Sorry this took a day or two longer than I was hoping & I'm not totally satisfied with it but it just needs to be done. This chapter covers Episode Seven. Thank you all for the comments and encouragements, they really do make it so much easier and fun to write.

CHAPTER 5

Thirty Three

Rayna will leave Teddy.

I show my opponent the pictures of he and this Peggy Kentor, and I know I'm ending Teddy's marriage. Maybe not immediately. Maybe Rayna will buy whatever excuse Teddy gives her for the hand holding and hugs the two of them exchanged.

I've known her since she was born. She and Tandy have been like sisters to me. And, I've known Rayna far too long to think she will buy Teddy's lie. And more importantly, she won't want to believe it.

She bought Deacon's lies for years because she wanted to believe them. She needed to believe him. Deacon was her world and imagining him as not her everything was just too hard for her. Deacon promised her all kinds of things: he'd would get sober, he'd quit getting into fights, he'd stop the drugs, he'd stop going to Putnam Rd, he'd quit breaking her lamps, he'd make it to rehearsal on time. And she believed him.

But Teddy's different. Their relationship is different. It works because Teddy never crosses a line, never pushes her, never forces her into anything she doesn't want. Teddy knows he can't do that. He knows he can't do that because for years, Rayna's been looking for a reason to leave. Any excuse to leave.

So far, Teddy's never overstepped over the line or given her a reason to bolt. Until now.

Maybe these pictures won't do it immediately. The campaign, and the girls. and her career will be difficult for her to navigate. But she's wanted an excuse to leave him for Deacon and Teddy's finally given it to her.

Thirty Four

I accepted the band leader for the Edgehill Anniversary Party.

I knew I should turn it down when I got the phone call. But she'll be there. And I couldn't help but say yes.

I'll just lie to everyone else and tell them I needed another paying gig, or I'm doing it to help Juliette or…hell, it doesn't' even matter. I can say anything I want but everyone will see through it.

I smile at the memory of the first time we played at the Ryman. Hours before the show, Watty had taken us both on stage and told us to let it sink in. The afternoon sun had lit up the stained glass windows while we just stood there and soaked it in.

During the first song, she nearly dropped the microphone from nerves and my hands shook on the first few chords. But after that, the nerves died down but the excitement remained throughout our performance. Damn, I was excited to play the Ryman then.

And I'm more excited tonight than I was then. Just because I get to see her.

Thirty Five

He was wearing a green shirt.

He knows I don't like when he wears green. It makes his blue eyes look hazel, which always drives me crazy. Yet, he chose to wear that during the first rehearsal, after we hadn't seen each other in over a month.

And the scruff on his face is shorter than I like it. And he knows that too. And he his hair is brushed down. I prefer it crazier. More spiked or more un-brushed. And he knows that too. And he knows that I know exactly what he is doing. Five and half weeks after the last time I saw him, he decides to subtlety tell me that he's pissed.

But God….when I saw him, I didn't want to look away. I couldn't look away. Instead I just stared at him while he tried to look anywhere but at me. The conversation itself was mundane and stilted . I said I was fine. He said he couldn't complain about life. He made a comment about working with Liam. I tried to make some cute comment about mixing things up.

And despite the awkward conversation and the green shirt and the short beard and hair…he was still the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

Thirty Six

I do not like Liam McGuinness.

He has an ego on him. And he kept laughing when Rayna made a comment about Juliette's larceny. He openly flirted with the backup singers and played several rifts that messed up my songs. Well, mine and Rayna's songs.

He made several smart ass comments about how he openly loathed Marshall Evans…something about a party years before. And Rayna just rolled her eyes at him like an annoyed little sister. But she didn't say anything to him about playing nice or behaving himself.

And he was drinking out of that damn flask again today. And Rayna didn't say one thing to him. She didn't tell him to put it away or apologize to anybody for him taking another swallow of what smelled like whiskey.

And then I got so annoyed, I started yelling at Ray and Juliette. I was just tired of the stupid back-biting comments. And it was the second day in a row that I've seen Rayna and she's still acting like nothing has happened.

She still hasn't apologized to me about firing me. She still hasn't offered me my job back. Hell, she's found another person to write with her, to record with her, to play with her.

Okay so I don't like the guitar player right now but I'm liking Rayna even less.

Thirty Seven

We fought again today.

Over damn Juliette Barnes. Again. She told me that I was a has-been and she insulted my career. And he just sat there and let her say whatever the hell she wanted. Then I told the truth.

I took Edgehill from 6 rooms in a second floor rental to a four story building on Music Row. I had every booker, manager, and label tell me that I was too young, too pretty, too pop, to new, too spoiled, too stubborn, to ever become anything. I fought hard to get to sing our songs. I stood my ground when they wanted me to pose in lingerie for my album cover. I risked my contract when I performed an acoustic version of "Midnight Dancing" instead of the rock and roll version the label wanted. And this twenty something shakes her ass in white shorts and a corset and sings songs about flirting with guys to get what she wants….

And he defended her to me. He yelled at me for what I said to her but didn't say anything to her.

Instead he reminded me of my short-comings and how this is all my fault.

Then to twisted the knife further. He throws a CD on the table. It is of some damn song he and Juliette wrote together. To everyone else there he was trying to defend Juliette's writing. But that wasn't what he was doing.

But that wasn't why he did that. Nope. He wanted to remind me that they wrote together. And I know what that meant.

