THANK YOU SO MUCH TO MY REVIEWERS! A special shoutout to BeckyPo for her incredibly generous comments and help :) . As always, thank you so much for every review and PM! This chapter encompasses Episode 10.
Hope you enjoy!
CHAPTER 7
Fifty
I always wanted to go to summer camp.
When I was a little kid, I'd beg my mom to let me go to Camp Brown Bear. It was a camp about three hours away that had campfires, and archery, and a secret brown bear handshake. There was even a picture on the brochure that had a big lake with huge diving boards and a big inflatable blob thing you could jump on.
But we couldn't afford it and I was allergic to poison ivy. Plus Mama always said she'd miss too much. I told Rayna about Camp Brown Bear one night after we made a sang at some half empty bar outside of Knoxville. I told her how I'd always wanted to sleep under the stars and learn to canoe. She kissed my cheek while I pouted and said "poor baby."
Then about four years later, the two of us had somehow managed to get off for six days right before Thanksgiving. Vince and I made plans to go fishing for the afternoon after Ray told me she was going to see Tandy.
When I came home that night, our living room was bathed only in the glow of the fireplace. Once my eyes adjusted, I realized the couch and the chairs had been turned to face opposite walls. And over the back of the furniture, Ray had draped every sheet and blanket we owed, creating a huge tent.
Under the tent were two sleeping bags, my camouflage one and some nice blue one I'd never seen before. To the right was the fireplace, with a couple of stretched out wire hangers leaning against the harth. To the right of the hangers, was a plant of raw hot dogs and buns with mustard, ketchup, and the her homemade chili.
On one wall was a huge poster that Ray had painted with the words "WELCOME TO CAMP BROWN BEAR". On the opposite wall, she made signs pointing to the craft hut, the swimming pool, and the dining hall. There was a smaller piece of paper with bunch of made up names and their assigned camp counselor. According to that sign, I'd been assigned to Counselor Jaymes. She'd even put glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling…you know, like the kind little kids put up in their rooms.
And while I was still taking it all it, Ray had appeared, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. She'd been wearing the shortest khaki shorts I'd ever seen. And she'd taken a button up white shirt and tied it tightly right under her breasts so it was basically covering nothing more than her bra did.
She'd worn a whistle around her neck, drawing even more attention to the girls. And she had some ridiculous hat that looked like the kind guys wore fly fishing over her pigtails.
That night, we'd grilled hotdogs over the fireplaces, then I played my guitar for her under the glowing stars.
Later, she pulled out chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers from the kitchen to make smores. And then the two of us had fun when the chocolate started to melt on our fingers...and other body parts.
Then I showed her my version of the brown bear handshake in order to get into her sleeping bag. We didn't leave the house for another day and half and stayed under the tents for two more nights. It took until the day for us to make it to the the master bathroom. She'd put up signs all over the mirror and the tile which rules like 'You must swim with a partner.'
She was always doing stuff like that. She'd store away the littlest story I told her, then weeks, months, even years later would surprise in the most amazing ways.
And when she'd do something like that, I would always say thank you and tell her I loved her in between kisses. And Ray would do that adorable giggle thing and say something like, she'd only make a fool out of herself for me.
Fifty One
My second guitarist quit today.
In as many weeks. And both of them basically called me a diva on their way out the door. Buck said he'd try to find somebody else but didn't know if he'd be able to find anybody that I was satisfied with.
I'm not being a diva, I'm being particular. You don't get CMA and Grammy awards, multi-platinum CDs, and arena tours without being particular. And I just happen to want things to sound the exact way Deacon plays.
Fifty Two
I don't take redheads home.
Or even women with more strawberry than blonde in their hair. I stick to brunettes or bleach blondes.
But never redheads. Maybe, I'm afraid of getting a little too lost in some random girl. Maybe I'm afraid of rolling over in the middle the night and thinking, even for a second, it's her. Maybe I'm just not attracted to any of redhead besides Ray. I don't rightly know exactly the reason I don't sleep with that's just my rule.
Until last night.
I don't even remember her name but she was a pretty little thing. And she clearly wanted an invitation back to the hotel. And she got one. And afterwards, she wanted to do the small talk thing. But I just couldn't bring myself to lay there. I was too polite to kick her out. Instead I pretended I had a late meeting with the sound check guy.
So then I walked around downtown until I was sure she'd either gone home or fallen asleep. And since then I've been to two meetings, one with the band in one of the hotel meeting rooms. The second was at a church a few miles away. I said nothing at either.
Tomorrow, Scarlett and Gunnar will be here. That'll be a good distraction for a few days.
Fifty Three
Yeah, I lied.
