Disclaimer: Nope don't own Naruto, and I never will. I'm only saying this because I'm at gunpoint. I do own Naruto…I mean I don't!
Story: Fem!Naru Minato tells Kushina to flee to Suna, if something were to go wrong in Konoha after his death. Because of this, somehow Naruto is raised in the Sand.
Set as an AU.
Spoilers: …Probably?
Warnings: The usual stuff? I mean, most people who read my stuff are repeated readers, so they should know…otherwise…eh…
Pairings: Yondy!Kazekage/Fem!Naru

Suna no Hoshi
Chapter Nine: Maligned Bridges I

"Why are you pretending to be someone else when you are with Naruto?" Gaara demanded to know.

Rasa sighed. Both of his sons had finally managed to corner him a week since they arrived back home to Suna, after their trip to the Wind Capital (they must be really determined, seeing as how he would have been able to keep away longer). He hadn't really known how this was going to go, but the more he realized he had to tell Naruto the truth, the more he knew he had to tell his family first and let them know what was going on and who she really was.

"What's this? Dad's pretending to be someone?"

He inwardly groaned. And now Temari was involving herself…

"Dad's pretending to be some guy named Tenoh, while he's with our teammate," Kankuro caught her up. "Who we hadn't known he's been consorting with for a long time now."

Rasa snorted. "Consorting?" he asked dryly, glaring lightly at his kids, as Temari had joined the other two eagerly.

"Yes! Consorting!" Kankuro said in an accusing tone. "What are you up to?!"

He twitched. "Why am I automatically the bad guy?"

"Because," Temari said nonchalantly, but didn't elaborate.

He twitched again.

Gaara further explained what's been going on and how they'd found out to Temari, who looked fascinated and increasingly curious and interested.

"I have something to say about all this," Rasa announced loudly, purposely interrupting. His three kids quickly focused on him, eerily intense in their staring. His irritation suddenly became anxiety and he licked his lips. "Actually, there's more to Naruto than practically this entire village knows. You see, I know her parents."

And then he was explaining who they were, how and why Kushina had come to Suna and brought Naruto there, how she'd died and he'd tried all these years to look for Naruto unsuccessfully, and how he finally found her and realized who she was.

He hadn't expected for Kankuro to burst out laughing. "Oh geez, Dad. Really? You didn't catch her all this time because you didn't know she was actually a girl?"

"…And that's what you got from all of that?" Rasa deadpanned, staring at his son strangely.

Kankuro blushed, shrugging. "It's hilarious."

Temari nodded along, looking at him apologetically. "Sorry, Dad. But he's right. It kind of really is."

A brief smirk flitted across Gaara's lips, before he frowned.

"Then I am completely certain in my assumption that Naruto is that little girl from all those years ago," he murmured, rather confusing his family.

"Elaborate, Gaara. We can't all read minds," Temari prodded, quite literally with a finger as well, earning a sulking glare from her youngest brother.

He reluctantly told them about his rather well-kept secret about how he'd met a blonde angel, who had given him flowers and helped him make friends. He also told them about his recognition and his guess that Naruto was that girl, upon the second day after the formation of their team.

Kankuro burst out laughing again. "She's the one who got you into flower pressing?"

Gaara growled under his breath and used his sand to grab his brother's ankle, lifting him up and putting Kankuro upside down.

"Hey, hey! Let me down! Dad!" Kankuro whined.

Rasa huffed. "A few more seconds, Gaara. That should teach you, Kankuro."

However, that revelation of Gaara's made him uneasily remember the chibi 'angel' of his own, that he had vaguely seen back in the hospital, and the glitter...

He was completely sure it was her, even without proof, but he would no way in hell mention that incident with anyone. Not even if his life depended on it.

Like hell he would say anything about being glitter-fied and put into some princess role and-and-and –Damn it all, the whole thing was just too embarrassing.

Though a part of him thought it was kind of adorable Naruto had put herself as some "Princess Charming," as she called herself, and wanted to help him even then. It was all kinds of sweet, he would admit.

But he was still never talking about it. Ever.

Kankuro was finally righted and he sat back on his seat grumbling about the unfairness of it all, while Gaara and Temari went back to focusing on him with twin looks of scary intensity.

