Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a stretch of park land on the outskirts of Ponyville during the day. Pan away from a small stream.)
Babs Seed: (from o.s., excitedly) Hoof-biting action overload! She was like a stunt superstar—
(Stop on a fountain, next to which she is jumping up and down, and a bench, on which Fictionary Van Filly has settled down on her belly to read a book. Vincent was also there, staring at Scootaloo's flying tricks.)
Babs Seed: —flying higher and higher, and then Scootaloo swooped down, swoosh! (She zips o.s., then hops back.) And right before she hit the ground, shoom! (floating, then landing on hooves) She pulled up! Vroom!
Fictionary: (paying no attention) Uh-huh.
Babs Seed: And then she looped around and around, like woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!
(She mimics the action with her head, eventually becoming so dizzy that she collapses to the ground.)
Fictionary: Uh-huh.
(The orange earth pony has wound up on her back, giving her a good view of Scootaloo soaring overhead; she bounds up and races after the orange flyer.)
Fictionary: Phew!
Vincent: My goodness. She's got a lot of energy.
(Fictionary flips a page, using her teeth rather than magic, and keeps reading. Vincent rolls his eyes and gets to drawing. Cut to Scootaloo in flight.)
Babs Seed: (from o.s.) Oh, Scootaloo!
(Her eyes pop as she notices Babs Seed trotting along the park trail below, and she voices an annoyed little groan.)
Scootaloo: Babs Seed? Not again!
(She comes up with a burst of speed that prompts the earthbound admirer to follow suit.)
Babs Seed: Scootaloo!
Scootaloo: Not now, Babs Seed! (More speed; Babs Seed matches her.)
Babs Seed: But—but, Scootaloo!
Scootaloo: I'm in the middle of something!
Babs Seed: But—
Scootaloo: I said, not now!
(Her mid-air wind sprint ends very suddenly when she plows face first into a sheer rock wall. Zoom out to expose it as part of a very tall cliff, from which she slides down after sticking to it for a moment. She winds up in a heap, in front of Babs Seed.)
Babs Seed: I was gonna tell you to look out for that mountain.
(A groan of mixed pain and frustration from Scootaloo. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to an overhead view of the town square pavilion. Zoom in slowly as Babs Seed crosses the open area, humming to herself, then cut to a close-up and tilt up into the sky. Here, Scootaloo is napping on a cloud; the humming wakes her up, so she stuffs a wad of cloud into each ear—but even this is not enough to block out the sound. Down below, Babs Seed stops to address three ponies at a produce cart.)
Babs Seed: Hi! I'm looking for Scootaloo. Have you seen her?
(Scootaloo snaps bolt upright in a panic upon hearing this, the clouds falling away from her ears, and starts burrowing in to hide herself.)
Babs Seed: (from o.s.) Hi there! Have you seen Scootaloo?...Okay, thanks anyway. (Ground level; she finds Fictionary outside a bookshop with Vincent.) Fictionary, Vincent! Have you seen Scootaloo anywhere?
Fictionary: (pointing up) Isn't she right up there?
(Tilt quickly up to the cloud, from which only Scootaloo's rear half now protrudes vertically.)
Babs Seed: (from o.s., singsong) Scootaloo!
(Up comes the striped mane, a wisp of cloud adhering to it over a truly freaked-out face. She looks one way, then another, and takes off with enough speed to pulverize the rest of the cloud. Babs Seed, completely unfazed, begins hopping along the road after her at a leisurely pace. Scootaloo streaks through the sky, punching holes in several clouds and buzzing over Sweet Apple Acres, and takes cover behind one corner of the barn. A peek around it shows the coast to be clear.)
Scootaloo: Phew! That was close.
(Or maybe not, as seen when the turns to leave and finds the orange wacko standing right in front of her.)
Babs Seed: Hi!
(That one word is enough to get Scootaloo flying again with a scream; this time, she rockets through the orchard, blowing a few apples loose—and here comes the equine pogo stick again. Scootaloo makes a break for it through Ponyville proper and plunges into the tree branches of the library. This shot reveals the entire structure, including one top-floor detail not yet seen: the observatory platform attached to the highest limb is outfitted with a telescope.)
(After a quick peek through the leaves, Scootaloo begins to catch her breath and relax—only to find a moment later that she is actually sitting on Babs Seed's head.)
Babs Seed: Hi again!
(Another yell and high-speed bug-out, this one ranging over meadowlands and up a distant hill, and once again Babs Seed takes her time following. High overhead, the unstrung pegasus tiptoes away from a cloud she had used as a hideout and descends to the shore of a small lake. All clear on land, but the water is a different story; up pops a magenta-maned pink head sporting a diving mask and a snorkel. Surfacing a bit farther to expose "floaties" and swim fins on her forelegs, Babs Seed spits out the snorkel and props the mask on her forehead.)
Babs Seed: I need a favor, Scootaloo.
(The escapee lets off a cry and rises into the air for her fourth flyaway, but stops herself.)
Scootaloo: (resignedly) Oh, forget it. (She flops down.)
Babs Seed: I totally promise, it'll be totally fun!
