Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of Spines in the library. He is concentrating intently on something just o.s., and a mirror leans against the wall behind him.)
Spines: Come on, Fictionary. You can do it! (Cut to Fictionary Van Filly nearby.)
Fictionary: Okay. Here goes.
(She squeezes her eyes shut and fires up her horn; as its glow builds, the radiance also starts to emerge around Spike's nose and chin. In one quick pop, he has grown a bushy black mustache. This shot frames the top of the library staircase, indicating that they are in her upper-story room.)
Spines: Ha-ha! You did it!
(He turns to a checklist set up on an easel and ticks off an entry.)
Spines: Growing magic. That's number twenty-five. Twenty-five different types of tricks, and counting.
(Back to Fictionary on the end of this; she allows herself an embarrassed little smile and blush. Now the macho dragon looks himself over in the mirror.)
Spines: And I think this is the best trick so far. Hel-lo, Sweetie Belle! (eyes pop; stroking moustache) What's that? Aw, it's nothin', just my awesome moustache. (Chuckle.)
(Vincent walking in.)
Vincent: Hey, guys. What's going on?
Spines: Got a new moustache to impress Sweetie Belle with.
Vincent: Oh! We're talking of her again? (Chuckles) Very, very funny.
Fictionary: Sorry, Romeo. As attractive and enticing as you look, it's just for practice and it's gotta go. (Horn warms up on the end of this.)
Spines: Wait!
(Hands over the facial hair do nothing to stop the magic from erasing it.)
Spines: Aw, rats.
(Fictionary and Vincent laugh softly. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to Fictionary, Vincent and Spines walking down a busy Ponyville street during the day. Close-up of her during the following.)
Spines: Twenty-five, Twilight. Twenty-five different kinds of tricks, and counting. (Frame both again.) I thought unicorns were only supposed to have a little magic that matches their special talents.
Fictionary: True, for ponies whose talents are for things like cooking or singing or math. But what if one of a unicorn's talents is magic?
Spines: Like you, Fictionary. And you know a ton of magic.
Fictionary: (laughing) Oh, Spines, stop. I'm sure there are lots of ponies right here in Ponyville that know just as much magic as me.
Spines: (as the trio stop) Are you kiddin'? I don't think there's another unicorn in all of Equestria with your kind of ability, Fictionary.
Vincent: I have to agree. A unicorn with that raw ability would be tough to find. You should be proud, sis.
(Cut to two young unicorn colts in full gallop. Both have pale, light grayish olive coats, moderate red with white striped mane and tail, and moderate pistachio eyes. One has a piece of an apple for their cutie mark, while the other has almost a whole apple. These two are Flim and Flam, respectively.)
Flam: Gangway! (Cut to Fictionary, Vincent and Spines; he continues o.s.) Comin' through!
(The two barrel past with enough speed to blow Fictionary's and Vincent's manes/tails sideways, while Spines finds himself being bulldozed along on Flim's head.)
Spines: Flim! Flam! What's going on? (They skid to a stop, throwing him clear.)
Flam: What, haven't you heard?
Spines: (from o.s.) Whoa! (Crash.)
Flam: There is a new unicorn in town!
(Now Flim chimes in, bouncing on his hooves.)
Flim: Yeah! They say that she's got more magical powers than any other unicorn ever!
(On the end of this, cut to Fictionary and Vincent approaching the pair. Spines also walks up, rubbing his head.)
Fictionary: Really?
Spines: Aw, no way. That honor goes to Fictionary here. (Cut to her on the end of this; she smiles and blushes.)
Fictionary: Where is this unicorn?
Flam: Oh, she's in the town square. Come on! (He gallops off.)
Flim: Yeah! Come on!
Vincent: I suppose there's no harm in taking a look.
(Flim follows with an excited yell, and Fictionary, Vincent and Spines race after him a moment later. Wipe to a long shot of a wagon trailer that has been set up in front of the town square pavilion, presenting its side to the sizable crowd gathered before it. A female voice rings out over the scene, sounding very dramatic and over the top, as Fictionary, Vincent and Spines make their way to the front. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle are up here, but Heartsong and Babs Seed are absent.)
Voice: Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Firelock!
(During this line, the trailer reconfigures itself as follows. One, the side wall flips down to become a stage backed by a dark orange curtain, and two wings fold out to extend its length. Two, the ends swing out, exposing three brass horns mounted on each. Three, the roof pops up and several bits of overhead scenery extend over the stage: rocket, planet and stars, spiral, stars and magic wand. Zoom in on the stage as a blast of glittering amber smoke goes off; when it clears, a bright orange mare stands smiling at the crowd. Her mane and tail are two tone red, and she wears a red-tangerine wizard's hat and cape covered with stars. The cape is secured at the throat by a large, light yellow jewel brooch. Her eyes are a vivid shade of green, and her cutie mark is a flame with some stars flying around them, revealed when her cape blows backward. Firelock has just made her grand arrival, prompting awed murmurs from the crowd.)
