brother. Alice did go overboard from time to time, but she was learning that she didn't have to. She was family, in all ways: my sister-in-law, and Emmett's little sister. She couldn't be more 'family' if she tried.

She chewed on her bottom lip as she turned to Bella. I could tell she was forcing herself not to cry. "Bellaaaa!" she croaked out. "Oh, honey. I just want to hug you." She stood there – all five feet of her – eyes pleading with Bella to let her in. "Can I?"

Bella pulled an awkward face but smiled as she nodded her head. "Uh, yeah. Hi." She locked eyes with me over Alice's shoulder as she tried not to laugh uncomfortably. Emily finally squawked about being stuck in the middle of a new and much tighter hug. When Alice hugged, she hugged. "I think we're squishing your baby," Bella announced, easing out of her grip. "Hi, Emily. Remember us?"

"Of course she does!" Alice beamed, holding her daughter with one arm while wiping her tears away with her free hand. "Come in, come in. Jazz is working late. I'm going to call him and tell him to get his butt home!"

"Oh, we don't want to disturb him. We can wait." Bella looked nervous as we stepped inside.

"We can find a place to crash for the night and come back in the morning," I suggested.

Alice looked offended. "Why wouldn't you stay here?"

Because you're married to my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, who happens to be my brother? I realized I was getting better at not blurting when instead, I said, "We're being rude just dropping in unannounced."

Alice scoffed at me and gave us a shove towards the living room. While she allowed Bella to select her own seat and sit at will, she ushered me to the cushion next to Bella and pushed on my shoulder to take a seat. "Watch Emily. I'm going to go call Jazz. He'll be so excited!"

"Not as excited as we are here!" I stage whispered with Alice's enthusiasm as she swept from the room.

Bella chuckled quietly as she gazed at the baby on my lap. "She's getting big. She looks just like her mom."

"Lucky for her she didn't inherit Jasper's hairy ass. That we know of."

Giving me a disapproving frown and head-shake, Bella turned her attention to Emily. "You have your mommy's pretty hair. And her eyes."

Emily proceeded to place her hands on her own head.

"Yes, that's right!" Bella smiled at her. "That's your pretty hair. Mine is a mess. A disaster." She pulled the elastic loose and let her shortened hair down. I had only seen it down, wet. It looked shorter at the sides now. And… not Bella-ish at all. "This is what we call a mullet," she enunciated in the way that people speak to small children. "Don't ever let anyone talk you into this haircut, Emily."

I couldn't help but laugh. With the sides sweeping her chin, but the back resting below her shoulders, it was definitely a mullet.

"Tell Uncle Edward it's rude to laugh at a lady's mullet," Bella said with a smirk.

Emily grunted and flapped her arms. I tightened my grip so she wouldn't fall, but that seemed to elicit more grunting and frantic movement as she squirmed her way out of my arms. With her feet on the floor, she stood before me, banging on my knees. She looked much happier this way.

"She's standing!" Bella beamed. I shrugged, unimpressed.

"Shouldn't she be standing?"

"I don't know."

"She has teeth," I offered in defense of my position.

"What do teeth have to do with standing?" She cracked up as I did. We were a child-ignorant pair, for sure. We stopped laughing, both issuing a groan of surprise when Emily dropped to her butt on the floor. Our mouths then hung open as she proceeded to scurry around the room, in Excitable Alice fashion. She wasn't exactly walking, nor was she crawling. Her feet were on the floor, but so were her hands. It was the funniest shit I'd ever seen.

"Jazz is just finishing with a client. He'll be home as quick as he can. What's so funny?"

We turned to look at Alice, silencing our amusement.

"Oh, Emily's showing off for you! This is her newest thing. Isn't it great?"

Bella turned away, looking in pain as she stifled her laughter. I didn't have as much success. "Alice, what the hell is that?" I barked out a laugh. "Did you teach her that? She walks like an ape."

"My. Daughter. Is. Not. An. Ape." Alice accentuated each word with a slap to my shoulders as I bent over in a fit of laughter.

"You're right, Bella! She looks just like her mom!" I teased as Alice let me have it some more.

The whole scene amused Emily to no end. She took a seat on the floor and watched us with glee. One glance at Bella told me she approved of my relationship with Alice – it was nothing like the one we'd had, but instead the sort siblings share.

"Why don't you teach her then, Mr. Ed? You'd look like a horse crawling around with those long arms of yours. They could be pony legs."

"Better to be a horse than Magilla Gorilla."

We spent the next half hour crawling around with Emily, making varying ape noises and horse neighs, keeping Bella in stitches from her seat on the couch. It was good for her to see the side of Alice that Jasper was drawn to. It wasn't that Alice was better than Bella, but she was better for Jasper.