Scootaloo: (sighing) Okay.
(Dissolve to the uppermost portion of the pavilion, with Scootaloo adjusting the position of a nearby cloud. Two pink hooves extend into view from above and below, framing the effort—this is Babs Seed's perspective, and the camera cuts to her after a moment. She works her hooves around through several angles, squinching her eyes as well; Scootaloo makes adjustments as she calls them out. Babs Seed has dried out and disposed of her swimming gear.)
Babs Seed: Over to the right!...No, no, a little to the left!...Oh, wait! Back to the right!
(Close-up of Scootaloo, whose patience is starting to wear thin; she tweaks the cloud right a bit.)
Babs Seed: (from o.s.) Now, a little leftish while staying rightly.
(The assistant does her best to follow this one.)
Babs Seed: (from o.s.) Stop! (Back to her.) Hmmm…maybe a few inches to the south!
(The roof of the pavilion again.)
Babs Seed: (from o.s.) Now a couple of centimeters north! (Rainbow drags the cloud into view.) Okay, one more smidge-a-meter to the—
Scootaloo: BABS SEED! (Long shot of the pair.)
Babs Seed: Uh, I mean, perfect! Now, wait for my signal.
(The cloud has ended up almost exactly above the front doors. Babs Seed peeks through a window; inside, Spines is collecting an armload of scrolls from a cubbyhole rack and humming the original My Little Pony theme. He exits the pavilion, whereupon Babs Seed throws a quick gesture skyward. Scootaloo gives the cloud a swift buck, causing a sudden flash of lightning that frightens Spines into dropping his scrolls. As Babs Seed leans intently toward him, he stands stock-still for a moment and then begins to hiccup. Scootaloo smiles and Babs Seed laughs as the cloud brings the former down to the ground. Spines' next three lines are punctuated by hiccups.)
Babs Seed: Oh, Scootaloo, we startled Spines into getting the hiccups! (Scootaloo and Spines laugh as well.)
Spines: Good one, Babs Seed! (Cut to her; he continues o.s.) You're always pulling a fast one on me.
(He picks up one of the scrolls, but hiccups a lick of fire over it and yelps in surprise. It vanishes in a wisp of sparkling pink smoke—he has just sent a message to Princess Luna by mistake.)
Babs Seed: Oh, no! You're not hurt, are you?
Spines: Nah. Don't be silly. Dragons are fireproof.
(Quick pan to Luna, studying a document on a worktable in the bedchamber of her palace in Canterlot. A few books and scrolls lie on the floor, a low round bed stands behind her, and a fire is burning in the fireplace. The scroll Spines sent materializes and drops to the floor, surprising her considerably. Back to the pavilion.)
Babs Seed: Oh…okay. Good.
(She and Scootaloo trade a smile and start laughing fit to burst, while Spines has rounded up several other scrolls. Another incendiary hiccup burns the lot and leaves him staring haplessly after the inadvertent mass mailing.)
Spines: I wish the same thing were true of scrolls.
(Quick pan to Luna, who now has the first scroll open before her and is not sure what to make of it. She is promptly pelted by all the others at once; in Ponyville, the two tricksters yuk it up as Spines goes after the last few. As soon as he grabs one, it falls victim to a hiccup.)
Babs Seed: Have you ever seen anything more hilarious? (She falls back laughing.)
Scootaloo: (smiling wickedly) I can think of one thing.
(Which is to kick the cloud for another lightning flash that scares a yelp out of Babs Seed and leaves her with the hiccups as well. She starts alternating between these and giggles, and her next line is broken up by the former.)
Scootaloo: I didn't take you for a prankster, Babs Seed. (She flies down; Pinkie has stood up.)
Babs Seed: Are you kidding? I love to pull pranks! It's all in good fun, and Babs Seed looooves to have fun!
Scootaloo: You know, Babs Seed, you're not as annoying as I thought. You want to hang out?
Babs Seed: (zipping all about) That'd be—I'd really—when do—I mean—when would you— (Scootaloo stops her with a hoof over the mouth.)
Scootaloo: A simple nod will do.
Babs Seed: (nodding) Mmm-hmm.
(Rainbow lowers her hoof so the two conspirators can smile at each other. Dissolve to the upper reaches of a structure whose roof is styled as a giant, multicolored court jester's cap, complete with bells. Tilt down to ground level; the hanging sign, of a laughing pony's head in jester attire and an "arrow through the head" gag, marks this as a joke/novelty shop. Babs Seed and Scootaloo exit with full baskets in their teeth. From here, cut to a close-up of the doorbell next to the Carousel Boutique's door; Babs Seed reaches into view to press it. The bell sounds as two phrases of the classic "Westminster Quarters" clock chime pattern. The next two lines are delivered in hushed tones.)
Scootaloo: (from o.s.) Is she even home?
(Long shot; she and Babs Seed are hiding behind bushes a short distance away, having left something on the doorstep.)
Babs Seed: I don't know. This is gonna be gold! (Top half of door opens, exposing Sweetie Belle as both snicker.) There she is!
(They drop out of sight, and Sweetie Belle looks off to one side before noticing what is on the step.)
