Chapter 6

Glad this one was a little shorter to the post than the last one! Thank you for the comments ( I told you they were encouraging! ) This is a little sad in places but so were the episodes. This covers Episode 8 and 9!

Thanks again for all the comments and messages!

Forty Two

Cy was with me when I met Rayna.

And now he's offered me a job. With the Rebel Kings. The offer shocked the hell out of me. Actually, Cy and Jimmy's sobriety shocked the hell out of me, the job offer was just unexpected. And flattering. And completely crazy. And I'm considering it. Hell, I'd be an idiot to turn it down.

But I keep thinking about Cy asking what was keeping me in Nashville. At the time, I gave him a look and Cy had just smirked back, "She's still doing it for ya, huh?"

And I didn't say anything, just took a swig of my soda. Cy made a comment about how good Rayna looked at the Ryman, "still got those legs." And I didn't say anything to that either.

And now I am sitting on the front porch remembering the first time I met her like it was yesterday.

Me and Cy had been playing at the Lomax Inn on Friday nights. One of the bartenders heard about Watty White doing open auditions. We got a spot. Watty didn't like us enough to sign us but we became his go-to for back up bands. Five months later, he called us about a gig for some spoiled little rich girl. Cy had hit on her within a few minutes of meeting her and told her she had amazing legs.

Rayna saw straight through him and turned him down flat. I loudly announced, "ouch" before turning towards Rayna for the first time. I apologized for my friend's behavior, "he's not nearly as handsome or charming as he thinks he is."

And Rayna had smiled and her eyes flashed with fire. She'd made some comment about that clearly being a condition for the entire band. I still don't know what the rest of the band said in response. I was too busy looking at her.

And then my eyes narrow. I wonder if Cy has called her. They've always been close. She's been one of the few things Cy wanted that he never got. That made Rayna one of the few people he respected and liked. And he always made her laugh. Normally it was in mockery of him, but still it was laughter.

And then I wonder what she would say about the offer.

Forty Three

Teddy is sleeping in one the guestrooms.

And I don't miss him. I've slept without him hundreds of times before. But never when we were both home in Nashville. Even when things weren't going well or when we'd have a disagreement, he'd still sleep in our bed.

But he is lying about whatever is going on with him and Peggy Kenter. I saw the pictures. I know something is going on.

And I keep thinking about the girls having to face the rumors at school. And Maddie is old enough to understand what an affair is. And despite everything, both of the girls worship the ground Teddy walks on. And this could crush them.

And then there is Coleman. He is the closest thing to a brother I've ever had. Now he's become Daddy, or at least he's a lot more like Daddy than he use to be. But so is Tandy. Hell, so is Teddy.

Forty Four

She didn't ask me to stay.

We were at our place, our secret place. We were together, sitting side by side on one of the picnic tables that was added a few years back.

Rayna confessed that Teddy was complicated. She said their relationship was complicated. And then she started talking about how much the girls thought Teddy hung the moon.

And I sighed out loud. That asshole probably cheated on her and she wasn't leaving him. She hadn't done what my Ray would have done. My Ray would have changed the locks after throwing his crap all over the front lawn. And bruised several of his body parts. She hadn't even seemed mad or upset about it. Just melancholy.

And then I changed the subject and told Ray about my job offer. And she smiled brightly. It wasn't the fake smile she gives people when she's pretending she's happy about something. She seemed actually happy for me about the Rebel Kings.

And then I asked her. I asked what she thought about me taking the job. And she didn't ask me to stay. She didn't even hint that she wanted me stay. I was looking for a sign, something in her eyes or a strain in her voice that told me to stay. But there wasn't one.

Instead she started mumbling about us having to take our own path, or different forks in the road, or going over some bends in the river…or some bullshit like that. And then we looked at each other. And I knew what she's telling me. She couldn't ask me to stay. And I nodded back slightly understanding.

And we spoke for a few more minutes before she leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder.

And I didn't move at all. I didn't say anything. I just closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of her hair. And then all too soon she whispered that she needed to get ready for the press conference. Ray told me to let her know my decision, but she already knew what it was. And so did I.

And even once I heard her car pull off, I just sat there.

Forty Five

Deacon bought me an engagement ring.

It wasn't nearly as big as the rock I saw on Juliette's hand today. But it was prettier, if I do say so myself. I don't know when he bought it exactly but while he was in rehab for the second time, I found it.

