True Love Way
Chapter 27
"Before we get to the matter at hand, there's something I have to say to Jasper."
The four of us were still standing by the front door after the flurry of excitement when my brother came home. Alice was stunned, but not speechless, and Jazz pulled his shit together and showed more concern towards Bella's well-being than I'd ever witnessed. Her plan to eliminate her new wealth had been going so well, I didn't foresee her roadblocking it herself. The look on her face told me she was dwelling on the past again.
"Edward and I can go get drinks," Alice said quietly. I looked to Bella for her say on it before I'd agree to leave her side.
Jasper acted first. "Personally, I'd rather you two stay to hear whatever Bella wants to say to me. I have a good 'fuck you' coming to me, I know. And Bella, I want you to know I fully deserve it. I'm s-"
"Shh!" Bella shook her head fervently. "Please don't. I need to say this, and I need you to forgive me. Or try to." She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. "Jazz, I'm sorry about that day."
He smiled at her, shaking his head. "Bella, you don't have to do this. It's all good."
"I was horrible to you on the phone. It wasn't right for me to lay all of that guilt on you and not let you respond. I shouldn't have told you that I didn't want you to come to Phoenix. And I should have picked up when you called back. We should have talked in person so you wouldn't have to tell me in an email. Jazz, I don't blame you for finding this love with Alice – I don't. It stung at the time, because you were right. You were right all along. You, and my mom. I did take advantage of your brother. And I hurt him. I hurt all of you. I'll probably never forgive myself, but I really hope you can find a way to forgive me."
Alice caught my eye, and I swear I could read her mind in those few seconds. Bella and Jazz had argued before he sent the email – about me. Jazz was looking out for me. Bella was the one who cancelled the trip down to see her, not him. For just a flash, I felt like shit for going off on him like I had. He wasn't the cold-hearted bastard I'd thought he'd been back then – not entirely. But then I let it go. I let the past lie there, where it belonged.
I grinned at Alice as Jasper reached out for Bella. "There is nothing to forgive," he told her softly. "We were kids. We both made mistakes. I don't regret our relationship, but I do regret the way we left things. I felt like I chased you from all of our lives, and that's never something I wanted. I've missed you. It's about time you took the spot you always should have had in this family. Ed's always been the one you should've had." He cupped her face, tilted her head back to look at him. "Forgive yourself. Everything has worked out just like it was meant to."
"Not exactly," Bella whispered, her lip trembling.
"Your friends," Jasper stated rather than asked. "Of course that should be different. I'm so sorry you lost them in the crash."
Bella smiled sadly, releasing a tiny snort. "Now you suddenly seem to grasp the concept of consoling a person."
Jasper gave a good chuckle. "Well, I've matured somewhat. And I've had a good role model in my big brother." He threw his arm around my shoulder as he planted a kiss on my cheek. I grimaced and wiped it off.
"Save it, man. I can't stand your slobbering. And what did you eat for dinner, anyway? You smell like seaweed."
"Sushi!" he announced with glee and a heavy release of breath in my direction. "And a wonderful cocktail of garlic shrimp."
I felt like I was turning green as even the thought of seafood after Charlie's fish fry had made me so ill. "Back off, Aquaman, or I'll hurl right here on your marble."
"It's ceramic," Alice corrected with a coy smirk. "It'll be marble when Jazz makes senior partner."
"It can be marble sooner than that." Bella was back on track and looking eager to proceed. "I was asking Alice about your thoughts on me setting up a trust fund for Emily."
"Emily wants a marble floor?" he cracked.
"I don't know. Smart-ass." Bella flashed her old teasing grin at him. We took our conversation out of the entryway, each couple sitting side by side. Together, Bella and I filled them in on her inheritance, and her thoughts on how to best put it to use.
She explained how she didn't want Nathan feeling any different from his cousin. If he was going to inherit a sizable trust fund, so should Emily.
"And I'd really like to help Alice get her project expanded. I want to donate the funds for that." Bella still insisted on being a donor rather than a partner.
Jasper spoke up. "Are you giving Emmett money for a business as well? You know, in the interest of keeping things even."
I could see this heading down the wrong path, but I wasn't able to stop Bella before she blurted out the rest.
"No, I don't think he's looking to start his own fire department. I am going to give them money to pay off their house though. Of course, to keep it even, I'd like to do that for you two...three...as well."
Alice squeaked once more before slapping a hand over her mouth. Jasper looked more reflective than shocked. "You don't have to do this, Bella. If this is about the past –"
"Jasper, one has nothing –"
"It's not!" Bella cried out as I began speaking. She stopped and looked to me to continue, silently pleading with me to make it right.
"Bella's not trying to buy her way into or out of anything. This inheritance is one hell of a constant reminder that her friends are gone. It's a heavy burden to carry around – trying to carry out their wishes without the benefit of their approval. Marcus and Gianna had no close family. Bella was the closest thing to a daughter they ever had. I think that they would know this is where Bella belongs – with this family. I think they would embrace all of us as her family."
"They would. They absolutely would," Bella agreed. She nudged me to go on.
"She's not merely giving their fortune to our family – this is just a portion of it."