Rasa inwardly sighed. What was wrong with his kids?

"Okay, so now you know," he started. "I'd wanted you guys to know and be prepared, because I'll be telling her the truth as well, soon enough. I really think she should know…and I was hoping to ask her if she wanted to move in with us. If you guys are okay with it?"

"Yeah! Naru-chan is moving in with us, Gaara!" Kankuro cheered, while Gaara had a look of satisfaction on his face.

Temari got up dreamily, practically floating away from them. "The Desert Prince is coming to move in with us…"

Rasa blinked, scrunching up his eyebrows. "The…Desert Prince?"

Kankuro coughed awkwardly. "Uh…Baki-sensei never expanded too much on that little tidbit, did he?"

Rasa looked at his son, raising an eyebrow in question.

Kankuro winced. "Well, it's like this…"

Gaara escaped from that awkward talk, deciding it best to retreat. He should go find a good room for Naruto to move into, maybe get a head start on decorating it to her liking…Definitely one near him. Perhaps she would like some of the pressed flowers he had, to decorate her room…

For Rasa, after that enlightening "bonding time" (he snorted at that) with his kids, he went to start his day and work finally. He felt rather anxious about it, since he knew that he hadn't shown up at his usual time, or at all, to his office, and that Naruto had probably been worried and rather upset at his absence in her usual routine.

He quickly went through his paperwork, glad that he managed to finish most of it rather quickly, and periodically glanced out his window and wondered if Naruto could see him right then. It was later than even his latest, but he hoped she was still there and would be happy to see him even for just a bit.

He decided the rest of what was left of his paperwork could be done later, and sped over to the noodle bar, hoping she would be there. To his luck, she was there and chatting with Kazuhiro as she ate what looked to be, according to the stack of bowls next to her, her fourth bowl of ramen.

"Tenoh! I thought I'd missed you!" she immediately spotted him.

Giving back an easy smile, he slid into a seat next to her and said his order before focusing on her.

"Mornin'," he leaned on the counter lazily, his easy smile turning a little quirky.

"Morning," Naruto grinned back. "No mission for you yet, lazy ninja?"

"It's not my fault I'm more useful in the village," he poked her forehead, but inwardly he felt guilty. It was a true statement, but he knew she'd read that differently from what was truth.

"When are you going to be back on duty anyway?" Naruto asked curiously. "You went with us that one time, I remember. You seem like you're fine and stuff, so I don't really know why you're off duty."

Rasa's smile faltered. "I-it's personal."

She still looked confused but didn't push, and he wanted to pull his hair out and blurt out everything right then.

For Kami's sake, there were some people around them in the noodle bar that was staring oddly at their out of uniform Kazekage! (He had been lucky enough that usually he and Naruto were alone at the noodle bar.)

"Tenoh, here," she handed him a parcel covered with a cutesy pink handkerchief, with chibi foxes and raccoons decorating it (he wondered if she realized how ironic that was).

He took it from above, by the tied knot, and his smile returned full force. He ignored Kazuhiro's suddenly rather loud and cheerful humming, someone's squeal of "How cute!" and surrounding giggles around them.

"I made takoyaki! I made a lot, so instead of packing a few for you to try, I made you a bento box," she was smiling so happily at him and just beaming, that he had the hugest urge to coo and throw his arms around her and cuddle her.

He was horrified. He'd never had that urge before. Ever.

"Do you want to eat some with me?" he asked, inwardly shaking off that thought.

She suddenly pouted. "Actually, I'm late for meeting my team. I gotta go now. I hope you like 'em?"

"I'm sure I will," he assured her and she left him behind.

"Here, Tenoh-san," Kazuhiro said dryly, placing a small sauce container in front of him. "Tsuyu for your takoyaki."

"Be quiet, Kazuhiro," Rasa sent him a glare, even though he took the dipping sauce anyway. "I'll demote you."

"I'm retired, Kazekage-sama."

"I'll demote you anyway."

The noodle chef just smirked to himself, cooking more noodles.

After that, Rasa went back to his office and was immediately cornered and rushed into his office by a frazzled Baki.

