Chapter 3
"Dr. Banner's office, Bella speaking."
"Hello, Bella. This is Edward again." I immediately move my body into a more provocative pose because his voice makes me want to do dirty, dirty things. Okay, so provocative might be a stretch...but at least I'm not picking the strawberry seeds out of my teeth anymore.
"Mmm, hi? I mean, how may I help you?" I stammer. Fantastic. I hear a seductive voice and I'm reduced to babbling. Alice is right - I do need to get out and meet some men.
"I'm a bit upset, Bella." Geez, the way he says my name makes me a little sweaty. "I've called a few times now and left messages and Jasper still hasn't called me back." I wonder what the problem is with Jasper not returning his calls. I know he got the messages. Maybe Jasper drew up some formula on the back of them. That's the sort of thing he was prone to do.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Edward. I gave him the messages. I'll remind him to call you when he gets in."
"It's really important, Bella." He sounds so anxious.
Sigh. He must be really into Jasper's sister to keep calling like this. And he must be a dick if Jasper really isn't returning the calls. So my reply is a little bitchy.
"Like I said, I will give him the message. If he's not busy, I guess he'll call you."
I hear him sigh on the line. "Fine."
He mutters a goodbye then hangs up. Whatever. So I won't get to hear your voice anymore, Phone-sex. It's not like I had my vibrator at work anyways.
I return to planning my schedule for the new semester. Seth is starting little league baseball, and I have to rearrange my days. And nights. And weekends. Sigh. Just when I thought my life couldn't get any busier. But Seth was born to play baseball. I just have to keep him from turning out to be an asshole like every other player.
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"Damn it! Almost there," I grunt. I'm bending over the copy machine, desperately trying to pull out the toner cartridge and a wad of stuck paper when I hear it.
"Excuse me."
I straighten and freeze in place. I know that voice. It's the one that talks dirty to me when I'm, uh, de-stressing at night.
"You're Bella?"
"Uh huh." Before I turn around, I brace myself in case he really is butt ugly and I really don't want to make that grimace face. You know the one.
Because that would be rude. And I've already treated the man to the sight of my wiggling ass as I played tug-of-war with the copier when he walked in, so I've got to maintain my high level of decorum. I am a professional woman, you know. I turn around slowly and pretend I'm not dying of mortification.
"I'm Edward Cullen."
Eep. I'm pretty sure I squeak. Outloud. Because Edward Cullen is the guy from the bar that made me drool and is currently standing in front of me with an amused look on his face. And he doesn't have any unsightly bulges on his body. In fact, all of his bulges beg to be sighted. Repeatedly. In hi-def.
Phone-sex-slash-Edward is waiting for me to say something. And...I got nothin'.
Except for a string of consonant sounds that I expel with a tiny bit of saliva. Okay, it was more than a tiny bit, but less than one of those spit lines that hang from your mouth like when you're at the dentist.
That would be embarrassing.
Even more embarrassing than the fact that Edward is still waiting for me to say something other than "hmmkjjkyykskksl."
I choke out a "hi" and attempt to salvage some dignity by emulating one of my female role models.
What would Blanche do in this situation?
No, no, no. Wrong Golden Girl. I resist the urge to bat my eyelashes and proposition him using a southern accent, and instead ask, "How can I help you, Mr. um, Cullen?" I walk over to the counter so I can sniff, er, help him.
"Edward, please," he says with a grin that makes me feel things. Private things that are the subjects of televison after-school specials. And porn.
"Yes, Edward, please," I murmur without thinking. Oh fuck. "I mean, please tell me what I can do to you. For you." I've leaned forward so that we're about two feet apart. He must have magnetic properties pulling me toward him. His eyes are green like chlorine gas when it mixes with...no, it's more like hydrated copper carbonate. Damn. I'm so done for.
He chuckles as he rests his arms on the counter in front of him. Even his forearms are sexy. Look at those veins. He has the good kind. Not like the vericose ones on the old lady that lives next door.
"I'm here to see Jasper. I was tired of waiting for him to return my calls. He can't avoid me now," he says.
"He's supposed to come in soon, if you don't mind waiting."
"No problem. I've found something to occupy my attention." Oh my, that grin again. If he winks at me, it'll be hard not to throw myself across the counter and...I don't know...do something nasty. But fun.
"I have work to do, so..." I trail off because his face is so, so pretty and it makes me forget things. Like how to talk. And breathe.
"Yeah. I was watching you work." He grins and gestures toward the copier with his head.
"Oh," I say, not moving away from him. "I-"
"I'm a big boy, Bella," he says. Like he needs to tell me that. I'm already picturing myself wrapped around him and tucked under his chin. "You don't have to entertain me." Gulp. But I really want to. "Just tell me if he'll be here by three-thirty. I have cages at four o'clock."
"Cages?" I ask. My throat tightens around the word.
"Yeah. For batting practice. I'm on the team here."
"I know what cages are for," I say angrily.
"Sorry," he says with a confused look. "It's just that you asked..."
"Not because I didn't know about cages. I was surprised that you are one of them." I can feel the heat rising in my face. "I should have known it - you being all hot and muscle-y," I mutter, swallowing my disappointment.
"I'm what?"
"Ball player."
"No, you said I was hot-"
"Doesn't matter." You're also an asshole. "You're just like all the rest."
Edward looks at me, eyes blinking in surprise. "You don't even know me."
"I know enough. I hate ball players."
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A/N I loved reading all your comments and theories. I'm still working on review replies, but I'll get there.
Cosmogirl - "Thank you, thank you, the wind beneath my wings." Freals.
Props to rtgirl for prereading.
And no, my Edward would never have goiters (though Goiterward is an awesome nickname), and my Bella would never be slutty.