Deacon and I did make out when we were in the upper decks. And sometimes we would even get handsey when there was no one around. We'd only had actual sex twice up in the balconys. Considering all the tours we ever done, that actually isn't a high number. But the second time, we traumatized a member of the cleaning crew. After that we decided if things got to hot and heavy up, we'd take it to my dressing room. Or his prep room. Or an empty stairwell.
But I was telling the truth about the main reason Deacon and I always went up there. It was a tradition Deacon started back when I was the opening act for Alan Jackson. Deacon said he wanted us to remember to play to the people he used to be. He always reminded me that people paid good money to come see us. And we should play to them as much as we should play to the VIPs. It was one of the many reasons I loved him.
He always put things in perspective for me. He always made sure I saw the big picture and kept me focused on exactly what I wanted. Ironically enough, he was always terrible at doing that for himself.
Fifty Four
Two security guards had to pull me of Cy.
They were big guys too. But before they got to me, I'd already thrown Cy through a damn table and had him on his back. Even after yelled that I quit, Cy said something else smart ass and I went back for more. But Scarlett stopped me and drug me out. Still. I've been in two fights since I got sober. Both of them have been since Ray and I sang at The Bluebird.
But when Coleman called me this morning, I didn't mention that to him. I just told him that he'd made a pass at Scarlett and after she kicked him in the balls, I'd quit.
And now I'm out of a job. Again. But I'm actually glad about it this time. I needed an excuse to leave this circus.
Fifty Five
I just caught a commercial for Black Friday savings at Target.
It reminds me how I use to spend those Thursday nights when Deacon and I were together. For whatever reason, we almost always had a few days around Thanksgiving to go home. Some years it was a day or two, and others a few days longer. Deacon's sister always spent it at her in-laws house. And so we'd generally head back to Nashville.
Normally Deacon and I made an appearance at Daddy's house for lunch. Coleman use to come and bring whoever his girlfriend at the time was. When they were still married, Tandy and Charlie would come over. And my aunt when she was alive would be there too.
Deacon and I would strategically get there ten minutes before lunch was served and then take the dessert to go. Generally speaking, that gave Daddy minimal time to hound me about my career. Still, Daddy always managed to get in a comment about Deacon refusing to wearing a jeans to Thanksgiving lunch.
Then we'd head north to Kentucky in Deacon's truck. In the later years, we'd go in the SUV. I'd have the hot chocolate in a thermos and snacks for the road. We would have blankets, gloves, scarves, hats in the floorboard and a sled, rope, and a couple of axes in the back. It generally took up about three hours to get up to Starr Farms.
He and I would go up on the mountain and pick out our own Christmas was a tradition he'd done with his Dad as a child on Thanksgiving Day and one that he shared with me. Only with me.
Once the tree was secured to the vehicle, the two of us would head back home. That night the tree we'd always put the tree up. And even though we'd always been exhausted, we would always do what my mom and I did on Thanksgiving night. We would watch White Christmas on an old VHS tape while we at the pumpkin pie we took from Daddy's house.
I still watch White Christmas on Thanksgiving night, but I normally do it by myself. The girls don't like the movie now that they are older and Teddy is normally watching sports. But Deacon still goes to Starr Farms every year.
In the last couple of years, I'll call when I start the movie. During the non-song parts, he describes the kind of tree he picked out and fills me in on how Coleman and Audrey are doing. I share with him the many different ways Daddy was unpleasant during lunch and how bad Tandy messed up on the stuffing.
I just happen to look up the Revel Kings concert schedule. And they have a concert on Thanksgiving night in Chicago. So there will be no tree for him. No phone call for me.
But maybe that is a good thing. Maybe, I need to be creating new traditions. Maybe the girls and I will start watching some other movie together.
I bite my lip and look up to try and stop from crying. But a few tears manage to leak out before my driver calls. And I have to catch that plane back to Nashville for the election results.
Fifty Six
My sister and I are very different people.
She's always been loud and I'm quiet. She's always been artistic and emotional. I've always been more calm and more rational about things. Since I was a little girl, I've always gravitated towards Daddy. Rayna has always pushed him away. I can count the number of times I snuck out of Daddy's house as a teenager. Meanwhile, Rayna moved out a few months before she turned seventeen. She's a mom and a wife and one of the most recognizable women in the country. She wears sparkly skirts, poses for magazine covers, sings songs with her ex-lover, and has always had people fawning all over her. In other words, she is very much the opposite of me.
But there isn't a person I love more than Rayna Lynn. That's what Mama use to call her. And Mama used to call me Tandy Mae. And tonight, Ranya Lynn became Mrs. Mayor-Elect. And Mrs. Mayor-Elect looked like she wanted to kill me while she was on stage.
But I was just a tad too drunk on expensive wine and the taste of victory to care. Besides, Rayna at least looked at me with some emotion tonight. She practically looked through Teddy the whole night. The only time she even cracked an authentic smile was to something the girls said.