Firelock: Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Firelock performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!
(Fireworks erupt from the stage, but Sweetie Belle is far from impressed.)
Sweetie Belle: My, my, my. What boasting.
Spines: Come on. Nopony's as magical as Fic…
(He nearly has a fit upon realizing that he is speaking to the pony he wanted to impress with his moustache earlier.)
Spines: Fic…Fic…oh! (blushing a bit, clearing throat) H-Hey, Sweetie Belle, I, uh…moustache! (He runs off in a panic; Fictionary takes his place.)
Fictionary: There's nothing wrong with being talented, is there?
Apple Bloom: Nothin' at all… (eyeing Firelock as she conjures up flowers) …'ceptin' when someone goes around showin' it off like a school-filly with fancy new ribbons!
Sweetie Belle: Just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us.
(During this line, pan to Fictionary, who hunches down and lets her ears droop sheepishly. Now Scootaloo speaks up.)
Scootaloo: Especially when you got me around being better than the rest of us! (Chuckle; Apple Bloom glares daggers at her.) Uh…I mean…yeah, uh, magic, schmagic! BOOOO!
(Sidelong glance at the still-disapproving workhorse.)
Firelock: Well, well, well. It seems we have some ne-e-eigh-sayers in the audience. (Heartsong now stands with the others in the front row.) Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Firelock?
(Slow pan across Fictionary and company, showing assorted reactions of disgust, annoyance, confusion, and awe—the last coming from Flim and Flam. Heartsong and Babs Seed are at opposite ends of the line—this is the former's only appearance in the entire episode. Babs Seed does not appear again unless specifically mentioned.)
Firelock: (from o.s.) Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?
Sweetie Belle: (to Fictionary) Pffft! Just who does she think she is? (Spines elbows up between them.)
Spines: Yeah, since we all know that Fictionary here is—
Fictionary: Spines, shhh!
(She pushes him well away from the spectacle for a private chat; both keep their voices down. Vincent follows, out of curiosity.)
Spines: What? What's wrong?
Fictionary: You see the way they reacted to Firelock? I don't want anyone thinking I'm a showoff.
(Sounds from the stage draw their attention; the performer's fireworks are going off again, more energetically than before. Scootaloo is first to get fed up and fly onto the stage.)
Scootaloo: So, Great and Powerful Firelock, what makes you think you're so awesome, anyway? (Firelock puts a hoof to her face with a disdainful laugh.)
Firelock: (with mounting fervor) Why, only the Great and Powerful Firelock has magic strong enough to vanquish…the dreaded Ursa Major!
(Fireworks blast from the horns at one end of the stage, decorating the sky with the outline of a huge bear whose forehead is marked with a starburst. Its head and tail move as if this were a neon sign; gasps and murmurs all round.)
Flim: What?!
Flam: No way!
Firelock: When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to.
(Cut back to the Ursa Major pyrotechnic during this line. A Firelock figure then approaches, wand at the ready. As she continues, it stands pat before the beast's swipes and casts a spell, causing it to fizzle out and disappear in a shower of sparks.)
Firelock: (from o.s.) But the Great and Powerful Firelock stepped in, and with her awesome magic, vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave… (Back to her.) …deep within the Everfree Forest!
Flim, Flam: Suh-weet!
Flim: That settles it!
(Back to Firelock, standing proudly; zoom out to frame Flam gesturing to her as he speaks.)
Flam: Firelock truly is the most talented, most magical, most awesome unicorn in Ponyville! (Snips pops up next to him.)
Flim: No! In all of Equestria! (Fictionary, Vincent and Spines are back in the crowd.)
Spines: How do you know? You didn't see it! And besides, Fic—
(She uses her magic to literally zip his mouth shut.)
Firelock: (laughing) It's true, my enthusiastic little admirers. Firelock is most certainly the best in Ponyville!
(Dead silence from the crowd.)
Firelock: Don't believe the Great and Powerful Firelock? Well, then, I hereby challenge you Ponyvillians. Anything you can do, I can do better. (Slow pan across the line, from Scootaloo to Fictionary; she continues o.s.) Any takers? Anyone, hmm? (Back to her as she continues.) Or is Firelock destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived?
(Another fusillade of fireworks, the most elaborate so far, after which Spines unzips his lip and throws himself at Fictionary's hooves.)
Spines: (sobbing) Please! She's unbearable! You gotta show her! You just gotta!
Vincent: (softly) If Fictionary doesn't want to use her magic, that's fine, Spines.