"At least she doesn't smell ape-like," I commented when Emily sat on my chest as I stretched out on the floor.

"She just had her bath," Alice smiled. Proud Momma was back, replacing silly ape. "Rosalie picked those pj's out. Aren't they cute?"

"They're fuzzy," I acknowledged. What did I know about baby clothes?

"I found some fabric that's just like it. It makes the most adorable dolls. It's her favourite. Right, Emily?" Alice produced the referenced doll – from where, I had no idea. But Emily's face lit up, and she ape-walked over to pluck it from her mom. "I started a business! Did Jazz tell you? Online! I've already sold a few dozen. I'm so excited! I always thought I wasn't artistic at all. I was wrong! If I can find some fabric that isn't pink, I'll make one for Nathan, too."

"Yeah… about that…" I scratched at my hair as I sat up. I figured now was the time to let her know Nathan's doll had been abducted and get Emmett off the hook. "Um, Nathan's a really good sharer."

Alice popped up an eyebrow. "Is he? Incredible at six weeks."

"Five," I corrected.

"Five," Alice repeated.

"Yeah. Um, so our puppy is really fond of it –"

"Don Everly likes it?" Instead of being upset, Alice seemed impressed by the news.

"He loves that thing, Alice. You wouldn't believe him with it."

Bella sat forward as Emily stood herself up and plopped the doll on her lap. "This is a pretty doll, Emily. So soft." She rubbed it against her cheek and then Emily's. "Maybe you could expand your business, Alice. Go into pet toys as well."

"Oh. My. God! That's brilliant!" And Alice was on her feet in a flash. The next thing I knew, a laptop was set on the table in front of Bella, and Alice jabbered on about her website. Bella seemed genuinely interested, and I was enjoying watching them interact. They would be okay together. There was no weirdness lingering anymore. Still, I wished my brother would hurry so we could get on with this. If we wrapped it up early enough, we were going to stay the night at Charlie's.

Just as I got in a comfort zone with the two of them together, Alice regressed. She took a sudden interest in Bella's hair. She hadn't noticed my sister-in-laws overt stares yet, but I had. I had a feeling this wouldn't be good.

"Oh. Honey. What happened?" There were actual tears in her eyes as she reached out to touch a lock of Bella's hair.

Her head popped up and she froze at the contact. "Oh. Yeah. Pretty awful huh? Never cut your hair on a whim, at the suggestion of someone else."

Yep, actual tears. "I'm sooooo sorry!"

"Alice! Christ, it's just a haircut. It's not the end of the world. It'll grow back." I decided to take the offense and defend my girl's honour… or at least her hair.

"You're such a guy!" She scowled my way before turning back to Bella. "He doesn't understand, honey. But I do. I did the stupidest thing in high school oh my god."

Any time Alice finished up a sentence with 'oh my god', without hesitation, it meant the beginning of a ramble. I tucked my knees to my chest and dropped my head onto them.

"My mom was on my case, all the time, about being a tomboy. Just because I followed Emmett around, and didn't have big bosoms didn't mean I was a tomboy, y'know? I mean, my mom has these gigantic friggin' boobs that supposedly make her a 'real woman' or whatever. Whatever, right? Just because we're smaller busted doesn't mean we're not as feminine."

I groaned. Then peeked out to check on Bella. She was looking surprised, but I could tell she was supressing a grin. "Your mother is large-breasted, is she?"

"Oh my god! Tell her Edward."

What the fuck? "She is? I hadn't noticed."

"Right. Ooookay." Alice huffed. "You're a guy. Don't tell me you've never noticed her bosoms. Guys get all stupid around her. It's nasty."

Bella was looking my way, across from Alice. Since her back was to me, I mouthed 'huge' as I held my hands out in front of my chest to hold imaginary melons. "I really couldn't say."

"Well anyway, I got so sick of being called a tomboy, I went and got my hair cut super short just to make her mad. If I was going to be labelled, I wanted to look the part." She tittered at her own act of rebellion. "It was the worst mistake, ever! I have sideburns!"

I was ready to lose it, and I could tell Bella was holding back as well.

"Side. Burns. Ohmygod. They curled down my cheeks. I looked like a drag queen version of Betty Boop, without the boobs."

That was it for me. Alice took Emily to get her into bed since I was out of control. I laughed until my sides hurt. I was still drying my eyes when she returned.

"Edward is… sorry, Alice," Bella announced for me. "He's really tired. He's over-tired. He giggles like a school girl when he's this tired. Really."

She shrugged like it was nothing new. It really wasn't. She was used to me laughing at her. "Anyhoooo. We can fix that for you. Your hair. Not his giggling. There is no help for a man who giggles."