Sweetie Belle: Hmmm!
(In close-up, she sniffs at it—a bouquet of flowers—and comes up with a smudge of something on her nostrils. She begins to sneeze uncontrollably and throws a puzzled glance off toward the o.s. jokers' giggling; quick pan to the pair, now clear of the bushes. Scootaloo has a can balanced on her hoof, and a zoom on the picture label reveals it as sneezing powder. As Sweetie Belle glares toward them, Scootaloo drops the can and gallops off, with the effect of causing Babs Seed to sneeze herself o.s. as well when she gets a snootful. Sweetie Belle smiles at the comeuppance.)
(A sheet of paper is unrolled over the scene by Fictionary; zoom out to show it as a scroll on a stand in the library's reading room, with a quill and inkwell nearby. She has set up some flasks and test tubes on the central table, and she levitates one of these and the quill to do a report. The quill rapidly jots down several lines, which vanish from the page as soon as she turns away to mix some of her chemicals, which start to bubble. When she turns back, the sight of the blank paper causes her eyes to pop slightly.)
Fictionary: Hmm?
(She eyes the mixture, now fuming, then the page—and from behind her come a flash, a few puffs of smoke, and the sounds of exploding chemicals and breaking glass. As she eyes the inkwell suspiciously, she catches the pair's laughter; outside, Scootaloo is holding up a bottle of disappearing ink, which they sneaked into the library. The snookered young story writer throws an "okay, you got me" smile through the window as Babs Seed and Scootaloo laugh themselves silly and Scootaloo drops the bottle.)
(Dissolve to a long shot of Sweet Apple Acres, zooming in slowly, then cut to Apple Bloom as she begins to pull a cart out of the barn. The front wheels are barely halfway out before she stops with a sharp, shocked gasp; ahead of her is a tree whose apples look like multicolored Easter eggs. A pan across the orchard reveals that every tree in sight has been similarly affected.)
Apple Bloom: (from o.s.) Land sakes!
(Back to her; she hears the orange goofball laughing and looks confusedly off to each side. Babs Seed and Scootaloo are nearby, each with a painter's palette hooked over one hoof and a just-used brush in her teeth. They share a laugh before bailing out due to their own handiwork being thrown at them by one angry blonde pony. One apple lands in a full water barrel, in which Apple Bloom reflection appears as the paint washes away to leave the fruit undamaged. Realizing the joke they have played, Apple Bloom chuckles to herself.)
(Dissolve to Heartsong at a stream bend, watching several jumping fish and a few other water-dwellers that gather at the bank. In a close-up pan, one of them can be seen to be an obvious decoy of a turtle, with a long tube attached to its rear and trailing back across the stream. It squeaks a bit, and the camera follows the tube to where it disappears over a hill on the opposite bank. A telescope is extended up from behind; on the far side, Scootaloo watches the scene through this while Babs Seed jumps up and down. A rubber bulb in her teeth, attached to the other end of the tube, provides the noise.)
Babs Seed: Is someone over there? Who are we gonna squirt? Who are we gonna squirt?
Scootaloo: (snickering) Heartsong.
Babs Seed: Alright. This is a harmless one, so, we should be good. (She speezes the bulb in her teeth and it squirts Heartsong.)
(Heartsong was surprised, jumped and was soaking wet. When she realised what happened, she quickly laughed it off.)
Heartsong: Ok, good one, girls!
Scootaloo: Thanks, Heartsong! (Back to her. Turns to Babs Seed.) Huh. I wonder who we can prank next?
(She has not noticed Babs Seed's struggle to contain a laugh, and now she puts her eye back to the scope for a moment. When she backs off again, a turn of the head tells all: her left eye has a ring of ink around it, left by the scope's eyepiece.)
Scootaloo: So, who's it gonna be?
Babs Seed: Oh! (giggling) I've got someone in mind—the toughest around.
Scootaloo: Oh, awesome! (looking around) Who, who? Do I know them?
(Close-up of the water at the bank; Babs Seed's reflection pops into view, pointing.)
Babs Seed: (giggling) Oh, yes. (Scootaloo's appears alongside.) You're very close.
(After the victim notices her eye, both have a good laugh over the double-cross.)
Scootaloo: Good one, Babs Seed!
(She puts her hoof out for a high five, then yanks it back twice when Babs Seed tries to slap it. Another laugh, and the the 2 gallop off.)
(Dissolve to a stretch of land outside Ponyville proper, near Sweet Apple Acres. It is now sunrise of the following morning. Babs Seed trots along, wearing a pair of joke glasses with a big red nose and droopy moustache attached and blowing on a noisemaker. She is also wearing the classic "arrow through the head" over her mane. When she skids to a stop, the camera zooms out to frame her looking up at a house built of clouds and rainbows, sporting a number of Greek-style columns and floating at a very low altitude. A stream of the variegated light spills over the edge as a waterfall.)
Babs Seed: Rise and shine, Scootaloo! (Close-up of the door; she continues o.s.) It's a brand new day, and we got a lot of pranking to—
(The head that pokes out is not Scootaloo's, but that of another, deeper orange pony with a green mane. His eyes are deep yellow, one of which aims itself toward ground level in a puzzled and slightly hostile glare.)