Alice slapped a second hand over the first one still covering her mouth. She looked extremely uncomfortable.
"I had no idea how wealthy they were," Bella informed us. "I lived in their house –"
"Which is seriously museum-sized," I interjected.
"Which is extravagant," she said in agreement. "But I would have thought everything they had gone into their home. I was wrong. They didn't flaunt their wealth. Their lawyer explained to me that the bulk of it came from Gianna. Her parents had a winery in Italy. A very successful one. They left everything to her, their only child, when they were taken in a car accident. Aside from the house and the splurging on me, they didn't make a show of it. I'm continuing on with the donations they made regularly, in their honour. And I'd like to help out the people I care about before I make a final decision on what to do with the remainder. I can't sit on it like Gianna did. It hurts too much."
Jasper remained silent, his eyes cast downward as he took it all in. His wife removed one hand and then slowly took the second one away, testing to see if another unintelligible sound would come out. She perked up when nothing came.
"Gosh, they really loved you," she gushed. "I hope you don't think I'm being… too much with this, but I have to say that I think you're doing a wonderful thing. You've already given so much, and I'm not talking about money. Nathan… he's precious, and you know Rose and Emmett will love him every bit as much as your friends did. That was an amazing thing to do. I wouldn't have had the hutzpah to select new parents for him like you did. And then I would've doubted every little thing I did. I'd always wonder if I did the wrong thing – both for him and for his biological parents. I'd be afraid to change anything, or make any permanent choice, but not you. You decide and act, and you're so, so brave. I think it's because they must have had the same heart as you, y'know? Like, they looked at you like a daughter because they saw the pureness in your choices and actions. You were like-minded. On the same path in life, I guess. And they trusted you implicitly. I mean, it only makes sense if they willed everything to you.
"I'm not just saying this because I want my daughter to have that trust fund." Alice's brow scrunched up with worry. "I mean, I do, but I'm not kissing ass with this. I believe they trusted you to make the right decisions with everything. Look at what's happened already: My brother and Rose have their own beautiful little boy, and he has the most loving parents ever. You came through the accident and surgery and such a big loss, but it's not all bad. It led you here. It led you back to this family, back to Edward. It's like something beautiful is coming out of a great tragedy. Someone's watching out for you, and now they are too. It's like they're guiding you from beyond. Does that make any sense at all?"
It was our turn to stare at Alice in stunned silence. I almost squeaked myself. Never had I seen better evidence that she and Emmett were related. Sure, she was more excitable than her big brother, but they had the same way of spinning everything to come out positive.
Jasper took her hand and planted a kiss on it, beaming proudly at his wife. "Well said, darlin'. I wouldn't have known how to come out with that, but you did fabulously. I don't know what I believe in regards to the afterlife – I'm a lawyer. I need hard evidence." He threw out a smirk. "But I'm seeing only good coming to you lately. Surely you agree."
I glanced over at my girl to judge her thoughts on what we'd just heard. Her dark lashes were heavy and her cheeks dampened with tears. She looked deep in thought. And nervous. It made me nervous as well, because I didn't know if she could handle all of this being so emotionally fragile at the moment. It very well could add to her stress.
"Breathe, Edward," she said to me quietly, giving my hand a loving squeeze.
I couldn't believe she was aware of my lack of oxygen, but after all I'd learned in the recent days, it shouldn't have surprised me. It made me love her even more because she was just as attuned to me as I was to her. We stared into each other's eyes and slowly, the worry began to clear. There was a gleam in her eyes that tears weren't responsible for. The old Bella who just acted on what her heart told her was still in there, and she was gaining strength.
"I do agree." She addressed Jasper's question, still locking gazes with me. "And I hope you're right, Alice. I hope they can see what I'm doing down here, because I want them to know that Nathan is great. And I'm… going to be. I'm finally where I belong. I hope they can't see my mullet though."
In typical Bella fashion, she lightened the mood with one comical remark. Jasper and I cracked up, but Alice didn't see the humour. "Don't pay any attention to them. They're not laughing at your hair, but the situation."
Bella smiled warmly at her. "Alice, do you think your friend Leah has time to fix this?"
Gravity seemed to fail for Alice as she appeared to sail across the room, gripping Bella in an embrace. "I'll call her right now. She's going to love you."
~ 0 ~
Alice and Jasper were gracious hosts to us. We'd accepted their invitation to stay with them overnight, and the two of them prepared a large breakfast for us all in the morning. When Alice took Bella out to meet with Leah, I took care of cleaning up after the meal while Jasper tended to Emily.
"You did the right thing," Jasper proclaimed out the blue. "Going to Phoenix."
"Which time?" I quipped with a smirk.
"Both. If I hadn't been such a jealous pri… fool" – Jasper quickly corrected himself since Emily was in his arms – "I would've thanked you for taking care of Bella when she lost her grandmother. Of course, you would. It's not even a case of you being in love with her, it's just who you are. You take care of people. Especially those you love. I had no idea that Bella was still feeling bad about our argument. It really seemed like we'd both put all that in the past. It worries me. Is she keeping a lot of other stuff inside? You'd know best. Does she talk to you like she used to?"
I nodded, placing the last of the dishes in the machine. "She talked to Aro, as well. I think it was good for her. Jazz, if it helps, he doesn't seem to think that she's been wracked with guilt for the past decade. He feels it's all brought out by the events of the past year. Post-traumatic stress, I suppose. She's questioning a lot of her decisions – both recently and back then."
"She seems better this morning. More herself?"
I grinned in agreement. "Dude, it was weird sleeping with her in your house. Was it weird for you?"
He shrugged casually before nuzzling at his daughter's chubby cheek. "I figure it was probably weirder for you when we were across the hall from you in Mom and Dad's house." He followed my lead and laughed. "Listen, just forget about all of that. It was a lifetime ago. A high school thing. Try to think of her as only yours – I do."
"Deal." That statement put me at ease about any future family gatherings. From here on out, I vowed to not dwell on what was, but focus on what would be. "Thanks for agreeing to help Bella with the legalities of setting up Emily's trust fund. I know she doesn't want to go back to Phoenix to deal with Marcus' lawyer."
Jasper nodded. "Sure. She's better to have her own legal representation at this point. I don't want her paying me though. I mean, I have to charge a fee on the books to make it a legal transaction, but I don't want to accept payment for her giving my daughter a trust fund. That's still blowing my mind."
"Want what's left of your mind blown even more?" Bella and I had talked in the early hours of the morning, and she had acknowledged that Jasper seemed uncomfortable accepting money, just as I'd thought the previous evening. She asked me to broach the rest of it with him, sensing it would come better from me. "She'd like to give you and Alice the option of branching out – starting your own practice or whatever. If you'd like. You don't have to decide now. Discuss it with Alice and see what you come up with. Whatever you decide, Bella's setting aside funds to allow you to do that now, or in the future."
Emily was squirming on Jasper's lap, so he set her down. He appeared lost in thought. "I have a feeling it will hurt her if I don't accept this offer. Am I right?"
"Yup." It was true. Bella didn't want to be responsible for this large chunk of change, but she was uncomfortable doling it out as well.
"One thing…" Jasper stood to pour us each a cup of coffee. "I don't think I should represent her for all of this. I'll take care of the children's matters, but I think she should hand the rest of it over to someone impartial."
I accepted the cup he handed me and sipped on it. I hated speaking for Bella, but I knew it was helpful to her. "She doesn't want a stranger involved. Having to explain the circumstances of her inheriting all of this… It's too much."
"Understandable – Emily! Don't pull on Tinkle's tail that way. You know she doesn't like it." He quickly scooped her up to let their kitten escape her clutches. It amazed me that he could have a conversation like this with me and still watch his daughter so closely. "Sorry about that. I told Alice she was too young to have a pet, but she was determined. Anyway, what about Dad? Bella could ask him to look after the rest? Would she feel all right about that?"
I watched Emily squirm from his arms again and smiled. "That's a great idea. All this time, I thought Rosalie got all the brains."
"She just got the bulk of them, bro. I've learned to use my meagre allotment of cells to their greatest potential. At times, anyway. I'm envious of you two still being so close. I miss all of us hanging out together."
I shrugged. "So, move to Port Angeles." It was meant as a taunt, but in my heart, I wished he would. I'd missed our sibling threesome too. Judging from the look in his eyes, he was mulling my challenge over as an option. "At least then I'd have an opportunity to teach your daughter how to crawl properly. What the hell is that, Jazz? Seriously?"
He shook his head back and forth, laughing at me. "Babies don't always do what's expected, Ed. Each one is different. And my baby girl is very unique."
"She is," I agreed with a chuckle. She had hauled herself up to her feet by grabbing handfuls of my jeans. She was grinning up at me as I patted her head.
"You know what's a bonus?" Jasper set his cup down after draining it. "Our new nephew has made you take an interest in the next generation of Cullens. I know you're not really comfortable around babies, but I appreciate the efforts you've been making with Emily. It means a lot."
It meant a lot to me that my brother acknowledged the recent change in me. I spent the next hour in their backyard, pushing my niece in her baby swing and letting her rip out my hair by the handful. Being an uncle wasn't all glamour.
~ 0 ~
Bella looked like a million bucks sitting next to me as we departed Seattle for Forks. Leah had done an amazing job on her hair, softening the hack-job the stylist in Phoenix had done. I could tell Bella felt better about her appearance, as well as the task of spreading her inheritance around. She claimed she'd had a wonderful morning with Alice and her friend, and I believed her. The frown lines that had taken possession of her brow seemed lessened, and her eyes were bright. She looked hopeful.
"Excited to see your dad?"
She hummed a happy agreement. "He's gonna flip out when I hand him the catalog. He'd better not argue about it either. He deserves something that will encourage him to take more breaks from work." Bella had acquired a catalog of the latest boats and planned to purchase whichever he liked best.
"You know if he gives in, it'll probably be a row boat."
"I know. Stubborn ass."
"He says the same about you."
"I know. I'm my daddy's girl." Bella beamed with pride. "I'll just tell him I'm not getting in a row boat, so if he wants family visits, he'd better get a sizable yacht."
"Niiiiice." I chuckled at her spunk. "That's using your noggin."
As we neared Forks, I decided to broach something I'd been fretting over. "Um, Bella… can I make a suggestion before we get to my parents' house?" The newest plan was to visit Charlie for a few hours in the afternoon, have dinner with him, and then go to my parents' for the night. Rosalie and Emmett had taken Don Everly to their house to let him have some run-around-free time in their fenced yard. Best puppy-sitters ever.
"I know, eat whatever Esme offers, even though we just had dinner." She flashed a smile at me, and I grinned back.
"That too… but along with that… um, it's probably not a good idea to offer them anything financial. I don't know what you have planned, but the way you're going – offering to fund businesses and buy out mortgages – I know you don't plan on leaving them out. The problem is my folks love you like their own. They would never accept anything from me, Jazz, or Rose, so it wouldn't fly with you either. I just don't want you to feel snubbed when they refuse anything you offer them. Do you understand?"
She took a few moments of quiet thinking before responding. "I see your point. I hadn't thought about that. What about this – a family vacation spot? Somewhere everyone could go and have full gatherings and everything. It would be for all of us, but they could choose it. Do you think they'd go for that?"
My foot pressed down on the accelerator, more anxious to get to Forks than ever. "I knew there was a reason I love you – aside from your ability to pull off any hairdo. That's perfect."
"Speaking of hairdos… What the hell happened to yours?"
I glanced in the rear view mirror, frowning at the disarray I saw. "Emily's sticky fingers happened." I groaned, reaching for my ball cap. "She's fascinated with Tinkles' tail and my hair. In that order."
"She's adorable with you." Bella smiled as she adjusted my cap for me. "And you with her. You and Alice are quite entertaining together too. Both of you will say anything that comes to mind, and it's hilarious when you're paired up."
"Do you like her?" I asked tentatively. "Honestly."
"Honestly? I do. I don't know if I'd ever have chosen her for a friend – she's a little peppy for my taste – but as a family member she's awesome. Her heart is in the right place, even if her mouth isn't. Kind of like you sometimes."
"I take offence to that," I said teasingly. "I never say anything remotely inappropriate."
"HA!"
The sound of Bella's laughter filled the car as we reached our destination. We drove past the 'Welcome to Forks' sign, and I eased off the gas to avoid having Charlie fix a speeding ticket for me.
He was waiting on the front step when we pulled in. Smiling broadly, he approached the car and drew Bella into a tight hug when she stepped out. "I'm sorry I had to leave you that way. I wasn't thinking. You did so well on the flight down… I just…"
"It's okay, Dad. None of it was your fault."
"Bells, you should always be my first priority. I let you down. Again." His voice lowered, and his eyes misted over.
Bella gave him an extra tight squeeze and whispered, "Never. You've never let me down. Please, don't ever think that."
I had a feeling Charlie had never cried on his front porch, and he wasn't prepared to ruin his perfect record just yet. He cleared his throat gruffly and gently eased apart from his daughter. Subject closed. That's one thing I loved about Charlie – he didn't drag things on.
"How's Jake?" Bella took his lead and changed the subject.
He shrugged. "You know Jake. His dreams are crushed, but he's still smiling. I've offered a free pass for him to accidently run over my deputy if the opportunity arises. Stupid jackass. Edward? How are you, son?"
"Road wary and sticky, but otherwise just fine, thanks." We did the quick hug, shoulder pat thing. "Sorry we couldn't make it here last night. Bella booked a beauty appointment that she didn't really need."
Charlie smiled affectionately at his daughter. "She certainly didn't, but she did deserve it. I've got steaks marinating for dinner. Figured that was better than fish." His eyes twinkled as he flashed me his teasing grin. I would never live down the fish-fry incident.
"Is that Bella?" A voice called out behind me. "Sweet ride! That your car, Bella?" I turned to see a hulking kid on crutches ambling towards us.
"Jake? Oh my god, you got so big!" Bella brushed past me to embrace him. "I haven't seen you since you were learning to master your two-wheeler!"
He chuckled at her teasing. "I've advanced to motorized two-wheelers, but they're out now. Doctors figure I won't ever have the same mobility with my knee. Sucks." Despite the bad news, he still wore a grin. "This your boyfriend?"
Charlie arched an eyebrow in our direction, and Bella blushed but moved quickly to my side. "Edward, this is Jake. And yes, he's my boyfriend." She clasped my hand in hers and stood on her toes to kiss my cheek.
"Good to meet you, man." Jake grinned at me amicably. I wondered if he was incapable of frowning at all. The pleasant look on his face never seemed to fade.
"Yeah. You too. That was some touchdown in your season-ender last year." Immediately I realized I shouldn't have brought up the topic since his football career was gone, along with his days of motorbike riding. "Sorry… I…"
"Don't worry, man. It was the highlight of my life-before-idiot-Newton. There's still life after his stupidity. What, I don't know exactly. But he only took me out of the game, not life."
This kid was the polar opposite of me, but for some reason, I liked him. I didn't cringe when an invitation to join us for dinner was accepted. In fact, having him around kept all of our moods light, and that was just what Bella needed. I hadn't been looking forward to her having to repeat her angst over her breakdown at each stop. I presumed she'd already had several talks with her dad since the initial episode anyway, so it was nice to just enjoy being together.
Jake showed such enthusiasm towards the boating catalog that Charlie got wrapped up in it to. The three of us teamed up and convinced Charlie to take a serious look at the luxury yacht, equipped for sea-fishing. Another brick had been removed from the pile burying Bella, but she wasn't in the clear.
Both Jake and Charlie saw us to the car when it was time to leave. Again, Jake showed his appreciation for the Volvo.
"You like it, huh?" Bella looked at him with intrigue.
"It's certainly different from the pick-ups you see in these parts," he retorted with a grin.
"Heads up." Bella tossed him the keys, and he snatched them out of the air. Even on crutches, he had a quick hand.
"What was that?" he asked with a chuckle.
"It's yours. That is, if Dad will give us a lift to the Cullens'?"
"That's not funny, Bella. Teasing a maimed man that way." Jake held the keys out to her.
A grin spread on my face as I realized what she was doing. "I don't think she's kidding, Jake."
"Nope." She popped the 'p' for emphasis. "It's yours. I'll get Carlisle to transfer the title over to you. After all the shit my dad's super deputy has put you through, you deserve a reward."
The grin finally fell from his face. "Bella… I… I can't take –"
"Yes, you can! Jake, please take the Volvo. Pleeeeease!" I emoted, much to Bella's amusement. This was a win-win situation. Jake loved the very thing I abhorred. He was doing me a huge favour by accepting Bella's gift. "I call Emmett later on and see if he can come take us home in the morning. You've earned this car. Take it. Enjoy it. And run Newton down in the street when he's least expecting it. Just claim you thought he was a weasel."
Both Jake and Charlie cracked up. Charlie knew there was no love lost between Deputy Mike Newton and I, and if my intuition was correct, Charlie wasn't exactly thrilled to have him on his squad right now either. He happily helped me switch our bags into the cruiser and took us to our next stop, leaving behind a gleeful young man and a shiny Volvo I was more than happy to ditch.
~ 0 ~
"Bella! Dear… oh, sweetheart! Come here." Bella fell into my mom's waiting arms as soon we arrived. "Oh! I'm so glad you're here with us. Charlie, please come in. Join us."
He declined politely and promised a visit soon. My dad released me from his stronghold to help me with the bags. I had to drop mine when my mother turned her attack on me.
"Edward, sweetie, I'm so proud of you! Don't be mad at Alice for telling me you flew down to get Bella. She was so excited about it."
"It's not a big deal, Mom," I muttered quietly, but gave her an extra squeeze for reassurance that I loved her for seeing the major step I'd taken. "What did you make to eat? Bella told me she's starving." I winked at my girl as she shot me a glare.
"Oh, good! I spent the afternoon baking, so there are lots of cookies, cakes… I can warm up some pasta we had earlier."
"No, no… please," Bella implored with kindness in her eyes. "Dessert is great. That's more than enough. I'm just really glad to see you both. Thank you for having me."
Dad pulled her in against his side as we waved Charlie off. He placed a tender kiss on her head. "New hairdo, huh? It's nice. You look good, Bella. We were worried about you. I may not show my emotions as clearly as my lovely wife, but I really am thrilled that you're back in Ed's life – in all of our lives. If you need anything, sweetheart, anything… you just let us know. We're all here to help you."
Bella's beautiful eyes pooled with tears for the first time all day, but it seemed like it was a swell of mutual appreciation that was causing it. She hugged the life out of my dad, who laughed and returned her embrace with vigour.
"Come inside, you two. We don't have nearly enough time together, let's not waste it standing on the porch crying."
"Says the woman who's shed more tears on this porch than anyone," Dad quipped as he handed Bella over to me and took hold of his wife.
"How many times has Alice called today?" I asked as we took seats in the living room.
"Today? Haven't heard from her," Mom replied. "Why? What's wrong?" She instantly went into fuss mode.
"Easy, Mom. Nothing's wrong. I just wondered if she told you Bella's news already."
Mom and Dad exchanged questioning looks before both shaking their heads. "No news. But I hope your news is that you're moving back here permanently?"
"I am," Bella responded with a nod. "Well, not Forks. Port Angeles."
"With me," I finished for her, alleviating the tension as my parents silently debated who would inquire about that. They both grinned. "But there's more." Together, we told them about the inheritance and Bella's plans to divvy it up between loved ones, charities, and the university.
"I was hoping you'd help me out with that, Carlisle. I need a lawyer to transfer all the funds and set up scholarships and whatnot. Would you be able to do that for me?"
"Of course, Bella. Whenever you're ready, we'll talk. We'll work it all out. That's very generous of you."
She shook her head. "It's not mine. I'm simply doing what I think Gianna and Marcus would want."
"I think they'd most want for you to be happy, dear." Esme crossed the room and took a seat next to Bella. "The memorial must have been very difficult for you."
"You'll never guess who was there," I commented as I munched on a peanut butter cookie. "Aro."
"Aro? Dr Tenneman?" My mom's shock was evident. "What on earth was he doing there?"
"He was good friends with Marcus, from way back," Bella explained.
"Small world," Dad commented. "Seems like he was in the right place at the right time." He glanced at me questioningly, and I nodded.
"It was great to see him again. He stayed with Bella until I arrived." My mom wrung her hands nervously and then gave in and hugged her again.
"He was so instrumental in Edward's life, I'm glad he was there for you as well," Mom whispered softly as she held onto her. "Of course, I'm sure your aunt and uncle were a big help to you."
Bella sniffled, the tears coming forth once more. "They're great. They are. I've depended on them too much –"
"Nonsense," my mother murmured. "That's what family is for."
"Esme?" Bella pulled away and faced my mother. "You're the most amazing mother, you should know that. From the moment I met you, I wished I could have you for a mom. Trade in my faulty one for better model."
Mom's eyes widened in shock even as the blush in her cheeks gave away the pride Bella's remarks had made her feel. "Sweet, sweet girl, I am far from perfect. But you should know that I would be the proudest mom in the world to have you as a daughter." Her eyes showed conflict.
"Wishing you could just blurt it out, Mom? Even if it's inappropriate?" I teased. "She's used to me. And now Alice. Go ahead, give it a shot."
"Your mother is a fool. There. I said it. I'm sure she has her redeeming qualities. You've turned out lovely, after all, but she's a damned fool and she doesn't deserve you. I'm sorry." She looked ashamed of herself as her eyes darted from me to Dad and then back to Bella.
"Don't be, Esme. I realized a long time ago that I don't deserve her. Luckily, I had Gran and Kate, and then you. Then Gianna." She bit down on her lip as her lashes darkened with her tears. "Thank you for being there for me when my mother failed me… years ago, and more recently. I hope I'm not over-stepping –"
"Go ahead." I nudged her with my elbow. "She's used to Alice."
"Stop dissing your sister-in-law," Bella chastised me playfully. "She's sweet. What I wanted to say is that I hope we can continue to be close, Esme. You were like a mom to me when I needed that most. You took care of me after Nathan was born, and that was above and beyond anything I ever could have asked for. I know I hurt you when I dropped out of your life."
Mom smiled at her as she stroked her cheek. "That's the past, honey. Forgiven and forgotten. And for the record, I would have camped out on Edward's doorstep if you'd refused to let me stay in the apartment with you, just to be close in case you needed anything."
"You should have been with Rosalie. And Nathan," Bella protested.
"I was exactly where I needed to be," my mother stated firmly. "I had time with them as well. But my goodness, you needed some TLC. Just ask Edward what it's like with me in your life when you're under the weather. I hovered over that poor boy so much, he developed insecurities he never should have had."
I scoffed, wiping the cookie crumbs from my shirt. "It's not your fault I was a mess. I was damaged goods. You did what you could with it."
"You weren't 'damaged goods', Edward," Carlisle spoke out. "Good lord, son. Don't get her started on that!" Swiftly, he stood up before she could argue. "I want to go pull up the forms I think we'll need for you to look over while you're here. I'll just be a moment."
Mom sipped on her tea and then reached for the plate of carrot muffins, practically forcing one on Bella. I politely declined with a huge grin. Bella would soon know firsthand just how my fat years began. To my mother, feeding meant love.
Bella nibbled courteously but seemed fidgety for reasons beyond her full stomach. "Esme, I wanted to ask you about something."
For a moment I feared she was ignoring my request to not offer them part of the inheritance. I sucked that back and reprimanded myself for wanting to control her that way. One of the things I'd always loved about Bella was her ability to carry out what she felt was right, regardless of what others thought.
Setting her cup down, Mom smiled encouragingly.
"I need your advice – as a mother, and a nurse."
Ohhhh! Suddenly realizing she was about to take my other advice and ask my mom about breastfeeding, I was the one fidgeting. And extremely anxious to get the hell out of Dodge. "I should go see if Dad needs me."
I didn't get my ass off the couch fast enough. Bella caught hold of my belt loop and hauled me back down. "You know nothing about legal forms. Your dad can manage on his own."
The look in her eyes told me she needed my moral support, if nothing else from me, so I nodded and sucked in a breath.
"What is it, dear?" My mother took on a concerned look that I'd seen many times in my life. "Is your recovery not going well? Rosalie told me your last renal results were remarkably good. Are you feeling unwell? Over-tired?"
"No, no! Well, yes, I am tired but that's beside the point. I'm fine." Bella was quick to reassure my worried mother. "It's just… the past few days, I've had trouble expressing." She hesitated and then rushed to clarify. "My milk. For Nathan. It's… gone. Am I doing something wrong? Am I too far away from him? What happened? I mean, does that happen? It just… stops?"
Relief flooded my mom's face as she clutched at her chest. "Oh goodness, yes! That can happen, certainly. With the amount of stress you've been under, it's remarkably normal, I would say. You've done nothing wrong. It's just your body's way of telling you… enough."
"So it's… gone? It won't come back?"
"How do your breasts feel, dear? Are they tender? Engorged at all?"
Air caught in the back of my throat as I attempted to breathe and yet hold my breath at the same time. This was definitely not a conversation I should be present for. Reaching for a muffin to occupy myself, I went for broke and grabbed the whole plate. I saw Bella glance at me from the corner of my eye, but she looked away quickly when I stuffed the first muffin in my mouth.
"No. They're not engorged. A little tender, but that may be from trying to express when there's nothing there."
I went to another place in my mind as I heard the words 'nipples' and 'breasts' far too many times. The muffins were extraordinarily good. Extra moist. And Mom had put a layer of cream cheese frosting on them, just as I liked. She had a way of making the little carrot morsels look like speckles, rather than shreds. She'd altered the way she grated the carrots after I'd choked on one at a very young age. Personally, I thought it had nothing to do with the carrot bits, and everything to do with the fact that I tended to choke on anything I attempted to eat for a while there. Still, I always felt special because she made the change for me. And everyone raved over her muffins. Even neighbourhood children, whose parents swore they wouldn't touch anything that had a carrot anywhere near it, came back for more. Before I even was aware, I'd finished off three of them. Licking my lips, I set the plate back on the table so I wouldn't devour what was left of them.
"… Edward? You can do that, right?"
"Sorry?" My head turned towards my mother's voice. "I wasn't paying attention. I was… somewhere else."
Bella chuckled softly beside me. Taking a peek at her, I saw her cheeks tinged pink. Mom was watching both of us, her brows arched inquisitively.
"I think I've made him a little uncomfortable," Bella said softly. Apologetically. The fact that she knew this was awkward for me made me want to suck it up and just be whatever she needed me to be.
"What can I do, Mom? You were saying something, and I missed it." Turning my body to the side so I could face them, I placed my arm on the back of the couch, catching a few strands of Bella's hair between my fingers. It made her smile, so I continued drawing my fingers through it.
"I was saying that the more relaxed Bella is, the more likely she is to produce. You can keep her relaxed. Rested. Well nourished, with lots of fluids. Just like when she first came home, but emphasize the relaxation. Tension isn't conducive to a good milk flow. When I had the same issue, your father would draw me a warm bath and then give a lovely back massage. Get all the tension out of my shoulders. And then he'd dash away with you." She smiled, thinking back to the days of new motherhood. To me, it didn't sound like anything to smile about. It sounded like I was the cause of her tension.
"You're going away again, aren't you?" Her voice was teasing, yet loving. "What were you thinking just now, Edward? That little frown line appeared. Something troubled you about what we were talking about."
"Seriously, Esme. This is probably very awkward for him. I shouldn't have made him stay –"
"I was thinking that we don't have a little red troll – a mini-me – to get out of the way, so once Bella's relaxed, she shouldn't have a problem. I'll keep Don Everly busy, because I know you had some issues with him and the sound of the pump. That's the kind of thing you meant, right?" I looked from Bella to my mom.
"You really were far away, weren't you? You didn't hear a thing I said."
"It's fine, Esme." Bella was quick to jump in. "I understood the connection you were making. We can let him off the hook." She tittered with my mom as she gave my hand a squeeze. "Your mom doesn't think Nathan will be any worse off if I can't restart my flow," she told me.
"Any amount of breast milk is wonderful for a newborn. It's not always possible though. Nathan's had the best of everything, and he'll be just fine. And don't you worry for a second about letting anyone down, young lady." Her scolding was done so gently it made me wish I'd been paying closer attention to the conversation instead of the muffins.
Before I could quiz either of them on what I'd missed, Dad poked his head in and beckoned for Bella. I started to go with her, but Mom held onto my arm.
"I'm not done with you, mister. Bella will be just fine with your dad. You and I are going to have a talk."
Where was the gentle tone she'd just used with Bella? My eyes sought out deep brown ones to tell me if it really was all right with her if I stayed back. She smiled reassuringly, that beautiful glow returning to her eyes. They weren't dull like they had been, or worse, pooled with guilt as they'd been when I got to her in Phoenix. She was coming back, bit by bit. My beautiful, carefree Bella.
"Bella, dear, I got the rooms upstairs ready for you. When you're done with Carlisle, you'll find your things in Rosalie's room, as always."
Thankfully, Mom was standing in front of me and couldn't see me clamp my hand over my mouth to avoid snickering. Bella looked as though someone had just taken her favourite doll from her. She recovered quickly and nodded politely. "That's great, Esme. Thank you for going through all this trouble. It'll be nice to be in Rose's room again."
Amusement still lurked on my face when Mom turned to address me. Not feeling amused herself, she cocked an eyebrow at me, waiting to be alone before she spoke. "Edward, are you sleeping with Bella?"
A short chuckle escaped. "You cut right to the chase, don't you?"
"I'm not laughing."
I cleared my throat, straightening my posture. "I noticed."
"You're thinking it's none of my business?"
"I'm thinking I feel like I'm twelve."
"I wouldn't even entertain the idea of you sleeping with Bella at twelve – don't be ridiculous."
Ridiculous? "Mom, this conversation is ridiculous. You are aware that I'm thirty?"
She huffed, squeezing her eyes shut as she realized it wasn't going to be an easy run with me. "Yes, I'm aware. I have three thirty-year-olds. And thank you for reminding me how old I am."
"You're not old," I countered. "You're… aged to perfection." My best smile greeted her when she opened her eyes.
"You are so full of shit."
I felt much more relaxed when we both broke into laughter. "Mom… dearest Mother… I am thirty. A grown man. And…" I leaned in to whisper the next part. "I'm not a virgin."
"Edward!" Her face flushed, but I persisted on driving my point home.
"I've been independent for almost a decade. I've had relationships. Did you think I was saving myself? Waiting for marriage?"
"I thought maybe one of you would," she muttered. "But no. At this stage, I suppose I didn't really believe that."
"Aw, Mom. I had no idea you were so old-fashioned," I chided teasingly. "That's sweet."
"Shut it, you." Her voice was stern, but a smile played at her lips. "I didn't think you were a…"
"Say it."
She shook her head.
"Just say it."
"A – " Her head swayed back and forth again.
"Say it. Out loud."
"Virgin!"
I couldn't torture her anymore, as entertained as I was. It was just cruel of me to embarrass her so. Laughing softly, I pulled her into my arms. "I love you, Mom. It's nice that you think so highly of my morals."
"God, why do I do this to myself?" She rested her forehead on my shoulder as she returned my embrace. "I should know that you'd give me the hardest time with this."
"A sex talk at thirty? Seriously, Mom, I think any of us would laugh this off."
"But this is serious, Edward," she insisted as she eased away from me. "Not the state of your… you know. I'm talking about Bella. Our Bella! And why am I the last to know?"
It hit me then; someone had only now blabbed. I'd expected that to have happened long ago, but she honestly had no idea. "I'm sorry," I said softly. "I thought you would have known by now."
"I thought you would have told me yourself," she contended. "If not then, at the very least now."
So she knew about the ordeal as teens as well. "I couldn't talk about it." My head was lowered, unable to look her in the eyes. "And I didn't want your pity."
"Edward…" She touched my arm, stroking it gently. "I could have offered comfort, not pity. But all of that aside, when did you plan on telling me about you two? And how long has this been going on?"
"Just recently," I vowed. "Very recently. We're just beginning to explore how we really feel about each other."
"So all these months she's been staying at your apartment…?"
"Friends. We've been friends. Always friends."
Her look softened even more as she smiled at me. "But now she knows how you feel?"
I nodded, returning her smile. "She does."
"I feel like a fool. It's been right there, staring us all in the face, and now it's so obvious. It's clear that she adores you, as well."
My smile broadened. "That's the most amazing thing about all of this. When I found her, I honestly didn't think it would end up this way. I just wanted to be there for her – be her friend, as I always was. I never stopped caring about her."
"None of us did. I care… very deeply for her, Edward. And you know you mean the world to me."
Smirking, I tipped my head. "Out with it."
"I don't want either of you to be hurt. Are you sure this is the right time? She's so vulnerable."
"It's the right time." The words came out of me with more assurance than I thought I had, but hearing them, I truly felt it. "This is new for us, but we're ready. I'm not the same boy I was back when we first met. Back then, Bella was my only friend, outside the family. She gave me encouragement and support. She helped me believe in myself. Right now, I can give that back to her, and the best way I know how is to not let another day pass without her knowing that she's cherished. She's my life."
My mother smiled through her tears, nodding emphatically. "You do that. But go slow. She's still recovering from a c–"
"For God's sake, Mom, I know that! I'm not forcing myself on her."
"I didn't mean it that way. It was just, you know, a little medical reminder. She's only at five weeks post-surgery."
"Five and a half," I corrected with a smirk. I took the playful slap as it was meant, with love and concern. "We're going day by day. Don't worry. I won't hurt her."
"I never thought you would. It's just not in you."
"Mom… I have to ask. What did you mean earlier, about Bella not allowing herself to feel like she's let someone down. Who were you talking about?"
She squinted at me quizzically. "You really weren't listening," she stated with amusement. "Son, some things only women can fully understand. I'm not saying that fathers don't feel the same sense of desperation that their children have everything they could possibly need, but for a woman who's just given birth… honey, it's just a really difficult time. Just make sure she knows she's loved. She'll get through this."
"She thinks she let Nathan down," I surmised. "Because of the milk thing?"
"Nathan. Rosalie. You –"
"Me?" My voice raised at least two octaves. "She's not letting me down."
Mom nodded her agreement. "Make sure she knows she's loved, every day," she reiterated. "You'll be fine." She rubbed my arm briskly, nodding emphatically. "You'll be fine."
My head shifted slightly when I heard Bella's footsteps on the stairs. She and Dad were finished.
"Go on." Mom gave me a little shove. "I know where you want to be, and it's not with Granny, here. You do remember where your room is, don't you?"
I grinned. "Yeah. Top of the stairs, to the right."
"Left!" Her scolding eyebrow was raised once more. "Right now, I'm embracing my old-fashioned ways. Your sister's room is off limits to boys of all ages. Especially thirty-year-olds."
"Point taken," I conceded before adding, "Granny."
"Little shit," she retorted with a chuckle. "Somehow it's endearing from you. I'd never let your brother get away with this, you know."
"I know. It's our own special thing." I bent to place a kiss on her cheek. It meant so much to me that she was looking out for Bella, not just me. "Love you, Mom. Every. Day."