Fictionary: (softly) There's no way I'm gonna use my magic now, Spines, especially since— (Back to the stage.)
Firelock: (scanning the crowd) Hmmm…how about… (pointing) …you?
(Cut to Fictionary and zoom in as she swallows hard and the background behind her dims. Fade to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to Firelock, striding confidently toward the edge of the stage.)
Firelock: Well, how about it, hmmm? Is there anything you can do that the Great and Powerful Firelock can't? (Cut to a flustered Fictionary.)
Fictionary: I, uh, I… (Pan to Apple Bloom.)
Firelock: (from o.s.) Well, little hayseed?
Apple Bloom: That's it! I can't stand for no more of this!
Spines: You show her, AB!
Vincent: I doubt this is a good idea.
(Close-up profile of the orange unicorn.)
Apple Bloom: (from o.s.) Can your magical powers do this?
(Cut to her, now on the stage and twirling a lasso around herself at floor level with her tail. She hoists the loop clear of the boards, then works it forward and backward.)
Crowd: (from o.s.) Ooooh!
(An expert flick of the blond tail sends the lasso flying to snag an apple off a tree; the rope loosens on the return trip so that the fruit lands squarely in her mouth. After a quick chew and swallow, the crowd voices its approval.)
Apple Bloom: Top that, missy!
(Firelock's hat begins to glow due to the magic of her horn underneath.)
Firelock: Oh, ye of little talent.
(It lifts clear of her head, fully exposing a mane that is a longer version of Heartsong's.)
Firelock: Watch and be amazed at the magic of Firelock!
(A gleam from the appendage brings the now-untied rope under her control; one end rises sinuously off the stage as if it were a snake being charmed. It sways back and forth before Apple Bloom's face, hypnotizing her into mimicking its movements, and the other end pulls a second apple from the tree. The first end lashes toward Apple Bloom's hooves and hogties her, briefly lifting her upside down off the stage before dropping her on her back.)
Apple Bloom: What—oof!
(Once she thuds down, the apple is stuffed whole into her mouth; the crowd laughs and cheers as she hobble-hops away.)
Firelock: Once again, the Great and Powerful Firelock prevails. (Scootaloo flies to the stage.)
Scootaloo: There's no need to go strutting around and showing off like that!
Firelock: Oh?
Scootaloo: That's my job.
(She goes into a speeding charge and sets a windmill spinning at insanely high RPM's as she grabs one vane. The machine pitches her skyward when she lets go; punching neat holes through a long row of clouds, the self-assured aviator hovers briefly before the sun so that it silhouettes her form. Her next move is a screaming dive that carries her through the holes she punched and down to the same windmill, a few droplets of moisture following her from the clouds. When she repeats the grab/release maneuver, the vanes fling her straight onto her scooter, which she zips onto the stage and does an expertly practised stop.)
Scootaloo: They don't call me "Scootaloo" for nothing.
(Once again the crowd cheers the display; Firelock seems unperturbed.)
Firelock: When Firelock is through, the only thing they'll call you is "loser"!
(A beam from her horn causes the water from the clouds to wrap its creator up in a little tornado and carry her yelling into the sky. The cyclone veers madly in all directions before hitting the ground upside down and flying away. Scootaloo winds up lying on her face in the dirt, her eyes jittering and her body bent upward as if sprawled against an invisible wall.)
Scootaloo: (woozily) I think I'm gonna be sick.
Firelock: Seems like anypony with a dash of good sense would think twice before tussling with the Great Firelock.
(On the end of this, she throws another burst from her horn and the camera cuts to Scootaloo, who has gotten upright and fumbled her way back to a now-untied Apple Bloom and the crowd. A black cloud appears overhead and zaps her in the rump with a lightning bolt.)
Scootaloo: Yow! (Laughter from all.)
Spines: What we need is another unicorn to challenge her! (elbowing Fictionary's leg) Someone with some magic of her own?
Scootaloo: Yeah! A unicorn to show this unicorn who's boss!
Apple Bloom: A real unicorn-to-unicorn tussle! (Spines eyes Fictionary's expectantly.)
Vincent: Guys, let's be reasonable here.
Fictionary: Uh… (Sweetie Belle steps up.)
Sweetie Belle: Enough. Enough, all of you. I take your hint, but Sweetie Belle is above such nonsense. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom may behave like ruffians, but Sweetie Belle conducts herself with beauty and grace.
Firelock: Ooh, what's the matter? Afraid you'll get a hair out of place in that rat's nest you call a mane?
(The "beauty and grace" drop out of the contender's voice in an instant.)
Sweetie Belle: Oh, it is on!
(Now onstage and circling Firelock, the aspiring singer regains the bulk of her composure.)
