A/N Why am I doing this? Well, sometimes I just feel like doing something silly/stupid that everyone will probably flame me for. This story sprouted from a Skype conversation *cough* Clock, Ari *cough* and when the idea came up; I just couldn't resist.
Note: I don't condone any underlying themes in this or the show, SERIOUSLY. This is just used for comedic relief. Just a joke fic I'm dedicating to a handful of people -you know who you are.
Based from the show on NBC: To catch a predator...
To Catch A Cinder.
Anything in Italics is told from a SHOW HOST POV!
Cinder Fall sat at home, alone, surfing through TV channels after a long day at work. She hated her job at the office, but it paid the bills and put spending money in her pocket; so she couldn't complain.
Her usual routine had already been put in place, drive home from work, stop at Qrow's café for a sandwich, and return home, and watch TV in her pajamas. Some days she'd call up her friend Roman and go out for drinks, but this evening she just felt like lazing around.
But her 'routine' had been slightly altered as of a few days ago. The source? Qrow's café. She was a regular customer there and knew the majority of the staff on a friendship level. They treated her nice and in turn she brought them business; be it herself or her friends.
But there was one staff member -a new one- that had caught her interest.
Maybe a little too much.
A young girl with midnight black hair highlighted by Crimson tips. Her face was adorable to say the least, and her figure was well sculpted; her tight fitting waitress outfit emphasizing each aspect of her body.
So, Cinder was intrigued, and the following day had asked Qrow -the obvious owner of the place- who she was. Qrow had laughed at her for showing such interest in the girl, and Cinder would've felt insulted by that.
If Qrow hadn't told her she was fifteen.
Her name was Ruby Rose, she's... fifteen, and Qrow's niece. He had given her the job based on the fact she was family, and so far Ruby was doing an exceptional job as a busboy, or rather, busgirl.
When Qrow had told her Ruby's age; Cinder felt a little sad? Odd? She didn't know. The thing she DID know was that Ruby was incredibly attractive.
And that leads us back to where she is now; still sitting on her couch mulling over the little Ruby Rose. In the background a random show on NBC is on. A show her friend Emerald had told her about, but had forgotten the name.
To catch a... something. She couldn't remember.
TV aside, Cinder's mind drifted to Ruby again. She knew it was wrong and weird to think of a girl like that but... she couldn't help it! Since when we're girls her age so attractive!
"Oh god what am I thinking!" She called herself out. The woman tried to avert her focus back to mindless TV. She flicked the channel, surfing through until she settled on something random. On the screen was a woman, roughly her age; in a clothing advertisement.
Cinder leaned forward and scrutinized the on-screen model.
And immediately replaced her with Ruby.
She imagined Ruby, modeling for her and her alone. The dark haired woman imagined Ruby in all sorts of clothing; from v-neck sweaters, to tight jeans, all the way down to br-
Cinder shot up from the couch, inadvertently knocking her bowl of chips over in the process.
'That thought went south fast...'
The woman shook her body and left the living room, completely ignoring the mess on the floor. She made her way into the small kitchen her home offered and decided to find something to drink. The ebony haired woman rummaged through the contents of her refrigerator, only to find a couple cans of cola.
She set the cans on the counter to her right and began to look for a glass, only to come face to face with the surmounting dirty dishes in the sink.
Dirty dishes...
Ruby cleans dirty dishes...
She went off in thought again. This time she imagined Ruby in her house cleaning the dishes for her. Her skin glistening in soap and water...
"Stop it!" Cinder mentally kicked herself. No matter how hard she tried, Cinder couldn't erase the image of the sweet young girl from her mind. Her conscience frosted over with awkwardness and a hint of... arousal.
'Maybe a nap will help...'
Her new idea seemed sound enough. Deciding to use sleep to rid her mind of such odd ideas, Cinder nestled herself back on the couch and returned to channel surfing. Her eyelids became heavier as some boring NBC show blared in the background. Fueled by a tiring day at work and some less than desirable thoughts; Cinder quickly surrendered to the allure of sleep...
Good evening, and welcome to: NBC's Dateline: To Catch A Predator. On tonight's episode we start off with the strange case between an adult woman, and a young teen.
Ruby Rose: a young girl who works with her Uncle at a cafe in southeastern Vale. She's just fifteen years old. We were contacted by her Uncle Qrow regarding the strange occurrences between Ruby and an older woman.
Ruby had told her Uncle about how this woman had come onto her in a more non-traditional way; something along the lines of fraternizing with the girl.
The woman? Twenty-seven year old Cinder Fall. A businesswoman who works in southeastern Vale as well. Cinder doesn't have a history with these types of situations, but this goes to show; that some people still, haven't learned the lesson this show is trying to teach.
So, tomorrow so, naturally we set up our decoy, and got in contact with Cinder over the Web. Cinder believes that the person she is chatting with is Ruby Rose herself, and has no clue it's our decoy.
Under her online alias too vulgar to read on camera; we tracked some of Cinder's conversations with our decoy:
C: So, a right?
R: Yeah at noon, what'd you have in mind?
C: I was thinking maybe I could -bleep- on your -bleep- until you -bleep-?
R: I guess, I'm not sure.