"You! Explain yourself!" Baki ordered.

He sighed and resigned himself to explaining the whole situation again, this time to Baki. It took a bit, but at least the jounin seemed much more reassured and less confused about the whole matter.

"Aren't you supposed to meet your team?" Rasa raised an eyebrow at him, remembering that Naruto had rushed to meet the others.

"…This was more pressing at the moment," Baki told him shortly, though the look on his face said that he had also forgotten about that.

Baki gave him one last huff before leaving him, and Rasa reluctantly went back to work. He finished rather quickly, considering how he had unusually done work (and a lot of it) that morning when he'd arrived. He decided he could go and hand out some missions. If he was lucky "Team Kickass" would be there…

He snickered under his breath.

For awhile, the missions-giving went slow and boring, but then a client came in and Rasa took one long look at the man. The old man seemed like he'd gone through one hell of a journey, looking roughed up and out of sorts, holding onto a saké bottle loosely in one hand.

"I…I would like to request a C-rank for my return trip to Wave, as well as to help watch over the construction of the bridge I am working on. My name is Tazuna," the man said nervously, introducing himself as an afterthought.

"Wave, huh…" Rasa murmured. Something seemed very off to him, especially with the man's demeanor adding to the oddity of the situation. "If I recall, Wave is closer to Konoha. Why didn't you contact them for a C-rank prior to setting out on this…journey of yours?"

Normally, a mission was a mission and he wouldn't question it, and especially wouldn't want to practically give one over to Konoha (more so since those Leaf-nin had been eating up their missions that were supposed to go to them). However, there was too many warning bells being set off in his head, and since he had been thinking of giving this mission to Baki's team, then he was going to be certain of all the details.

He could see Tazuna visibly swallow. "That is, you see, I…I was going to go to Konoha originally…In fact, I had been…I'd just gotten sidetracked."

Rasa raised an eyebrow. "All the way to here, in Wind Country and my village?"

Tazuna winced. "I, uh, yes. I was on my way…and there was this thing…and I had gotten onto something…that brought me all the way to here…where I found Suna?"

Rasa hid his twitch. "If you want to hire my ninja, I suggest you become more forthcoming," he let the slightest of his KI out just to intimidate the man, and manipulate him into talking because of the unknown pressure. "Or you won't be leaving this room," he added incentive, his Anbu taking the hint with two of them becoming visible and appearing suddenly by the entrance and blocking it.

He could see Tazuna start sweating and had gulped audibly.

''I-I…" and then Tazuna confessed that he was being hunted by ninja, and that he had been heading to Konoha until he'd been waylaid by bandits who were hired by some character named Gato to kidnap him. He escaped from them, but got lost and had to ask for a ride from a caravan, who ended up somewhere nowhere near Wave or Konoha…or Fire Country for that matter. He'd been knocked out the entire ride, due to his ordeal with the kidnapping and had heard Suna was near to his location, and made his way here.

Rasa thought it over (he was rather impressed with the civilian, who was amazingly rather shinobi-like and resilient). It would be beneficial to Suna to accept this mission, especially since they were low on missions and they needed to accept any missions that came their way. Plus, it was a one up on Konoha, who kept stealing missions from them…and it would be even greater that they would be getting to do the same, specifically given that Wave was a neighboring country and a potential ally Suna could steal for themselves, right from under Konoha's nose.

"Very well," Rasa nodded surely. "I'll grant this mission. In fact, you can still pay for it as a C-rank. A genin team will have to take it, however, but it'll be the best genin team Suna has. I assure you that they can more than take on whatever comes their way. I will demand that, aside for payment of a C-rank, that once your bridge is complete and is starting to bring in income, that a percentage goes to Suna, for our help and the huge discount afforded to you. We will discuss the percentage later, though I assure you that at least we won't be asking too steep a price, given that Suna also knows the hardship of poverty and is still trying overcome it from the last shinobi war, unlike certain other villages," Rasa played the sympathy and 'alike' cards, and continued to prod at Konoha with a metaphorical stick.

He inwardly snickered. Take that, Leaf bastards!