Sweetie Belle: You may think you're tough with all of your so-called powers, but there is more to magic than your brutish ways. A unicorn needs to be more than just muscle.
(She lets her horn speak for her; cut to the curtain, which comes off its rod under her charm.)
Sweetie Belle: (from o.s.) A unicorn needs to have style.
(Back to her on the end of this, the cloth wraps itself into a tight whirl around her body, and a flash clears it away to show the results: she now wears a blue gown trimmed in gold, complete with saddle, that leaves her forelegs bare, and her mane has been styled into a tall bouffant.)
Sweetie Belle: (over crowd's "Ooooh!") A unicorn is not a unicorn without grace and beauty.
(The other unicorn just smirks and gets ready to throw a spell. Cut to Spines.)
Spines: Sweetie Belle won't let Firelock get the best of her! (lovestruck) She's strong, she's beautiful… (Flash from o.s.; his eyes widen) …she's…
(His jaw drops, the crowd mirroring his sentiments in face and voice, and the camera zooms out to stop just behind Sweetie Belle, her head cut off by the top of the screen. Now her composure is totally out the window.)
Sweetie Belle: QUICK! I NEED A MIRROR! GET ME A MIRROR!
(Extreme close-up of her panicked countenance.)
Sweetie Belle: What did she do to my hair? I know she did something terrible to my hair! (Cut to Fictionary, trying not to laugh.)
Fictionary: Nothing. (Quick pan to Scootaloo; ditto.)
Scootaloo: It's fine. (To Apple Bloom, unsettled.)
Apple Bloom: It's gorgeous! (To Spines, stunned.)
Spines: It's green. (The other three glare at him.) What?
(Close-up of the horrified unicorn's face. The few strands of mane that can be seen have indeed gone two different shades of green, and she gasps as the camera zooms out to frame the piled-up mess that now sits on her head. A twig and a few berries are caught in it, and a couple of tails protrude from the uppermost reaches. Evidently Firelock decided to act on that "rat's nest" crack.)
Sweetie Belle: No! Green hair! Not green hair! (She dashes through the crowd, shuddering.) Such an awful, awful color!
(As she sobs and gallops o.s., she passes Peachy Pie, whose mane and tail are now green rather than the shade of light and dark peach seen in "The Ticket Master.")
Peachy Pie: (offended) Well, I never!
Spines: Well, Fictionary, I guess it's up to you.
(Cut to the stage; Firelock blows a bit of dust off one hoof.)
Spines: (from o.s.) Come on. Show her what you're made of. (Back to her amid the intent crowd.)
Fictionary: (smiling nervously) What do you mean? I'm nothing special.
Spines: Yes, you are! You're better than her!
Fictionary: I'm not better than anyone!
Firelock: Ha! (approaching edge of stage) You think you're better than the Great and Powerful Firelock? You think you have more magical talent?
(She is now close enough to glower over the boards at the frightened challenger and the defiant little dragon.)
Firelock: Well, come on. (Zoom in on Fictionary; she continues o.s.) Show Firelock what you've got. (Back to her; extreme close-up.) Show us all.
(The full weight of the crowd's gaze bears down on Fictionary for a moment.)
Fictionary: Who, me? (trying to play it off) I'm just your run-of-the-mill citizen of Ponyville. No powerful magic here. I, uh…I think I hear my laundry calling. Sorry, gotta go.
(Her sudden gallop away from the scene leaves a bunch of very confused ponies and one disappointed assistant.)
Spines: Fictionary…? (Firelock sucks in a disdainful gasp.)
Firelock: Once again, the Great and Powerful Firelock has proven herself— (Slow pan from the crowd to her.) —to be the most amazing unicorn in all of Equestria. (sighing smugly, turning/walking off) Was there ever any doubt?
(As the onlookers disperse, Spines aims a glare toward her that would melt sheet metal, if anyone were to place some in front of his face at this moment. Dissolve to a long shot of the trailer, with the stage and all its effects packed away. Firelock has propped a mirror against the side and is standing before it, using a levitated hairbrush to comb out her mane. Zoom in slightly, then cut to a close-up as Snips' rump pops into view; a tray with a beverage is balanced on it.)
Flim: Here's your smoothie you asked for— (Longer shot; Flam is with him.) —with extra hay, just how you like it.
Flam: Mmm, hay.
(She floats it off the tray and begins to sip, noticing after a moment that the two yo-yos are staring at her with unmitigated adulation. Her response is one of impatience.)
Firelock: Yes?
Flim: Oh, tell us another story, Great and Powerful Firelock.
Flam: Yeah. Tell us about how you vanquished the Ursa Major!
(Regarding them with thinly veiled contempt for a moment, she tosses her head with a little sigh of disdain.)