This was the most recent, of many conversations we've been tracking over the past month. We've invited Cinder to this home just on the outskirts of Vale. Under the pretense that she will finally get to meet Ruby Rose.
Having the chat she shared with Ruby, Cinder currently pulled into the driveway of Ruby's house. An average - looking two story home located in a suburban neighborhood not too far from her own place.
The woman checked her watch for the umpteenth time in the past hour, and smiled as she arrived just on time.
Inside, waiting for Cinder is our decoy and the same person she's been talking to online: Eighteen year old Emerald Surstrai. Emerald is going to be posing as Ruby's sister Yang's girlfriend on her way out of the house.
Knock Knock Knock!
Cinder pulled her fist back from the cold door and waited for an answer. She'd been anticipating this moment all day. The moment she could finally meet little Rose girl. Not once over the past while had it occurred to Cinder that maybe her 'interactions' with Ruby were of the unethical or illegal variety.
Eventually the door was answered upon. Only to reveal someone who WAS NOT Ruby.
Standing before Cinder was a girl roughly the same height with Crimson eyes and almost - teal hair. Her dark skin was clad in a sage sweatshirt and faded khakis.
"You must be... Cinder?" She greeted.
"Yes, and you?"
"Emerald. I'm Yang's girlfriend."
Cinder relaxed a little. "O-kay, and where's Ruby?"
"She's... upstairs getting ready. Come on in." Emerald beckoned, maybe a little too friendly.
Hesitantly, Cinder followed Emerald into the home and directly towards the living room. Cinder took her place in a chair adjacent to a sofa Emerald had sat on and began to wait.
"So." Emerald tutted. "What's your plan with Ruby, hm?"
The woman shot her a glare. "That's not really your business is it?" She spat.
"Then, whose business is it then?" A third voice intervened.
Startled, Cinder jerked her head to the other end of the den, entering from it was a man maybe in his late forties with smooth gray hair. His suit was deep black with green accenting, and in his right hand was a small tablet.
Uh - oh
Cinder stood up, "W-What's going on?"
"Have a seat Cinder." The man gestured. "Emerald you can go."
Cinder slowly sat back down, a nervous tick slowly creeping up her spine. "Cinder I'm Ozpin, and I know what you've been doing."
"What're you talking about?" Cinder was already starting to squirm.
"Your very provocative conversations with a minor perhaps?" Ozpin took a seat opposite to hers and stared Cinder down.
"Please elaborate." Cinder snickered a bit.
Ozpin glared back. "Do you think this is a joke?"
"N-No! I'm just..."
Ozpin leaned forward and eyed his tablet. "You're just what? Wanting to, and I quote, 'Meld your body with Ruby's?' Is that it?"
Cinder quickly thought on her feet. "I thought she was sixteen!"
Ozpin rolled his eyes and flashed the ebony haired woman a blank stare, clearly conveying her saw right through her crappy lie.
"Why'd you do it?" He calmly asked.
"I just wanted to be her friend..." She trailed off.
"So a fifteen year old friend is a normal thing?"
"Well..."
"Cinder." Ozpin stalled. "Do you know the repercussions of such an act?"
Cinder quickly thought of one last effort. Knowing what was coming, she leaped off the couch and down to the floor by Ozpin's shoes. "I don't want to go to jail!" She begged.
"Oh? Well, if you walk out that door; none of this ever happened." Out of Cinder's vision; Ozpin was crossing his fingers.
"G-Good, this'll never happen again!" Cinder dashed out of the den and back to the foyer. She hastily put her shoes on and opened the door. The woman didn't even make it two steps before she was flanked by three Vale Police Force officers.
"VPD! Hands where we can see them!" A red - haired, green eyed officer called out.
"Oh Shit!" Cinder cried, instinctively, she ducked into the yards bushes and ran along the side facade of the house.
"Schnee this is Belladonna, creep is headed your way."
Not even looking over her shoulder, Cinder mounted a fence and reached the side street on the other side. She brushed her blazer off and nervously jogged down the street. She did a quick shoulder check and smiled as there was not an officer in-
VRROOMM!
"Damn!" She shouted as a police cruiser came around the corner. She quickened her pace to a sprint in an attempt to avoid capture. It was to no avail however as there was no way she was out running a cop car.
The car quickly caught up to her at a four-way stop and cut her off. An aviator toting white - haired woman exited the driver's seat as Cinder dived over the car's hood. Officer Schnee, realizing Cinder wasn't going to comply, pulled a taser from her belt and chased after her. Once in range, she activated it and fired at the fleeing woman.
The end of the gun shot out and latched onto Cinder's back. The woman instantaneously collapsed to the ground in a jittery mess. Her words barely audible through her clattering teeth.
"Gotcha creep." The officer called out. She knelt down to the shaking Cinder and rolled her onto her back, the clicking of handcuffs could be heard. "You're under arrest!"
...
"I don't want to go to jail!"
Cinder bolted up from her nap, she rolled off of the couch and hit the floor with an audible thud. The woman sat up and scratched the back of her head. Looking around she noticed that she was in fact in her living room, and NOT pinned to the sidewalk.
"It was just a nightmare..."
Groggily Cinder stood up, and slowly something else set in her mind;
"I've got to find a new café."
Qrow lost a valuable customer that day...