He turned to leave and didn't look back. And for a second, I couldn't keep my emotions in check. For a second I felt my lip tremble and saw my vision getting blurred with tears. But I held it in.

At least until I got into the car.

Thirty Eight

I can't stop thinking about the first time we played an anniversary party for Edgehill.

It had been the 5th Anniversary. They rented out Tootsies for the night. There had been cheap beer and appetizers. We were the only signed artist with a gold record. Well by that point we had two. And she'd just won the New Horizon award and we were in the middle of a 90 stop tour. That night, we'd performed two new songs and the four songs that we'd already made Top 25 hits.

It had poured rain during the whole show and the whole night. We'd gotten soaked from the short trip from bar to my truck. As I was driving back to our first apartment, I'd gotten distracted between the rain and Rayna's wet shirt and her wandering hands. I missed a turn and ended up at the entrance to some park I'd never heard of it. Then the rain got so hard, I couldn't see anything. So we made out in the truck for a while until the rain lessened. I asked her if she was ready to go. Rayna just laughed, took her pants off and jumped out of the truck with her camisole and panties on .

And I'd done what I always did….I followed her. We ended up having sex against the hood of the truck with the rain still soaking us. We were both half dressed and soaked to the bone.

Then the rain let up and the moon peaked through the rain clouds for just a minute. The moonlight hit the creek and the entire cobblestone bridge started to glow. With hair plastered to her face and rain drops stuck to her lips, she'd whispered that this was their place.

Our secret place. Of course, two days I had the worst cold ever but it was worth it.

Thirty Nine

I can't stop thinking about the Anniversary Party for the 15 Anniversary. Juliette is going on and on about whether to have a bridge or not and all I can think about is something that happened 10 years ago. Actually, it'd be 10 years ago this week.

And that alone blows my mind. I'd been pregnant with Daphne and nobody outside of Teddy and Tandy knew. But they served caviar and tequila sunrises and the smell had sent me to the bathroom.

Deacon found me, leaning over the toilet in my dressing room. He held my hair as I lost the contents of my lunch. Then when I weakly thanked him, he gave me a simple "Congratulations." I smiled weakly back and asked him how he knew.

For the first time in years, I'd saw him blush when he told me that "the girls were bigger."

My eyes had gotten wider and then we both looked down towards my chest for a minute. When I looked back at up at Deacon, I couldn't help but stare at his lips. And then he was looking staring at me back. The moment was broken up when the nauseous feeling came back and I got sick again. And he held my hair and then rubbed my back. He rubbed my back, just like I used to do for him when he drank too much. Then he got me some water from the bathroom sink and excused himself for a moment.

When Deacon came back, he plopped down on the tile floor with his guitar. He leaned in to my stomach and whispered "you need to give your mom a rest." I told him I didn't think the baby had ears yet but he didn't seem to care.

Five nursery rhymes later and I was still queasy and laying on the floor of the bathroom. So he changed gears and played 'Rose Colored Glasses'. He hadn't sung that to me in years….not since before Vince had died. But it had been Mama's favorite song and it always got to me. And I cried silent tears looking up at him while he kept his eyes focused on my still flat stomach. And by the end of the song, I didn't feel sick.

Then Bucky had interrupted us just gazing at each other. Deacon had excused himself again, this time under the pretense of making sure the band was ready to go on.

And it wasn't until I stood up off the floor that I realized the reason I didn't feel sick to my stomach was because my heart breaking all over again felt so much worse.

Forty

For seven seconds it was like it used to be.

During the second verse Rayna had made her way casually across the stage. She walked past me, and slowly stopped. Then she leaned back towards me and she flipped her hair. I caught a faint whiff of her shampoo; then she smiled at me as her shoulder met mine. And I couldn't help but smile back as her bare leg brushed against my jeans.

And two eight counts later, Juliette came up on the other side of me. And then Ray stepped away and went back to the other side of the stage.

Then for a moment, I was actually envious of Marshall Evans. After all, Ray's dress was damn short and he was sitting in the front row. And I started playing towards Juliette, with another smile on my face wondering what Ray would say if she knew what I was thinking.

And then I waited, cause I knew it was coming. And then she did it. Ray looked back at me with that soft smile and bit her lip and mouthed the word "hey". And I smiled back at her.

Maybe it was seven seconds for now but we were good again. And that was enough…for now.

Forty One

Bucky had my rider changed.

I didn't think about it when I walked backstage, still singing 'Wrong Song' in my head. I was still coming off the high of being on stage, at the Ryman, with new material, with Deacon there.

I knew something was wrong but I quickly turned my attention back to Buck. Liam had popped the champagne while Marshall agreed to let me release my new album. And then there were congratulations and Teddy had come in. And then we left right afterwards.

The flower arrangements were like they always were. Bright flowers on the coffee table and a bigger arrangement near the mirror. There was the bowl of cashews and the regular plate of cheeses. There was the plate of vegetables with the Ranch dressing in the middle. And then the three tiered platter of fruits…. The top bowl had tangerines, my favorite. Then golden delicious apples were in the next bowl and at the bottom were bright red apples, both of which I love.

But now I'm sitting in the passenger seat of the SUV, with the girls gushing about the performance. And Teddy is quiet. And I'm replaying what was in my dressing room…or what wasn't in my dressing room. I text Buck, Change the rider back.

And he responds with an 'K.' And he knows that I realized there were no pineapples in my dressing room. And despite the girls chattering way too loudly and Teddy's odd mood, I can't help but smile. Deacon and I are okay again, so I need pineapples.