Babs Seed: Ooh! (Scootaloo peeks out from the roof, the ink ring gone from her eye.)
Scootaloo: Mornin', Bab! (She drops to ground level and addresses herself upward.) Boomer, this is my gal pal Babs Seed.
(Boomer descends with a shrill cry, revealing himself as a pegasus—tail matching mane colour and a cutie mark of a storm cloud. All of Babs' joke items drop to the ground when she gets a good look at the creature, whose female voice and body language practically scream "too hip for the room.")
Boomer: Hey, what's up?
Scootaloo: Babs Seed, this is my friend Boomer.
Babs Seed: Nice to meet you.
(Cut to Boomer, who spreads her wings in a crouch and jumps toward the camera.)
Boomer: (from o.s.) You as well. (Cut to frame all three.)
Scootaloo: (throwing wing around Scootaloo's shoulders) I'm really glad you came today, Babs. Boomer's a cool guy.
(After a playful snarl, he and Scootaloo laugh and chatter while trading their particular version of a secret handshake, as the orange earth pony stares with some bewilderment.)
Scootaloo: Boomer's my best friend from my days at Junior Speedster Flight Camp. (to Boomer) Hey, remember the chant?
Boomer: Sh'yah. They made us recite it every morning. I'll never get that lame thing out of my head.
Scootaloo: Sooo…?
(The colt meets her big smile with an unenthusiastic little groan.)
Boomer: Only for you, Scoots.
(Both rise into the air to do the choreography for the chant—no points for guessing which one would rather be doing anything else.)
Scootaloo, Boomer: Junior Speedsters are our lives,
Sky-bound soars and daring dives.
(landing) Junior Speedsters, it's our quest
To someday be the very best!
(Babs Seed's response is to laugh and stomp one hoof on the ground, prompting both Speedster alumni to turn their heads away in embarrassment for a moment.)
Babs Seed: Oh, that was awesome! And it gave me a great idea for a prank!
(She shoves her head into the pile of novelties to put them all back in place.)
Babs Seed: Boomer, you game?
Boomer: Huh. Well, I groove on a good prank as much as the next pony. (elbowing Scootaloo, spreading wings) But, Scoots, you promised me we'd get a flying session in this morning. (She lifts off.)
Scootaloo: Yeah, uh, well…Babs Seed, you don't mind, do you? (hovering) Boomer just got here. We'll catch up with you later.
Babs Seed: Oh! Um…well, sure, no problem. Have fun, you guys! (as they zoom off) I'll, uh, just catch up with you…
(She sighs dejectedly and sits back on her haunches.)
Babs Seed: …later.
(The noisemaker in her mouth sounds off weakly. Snap to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to a street in Ponyville, with clear sky overhead. Scootaloo flies across, doing a loop-the-loop, and Boomer follows and overtakes the pegasus on a straight run. As Scootaloo accelerates, the colt takes a breather on a cloud, only to get bowled over when Scootaloo plows into her. Both laugh and straighten up.)
Boomer: Whoa! That was sweet, just like old times.
Scootaloo: Yeah, only faster! (They bump hoofs.) So now what?
(Babs Seed's head pops up between them, just in time for their second attempted bump to tap both sides of it. She has put away her joke wearables.)
Babs Seed: Hey there! (She drops out of sight.)
Scootaloo, Boomer: Huh? (Up again.)
Babs Seed: It's later! (Down, then up.) And I caught up!
(A ground-level shot reveals that she is bouncing on a trampoline to reach the cloud.)
Scootaloo: (grinning) Babs Seed, you are so random!
Boomer: (pointing) Hey, Scoots, think you got enough gas left to beat me to that cloud?
Scootaloo: A race? (as both go into a crouch) You are so on!
Boomer: One, two, three, go!
(They take off, leaving the pink earth pony to find herself alone on the next bounce.)
Babs Seed: Hey!
(Tilt up quickly to another cloud; the racers punch up through it at nearly the same instant and stop in midair.)
Scootaloo: I win!
Boomer: As if! I won, dude!
Scootaloo: No way! And by the way, you're a dude, I'm a dudette.
Boomer: Yes way. And that doesn't matter
Scootaloo: Oh, come on! I was way ahead of you!
Boomer: I don't think so.
Scootaloo: Oh, geez, dream on!
Boomer: Remember back at camp? I—
Scootaloo: There is no way you beat me!
Boomer: Whatever.
(They are so absorbed in the argument that they do not notice Babs Seed floating up behind them, thanks to the huge bunch of balloons tied around her midsection. Her words catch both off guard.)
Babs Seed: Wow, guys, that was really close! (to Boomer) But I think Scootaloo beat you by a teeny-weeny, itty-bitty hair—or a teeny-weeny, itty-bitty feather.
Scootaloo: Hah! See? Good thing Babs Seed's here to keep you honest, B.
(On the end of this line, cut to a close-up of Boomer, who shoots her a rather nasty look before recovering his composure.)
Boomer: Okay, Scoots! (pointing up) Last one to that cloud up there is a gnarly dragon egg. Go!