Firelock: Firelock is far too exhausted from performing feats beyond imagination. Begone with you until morning. (Flim and Flam bow and back away.)
Flim: Oh, of course, Great and Powerful Firelock.
Flam: Anything you say. We are at your beck and call.
(Another noise of mild disgust from her; cut to a close-up of the pair. Spines' voice is enough to halt them and straighten them up.)
Spines: (from o.s.) What are you two doing? (Zoom out to frame him.)
Flim: Just bringin' the G-and-P-F a—
Spines: The what?
Flim: The Great and Powerful Firelock!
Spines: Sheesh.
Flim: Just bringin' her a smoothie.
Spines: How can you fall for her lameness? She's just a showoff, unlike Fictionary, who— (Flim leans angrily into his face.)
Flim: The Great and Powerful Firelock vanquished an Ursa Major! Can your Fictionary claim that? (He ducks back.)
Spines: Oh, really? Were you guys actually there?
Flim: Well, uh, uh…no, but—
Spines: But nothing! The proof is in the pudding.
Flam: (laughing) I like pudding.
(The reptilian voice of reason looks as if he would like to send Flam to the glue factory here and now, but eventually finds some words.)
Spines: Look. Unless an Ursa Major comes waltzing up the street for Firelock to vanquish, I am not gonna believe a word she says! And neither should you! (Close-up of Flim.)
Flim: (smiling) Hmm…an Ursa walkin' up the street, hey? Flam! (Pan to Flam; he continues o.s.) You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Flam: Why is it they call it a flea market when they don't really sell fleas?
Flim: Yeah, uh… (catching himself) …oh, come on!
(The two unicorns take their leave of the unimpressed Spines. Zoom in to a close-up and dissolve to him standing in the library with the same pose. He directs a worried look toward the camera as it zooms out to frame Fictionary on the receiving end, reading a book propped on a stand. The magic checklist from the prologue is still on its easel, but the two have moved it downstairs to the reading room.)
Spines: Fictionary, would you put down that book and just listen to me?
Fictionary: Didn't you see how they hated Firelock's bragging, Spines? If I go out there and show off my magic, I run the risk of losing them as friends.
Spines: It's not the same thing, Fictionary! You'd be using your magic to stand up for your friends.
Fictionary: No, Spines, it's exactly the same.
Spines: (gesturing to list) Come on, Fictionary. Any one of these tricks, even the teeniest, would be enough to show up Firelock.
Fictionary: I don't want to be seen as a bragger like Firelock.
(She conjures up an open door in front of Spines, complete with frame, and slams it shut; he reopens it immediately with a groan to continue the discussion. Cut to a close-up of Fictionary on the next line.)
Spines: But you're the best!
Fictionary: (groaning) Please, Spines, I said no!
Spines: (sighing) If that's the way you want to be, then fine!
(This time, he is the one to slam the door. After a long "you've got to be kidding me" glare from her, he opens it again and walks across the room without looking her in the eye. Once he has passed, she drops her head in silent confusion.)
Vincent: (Walking into the room) Fictionary?
Fictionary: (Looking up) Hey, Vincent.
Vincent: Spines pressuring you again?
Fictionary: Yes. I like doing magic, but only for a very small audience. I can't even perform in front of my friends outside of you and Spines.
Vincent: Take your time, sis. When you're ready, you can start off slow, then you can do more complex spells.
Fictionary: (Hugging Vincent) Thank you, little brother.
(Dissolve to Flim and Flam in one of the gloomier areas of the Everfree Forest. It is evening. They timidly work their way through the overgrowth, the sound of insects and hooting owls unnerving them even further, and enter a cave wide and high enough to fit several of them comfortably either way. Cut to inside; as they proceed further, the light fades away to leave nothing but their four eyes gleaming in the blackness.)
Flim: Oh! How are we gonna find an Ursa Major when I can't even see my own hoof in front of my face?
Flam: Hold on!
(He strains to get a light going on his horn, accompanied by the sound of an engine turning over; the first two tries fizzle out, but his third attempt holds. Behind the pair, a couple of clawed toes attached to an enormous, twinkling blue body can be seen.)
Flim: Oh! That's better.
(Zoom out as both unicorns go bug-eyed with surprise. The body is that of a gargantuan bear creature which begins to wake up from a sleep or hibernation, exposing red eyes with orange whites. It slowly stands up to full height with a threatening growl, not appreciating the disturbance one bit, and leans down to bare its teeth in the pair's faces. The starburst on its head identifies it as an Ursa, and the radius of Flam's light is barely sufficient to illuminate its front half.)