"Additionally, as I have a meeting with the Hokage in two weeks, I will be accompanying you. Luckily for you, you will also be having the protection of a kage, for at least two weeks."

Tazuna looked ecstatic at that, while Rasa patted himself on the back mentally. He got out of doing his paperwork and he got to spend time with his sons and Naruto.

"Why don't you find one of the resting rooms here to wait in, while I call your team?" Rasa suggested. While Tazuna did so, Rasa had one of his Anbu go collect the team, who came not too long after.

"So, Team 'Kickass,'" he addressed them in amusement. "Ready for another C-rank?"

"I change my mind!" Baki cried out suddenly. "We'll call ourselves Team BAMF instead!"

"Yes!" Naruto cheered, pumping a fist into the air, while Kankuro pouted.

"At least people won't really know what BAMF means and it doesn't sound too conspicuous like 'Team Kickass,'" Baki muttered.

Naruto patted Kankuro's back. "Don't worry. You can still call us and introduce us as Team Kickass. It'll be an alternative name."

"That being said, for the official documents, must we call ourselves 'Team Baki?'" Gaara interrupted. "We've been discussing it, and it would be mundane for us to go along with that. As non-traditional as we really are and have become, the team as a whole have decided that it would be best to go with something else."

"Something…else?" Rasa blinked.

"Team Orange," Gaara concluded, seeing as Naruto was again shy and odd around his father and Kankuro was still pouting. "Because red and yellow makes orange. Brown just makes it burnt orange."

"What are you talking about?" Rasa stared at his youngest.

In unison, Gaara, Kankuro, and Naruto pointed at their hair.

"Baki-sensei has no hair, so his stands clear and our color stays the same," Kankuro cheerfully added.

Baki developed a tick near his eye and he began to look murderous. Rasa coughed, gaining their attention and thankfully diverting a potential murder (or several murders).

"So that C-rank…"

Suddenly, the team looked very eager and were looking at him so intensely, Rasa was rather surprised he hadn't combusted already. Of course he was being sarcastic, but it was a thought to get into…

"It isn't really a C-rank," he started, gaining confused looks instead. "It's more of a B-rank, or even A-rank. However, due to certain conditions, it's being paid as a C-rank. I will accompany you for a few weeks, as I have a meeting with the Hokage to head to around that time. Keep in mind, that should you succeed in completing this mission successfully, that it could be very beneficial to Suna."

When the team only had to trade a look with each other, communicating silently, before turning to him and agreeing quickly to take on the mission, Rasa hid his proud smile and began to tell them the mission specifics and anything else they would need to know. Then he had Tazuna brought in, and he never thought the shit could hit the fan so suddenly like this.

"They don't look like ninja," Tazuna said bluntly, staring at the genin team. "That one is wearing makeup, that one too –just with eyeliner –and he's super short, and the girl is way too pretty to be a ninja. She looks like a supermodel or something! Should she really be here?"

Before Rasa could react, all three of his favorite genin team began leaking very large amounts of KI, with their countenances darkening as they glared at Tazuna, who started sweating bullets again. Just as suddenly, they stopped glaring and their faces lightened up, and they smiled brightly at their new target.

The KI was still coating the air heavily and their smiles didn't look right (especially with their eyes close).

"Don't worry –" Kankuro was suddenly beside Tazuna, chakra strings immediately appearing and constricting around the man.

"Tazuna-san~ We will –" This time it was Naruto who appeared, behind Tazuna as she draped herself over his shoulders, purring out the words as a hidden weapon in her mouth appeared and pointed at Tazuna's jugular. The bridge builder gulped, nicking his skin on it.

"Protect you," Gaara finished with his monotone voice, appearing by Tazuna's other side and began enveloping the whole group in a sand sphere and hiding them from view.

"You are not supposed to attack your client," Rasa deadpanned, wearing a bland expression that was hidden by the veil.

There was a pause and silence, before slowly and reluctantly the sand retreated and revealed the group again. All three had pulled away from Tazuna, Kankuro pouting and Naruto looking chastised, while Gaara looked bored (though he too looked like he was hiding a pout).

Poor Tazuna looked faint…but he had brought it upon himself.