(They take off in a burst of cloud vapor; when it clears, Boomer is right where she started, having doubled back for a private talk with Babs Seed. His voice takes on a decidedly nasty edge.)
Boomer: I think the high altitude is making you dizzy.
(He starts popping one balloon after another with a pin in one of his hooves; eventually Babs Seed begins to sink and she flies off.)
Babs Seed: Wait! Guys!
(Scootaloo reaches the cloud and looks around for Boomer, who arrives a moment later. The quiet is broken by the growing sound of chugging machinery and Babs Seed's voice.)
Babs Seed: (from o.s.) Wow! You guys almost got away from me that time!
(Longer shot. A jerry-built, pedal-powered helicopter is keeping her aloft now. Boomer throws an irritated glance her way, then turns to Scootaloo.)
Boomer: So, Scoots, got any new moves in your trick-tionary, or are you one hundred percent old-school?
Scootaloo: New moves? (hovering off cloud) Hah. Sit back, B. (flying o.s.) This is gonna take a while.
(After she has gone, the griffon turns back to the interloper.)
Boomer: Hey, Babs. (beckoning) Come here. (Babs Seed maneuvers in.)
Babs Seed: Yeah?
(Boomer flies up and grabs the rotor shaft so she can get in the unnerved pilot's face.)
Boomer: Don't you know how to take "get lost" for an answer? Boomer doesn't need to hang with a dweeb like you now that I'm around. You're dorkin' up the sky, Bad Seed, so make like a bee and BUZZ OFF!
(Letting go of the shaft, she seizes the rotor itself to stop it cold and start the whole body spinning instead. Panicked yells from the whirling orange blur in the driver's seat; when Boomer lets go, the whole rig veers crazily back and forth and spirals down toward the fields.)
Scootaloo: (returning to cloud) Try matching that!...Hey! Where's Babs Seed and her crazy contraption?
Boomer: Eh, she left. Something about being as busy as a bee.
(Down on the ground, Babs Seed and her machine have wiped out hard. Once she gets her wits about her, she stands up among the wreckage.)
Babs Seed: Hmph!
(Dissolve to the exterior of the library.)
Fictionary: (from inside) So, Babs Seed…
(Cut to her, looking over a book in the reading room. She flips pages with her magic.)
Fictionary: …are you sure that this friend of Boomer is really so mean? (Babs Seed comes up.)
Babs Seed: Um, yeah! (pacing) She keeps stealing Scootaloo away, she popped my balloons, and she told me to buzz off! I've never met a pony this mean!
(Longer shot; Spines sits on the stairs, reading. Vincent is painting a picture of the story that Spines is reading.)
Babs Seed: None have been as mean and grumpy as Boomer!
Fictionary: You know what I think, Babs Seed?
Babs Seed: Hmm?
Fictionary: Well, I think…you're jealous.
Babs Seed: Jealous?!
Spines: Green with envy…
Vincent: Well, in your case, orange with envy.
Fictionary: Well, yes, jealous. Listen, Babs. I don't want to upset you— (Pan slowly to a crushed Babs, putting her o.s.) —but just because Scootaloo has another friend doesn't make Boomer a grump. I mean, perhaps it's you, Babs— (Longer shot, framing both.) —who needs to improve her attitude.
(This idea seems to sit very badly in the brain under the curly two-toned pink mane.)
Babs Seed: Improve my attitude? (stammering) But I—but it's Boomer that—are you seri—
(She gives up on the discussion with a frustrated yell and stalks out, slamming the library door hard enough to shake the whole building. Fictionary sighs as she, Vincent and Spines trade a very worried glance.)
(Cut to Babs Seed, walking through the park and thinking very hard.)
Babs Seed: Maybe Fictionary is right. Maybe Boomer isn't a big mean grumpy mean meanie-pants. Maybe I'm just a big jealous judgmental jealous jealousy-pants. (Sigh.)
(Dissolve to a profile close-up of the down-in-the-dumps pony as she sips an ice cream soda, then zoom out to frame her standing at a table outside Sugarcube Corner. The sound of an overhead flight and two unmistakable laughing voices causes her to nearly upset both the table and her drink.)
Boomer: (from o.s.) That was sweet!
Scootaloo: (from o.s.) Ugh. (Zoom out quickly; she and Boomer fly among the rooftops.) I gotta take care of a few weather jobs around here. Shouldn't take long. (They land.) Just, uh, hang out in town and I'll come find you.
Boomer: That's cool, I guess. I'm gonna go chow down.
Scootaloo: Later!
(After she has flown away, Boomer runs an eye over the scene and notices a produce cart at which Granny Smith is checking out ears of corn. Zoom in on this; Boomer's tail pops up from the display, prompting a terrified scream from the old mare.)
Granny: A rattler! A rattler! Run for the hills! Everybody run, save yourselves!
(She flees as quickly as her creaky joints will allow—that is, not very—and Boomer puts his head up behind the display to see her handiwork. The pegasus in charge of the cart gives him a puzzled look.)
Boomer: (walking o.s.) This stuff ain't fresh, dude. (Babs, at her table, has seen the whole thing.)