(Snap to black, which fills in with a radially divided three-way split screen: Flam screaming with mane standing on end and light out, Flim doing likewise, and the Ursa roaring in fury. Snap to black again.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to a ground-level pan of a rock being kicked along by Spines. Cut to his downcast face as he shuffles through the park; the reverie breaks when Flim races screaming past him.)
Spines: Hey, guys. (Flam dashes by.) Where are you going?
Flim: Can't talk now!
Flam: Got a major problem! (Back to Spines.)
Spines: (from o.s.) Yeah! Ursa Major, to be exact!
(The beast's not-so-distant roar shakes Spines almost off his feet; he looks in its direction, eyes widening and jaw going slack.)
Spines: Huh?
(He gets moving just in time to avoid being turned into a manhole cover by one gigantic paw.)
Flim, Flam: FIRELOCK!
Spines: FICTIONARY!
(Cut to a treetop-level view of the woodlands outside Ponyville. One after another, the trees topple over to mark the Ursa's rampage and birds scatter into the night. The two half-pint nitwits reach the door of Firelock's trailer, its top half open, and pound frantically on it; the next two lines are delivered together.)
Flim: Firelock, help! You gotta help us!
Flam: Firelock! Come out! Firelock!
(She finally appears, putting her head out through the open top half and looking very cross. For the first time, she is seen with neither hat nor cape.)
Firelock: Firelock thought she said the Great and Powerful Firelock did not want to be disturbed! (Cut to Flim.)
Flim: (laughing nervously) W-We…we have a...a tiny problem. (Pan to Flam.)
Flam: Actually, it's a big one.
Firelock: What is so important that you cannot wait until morning to disturb Firelock?!
(The Ursa's bellow answers her in a heart-stopping instant; quick pan to an empty street, where it is approaching fast. Down on all fours, it stands as tall as the houses on either side. One hearty roar is enough to make her fling the bottom half of the door open, knocking away the two grinning idiots, and send her off in a screaming panic. Once Flim and Flam get up, they do likewise just before one mighty paw stomps the trailer into kindling wood. It roars again.)
(Cut to Fictionary as she tranquilly reads in the library, while Vincent practices his art. Spines skids into view, ruining their mood.)
Vincent: (Paintbrush falls out of his wing.) Hey! I could have ruined my artwork with that!
Spines: Fictionary! You've gotta come! Quick!
Vincent: (Groans) Not this again, Spines.
Fictionary: (testily) I've already told you, Spines, I don't want to show up Firelock.
Spines: No, you don't understand! It's—
(—the Ursa, as evidenced by yet another roar that shakes the building.)
Fictionary: (nervously) Uh, is that what I think it is?
Spines: Majorly.
Fictionary: Vincent, stay here. Spines, come on!
(Spines is flung onto Fictionary's back and they gallop out.)
Vincent: What is going on out there?!
(Quick pan to a long overhead view of Firelock, Flim, and Flam standing in the town square before the monster's slow advance.)
Flim: Great and Powerful Firelock! (Close-up of him and her.) You've got to vanquish the Ursa! (Slight pan; Flam is on her other side.)
Flam: Yeah, vanquish so we can watch!
(Close-up of the menacing ursine visage, saliva dripping from its jaws.)
Flim: (from o.s.) It took a lot of trouble to get that thing here! (Tilt down to frame her.)
Firelock: (shocked) Wait! You brought this here? (Gasp.) Are you out of your little pony minds?!
Flim: But…you're the Great and Powerful Firelock!
Flam: Yeah, remember? You defeated an Ursa Major!
(It chooses that moment to unload a roar that nearly blows them all bald.)
Firelock: Uh…okay. (Gulp.) Stand back!
(A spell from her horn causes the rope she turned against Apple Bloom to rise out of a vase. Close-up of this as it wraps around part of the Ursa's body, then back to the trio. Firelock voices a relieved sigh and smiles thinly.)
Firelock: Piece of cake.
(Or maybe not, as she has only bound two of the digits on one forepaw. The Ursa snaps them loose without trouble, causing her two fans to lose some of their ardor.)
Flim: Aw, come on, Firelock!
Flam: Stop goofin' around and vanquish it, eh?
(A shudder, another gulp, and she has another go at it. This time, her magic calls up a storm cloud that cracks out lightning—but only over the Ursa's tail. No effect.)
Flim: Well, that was a dud.
Flam: Yeah! Pfft! Come on! Where's all the cool explosions and smoke and stuff like earlier, you know?
(Lightning strikes the beast squarely on the rump, leaving a charred patch of fur and doing very little to improve its disposition. Snap to black, which resolves into a view from within its mouth as it opens the slavering jaws wide toward the three unicorns.)
Firelock: Uh-oh.
