A/N: Hey all! It seems I've written an epilogue. I was inspired by a quote I came across from the movie The Wedding Date, "And I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met" and out popped this. I was thinking this would take place right around the end of Kill Shot. As always, thank you so much for reading!

I think I would miss you, even if we had never met. I would miss the words you ignite; my imagination running rampant with feelings never truly felt, but a clear and present longing to feel. A need to grasp something I haven't experienced. I had a lot of time to think this past summer, some momentarily hopeful thoughts that if we had never met, maybe we would be better off. But with those thoughts come understanding, and to see us stand side by side again, Kate, well I am at a loss for words.

You might be shaking your head at me right about now thinking, 'Castle, how would you miss something you never had?' and I don't know that it's that simple; that black and white. I had lived a good life before you showed up at my book signing four years ago. A really good life before the gorgeous detective with the steely gaze and that adorable purse in her lips, who was utterly convinced I was out to make her life a living hell. I have a beautiful daughter to prove it. I lived life each day at a time, wrote when the words came to me, flashed a genuine smile to strangers on the street. I've laughed until I felt stitches in my stomach and have eaten far too many ice cream sundaes with Alexis. It's always been a good life, Kate, even on the bad days. But something was always missing. That spark; someone to come up to me and surprise me.

I don't know that I would describe it as a hollow feeling and it's not that I was an incomplete man, but there is no denying that something shifted inside of me those first few days after we met. I was drawn to you, drawn to your story. Captivated by the loss that flashed across your eyes which was quickly replaced with sheer confidence; a shield, protecting you from something that had the power to break you. You were right, I didn't know you then, but I knew that I was meant to. Come hell or high water, Beckett, I kept coming back. The moments where you would let that adorable smile slip. The one you can't contain but you don't want anyone to see. It was my mission to catch every single one. I was— I am— enthralled by them, how sometimes you turn your head slightly and let your hair just barely cover your face. Repeating it like a mantra to myself not reach out and turn your chin up towards me, so that I could memorize the way your lips turn up or how many seconds it takes for the smile to reach your eyes.

I am influenced by you every day, Kate. You inspire me to be so much more, and that's how I know I would miss you. That those parts of me that you have touched with your beauty and your passion and your determination have irrevocably altered me. It's powerful, and I can say with complete confidence that if I had never met you, I would have subconsciously searched my whole life for you. Something I knew I missed, but never knowing exactly what it was. Like a moth to a flame, but never quite reaching the flame. It's inexplicable and maybe it's just the writer in me, but I have to believe that some things are meant to be. And as I've watched you struggle the past few days, I've kept my distance. It's something I've come to terms with; figured out that this is how I can be the person you need this time. You know I'm not going anywhere, and for the first time since this summer I truly believe you're not going anywhere either. That's because I've seen it, Kate Beckett. I wasn't sure of it before these past couple of weeks, but I saw a glimpse of it at the swings and I stared into it at the bank. You want this. You want this, and maybe you want this just as much as I do.

I love you, Kate, and I want to reach the day where I can tell you that countless times; whisper it in your ear as you lay beside me. I can picture it so vividly. I'll only write this here, but as crazy as it may seem, I can't help but smile at the thought of being married to you one day and possibly giving you all of these love letters. After all, these letters are me, and it's you. It's Nikki, and it's Rook. We fill the pages. A version of us that has never met would still feel that gravitational pull that brings us together. An ache for something more, a longing for something that should be ingrained in you. We have a long road ahead of us, but God yes, I would choose this life over and over again than one without you. You are so much a part of me that no matter what we face or any kind of hope that might be lost again, we will get through it. And hey, maybe tomorrow will be the day I get my partner back. I miss her.

Castle