Babs Seed: Aw, poor Granny Smith! She didn't know it was a joke. How mean!...No, no. I can't misjudge him. (Cut to Boomer passing the cart; she continues o.s.) It was kind of a funny prank…I guess?
(A look back and forth, and she filches an apple using her tail without being noticed; one fast chomp disposes of the evidence as she continues on. Back to Babs Seed, who gasps angrily.)
Babs Seed: I did misjudge him! He's not only a meanie mean-pants, He's also a thief!...No, no, no, no, no. He might give it back. (Zoom out slightly.) It's just a joke.
(Heartsong backs across the view in front of her, her eyes fixed on a family of ducks she is escorting down the street.)
Heartsong: All right, little ones. This way, this way. Mama Duck, you're free and clear. (She starts to quietly vocalise and the ducklings really seem to like this.)
(She does not notice Boomer's approach from the opposite direction until her rump collides with the green mane.)
Boomer: Hey!
Heartsong: Please excuse me.
Boomer: I'm walkin' here!
Heartsong: (backing up, scared) Oh…um…I'm sorry…I-I-I was just trying to— (Cut to Boomer on the end of this.)
Boomer: (mimicking Heartsong tone) "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" (viciously, advancing; ducks scatter) Why don't you just watch where you're going, doofus?
Heartsong: But…b-b-but…I…I…
(The griffon sucks in a double lungful of air and lets it out as a deafening roar directly into the meek pegasus' face. Dead silence except for a sheep's bleat, which gives way to Heartsong's sobbing as she flees the scene first on hooves and then by wings. Babs Seed sees it all, including Boomer's run up to make sure she is gone.)
Boomer: Ugh! Please. All these lame ponies are driving me buggy. I gotta bail. (He flies off.)
Babs Seed: He's a grump and a thief and a bully! The meanest kind of mean meanie-pants there is! I can take it, but no one treats Heartsong like that—no one! This calls for extreme measures…
(Zoom in to an extreme close-up as a fierce smile crosses her face.)
Babs Seed: …Babs Seed style!
(Snap to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of Babs, still sporting that same fierce smile. It softens after a moment, and the camera zooms out to show her now standing just inside the front door of Sugarcube Corner, where a full-on shindig is in progress on the shop floor. A pony enters.)
Babs Seed: Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! (Pan to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle at the other side of the room.)
Apple Bloom: Who's this Boomer I've heard nothin' about?
Sweetie Belle: I hear he's an old friend of Rainbow Dash. One of the top flyer's too. It's uncommon to find a pony with that type of talent.
(They walk off on the end of this, revealing Fictionary, Vincent and Heartsong behind them.)
Fictionary: You've met Boomer, right? What's he like?
Heartsong: Oh…um, well…I'll tell you later, Fictionary. (She approaches Babs Seed as more guests arrive.)
Babs Seed: (to guests) Welcome! Welcome!
Heartsong: Um, Babs Seed, about this party for Boomer—um, do you really think it's a good idea? I mean—
Babs Seed: Don't worry your pretty little head about mean old Boomer. (knocking her on the head) Your auntie Babs Seed's got it all taken care of.
(She does not notice that her response has left Heartsong rather vexed, and she turns back toward the door without bothering to hear the next line.)
Heartsong: I'm a year older than you.
Babs Seed: (now o.s.) Boomer! (Quick pan to him just inside; Babs Seed jumps over.) I'm so honored to throw you one of my signature Babs Seed parties! (holding out hoof to shake) And I really, truly, sincerely hope you feel welcome here amongst all us Ponyville folk.
(She ends this line with a big grin as Boomer reluctantly shakes. What follows is a full-body electric shock that sends the griffon tottering to the floor—and puts an even bigger grin on the orange pony's face. A turn of the hoof reveals a joy buzzer attached to it; she laughs over the stunt as Boomer gets upright with a scowl. Scootaloo's laughter is heard from o.s., and she trots over to the pair.)
Scootaloo: Oh, Babs Seed! The old hoof-shake buzzer! You are a scream! (Boomer forces a smile.)
Boomer: Yeah. (Chuckle.) Uh, good one, Babs Seed.
Scootaloo: (trotting off) Come on, B. I'll introduce you to some of my other friends.
Boomer: Right behind you, Scoots! (to Babs Seed, menacingly) I know what you're up to.
Babs Seed: (still smiling) Great!
Boomer: (exasperated groan) I know what you're planning!
Babs Seed: (giggling) Well, I hope so. This wasn't supposed to be a surprise party.
Boomer: I mean, I've got my eye on you. (Babs Seed leans directly into her face.)
Babs Seed: And I got my eye on you.
(She bulges her eyes out comically on this line, then backs off o.s. to leave one rather bemused bad boy standing alone.)
Babs Seed: (from o.s.) Everyone… (Cut to her amid the crowd.) …I'd like you all to meet Boomer— (Back to Boomer; she continues o.s.) —a long-time, dear friend of Rainbow Dash. (hugging her) Let's honor her and welcome him to Ponyville.
(She zips away; Boomer shoots a hairy eyeball after her, but quickly trades it in for a smile as the other guests cheer and Scootaloo throws a hoof around her shoulders.)