(Outside again; it bellows in rage and all three bail out, galloping through its legs. Lights go on in windows all over Ponyville as the noise and tremors ruin a good night's sleep. As an unsettled crowd gathers, the Ursa chomps into a roof, sending them into a panicked stampede. Fictionary, with Spines on her back, meets them coming the other way; after she has galloped through them, she hits the brakes and shifts direction. A moment later, she finds Flim and Flam.)
Fictionary: What's going on?
Flim: (laughing) We brought an Ursa to town!
Fictionary: You what?!
Flam: Don't worry, the Great and Powerful Firelock'll vanquish it!
(On the start of this line, zoom out to frame Firelock not far away—and wishing she had never brought her show to Ponyville in the first place. She hangs her head sadly.)
Firelock: I can't.
Flim, Flam: What?!
Firelock: I can't, I never have. No one can vanquish an Ursa Major. I just made the whole story up to make me look better.
Flim, Flam: Made it up?!
(Tilt up from the five as the behemoth towers over a nearby house to perhaps twice its height, blocking out the moon. Fictionary's eyes grow to saucer-size and she grits her teeth to the breaking point; the forepaws come up and the roar comes loud enough to shake all Equestria. Panic from all spectators, including Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle; the last's mane has resumed its usual curled appearance, and she has removed the outfit she improvised for herself during her face-off with Firelock. Spines gives Fictionary an elbow in the ribs and gestures toward the impending destruction as if to say, "Like it or not, you're up to bat." She gives him an uncertain look, then closes her eyes and swallows hard.)
[Note: Peachy Pie appears among the observers, but her mane and tail have reverted to their normal two toned peachy colour.]
(When she opens them again, steely resolve has written itself across the fuchsia irises. She takes measured steps toward the Ursa and stops just short of the massive chest, hooves planted wide to brace herself. Her eyes and jaw squeezed tight, she summons a wind that starts to wave flags on roofs and boughs on trees. As the air circulates through a patch of cattails, it generates a soft, humming melody similar to that a person might produce by running a finger around the edges of water-filled crystal goblets. The notes literally float in one of the Ursa's ears and out the other, causing it to fall silent as its eyelids start to droop. It begins to totter drowsily from side to side.)
Spines: (softly, giving thumbs-up) Nice use of number sixteen!
(The glow from Fictionary's horn intensifies; the wind stops, and she takes hold of a water tower's tank and hoists it clear of the support framework. The top unscrews itself and the water is dumped out, and the two sections float over a tract of farmland and toward an open barn. Here, the tank body goes in while the top continues past; the sound of cows being milked is heard, along with their surprised exclamations.)
Cow: (from inside, Minnesota accent) Golly, dontcha know.
(The body emerges, brimming with milk, and the top aligns itself to fit back in place.)
Spines: That's new.
(Now the top clangs back onto the tank body. The Ursa, meanwhile, begins to topple over in Firelock's direction—but with inches to spare, Fictionary gets it under her control and hauls it back up. Rays have begun to shoot from her horn in all directions due to the strain. The now-placid Ursa hovers quietly just off the ground, then floats up several yards onto its back and receives the improvised baby bottle. As locals watch speechlessly, the colossal creature drifts slowly out of town and back into its cave, nursing all the while.)
(Once it is completely out of sight, Fictionary lets her powers wind down and half-collapses, gasping for breath. The sound of cheering brings her back upright; pan toward the crowd that has gathered behind her.)
Scootaloo: (from o.s.) Unbelievable! (She hovers above them.)
Spines: That was amazing!
Apple Bloom: Heavens to Betsy! We knew you had ability, but not that much!
(Vincent, seeing everything from his bedroom window, gallops out to his sister.)
Vincent: Golly. You were so brave, big sister. Great job.
Fictionary: (fearfully) I'm sorry. Please, please don't hate me.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle: Hate you?
Sweetie Belle: Why, whatever do you mean, darling?
Fictionary: Well…I know how much you all hated Firelock showing off with her magic tricks, and I just thought—
Scootaloo: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Magic's got nothing to do with it. Firelock's just a loudmouth.
Sweetie Belle: Most unpleasant.
Apple Bloom: All hat and no cattle.
Fictionary: So…you don't mind my magic tricks?
Apple Bloom: Your magic is a part of who you are, sugar cube, and we like who you are. We're proud to have such a powerful talented unicorn as our friend.
Scootaloo: And after whuppin' that Ursa's hindquarters, we're even prouder.
Fictionary: (smiling) You are? (Pan across the three.)
Scootaloo: Uh-huh.
Apple Bloom: Mmm-hmm.
Sweetie Belle: Mmm-hmm. (Pan/zoom in on Spines.)
Spines: Wow, Fictionary! How'd you know what to do with that Ursa Major?
