Title: Here I stand, Welcome to the Mafia
Rating: T
Warning: Characters maybe OOC, many references, and some cussing.
Summary: In dying, I expected to be in front of those praised pearly gates of heaven,basked in the divine light of goodness and feeling the naked holiness whilst being welcomed by an entourage of celestial hotties with perfect proportions. Instead, I'm stark naked inside a small incubator, apparently suffering a minimal mishap after being delivered into this world.
Author's Note: First off, thanks for the reviews, follows and faves. It served as a motivation to start on the next chapter, an achievement on my part since I have the tendency to leave things as it is. Second, my apologies for the super late update. My reason, college life. Medical college course. Stuff to do. So yeah, my apologies. Third. Review response to the following:
To iluvfairytale: If you're talking about pre-reincarnation, I leave that for the readers to decide. But if its post-reincarnation, then it's a boy.
To KiraLoveless: Thank you for the love. And here is the next chapter for you. * ^ *
Disclaimer: Forgot to put this in the last chapter. I OWN NOTHING BUT THIS STORY AND A FEW CHARACTERS.
Chapter 2: Patience, First times and a Crap Load of New Things
Patience.
Unlike any other word, the word 'Patience' has a definite and universal meaning that is known to everyone. Though that is established, despite its general meaning, humanity is comprised of a planet full of intellectuals that varies from each other, hence there are diversities of perspectives on how the population view and understand the word 'Patience'. There are numerous standpoints on the concept of 'Patience' but there are three categorical perspectives that stand out the most.
The first category focuses on the religious perspective. In the religion of Christianity, the word Patience is widely known as part of the seven heavenly virtues of their faith. Patience in this area is, according to Wikipedia, is 'a virtue of forbearance and endurance through temperance, of resolving conflicts through pacifistic ways, of showing mercy and of peace.' This description is also found in Buddhism with somewhat little difference wherein their virtue of 'Patience' lies where endurance is practiced, especially if he or she is found in a difficult situation. Mostly, if not all, religions have their perspective of Patience to exhibit fortitude in the face of most situations.
Meanwhile, the scientific perspective integrates the word to human or animal behavior of self-control. It is viewed as a factor that has an effect on the choices an organism makes; an element in whatever decision-making is to be conducted. Basically, decision-making that involves choices between shortcuts with little benefits and long-ways with bigger benefits, animals and humans tend to choose the one with the easiest and least amount of work involved even though there are little benefits garnered rather than the ways that requires patience which is accompanied by larger benefits.
Lastly, the third category is the universal perspective, also known as, the general public opinion. Among the three categories, this one is the most recognized one. For these individuals, they take the word 'Patience' for its dictionary value. To them, patience is 'an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay' or in simpler terms, people who can wait and suppress themselves in any condition without combusting in rage.
In today's society, immediateness is a dominant term that applies to everything we do due to the technological advances that gives everyone what they need at a touch of a finger tip. Because of this, the conceptual value of patience has been reduced to a mere few minutes of waiting for a video to load due to terrible WiFi reception instead of an eternal waiting period for the coming of the Messiah. And unfortunately, the ratio of individuals who have high tolerance is lower than those who do not posses it. Those who do not have it are, as society dictates, a normal person and those who do are often victims to the idiom 'one who has a patience of a saint'.
And then there's me.
I've been through a lot of crap lately and ironically, it all started on the day that I died. And at that point on, it progressed into a horrendous college kid's nightmare. I know that a lot of anime fans and whatnot would die to be in my situation but please, have you considered the intensity of the circumstances?
Apparently, I have been born, well, reincarnated into a mafia themed shounen manga called Katekyo Hitman Reborn. May I emphasize the word MAFIA—an organization composed primarily of criminals and people who rarely abide by the standard laws established. People who actually want to be in my situation are crazy. And speaking of crazy, everyone around me is crazy. They have no sense of caution and they just whip out their guns uncaringly and yell a lot even though there is a freaking baby within the vicinity. Actually, they're confident enough to defy physics and not even lay a scratch on me even when the whole room looks like an aftermath of Die Hard gone wild.
Furthermore, it seems like my reincarnation here, in this specific world, is a paradoxical coincidence. I say paradoxical because yes, I was supposed to be reincarnated here and no, because while my soul is reincarnated in this universe, I'm suppose to start on a clean slate; meaning the memories of my previous existence would have been purged from my soul.
Well, that is all according to Sepira, the voice in my head that was with me on the moment I woke up in this universe. She knows a lot but she'd been vague with her answers. I think of her as a mother with her nagging attitude towards my slightly profane mentality which annoys me. Added with the insanity that is everything in the KHR universe, I would have exploded in raged at how maddening everything is by now but somehow, my patience and willpower to keep calm and carry on prevailed over my urges.