I would have picked it up again if I weren't so frightened over the concept of Alice doing something else to Bella's hair. What more could this poor woman handle?

"It'll grow," Bella protested. "It grows. Really fast."

"My friend Leah is super with fixing mistakes. I swear. Stay over and I'll take you to her in the morning. She'll make it look awesome, I promise you."

Bella looked as uncomfortable as I felt. "Alice," I pleaded softly. "You're kind of being… Alice."

"Too much?" she asked with her big doe eyes turning glossy once more. "I'm sorry. Bella, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so… Alice. It's not you, well it is in a way, but not really. I'm just like this when I'm nervous. I start talking a lot and none of it makes sense and I know I do it but I can't stop. It's like, if there's silence, it's even worse, but I know I need to shut up so then I think of how I can help because I really, really want to help you, Bella. God! I'm doing it again! I just butt in where I'm not wanted. Just ask Edward, he knows. I've done so many harebrained things to him and it's only because I love him. I mean, I don't love him in the sense that you do. I don't want to like, be with him or anything 'cause that would just be…" She actually paused her rapid-fire speech to shudder.

"Thanks, Alice," I smirked. "Makes me feel oh so special."

"I don't mean you're gross, just me with you would be gross."

"Agreed!" Absolutely no argument there. "Alice, just calm down. You don't have to be nervous. It's just me. And Bella. I thought we'd passed this weird phase. Didn't we get past that?"

She nodded, taking deep breaths. "It's just… I want to help. I can't stand seeing someone close suffering in any way. I guess your hair is the last thing you're worried about, right?" She focused on Bella again.

"It is a mess," Bella said to console her. "Normally, I'd love to meet your friend, Leah. And yeah, I'd totally love to get rid of this hair style. But right now? Not so good. We've still got to see my dad, and Esme and Carlisle on the way through. Rose and Emmett have been watching Don Everly for us and we really should let them get their lives back. This is just a fly-by visit. This time."

I didn't think it was possible for Alice's eyes to appear larger than usual, but they did. She seemed to stop blinking as well. "You're doing family visits," she stated. "And we're your first stop." Her hands waved around frantically as she let out a silenced squeal. "I know you're really here to see Jazz, but it just makes me so happy –"

"No, not just Jazz –" Bella attempted to cut her off, but wasn't entirely successful.

"– to be part of this family. And to have you all think of me as family. That's all I want. I can calm down now."

I squinted at her in doubt. "Can you?"

"I swear."

"Because you've been family a long time, Alice. This isn't new."

"But Bella –"

Bella stepped up and took hold of Alice's flailing wrists. "I know exactly how you feel. I wanted nothing more than to be part of this family from the moment I met them. They've always treated me… like one of them. Even now. Even after I pushed every one of them away. I love them, with all my heart. And you're one of them, Alice." Bella's speech was muted and mellow but just as emotion-filled as Alice's outbursts. "Please don't be nervous with me. Just be Alice."

My sister-in-law's bottom lip quivered as she grinned. "If you need anything, Bella, I'm just a call away." They embraced before breaking to grin at each other some more. "Are you doing okay? Did it help having Edward there with you?"

"You have no idea." Bella chuckled as she glanced at me. Her cheeks took on a pink hue. "I don't think I'll ever fly again."

"That's okay. That's perfectly understandable. I know a lot of people develop intense phobias after a trauma. But you don't have to fly."

I loved Alice for trying to make her feel better, but she really had no idea of all that Bella was going through. While the women seemed to have reached a new understanding, I was getting more on edge by the second, just waiting for Alice to say the wrong thing and upset Bella's emotional balance. She'd been doing so well since she'd shared her thoughts with me.

"It's more than the flight phobia, I'm afraid," Bella admitted, to my surprise. "There's been a lot of change. I'm just having a little trouble adapting to it all. I kind of freaked out in the airport because I was alone – but I wasn't." She shook her head, laughing softly at herself. "Gran was with me. I know, crazy, right? I was sitting there in the airport, and this woman passed by. She was wearing the same perfume Gran used. It made me think of her. Then this gust of cold air swept by, like someone opened a door. But that wasn't it. I felt like I'd turned to stone. Everyone around me seemed to disappear. They didn't exist. It was only me, and it was so cold and still."

This was the first time Bella had spoken of the airport ordeal in my presence. It amazed me that she was being so open with Alice, sharing something so personal.

"My ears seemed to plug up, you know, like how it gets when you're taking off or landing? There was this pressure and a bright light as I was walking down the boarding ramp. So bright. Even closing my eyes didn't help. It's like the light was in my mind. And then she was with me – Gran. Not there, in Phoenix. I was back on the plane in Washington… with Gianna and Marcus." Her voice trembled slightly, but she pressed on. "And I was falling. And they were gone. Just… gone. The light turned warm, and it didn't hurt my eyes anymore. It felt good. It felt like a hug from Gran. But she didn't want me. She was almost… angry with me. She told me to get my arse back to where I belonged. It wasn't my time."