Fictionary: That's what I was doing when you came looking for me. I was so intrigued by Firelock's bragging that I was compelled to do a little reading up on them.
Spines: So it is possible to vanquish an Ursa Major all by yourself?
Fictionary: That wasn't an Ursa Major. It was a baby, an Ursa Minor.
Firelock: That was just a baby?
Fictionary: And it wasn't rampaging. It was just cranky because someone woke it up.
(Flim and Flam suddenly find themselves on the wrong end of several angry glares.)
Flim, Flam: Awww…
(Pan to Vincent, passing Babs Seed in the crowd for an instant.)
Vincent: Well, if that was an Ursa Minor, then… (borderline panic) …what's an Ursa Major like?
(Fictionary cuts her eyes away, having been struck by a very unsettling thought. Dissolve to a close-up of the Ursa Minor as it keeps nursing, cradled by something of the same general body style. Zoom out to frame the Ursa Major in the cave, sitting up on its haunches and showing the same starburst on its forehead. The teeth and claws are much longer, and the star-sprinkled fur is purple and shaggy; the relative size difference is about the same as that between a full-grown human and a newborn.)
(Dissolve back to Fictionary.)
Fictionary: You don't want to know. (Firelock crosses to her, bravado restored.)
Firelock: Hah! You may have vanquished an Ursa Minor— (rearing up) —but you will never have the amazing show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Firelock!
(A burst of smoke hides her from view; when it clears, she can be seen galloping away from the camera and out of town. Cut to Scootaloo.)
Scootaloo: Why, that little—
(She takes off, intending to pursue, but stops at the next words.)
Fictionary: (from o.s.) Just let her go. (Long shot of the fleeing unicorn; zoom out to frame Scootaloo watching.) Maybe someday she'll learn her lesson.
(The two boneheads who started this mess begin to sneak away, but freeze when they find Fictionary standing right in their path.)
Fictionary: Now, about you two.
Flim: (laughing nervously) Uh, we're sorry that we woke up the Ursa Minor.
Flam: We just wanted to see some awesome magic!
Flim: Yeah! And the way you vanquished that Ursa Minor was awesome!
(She gives them a searching look; they prostrate themselves before her.)
Flam: We deserve whatever punishment you give us. (Cut to her on the end of this.)
Fictionary: (looking to one side) For starters—
(Cut to the smashed remains of Firelock's trailer.)
Fictionary: (from o.s.) —you can clean up this mess. (Back to her and Spines, both smiling slyly.) And…what do you think, Spines? Should I give them number twenty-five?
Spines: Ohhh, twenty-five! Yes—and I think I deserve it, too.
Flim, Flam: (scared) Huh?
Fictionary: I think you're right.
(Her horn flares brightly, giving the two scrubs a serious case of the jitters; zoom out to frame Spines alongside them. Being the only one who knows what is coming, he pushes his face as close to her as he can from where he stands. All three noses and chins glow, and the view snaps to black. It is immediately tiled in with images to form a radially divided three-way split screen, with Flim at top left, Flam at top right, and Spines at bottom center. The dragon has his black moustache again, while the other two smile at their red ones in different styles.)
Spines, Flim, Flam: Sweet!
(Dissolve to the exterior of the library and zoom in slowly. It is now the following morning.)
Fictionary: (from inside, dictating) "Dear Princess Luna: I have learned a very valuable lesson about friendship."
(Cut to a slow pan across her room and stop on her at a cluttered desk, on which a scroll is spread out. She is levitating a quill to write this report herself.)
Fictionary: "I was so afraid of being thought of as a showoff that I was hiding a part of who I am." (Extreme close-up of her glowing horn; zoom out slowly.) "My friends helped me realize that it's okay to be proud of your talents, and there are times when it's appropriate to show them off—especially when you're standing up for your friends."
Spines: (from o.s.) So… (Pan to frame him and Vincent behind her.) …you finally admit that you're the most talented unicorn in all of Ponyville?
Fictionary: Well… (smiling) …yeah. But it's nothing to brag about.
Vincent: So, uh, how did it go with Sweetie Belle? (Cut to him.)
Spines: (with a groan, fingering facial hair) She didn't go for the moustache. (Zoom out as she walks over.)
Fictionary: You know, Spines, that moustache has nothing to do with who you really are. Maybe you should just try being yourself.
Spines: Or…maybe the moustache wasn't enough. Maybe if I had a moustache and a beard.
Fictionary: (groaning) Not this again!
Vincent: (Sighs) Here we go.
(Cut to the library exterior and zoom out slowly.)
Spines: (from inside, fading out) Okay. Imagine me with a nice long Fu Manchu-type beard. Or maybe a goatee…oh, no, a soul patch!
(The rest of his words become inaudible as the view fades to black.)