"I…concede," Tazuna choked out. "They're very ninja-like. I have nothing to complain about my escorts."

"Very well. If there's nothing else, Team…BAMF, you may proceed to gather your things and get ready for the mission. Meet at the gate in fifteen minutes. Tazuna-san, you will be escorted there by one of my personal shinobi, who will also be accompanying us on this mission. Please return to a waiting room to wait, and he'll come retrieve you soon," Rasa informed the man, ignoring the suspicious looks of his family and Baki while Naruto was oblivious.

When they all left, Rasa was left alone (minus his Anbu guards hiding around…and obviously snickering in amusement). He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed to himself. This was just going to be more trouble than it was worth…

And why did the feeling of dread seize his gut, and something told him that he was going to have a lot of trouble on this mission?

Maybe he should've stayed in Suna, stuck fighting Paperwork, boring meetings, and old and withered bats who liked to complain in his ear all the time.

Started 7/9/13 – Completed 7/15/13

A/n: It's Fate, I tell you! FATE! The Wave mission will haunt Naruto wherever she'll be! Really, the entirety of Wave was supposed to be just this one chapter, but it was getting long and I wanted to update this week since I didn't last week. So it's going to be split into two :D Wave, for real, next chapter –with infiltration, sword bonding, discussions over the best organ to attack, and clone mishaps. Also, if I want to do Killer Bee's genjutsu omake, I need to know which episode the takiyoki crime lord was in. I don't remember him, but I'd like to make him Bee's fixation. I hope you guys enjoyed! Enjoy or I'll turn creep Collector on you all! XD I won't go Ed Gein though, kolkoklkol~

To ISG: That would be an amusing image XD I think then, the monkey most likely end up just doing what normal internet users seem to do nowadays –Ashjkshdfjkhsf?!

Omake! (The Genjutsu Tales: Part IV)

"Goddamnit! NOT AGAIN!"

There was only so long that Obito could keep watch over Yagura. Sometimes, sometimes he had to leave –take a freakin' leak or something!

He comes back to see the fucking tower was flooded and he would have to swim to the basement where he locked up the damn Mizukage.

The thing about genjutsu and using them (and in essence the Sharingan) to control jinchuuriki…if you didn't have a constant and tight control of it, the jinchuuriki would go out of control and cause havoc on behalf of the genjutsu they're in, along with their tailed beast.

One more time…one more damn time, and he swore he'd murder the Mizukage and let the beast go and revive it.

In his place, floating in the middle of the ocean of water he'd created, Yagura dazedly stared out. He blew out his cheeks and then pushed out the air, creating an air bubble to escape from his mouth and into the water.

He giggled.

Started 7/16/13 – Completed 7/16/13

A/n: Killer Bee for realz.

Omake! (Tazuna's Heroic Journey aka The Long, Roughed Up, and Horrific Tales of Tazuna, the Bridge Builder)

If he was right, he'd be in Konoha in maybe a few days…

"It's the bridge builder! Tackle him!"

He was caught off guard when a bunch of disgusting men dog piled on him. Wasn't that overkill?!

Before he knew it, he was tied up and being loaded onto a wagon, whereupon they started traveling. But he would not be put down! He could get out of this.

He then took his saké bottle from out of nowhere, poured some onto the ropes biding his wrist, and then began rapidly rubbing it against something, first creating smoke and then full-fledged fire. Of course, it was only after the fact, that Tazuna panicked about having his wrists practically burning.

He yelped, hurried to get them off and then let it drop as he jumped out of the wagon in relief. He forgot about the burning ropes that began to burn the wagon, and the unsuspecting bandits controlling the wagon and the ones walking ahead.

He hurried to get away, only to trip over a rock and knock himself out.

Tazuna didn't realize he'd been picked up by a caravan, who were on their way to Wind Country. When he briefly woke up, he babbled something about needing to see ninjas, and then passed out again. He woke up completely in a dessert village, in which he realized with dismay, was nowhere near Konoha. But then he was told they were near Suna.

Bingo!

Besides, wasn't Konoha supposed to be a bunch of tree-huggers, or so people said?

Started 7/16/13 – Completed 7/16/13