Alice had a steady stream of tears rolling down her cheeks as she listened to Bella's tale. Their hands were clasped together, and I saw Alice giving her reassuring squeezes as she related what had happened in the airport.

"That was the first time I had any conscious memory of the crash. I guess that's when the panic attack started. Gran disappeared along with the memory… and the light. The airport noises returned, and they seemed unbearably loud. I couldn't breathe, and people stared as I struggled to get some air. My legs were like rubber when I tried to turn back. I actually fell over. People tried to help, but I pushed them away and stumbled along, trying to find a place to just disappear. I couldn't seem to get enough air anywhere. I finally caught my breath when I called Edward and heard his voice. That's when I started crying, and I swear, I haven't stopped for days."

"You're doing so well." Alice looked at her in amazement. "Unbelievably well. I could never make it through all that. I fold with a bad haircut."

I snickered at her. It was either that or let myself cry. I opted to be a manly man and firmed up my jaw as I bent to give Alice a hug. "That's a lie, Little One. You're very durable. And adaptable. And sweet." I flicked a tear off the tip of her nose. "And full of snot that is so disgusting I can't bear to be near you right now."

As expected, she shoved me away and ran for tissues. That left me with Bella. Just as I wanted.

"I'm sorry you went through that alone," I said softly.

She shook her head as she reached out her hand for mine. "I wasn't alone. I had Gran. And now you. That's what she meant, you know. I know that now. She wanted me to find you, and be with you. It's where I belong."

So much for Edward the manly man not crying. Alice didn't even tease me about it; she simply passed me a tissue and said, "Blow." Yeah, I was becoming fonder of Alice by the minute.

"Anyway…" Bella dragged out the word as she wiped her own nose. "Back to why we're here. I'm leaving Phoenix for good. Washington is my home now, and I don't ever want to go back. But I've been left with Marcus and Gianna's estate. A house. Property. A car. Money." Bella shook her head like she still didn't believe it. "I need to take care of things, and I won't feel better about it until I get it all underway. That's why we barged in on you this way. Alice, I want to give Emily the same trust fund Nathan has."

Surprised that she announced her intention before Jasper had joined us, I watched Alice for her reaction. She simply smiled sweetly.

"Honey, no! That's Nathan's birthright. We would never take that from him."

She didn't understand.

"Oh, it's not taking a thing from Nathan. His fund was set up before his birth, and his parents' death. I'd like to set up the same thing for Emily, so they start off equally and have the same opportunities."

Alice's interest was piqued. "Like an education fund?"

"That's part of it, sure."

"And it wouldn't take anything from Nathan?"

Bella shook her head, grinning. "Not a thing. I'd like to invest in your business, too. If you'd be all right with that?"

I laughed as Alice's eyes widened in shock. "You'd have to be a silent partner, because you'd never get a word in working with this one anyway," I said jokingly.

"My… business?"

"Your dolls. I'd like to fund the expansion into pet toys."

"Alice, is the wheel spinning in there?" I tapped on the top of her head to break her out of her daze.

She scowled at me, but then smiled at Bella. "You want to be partners with me?"

"I wouldn't be intrusive. You'd have the same control you do now, only you'd have more money."

"You'd be my partner! Bella, I would love that!"

I saw Bella's bottom lip disappear as she bit down on it. "I really meant it to be more of a donation. I don't know anything about running a business or making dolls. Apparently I don't even know how to give money away." She chuckled nervously.

Alice eyed her curiously as she tipped her head to one side. "Tell me about the trust fund."

"Nathan's is set up with college in mind. He'd gain possession of it at eighteen. We could do the same for Emily. Or slightly different if you'd prefer. I'm sure Jazz would know the legalities of it all."

Alice nodded distractedly. "So it is a college fund."

"And more."

"How much are we talking about?"

I was quite curious myself. Bella hadn't discussed amounts, only that it was ridiculously extravagant and far too much as far as she was concerned.

"Enough to cover all college costs – wherever she'd like. And grad school. Probably a car. And her first apartment or whatever." Bella shrugged casually, but she looked faint. I noticed a slight tremble in her hands as she wrung them.

Mouth gaping, Alice issued a small squeak before she darted towards the phone.

"You're doing great," I whispered to Bella as I stood toe-to-toe with her. "We're almost done here, and then we're that much closer to home."

"Jazz, you really need to get your butt home… now! Emily's fairy godmother is here!"