He'd been gone for three weeks by that point and neither his pillow nor his usual t-shirts smelt like him anymore. So I was trying to find something else to lay down with. And in the third drawer, under his mismatched socks was the box. The same kind of box my birthday earrings came in.

I'd run my hand over the box, appreciating the velvet softness before I mustered up the courage to open it.

Then I shut it just as quickly, and placed the box back. But five minutes later, I couldn't help myself. I went back and got the box out again. I'd lain on our bed for an hour looking at it. But I didn't dare take it out of the box. And from time to time afterwards, when I knew Deacon was gone for a while, I'd check to see if it was still there. And it was, every bit as beautiful and no where closer to being on my finger.

The last time I saw the ring was the day I moved out. The last time I moved that is. Tandy had already let with one card load. After my clothes, awards, my toiletries, and pictures were packed up I came back into the house one more time. I'd cried out everything I had by that point. And I was just….mad. Mad at him, mad at me, mad at bartenders and alcohol, and Vince for dying.

Out of sheer anger, I marched into the bathroom and went digging through the laundry basket. And I found the extra bottle of whiskey where he always hid it. I threw the glass against the tub wall and watched it shatter, spilling its glass and brown liquor all over the tub and me. Then I cleaned it up, crying the whole time.

With the smell of whiskey still covering my hand, my eyes settled on the dresser. And slowly I walked over and pulled out the drawer. And I found the box. And for the first time, I slipped the ring. My hand was still wet from cleaning up the bottle and one of my nails was chipped from the bottle. But it felt so right.

And after I cried for what felt like forever, I took it off. It was then I caught the inscription. 'Like I do.' I placed the ring back in the box and threw it back in the drawer, not even caring to place it back the way it was before.

Forty Six

I don't like interviews.

At all. I don't like talking about myself or bragging.

But I sure as hell am not doing one about Vince. And Rayna. And me. And I know Amy is asking not because she's a report, but because she cares. And because she misses Vince. And because she's always been attracted to me.

Rayna almost beat her ass one night when Amy's hand got near my crotch. And that thought alone makes me smile.

Amy and Vince had always been friends with benefits and they'd been that for each other for years. Nothing too serious or too involved. And Vince fucked other girls, she fucked other guys. But they were still close. Or closer than they were with anybody else.

But I don't want to think about it right now. I sure as hell don't want to talk about. So I make a wisecrack and turn off the recorder.

Forty Seven

Glenn asked me if I was okay.

So did Buck. So did Liam. So did the security guard at the recording studio. And I say I'm fine to each of them. I lied to them. They know I lied to them.

Forty Eight

My wife told me she was unhappy.

She didn't tell me she was angry at me. Or devastated by my actions. Instead she told me that she loved me. But that for the last few years she doesn't know if she's been happy. And then mentioned she didn't know if I'd been happy either.

And I couldn't say anything or do anything. I just stood there. What was I suppose to say when she started talking about the state of marriage? Was I supposed to tell her that I have been happy, that I've been hanging on with everything I have? Was I supposed to say the reason I ran for Mayor was to make her proud? Was I suppose to tell her that I wanted to the job to give her a reason to focus more on our family and less on her career?

And then Rayna started talking about the tour being a cover for our marriage problems. And then I managed to get out a calm few lines about that being a good idea and wanting to make our marriage work.

But the worst part is while I will spend the night pacing in the guest room and feeling like I might break in two, she will sleep peacefully. She'll sleep fine cause she is finally saying what she's wanted to for years.

Forty Nine

My head doesn't hurt from the loud music.

That may be part of it but that isn't all of it. And despite the Tylenol and the hours it's been since I left the arena, my head still hurts. And even after having sex with Amy twice, it hurts.

And then I walk over to the hotel window and take in the view, watching as the people below started their morning. And my head still hurts.

Nothing makes sense right now. I've still got hairspray in my hair from like 18 hours ago. Ray has an arena tour. Juliette is getting married to some NFL player she met a split second ago. And Ray didn't mention anything to me about this tour. And Juliette and Rayna are going on tour together. Coleman is losing the race at this point despite Teddy's affair…or whatever it is. And Rayna is going to have to get a new guitar player on this arena tour.

And if I wanted to be really honest with myself, it is the last one that is making my head hurt.