Babs Seed: Please help yourself.
(Close-up of a bowl of candy, with Boomer standing behind.)
Boomer: Vanilla lemon drops! (Zoom out.) Don't mind if I do.
(Tossing one into her mouth, she instantly squinches her entire face up in pain as steam sings out in her head and sweat sprays from her face. She promptly lets go with a fiery belch that would give Spike a run for his money. Babs Seed picks up a stick in her teeth so she can roast the marshmallow impaled on it in the flames before they die down.)
Boomer: HOT!
Scootaloo: B! The punch!
(Boomer races past; extreme close-up of a full glass as he grabs it, then of his tight-shut eye as he gulps hastily. Liquid is heard running, but when his eye opens in surprise, the camera zooms out to show that the punch is in fact leaking out of a hole in the glass. Laughter from o.s.)
Boomer: Huh? (Overhead shot; several onlookers are getting their yuks in.)
Babs Seed: Well, what do you know? Pepper in the vanilla lemon drops, and the punch served in a dribble glass!
Scootaloo: (chuckling) Priceless. Priceless!
(She laughs as Boomer zips across the room and successfully downs another glass, gasping for breath.)
Boomer: (sarcastically) Yeah. Hilarious.
Scootaloo: (from o.s.) Hey, B! (Cut to her by a table stacked with gifts.) Look! Presents!
(Greed brings the griffon over in a trice. She grabs one and pulls its ribbon with her mouth, only to have a mass of toy snakes pop out in her face—the old "snake can" trick, which leaves him dazed and disheveled. More laughter.)
Apple Bloom: (to Sweetie Belle) Spittin' snakes! (laughing) Somepony pulled that prank on me last month.
Boomer: Ha, ha. I bet I know who that was. (Quick pan to Babs Seed.)
Babs Seed: You do?
(Dissolve to another area of the room, where Heartsong has a group of birds lined up on a ledge and is directing them in a song. Pan across the lively gathering, then cut to Babs Seed at a cake loaded with lit candles.)
Babs Seed: Cake time, everypony!
(Zoom out; she is pushing the cake on a wheeled platform to the center of the floor. Spines is now seen among the guests.)
Spines: Hey! Can I blow out the candles?
Fictionary: Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles, Spines? She is the guest of honor, after all.
Vincent: That's a fair point, sis.
(Boomer flashes over, elbowing Spines away. Her feathers are back in order.)
Boomer: Exactly!
(She takes a deep breath, blows out all the candles—and then is greatly perplexed to see them all relight themselves. Another try leaves her slightly winded and earns a round of laughs when the wicks blaze back up. Several more attempts get the same result.)
Vincent: (laughing) Relighting birthday candles! I love that prank!
Spines: (laughing) What a classic!
Babs Seed: Now I wonder who could've done that?
Boomer: (very snarky) Yeah. I wonder.
(The sound of Spines' o.s. gobbling draws his attention; at ground level, he has tunneled so far into the cake that his tail disappears into the hole.)
Spines: (muffled by cake) Who cares? This cake is amazing!
(He pops out through the top on the end of this, scattering frosting and candles everywhere.)
Fictionary: Spines!
Spines: What? It's great! Try some.
(This bit of gluttony starts to work Boomer's last good nerve as Scootaloo comes over.)
Scootaloo: Hey, B, you're not upset about some silly candles, are you? (Boomer composes himself.)
Boomer: No way, Scoots. Like I said, I'm down with a good prank.
Scootaloo: (zipping to cake) Come on, then. Let's have some cake.
(The jerk's mood goes sour again and does not improve when Babs Seed starts chomping into the cake. A pair of hooves wraps itself around his neck and drags him behind for an uncomfortably close sidebar.)
Boomer: Hey, I'm watching you like a hawk.
Babs Seed: Why? Can't you watch me like a pony?
Apple Bloom: (from o.s.) Hey, y'all! Both pop up, grinning broadly.) It's Pin the Tail on the Pony!
(Overhead view of the group; she is near the door, a paper pony tail lies before her, and a drawing of the tailless animal is tacked up on the wall.)
Apple Bloom: Let's play!
Sweetie Belle: Oh, my favourite game! Can I go first? Can I have the purple tail? (Boomer leaps over and snatches it up.)
Boomer: Well, I am the guest of honor, and I'll have the purple tail. (Cut to Babs Seed, Vincent and Spines.)
Babs Seed: Yeah! Boomer should definitely go first. (Spines produces a blindfold and walks over.) Let's get you blindfolded.
Boomer: (from o.s.) Hey!
(Back to her; Spike ties the cloth over her eyes and jumps off her back.)
Gilda: What are you doing?
(A snarl; Pinkie grabs hold and gives a heave that sets her spinning, then backs out of view.)
Babs Seed: (from o.s.) We're spinning you around and around, and then you can pin the tail on the pony.
(On the second half of this, cut to the picture. Back to Babs Seed, now guiding Boomer toward it.)
Babs Seed: Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail.
Boomer: (mockingly) "Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail." (normal voice; snort) Yeah, right. This is another prank, isn't it? (walking away from wall) I'm going this way.