With the kind of bat-shit crazy lifestyle I have and am going to live with till my next moment of death, I should have a medal for this.
Better yet, I should be canonized on my deathbed.
It has been a year or so since I have died. It has been a year since I found myself barely wearing anything inside an incubator surrounded by individuals of notorious affiliations. It has been a year since a dying will flame has combusted on my forehead. It has been a year since I realized I've actually been reborn into the insanity that is the universe of Katekyo Hitman Reborn. And as the months progressed, I found myself accumulating information and constructing a mental list about the things around me:
1) My name is Venezio Cosimo
2) My mother is Olympia Cosimo
3)Said mother is in the mafia and is the sister of the boss of a somewhat known family which makes said mother a candidate for succession should anything happen to the head and his family
4)Also, said mother is working for the CEDEF
5)And apparently, my godfather is Iemitsu Sawada
6)And today she is taking me to work with her because of godfather's request and due to the fact there was no one to baby sit me
I mentally scoffed at the last part. In a house hold of a mafia famiglia, there are at least two to three people who are free from a mission and based from the one year I spent in that house hold, that was actually the case. And in my case, a lot of blood relatives, women and kid loving subordinates actually wanted to baby sit me just for a change of pace now and then. It was good and all but please, have you ever considered the type of house hold I live in?
It just so happened that my beloved mother walked in on the family's right hand man and another subordinate having a sword fight while cussing up a super-typhoon. According to conversations, my mother wouldn't have minded and would have joined in the fray.
And she did.
For an entirely different reason.
Anyway, long story short, the aftermath was a room destroyed, two men adorning numerous burns and other type of injuries and an earful of scolding from an enraged mother about how they're recklessness could have killed me.
If I could speak properly, I would have pointed out the fact that she burned down the entire room.
But then again, talking back to a provoked mother bear isn't actually a wise idea.
And now the following day arrived and here my mother stands in front of the CEDEF headquarters with a baby carrier strapped to the ventral side of her body that contains me and the hideous jumpsuit with a Mickey Mouse hoodie.
For any baby of my age, wearing such an atrocity is something they wouldn't mind. In fact, the likelihood of them ever remembering being a victim to such unbearable humiliation is like the chances of the sun exploding at the command of a leech.
Negative-fucking-infinity.
There is a very big difference between other babies and me. They have undeveloped brains while I have the consciousness of an individual in their adolescent years and as such find my current predicament a poison to the little dignity that I have left. I say 'little' because seriously, when you get to that age where you've experienced enough high jinks to last the next sixty years of your life, the concept of dignity is as foreign as an alien.
'I do not think it is as horrible as you describe it to be. It gives you a certain charm, if I say so myself.'
My right eye twitched as the slight giggles of Sepira's voice echoed in my thoughts.
I'm positive she's talking about the gloves.
Yes, along with this fucking hoodie, I had to wear Mickey's gloves. And only this woman within my mind actually finds it appealing.
Only because she has a kink for men with gloves.
She didn't exactly out right say it but the fact that she had pointed out that she married a man with a collection of gloves when people put those mitten-gloves thing on my hand during the early infancy stage of my life. Not to mention that she keeps going on lengths when she would describe Vongola Primo's battles. Sepira would give emphasis on Giotto's I-gloves.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep well that night.
As my mother decided to navigate to her destination, I couldn't help but feel the eyes of the other employees on me. It's the same stares I've received when I first arrived in my new home. However, the stares of the CEDEF members are less intense than the vibes from mother's—our famiglia sent me. In any case, here, it was more out of curiosity with mixed with slight astonishment if my interpretation is correct.
I let myself be succumbed to evaluating thoughts regarding the CEDEF headquarters, something I shouldn't have done, especially in this place where a man who likes to grab children and throw them around lurks at every corner. I just realized this truth about Iemitsu Sawada when I felt myself being hoisted up from my baby carrier and unceremoniously thrown up into the air.
Let me tell you something about this kind of thing: if you've experienced the drop tower at Six Flags, then you'd know that distinct feeling in your stomach. The average adult after every ride would feel something akin to uneasiness. That's what I felt. And at this point, I am but a twelve month old boy. So it's not uncommon for my baby urges to overtake me and express my feeling of discomfort through an ear piercing cry after the ride.
By the fact that Iemitsu was sweating bullets, I could tell that my mother has that looks that indicates that she's on the warpath to inflict pain on the one who made her baby cry.
When my tantrum subsided, I was too exhausted to take note of the repercussion but I swear, I can still smell the after smoke of a one-sided rage battle.
The next time I awoke, it was to find myself on a couch with an ugly ass clown toy staring me down like I did something wrong, which I didn't, by the way. However, the look on its face was enough to warrant a punch from my baby fist and the thing proceeded to topple its humungous body on top of me. My automatic response was to struggle to get that thing off me as I cussed up a vocabulary of rainbow unicorn shit.
But they came out as babbles still.
Click. Flash.
That very sequence of sounds made me immobile in my current battle of dominance against the stuff toy. That specific sound that I loved to hear when I looked my best and loathed it in when I'm in my worst left a very dreadful feeling in the pits of my gut as it sounded for a second time.
Click. Flash.
"Another one for the album! My godson looks adorable but not as adorable as my—"
Adrenaline rushed through my veins as the offender named Iemitsu Sawada laughed at my totally embarrassing predicament and before I could register my actions, I promptly grabbed the heavy stuffed clown and proceeded to execute an extremely hard throw towards the target that is the CEDEF boss.
There are a number of things you should and should not do when you are holding a camera. One of them is pointing it at me and taking a picture of my great effort against a stuff toy; an embarrassing moment that I would like to forget that ever happened.
I felt a sense of satisfaction as I heard the camera smash onto Iemitsu's face before he continued to fall down on his behind.
Fuck yeah.
You don't mess with a baby.
Especially me.
You don't do that to me.[1]
I drowned out Sepira's nagging about my code of conduct inside my thoughts while I depicted an image of the perfect one year old, playing with my hands and laughing nonchalantly at nothing at all in particular.
Honestly, I live in a world that defies even simplest form of the fundamental concepts of logic and physics; the least I could have done is abuse that factor to my benefit. And I will, at due time but not now. Not until I've relished my days of youth and live life like I've envisioned it to be; try the things that I wanted to do but couldn't due to some things that hinder me from doing it. You get my drift? Because eventually, I will have to be involved in this world's logic defying antics and until then, I will relish this moment of normality.
Or at least when Sepira actually gives me the 'talk'.
Not the 'birds and the bees' one but my purpose in this world. Apparently, I do have a purpose in this universe. If anything it would be a something behind the scene which is still debatable with the lack of information in hand. I'm not really sure about this because Sepira is being tight lipped about the whole thing.
In any case, the only thing she did say is that I've a purpose in this world, which is why I have my set of memories with me from the previous world. Sepira pulled me out of the auto-reincarnation loop that complete purges every little detail that was embed on my spirit thus allowing it to start on a new slate. She needed an error individual to accomplish her purpose by acting as her vessel since she doesn't have one. And by coincidence, she chose me.
And this is why I'm actually sitting here like the dumb clueless baby I'm supposed to be instead of going all out and causing havoc and ruling the world as a tyrant with an iron fist.
Not that I could anyway.
Even in this world, that is something I can doubtfully manage. So now, I'll just enjoy the scenery of the spluttering CEDEF boss telling everybody that I gave him the bloody nose while Turmeric just gave him a funny look and my mother emanated an ominous aura as she cracked her knuckles.
My godfather chose the wise path of keeping his comments to himself.
No man is a match against a fierce mother, especially when it comes to their child.
Still, I doubt Iemitsu has been subjected to such a situation till now since he hasn't been exactly spending time with his own family. And if he did, I think he'd be the first one to maul a person who'd cause distress towards his beloved Nana-chan and Tsuna-kun.
For a care-free sort of guy, he can be scary when he wants to. If the fact that he is a boss of an organization that is part of one of the most powerful families isn't a dead give a way that he's taking this job seriously meaning he is badass, then you must be a universal imbecile.
"Is your Uncle Iemitsu being a meanie?" my mother, Olympia, crouched down to my level as she fixed the buttons of my jumper.
I took this moment too look over the blonde hair man, our eyes making contact for a brief moment. I didn't hesitate to give him that troll-face look.
Cue baby acting.
I started babbling a mile a minute with a pout of discontentment etched on my features as I pointed accusingly at Iemitsu. It was all that was needed for my mother to direct a reprimanding glare at the offender. I could see the look of disbelief on the man's face from my peripheral and I didn't hesitate to stick out my tongue at him when my mother carried me off the couch.
"Honestly boss, it's been a year since you last saw him and the first thing you do is agitate him with your antics." Olympia huffed as she tamed my hair. Judging by her expression, she's unsuccessful.
"But most babies love being thrown in the air! It always makes them laugh! Even Basil laughs when I give him a drop tower ride and he's usually a quiet baby!" Iemitsu reasoned out.
"Well, have you considered that he isn't part of population who likes to be randomly thrown about?"
An incoherent mumble was heard from the blonde.
"And really, accusing a baby for your own clumsiness? That's just downright disappointing."
"B-but he really did throw that stuffed toy at me! It's like he got pissed out of embarrassment!"
You're not actually far off, Sawada.
Olympia gave her boss a blank stare.
"My son is a baby. You actually expect me to believe that a twelve month old baby just managed to throw a stuffed toy twice his weight at you?"
There was a moment of silence
"Uh…What if he's actually an Arcobal—" Turmeric began.
"Let me remind you I managed to fracture Boss' hand while I was pushing that seven pound of monstrosity out of my womanhood. The man's a testament to Venezio's normality." My mother was quick to dismiss the other man's theory.
"Maybe the Boss is exhausted from all the work and needs a vacation?" the other man voiced with uncertainty.
"I just got back from Japan last week!"
Before things escalated into a heated argument, the door to the room opened. Everyone, including myself, focused their attention on the newcomer and somehow, I think I've figured out why I'm actually here today. And why I am wearing this horrendous piece of shit.
A brunette wearing a corporate attire stood by the opened door. In one of her arms is a blue baby bag with dolphin designs and on the other hand was a girl wearing a jumpsuit similar to mine, with a ribbon placed atop her head. She was adorning that cherubic expression of innocence on her face that made her look…adorable?
That sounded weird coming from me, a baby with a consciousness of an adolescent.
I feel like a pedophile.
"Oi Oregano, what took you so long? Was changing Basil too much work for you?"
Oh.
Somehow, I can hear whatever pride I have left being bulldozed by the Komatsu D575A[2].
"M-my apologies. I don't exactly have prior experience about baby care." The woman in question apologized, an embarrassed blushed tinted her cheeks.
"Nah, its fine." Olympia waved her off. "Now come on, Ven. Say hi to your new friend Basil~" Olympia urged me on. But I couldn't do it.
I was too embarrassed to look at the other baby.
Especially after I mistook of him for an adorable girl.
Just the thought of it made me bury my furiously blushing face deeper into my mother's neck.
"Never pegged him for the shy type especially with what happened earlier. " Iemitsu piped in. "Ah~ Maybe he's a tsundere!"
Honestly…
No comment.
Further evaluation is needed.
The moment was cut short when another CEDEF member paced into the room, a look of panic and distress evident in their features. Something about an attack and a need for backup was the gist of their conversation. I don't really know since I was too busy trying to wish myself away from everything while Sepira tried to console me in my thoughts. However, the lack of sincerity in her words didn't make me feel better. In fact, the feeling of her amusement resonated throughout my entire being.
Because of my initial distraction, I didn't realize that everyone else already left the vicinity, except Turmeric who's set on babysitting duty. By the time that I did, I was already in the playpen with Basil and the large ass clown toy that I have dubbed as Pippin. And no, it has nothing to do with that character from Lord of the Rings. It just felt right.
Anyway, while the other baby decided to entertain myself with the available block towers, I decided to pass my time by thinking of actually what to do right now till this play date is over.
Yes, this is actually a play date between me and Basil.
The dynamic Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse jumpsuit speaks for itself.
As my eyes scanned for things to do, wandering orbs settled on the built in mirror on one of the playpen's wall. I stared at the image reflected on the mirror and found myself bemused as a baby boy with an unruly head of platinum blonde hair and the most vibrant red eyes with a distinct starry symbol stared back at me. I look like a hybrid between Haru from Tsuritama and Shokuhou Misaki from the To Aru-Index series with the hair and the eyes.
I inherited most of my mother's looks.
And frankly speaking, I didn't actually think I'd look a lot like Olympia. Well, except the eye color. She has the same hair color as mine, platinum blonde that was always tied up in a ponytail and blue eyes that held the same starry shaped symbol; most likely a family thing since relatives that have held me are also 'starry-eyed'.
'I do believe it is a family trait.' Sepira chimed in.
'Huh. What makes you say that?'
'I distinctly remember asking the Cosimo Primo during our alliance meeting.'
'An alliance meeting?'
'Yes. Though mostly it was to discuss the inheritors of the Tri-ni-set rings rather than discussing the actual alliance.'
Tri-ni-set. The word caught my interest and it seems vaguely familiar. I encountered the word through my KHR manga readings quite a few times though I haven't exactly pin-pointed the exact significance of the word. The more I ponder on its supposed meaning, words such as clams, sea and rainbows would pop up just behind it.
'Tri-ni-set rings? You mean those rings that can turn anyone into a magical boy?'
'Magical boy? I do believe that you are referring to something else. The Tri-ni-set are a powerful set of rings that administer the growth and development of this plant as well as maintain the balance of its life force. