True Love Way

Chapter 29

Emmett offered to help us upstairs, but I declined, sending him on his way to spend the evening with his family while he could. He had an early shift the next day. I took our bags while Bella handled Don Everly's leash. He led the way.

"Glad to be home?" I inquired softly after Bella stopped on the landing below our floor and gazed up.

"You can't imagine," she replied with a sweet smile. "Edward, I want you to know that this won't last forever."

Pain seared through my rib cage. A knife had just pierced my heart and then gave a good twist to make sure the job was done. Or maybe I needed my inhaler. Either way, the pain coursed through me as I understood Bella's warning. She was going to leave me again.

"I know this isn't how you wanted things to be. I'm going to take Aro up on his offer for Skype therapy. At least a few times anyway – until I get my head screwed on right. I swear that I won't be a nutcase forever."

I stared at her blankly. Nutcase? Did she think I was a nutcase? I'd spent far more time with Aro than she had. If she was nuts, then I was certifiable.

"See? This freaks you out, right? You want the girl you knew, not this mess you've been stuck with instead. Now I really feel like I'm taking advantage of you. Maybe I should have waited to call you. Got my shit together and then came back for a true beginning for us. Am I going to ruin it for you? If I'm too much right now, just say it. I can go back to Forks until we're ready. Or rent an apartment on my own. In the building maybe, so we can still be near, but I won't be in your way. And then there's Don to think about."

"Bella, Bella… stop." I turned her body to face me. "You're confusing the hell out of me. What are talking about?"

"I don't want to be a burden to you anymore. I want a real relationship."

The knife eased out of my chest. Air began to flow normally once more. It felt great. "That's what I want too. A real relationship. Those, from my understanding, come with ups and downs."

Smiling, she stroked my arm. "This is definitely the down part."

"The most down we'll ever see," I assured her. "It's over now. Here's where things start going our way, and this time, we just let it happen instead of fighting it. You're not a burden in any way. You could never burden me."

"Honestly?" she asked in a whisper. "You'd tell me if this is too much?"

"Bella, this is too much. I've been holding these bags for the past ten minutes, trying not to fall backwards. What did you pack in here? Anyway, I'd like to move forward now. Literally. Can we go up this last flight so I can get rid of these bags?"

She was already moving, laughing lightly, hips swaying as she climbed. I decided I would always let her lead the way upstairs. When I opened the apartment door, Don Everly was the first to burst through, happily wagging his tail. I dumped the bags just inside, blocking Bella from entering before I could say what I wanted to say to her.

Turning to face her, I took both of her hands in mine, relishing the feel of her soft, feminine fingers entangled with mine. It felt natural and yet exhilarating. The only hands to ever maintain contact with my own. Suddenly I was grateful for this quirk of mine – it had prevented anyone else from contaminating this for me. Bella was mine. My one and only true love.

"When I first brought you here, I was so thankful to have you back in my life," I began in a low voice. "I was grateful that you'd been spared in the crash. I felt indebted to whatever power it was that placed me on the same route at the same time so I could find you. And I felt privileged that you accepted me back in your life so willingly. I never imagined we'd be standing here this way now, knowing what we know, and talking about a future together. I propose… from this day forward… you and I only move forward. No more looking back. No more regrets. Only promises."

Bella's smile quivered as she fought tears. I believe my mother would say they were happy tears.

"I promise you, Bella, that whatever we face, it will be together. I promise you'll never be alone with another fear or accomplishment or doubt… whatever you're going through, I'll be right there with you. I'll be your best friend. And your lover, too. I'll be whatever you need me to be, because you're exactly what I need you to be. My everything. I love you, Bella."

She bit down on her lip as one tear escaped the pools in her eyes. "Edward… I… I love you so much I can't even express –"

"You don't have to," I informed her with a loving smile. "I feel it. I can finally look at you and feel it." Stooping, I gently gathered her in my arms. "All those months ago, I brought you into my home this way, and today, I'm saying, welcome home, Bella. You're finally home."

We kissed softly as I crossed the threshold. Her arms gripped my shoulders firmly as though she never wanted to lose physical contact with me. Her lips moved smoothly over mine. Expertly nipping and parting as just the right moment. It felt like we'd been intimate for eternity. We seemed like one soul divided in two, knowing exactly what the other part wanted and needed.

Trusting my grip on her, Bella released my shoulders and cupped my face. "Look at me now, Edward," she said huskily. "Do you see what I feel for you right now?"

I looked. I saw the world's most beautiful girl. The softest brown eyes boring into my portion of our shared soul. I saw love and commitment. Rejoice and relief. Amazement and trust. When I really contemplated it, I saw that it was how she'd always looked at me. Always. But there was something slightly different now, something that I couldn't name.

"Lust, Edward. That's what you're seeing. I want you in the worst way – the best way." She squirmed a little in my arms, chewing on her lip as her eyes dipped down to my mouth. "I've never wanted someone the way I want you. You should know that." She stroked my cheek as she looked back to my eyes. "I want you to know that. Because when I'm cleared, physically… when I get the go-ahead…"

The kiss she initiated was different than any of our previous kisses. It was filled with the same love and desire, but a raw lust dominated and I felt weak straight through to my toes.

"You're beautiful," she whispered as she lightened our kiss. "And desirable." Her tongue flicked across my lower lip. "So sexy and sweet." My heart pounded with her words and soft kisses. "You're everything to me. All that I've ever wanted and so much more."

"When's your appointment?" The voice that came out sounded nothing like me, but it was suiting because the desire I felt for her was nothing like I'd ever felt either.

She gave me a coy grin and another kiss, attempting to swing around so her legs could wrap around me. At least, I think that's what she was going for. Trying with all my might not to drop her as she shifted, I gripped her ass and momentarily thought it was rather lewd of me, so I grabbed onto her thighs instead. The sudden move made her life higher in my arms and my head started spinning with the very intimate contact. I couldn't adapt to the weight shift under the circumstances and struggled to keep my balance. At this very moment, Bella's face took on a look of horror and I over-compensated, slamming her roughly against my groin as I spread my legs for better balance until I could fix whatever was wrong. It may have worked, had I not stepped on a rubber bone. It squeaked, and I squealed as a searing pain shot up the back of one thigh and settled in my ass cheek.

"What happened?" Bella dropped her legs to the ground, landing gracefully.

I grimaced, afraid to move in case it got worse. "I should be asking you that. What's wrong?" I tried to sound as normal as possible – my usual concerned self.

"That. That's what's wrong." She pointed behind me, a surprising amount of disgust in her leer.

Turning, I saw she was pointing to Don Everly's training crate. "Oh… right. You missed this part –"

"What part is that, Edward? The part where you locked up my puppy? Was he in a cage the whole time I was gone? Is this because of that first day when you were at work? He made a mess, so you jailed him?"

Her passion in regards to this took me by complete surprise. She stormed over to examine it. I wanted to follow, I truly did, but only one leg was willing to move. "It's not like that, I swear. This is Emmett's suggestion –"

"Emmett? No way! He's such a dog lover, I can't believe he'd put my puppy in a cage!"

"It's not a cage, Bella!" I sounded harsher than I'd intended, but there was little else I could do. I couldn't move to soothe her the way I wanted to, with a hug and a gentle explanation. Plus, she was fuming and didn't seem to be ready to hear what I had to say. "It's a training crate. And for your information, I was against it when Emmett first suggested it as well. But he knows more about this stuff, and he was right. He was right, Bella."

Her hands covered her face. I couldn't tell if she was so disgusted with me she couldn't even look at me, or if she felt the same shame I did over an argument our first night home.

"Don's perfectly happy in there, Bella. I promise. He was so lonely without you, I wouldn't have made it worse for him by locking him up in a place he hated. He has his bed in there and his favourite toys. Food, water. All of his comfort things. I think he feels safe in there, not punished."

Bella was trying to control her tears and anger. Trying to understand and hear me. She nodded silently.

"I don't know what happened to him in his life before us, but I would never take him to a place that reminded him of bad things," I explained gently. "I have all these horrible thoughts of how he was abused. Abandoned. I wonder if he had siblings with him, and if they suffered too. Or was he all alone? Did he have his mother with him at all, or did she leave him? Did he see her die? I just want him to feel safe and loved."

"Oh my god. I'm such a shit." Bella wiped at her tears angrily. This time, the anger was directed towards herself rather than me. "God, I should know that you'd think of all those things. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you think of it again." Thankfully, she came to me for the soothing hug. I still didn't risk moving. "I know that whatever happened to Don's doggy family, he knows he's loved by his new family. He looks so happy." Bella moved to my side so we could both watch him chase his tail in the kitchen. He loved the sound his nails made on the tiles and kept spinning faster and faster, drawing a laugh from both of us.

"You're still upset with me," Bella said quietly as she rested her head on my shoulder. "You haven't moved. And you're so quiet."

"I'm not upset."

"Something's wrong. Did I put you off? Was I too assertive earlier, is that it?"

Too assertive? I choked back a laugh as I shook my head. "No, Bella. That's not it."

"Just tell me, then! You said we'd share everything, but you're already holding back. I can tell there's something wrong."

"My ass." The words spewed from me as a sweat formed on my brow. The muscle had completely seized up, and it was torturous. "I pulled a muscle, I think. Hamstring maybe. I dunno. It feels like one ass cheek is on fire, and I don't want to cry in front of you, but I'm dangerously close." I let out a bashful chuckle rather than the sob that would have come out had I been alone.

"From holding me that way so long?" She didn't laugh with me, instead she started putting blame on herself.

I shook my head. "It's probably from being in the car for days. Not getting my runs in. Any number of things. None of what I've done for the past week is my normal routine. My ass is now registering a complaint, that's all. A strong one."

"You should lie down. Can you make it to the bedroom? Or even the couch?" She tucked her arm around my waist, acting as a third leg for me as we began our way towards the bedroom. I knew once I was down, I would not be getting back up. Not only was I sore, but also exhausted.

I cringed and whimpered as Bella helped me ease my jeans down, then I collapsed back onto the bed.

"Oh my god… this is good. My own bed. Heaven."

"What can we do for the pain? Ice? Heat? It's better to start treatment right away, isn't it?"

"Um… yeah. RICE."

"Rice? What, in a bag or something? Uncooked?"

I snickered, trying not to allow my whole body to shake.

"Or do you mean you're hungry. Edward, I know nothing about this, you've got to help me."

"RICE – it's a treatment plan," I explained. "Rest. Ice… And uh… that's all I need right now."

"I'm on it." She dashed from the room, returning before I could even attempt to shimmy my way into bed properly. I was still sprawled across it, just as I'd fallen onto it. "I've got peas."

"Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold…" I sang out the beginning of the silly rhyme I recalled from childhood.

"Peas porridge on your ass, five days old. Roll over."

"Bellaaaa," I murmured with a grin as she leaned over me. "I just love you."

She gave me a soft kiss, running her hand through my hair. "I love you and your accident-prone ways and your silly outbursts and your emergency treatment knowledge. Which side? Right or left?"

I pointed to my right cheek, and she helped me roll onto my stomach. I felt her spreading a towel across my leg, and coolness followed.

"Is this the right spot?"

"Higher." The coolness moved up my thigh. "Higher."

Bella leaned over me, kissing my cheek. "You just want me to touch your ass."

"Yeah, but that's beside the point. It's not my hamstring. It's my ass. Just my ass. And you can laugh now, I know you want to. My butt cheek knows you want to."

She did, and it hit me that I would literally throw myself down a flight of stairs if it would make her laugh. If her tears ripped a whole in my heart, the sound of her laughter mended it. She sat with me, stroking my hair while we iced the injury for the required twenty minutes. I could have fallen asleep with the soothing touch of her hand, but I was jolted by an onslaught of wet, slobbering doggy kisses followed by the Bella's sweet laughter.

"Oh, Don Everly, you love Edward as much as I do, don't you?"

"And yet, you're not licking my jaw," I remarked teasingly.

"Not at the moment." She spoke softly by my ear, her sultry voice full of promises. "I don't want Don's leftovers."

"If I could stand, I'd go shower. Remove his contamination."

"If you could stand, you wouldn't be about to receive a butt massage."

My head lifted in interest. "Yeah?"

She closed one eye in thought. "Actually, you'd probably still get the massage, just not limited to your butt."

"Oh boy…"

"I am rather enamored with your butt, though."

"Yeah?" I squeaked, receiving a soft giggle from the girl with magical fingers working her way towards my half-frozen rump.

"But I have to say, you had no right mocking your brother's hairy ass the other day."

"Sorry?"

"You said that you hoped Emily didn't get her father's hairy ass," she reminded me.

"Oh. Right." Was she really going to defend Jasper against my jokes?

"Your own isn't exactly baby-like."

I gulped as she slid a finger inside the waistband of my boxers, tickling bare flesh. "How do you know?"

"The shower, remember?"

"You got that good a look at my ass? Really?"

"I got a look at everything, Edward. It's etched in my brain. Trust."

The corner of my mouth lifted with amusement and a sense of smugness. "Ah, one of the perks of 20/20 vision."

"And total recall. I don't have that ability for anyone or anything, aside from you."

"Is that right?"

"Mmm-hmm." Every fingertip from her right hand was now on bare flesh. "Mmm… soft."

"I don't think a man's butt is supposed to be soft," I quipped.

"Yours is. And believe me, it's not a bad thing. It's soft on top – the fine hair – but firm underneath." Her full hand slipped in to knead the cheek with loving care. If I'd known this would happen, I would have ripped an ass muscle much sooner. "You should take these off."

"You just want to see my ass again."

She threw one leg over me, holding herself above my body as she whispered into my ear. "I want to see your ass every day for the rest of my life, but right now, I just want to take care of you so you can mend and be ready for me."

Of all the injuries throughout my life, I willed this one to be the quickest healing. With any luck at all, Bella's magical fingers would heal me overnight.

~ 0 ~

The healing process was slow but pleasurable. I hobbled back and forth to work over the next week with much mocking from my co-workers. It was endurable because before and after every shift, I was treated to a butt massage. Some more stimulating than others. I found 'girlfriend Bella' to be just as playful as 'friend Bella', but more adventurous than I'd ever imagined. She was also very comfortable with nudity, as displayed with her 'bare back massage'. It was still a butt massage, but I was stripped naked, as was she. She rode my bare back while performing her healing ritual on me. It was the most the most erotic thing I'd ever experienced. Judging by the flush of her skin afterwards, I would say she found it quite sensual as well.

"Bad news," she murmured after the night's rub-down. She was nestled against my side, wearing one of my shirts and a pair of the only panties Don hadn't run off with. We were finding them everywhere in the apartment, much to Bella's dismay. I rather liked it since it meant she'd gone panty-less a couple of nights.

"I don't want it," I retorted. "We're only having good news from now on."

"Okay, let's see how I can spin this." She laughed softly against my neck, causing me to shiver. She now knew those shivers weren't chills, but my response to being easily stimulated in the neck region. And when she'd nibble on my jaw, it just about made me insane with need. "We have more time to let your butt heal."

I pondered this puzzle only briefly before giving up. "Okay. I have no idea what that means."

"Well, I wouldn't want you to re-strain that particular muscle. It should be completely healed before you attempt anything vigorous."

"Vigorous? Such as…?"

She hummed against my neck, giggling as my whole body trembled. "Thrusting," she whispered against my ear.

"Thrusting, you say?" I couldn't hide my shit-eating grin if I tried.

"Thrusting. Vigorous, repeated thrusting."

"Interesting." I slipped my hand inside the back of her shirt and drew light circles with my fingertips – the equivalent of her breathing against my neck. "What's wrong, Bella?" I teased when she squirmed against me.

"You know what's wrong. Don't tease me."

"You began this little game, taunting me with thrusts."

"Say it again."

"You began this –"

Placing her finger on my mouth, she shushed me. "Not that part. The last part."

"Taunting?" I teased.

"You so are."

I bent my neck for access to her ear and whispered in a throaty voice, "Thrusts? Thrusting? Repeated thrusting?"

"Oh, yes please!"

We both broke into laughter and took a few moments to regulate our pulses and air flow. "Okay, I'd better have it. What's your news?"

"My doctor had to cancel my appointment."

"Oh. You're feeling all right though, aren't you? Do you need to see him right away?"

"Edward…" She lifted herself up onto one elbow so she could stare down at me. "My six-week check-up is postponed. The clearance for…"

"Ohhhh!" That check-up. "Shit. That is bad news." Seriously shitty news. Bella was not at all on the let's-take-this-slow page of the beginning of a relationship user's manual. Every day, she seemed to push it a little further and it was really testing my willpower. "What do you say about skipping ahead to chapter four? Maybe even five?"

She shook her head, making the cutest confused face I'd ever seen. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"I'm trying to spin this, Bella, stay with me."

"Okay," she relented with a snicker.

"In the User's Guide to Dating, we would actually, you know… date, before we lived together. Shared a bed. Wore each other's clothing."

"You have a book about it?"

"In my head, yeah."

"Of course."

I waited for her to stop giggling at me. She sounded like a love-sick teenager. Or drunk. Or just incredibly happy. "Anyway, since you seem hell-bent on skipping by some of the fundamentals, I propose we just toss the book."

"The imaginary book?"

"Whatever."

"How does one toss an imaginary book?"

I clenched my eyes shut and jerked my head to the side. "Just like that. Gone."

"Now I'm concerned. Do you know what to do without this book?"

I smirked at her. "I have it memorized."

"You would," she retorted with narrowed eyes and a sly grin of her own. "So what's chapter four?"

"Manual stimulation."

She gulped, her face reddening. "Wow."

"It could be. I'm a bit out of practice though, so it may more of a whoa. Also, there can't be penetration, so it might be tricky finding my way around your special button for the first time."

"My special button?"

"The special button of your lady bits," I replied, knowing the reaction I'd get.

"Never…" Her toes grabbed hold of my calf before I could pull away. She was damned fast.

"I know…" I said with a deep laugh as she pinched me. "I'm never to say either of those again, right?"

"Never. I mean it."

"You prefer visual over audio?"

Her bottom lip disappeared in her mouth as she examined my face for signs of teasing. She didn't say no, so I took that as my cue and hitched her leg over mine as I went in for the starter kiss. We always began very soft and loving, almost as though each one was our very first kiss. We both seemed to take enjoyment in the tender kisses, so neither of us rushed it even though when one of us would make a move to deepen the kiss that was also rapidly accepted. This time, we were still doing tender when she pressed her hips against mine. My lungs drained themselves of any air and for several moments, I didn't even need oxygen to exist. I only needed this woman pressed against me, and her full lips and soft fingertips that were twisting in my hair.

"You're jumping ahead again," I panted. "That's not until chapter six."

"What, premature ejaculation? It has its own chapter?"

This woman cracked me up. I smiled at the proud look on her face for coming out with a good one-liner at this moment. "God, I love you."

"What chapter is that?" she asked in a more serious manner.

"It's a whole book on its own – titled, 'Bella.'"

"Awww!" She gazed at me lovingly, tracing my jawline with her fingers. "What chapter are blow-jobs in?"

My eyes widened, and I had to bite the inside of my cheek so as not to look like a clown on crack. Of course I was dying to experience that with her, but that wasn't what I had set out for when I started this. "Later." My voice squeaked, of course. She didn't laugh.

"You've been so good to me, Edward. Always. I want to do something for you. I want to make you feel good."

"You first."

"Edward… it could be weird. It might take a while. It's been… a long time."

"See now, it's just the opposite for me. While it's been a long time, it definitely wouldn't take long on my end of it."

"Ah, clever. Your own premature ejaculation joke."

"Yours was better, admittedly."

"Thank you."

"You can say that again later. After I've figured out how you work down there."

"Hours from now?" She smirked at me in a sad way. "Are you prepared to be that dedicated to the cause?"

"Oh, I'm nothing if not dedicated."

A sweet, lingering kiss was placed on my lips. "You are everything. And dedicated. And I love you."

She certainly surprised me, but I believe she even shocked herself when after only a few minutes of heavy petting outside her panties, something caused her to scream out an obscenity and hastily rid herself of the thin fabric that was in the way. The t-shirt was quick to follow the path to the floor.

"Jesus, Edward… you have no idea how good this feels. So much better than –"

Better than what? Or whom? Pleading with my brain to let my body have its fun, I shut down all thoughts of her last sexual partner. I was with her now and that's all that mattered. I had my fingers curled to avoid the natural urge to delve inside her, but they were working a steady rhythm around her highly sensitive core. I alternated passion-filled kisses with tender nips along her shoulders. Eventually, I licked a path down between her breasts, stopping to get her approval before attempting any titty play. I didn't know how she'd feel about that with the whole situation about drying up. She stared at me intently as I silently asked permission. Her hips moved steadily against my hand. The rocking motion made her tits jiggle so enticingly. I was salivating at the mere thought of them being so near to my mouth.

Just when I thought she wanted to reject the idea, but didn't know how to tell me so, her hand went to the back of my head, grasping a handful of hair and urging me forward. As we were on our sides, facing each other, I took what was readily available to me – her left breast. Her beautifully rounded breast. So perfectly white and topped with a pert, pink nipple. I first licked a trail around the fullest part of it, then up to where her cleavage would be. I turned slightly to give her right breast an appreciative kiss for its beauty as well before turning back to my prize.

Her chest was heaving, her hips grinding. The prize was bopping around, luring me in. Come on, big boy. Catch me if you can. I made the same journey back to my starting point with kisses rather than tongue, but let my nose nuzzle against the pink bud. The cherry on the sundae. Fuck… if only I had whipped cream.

I darted my tongue out, letting it barely nip against her as she moved. It elicited a throaty moan from her that drove me crazy with lust. I had to have them. Not just the one that was calling to me – I needed the full set. Gently, but with definite urgency, I flipped her onto her back, taking a full breast in each hand as I admired them. My freakishly long fingers wrapped them and met up with my thumbs, making her tits look like they were framed in my hands. Flesh-coloured frames for the world's best art – Bella's boobs.

"My god, you're beautiful," I whispered in awe. My large hands made her look tiny, yet her flesh still spilled out over my thumbs. I applied light pressure to draw them upwards, admiring the fullness of them in my hands. I began kneading them, ever so gently. I'd never touched a woman's breasts who'd nursed. I had no idea if it would hurt, but I recalled my mother asking her if they were tender. By the way Bella reacted, they were still tender, but in a very good way.

Her hips lurched, legs bent, and I was shocked to see her own hand fly to her crotch. I muttered incoherent thoughts surrounded by obscene words, watching her hand frantically working at her pussy while I lapped at one cherry, then the other.

I eased off her breasts, thinking I'd hurt her when she grabbed my hand and pulled it away. Quickly, I realized it had nothing to do with hurting her. She simply needed it to be elsewhere. I allowed her to put it where she wanted it and let out a hiss as she placed her tiny hand over mine, guiding me to work her flesh in just the right way. My girl knew what she liked and she wasn't afraid to show me. It was the hottest fucking thing ever. My own erection was buried in my boxers, and I could feel the resentment oozing from it. It felt neglected. Left out of the fun. I sent a brain signal down to remind the big guy to behave. Be patient. This was about Bella, not us. It reminded me that I'd just taken her tits as I'd wanted. I couldn't argue. I also couldn't stop it from poking its head out of the waistband for a look of its own. It seemed to make it happier.

The moonlight poured into the room, illuminating the sheen of sweat on Bella's porcelain skin. She had wet strands of hair stuck to her forehead, and she was chomping down on her lip as ethereal whimpers of desire spilled from her. Her back was arched, her knees bent and feet flat on the mattress, holding her pussy up high and proud. My prized titties followed gravity, bouncing towards her chin as she bucked against my palm.

"Fuck… Edward…"

"That's it, baby. Keep it coming," I encouraged her softly, hearing frustration in her voice.

"Fuck! Don't stop!" She bucked wildly, pressing my hand so hard I could barely manoeuver it. My thumb, however, found its way free and flicked against her in such a way that drew out a short, sharp cry as she added her other hand to the pile. "Don't stop… please. Don't. Stop," she cried out in pants.

My mouth was dying to get in on the action. I debated my options: stay where I could enjoy the view – because truly, it was beyond anything my imagination had ever cooked up – or boldly dive in before she reached the finish line. I debated just a moment too long. Her long legs stiffened, small but mighty hands gripped my hand which gripped her mound, and her head rolled back and forth as she whimpered and laughed, hiccupped and moaned, followed by a strong declaration: "Holy FUCK! That was hot."

She didn't have to tell me. My erection nodded in agreement.

Nodded?

Yes, it was more than a twitch, it was a nod. I peeked down to see what the hell it was doing. It appeared to be self-pleasuring against the elastic of my boxers. I swear it winked at me before spewing across my stomach.

Bella choked on a laugh, catching the last scene of its act. Covering her mouth to prevent more laughter, she managed to get an apology out. It didn't matter. I was already laughing. And breathing heavily. Sweating. And completely in love.

"You don't even need to be touched?"

"Like I said, it wouldn't take long for me."

"Oh my…"

"I swear it gets better," I quickly added, chuckling nervously. "It has better control of itself in action. Being on the sidelines as it was, it just wanted to try to steal the show."

"It worked," she said with a laugh as she wiped the goop from my stomach with the discarded shirt she'd yanked off.

"Not even close. Bella, that was the show of a lifetime." I grinned euphorically. "God, if that's only chapter four, you'll kill me by the ending."

"How does it end, this book of yours?"

I pulled her down onto my chest, letting her boobs flatten against me. "The best way possible. Just wait and see."

"Don't die on me," she whispered, stroking my cheek. "I can't live without you."

"I'm not going anywhere. And neither are you. The book is our story and we have to see it through."

Happily, she nestled into me once more. "I'm not getting dressed, by the way. You okay with that?"

"If you even attempted to put that shirt back on, full of my ejaculate, I'd have to toss you out."

"Seriously? You'd toss me out for that?"

I pretended to think on that while she stared at me in anticipation. "Bella, if your breasts had to be covered, I'd much rather they be covered with my mouth, hands, or a large serving of whipped cream than my come-filled shirt."

"Ooooh, dirty-talker!" Her delightful laugh filled the room. I didn't bother responding with, 'You should talk… please.' It was implied by my spontaneous outburst down below.

As I felt her breathing slow against my chest, I remained awake for a good hour or more, stroking her hair and thinking of how uncomfortable that whole scene would have been for me with anyone else. Not that I didn't enjoy sex of any kind, but the first encounters were always filled with awkwardness for me. A little hint of my old self wondering if I'd be good enough. Wondering if I'd make an ass of myself. Wondering if I'd make a baby that would kill the woman lying beside me.

That could never happen. Not with Bella.

Never.

A/N ~ In light of the recent events that spawned animated discussion amongst friends, a couple of them asked me if I'd keep writing. I'm sure that was discussed between many people - writers and readers alike. So I'm bringing a similar question to all of you: Will you stop reading B/E fanfics now? Or will you read more because fantasy is always so much better than RL anyway? Do you even picture K/R as the characters when you read? Is anyone put off writing themselves? As I responded myself, I still plan to keep at it (time willing!), but what say you? Will there still be readers out there? Hello...? Hello? Is this thing on?

;)

I don't want to open a sensitive topic for bashing and the like, out of respect for the real people. My heart goes out to them for having their most private ordeal dragged out in public. I'm really just interested in knowing if this fandom is affected by the stir. I'd appreciate your thoughts. And thanks for reading this far. ;) XX ~ SR