Babs Seed: Wait! The poster is this—
(One hoofed foot comes down in a splotch of frosting to send her skidding and yelling across the room, straight through the batwing doors leading into the kitchen. The resulting crash shakes the entire bakery, and as clouds of flour puff out, she emerges a weary, bleary wreck, smeared with cake and various other sweet stuff; The blindfold is off, and the tail hangs across her nose like a moustache.)
Babs Seed: (from o.s.) Uh, Boomer? You pinned the tail on the wrong end.
(The ensuing round of laughter is the very last straw for the luckless pony, who throws off all the gunk with a bellowing roar and hovers above the crowd.)
Boomer: This is your idea of a good time? I've never met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life! And Babs Seed…you! (pointing in Babs' face, then leaning to her) You are Queen Lame-o with your weak little party pranks! Did you really think you could make me lose my cool? (sliding to Scootaloo) Well, Scoots and I have ten times as much cool as the rest of you put together! (Scootaloo's face hardens.) Come on, Scoots. (walking to door) We're bailing on this pathetic scene.
(The pegasus does not stir a hoof even as her old friend stops at the door.)
Boomer: Come on, Scootaloo! I said, we're leaving!
(Not a single face is smiling anymore, even Babs.)
Scootaloo: You know, Boomer, I was the one who set up all those "weak" pranks at this party. (Direct hit.)
Boomer: What?!
Babs Seed: Ooh!
Scootaloo: So I guess I'm Queen Lame-o.
Boomer: Come on, Scoots! You're joshing me!
Scootaloo: They weren't all meant for you specifically. It was just dumb luck that you set them all off.
Babs Seed: (smiling, to Spines) I shoulda known! That dribble cup had Scootaloo written all over it.
Boomer: No way! I-It was Babs Seed! She set up this party to trip me up, to make a fool of me!
Babs Seed: (surprised) Me? I threw this party to improve your attitude. (turning her head until her face is upside down) I thought a good party might turn that frown upside down.
Scootaloo: And you sure didn't need any help making a fool of yourself. You know, this is not how I thought my old friends would treat my new friends. If being cool is all you care about… (Close-up of Boomer; zoom in as she continues o.s.) …maybe you should go find some new cool friends someplace else.
(The recipient of this tongue lashing snarls to herself and spreads her wings.)
Boomer: Yeah? Well…you…you…you are such an…a flip-flop! Cool one minute and lame the next. (walking out) When you decide not to be lame anymore, give me a call.
(The door slams and her shrill cry is heard to mark her departure.)
Scootaloo: Not cool.
Spines: Wow. Talk about a party-pooper. (General murmurs of agreement.)
Scootaloo: I'm sorry, everypony, for bringing Gilda here. I didn't know how rude she was. And, Babs Seed, I'm really sorry she ruined that awesome party you put on for her.
Babs Seed: (smiling) Hey, if you want to hang out with party-poopers, that's your business.
Scootaloo: I'd rather hang out with you. (holding out hoof to shake) No hard feelings?
Babs Seed: No hard feelings.
(When they shake, both of them get a jolt that starts the whole crowd laughing—and they join in, turning over their hooves to reveal a joy buzzer on each.)
Fictionary: Hey, Babs. Sorry I accused you of misjudging Boomer. Looks like I'm the one who misjudged you. (Babs Seed puts a foreleg around her shoulders.)
Babs Seed: It's okay, Fictionary. Even you can't be a super-smart smarty smart-pants all the time. (to the crowd, rearing/jumping excitedly) Come on, everypony! There's still a whole lotta party to finish!
(Laughter and cheers as the camera cuts to a close-up and zoom in on Fictionary, who smiles thoughtfully.)
Fictionary: (voice over, dictating) "Dearest Princess Luna: …" (Slow pan through the party.) "Today I learned that it's hard to accept when somepony you like wants to spend time with somepony who's not so nice."
(Dissolve to Luna's bedchamber, near the fireplace, and pan toward her bed. A wisp of smoke flows in through an air vent and forms into a scroll, which unrolls in midair to reveal both Fictionary's message and a bottle of ink. These settle down to float in front of Luna, who is sitting atop the bed on her belly.)
Fictionary: (voice over) "Though it's impossible to control who your friends hang out with, it is possible to control your own behavior. Just continue to be a good friend. In the end, the difference between a false friend and one who is true will surely come to light."
(The scroll rolls up and floats away, and a blank one takes its place as a quill floats over.)
Fictionary: (voice over) "Your faithful student, Fictionary Van Filly." (It dips in the ink and starts writing.)
Luna: (voice over) "Dear Fictionary Van Filly, my most faithful student: …"
(A close-up of the parchment reveals that the writing is quickly fading away. Zoom in on the bottle, whose label peels off to expose it as the same disappearing ink that Babs and Scoots used on Fictionary earlier.)
Luna: (from o.s.) Oh! (Laugh; cut to frame her.) Wrong ink.
(She sighs contentedly and chuckles, levitating another inkwell over to herself and starting the letter again. Zoom out slowly and fade to black.)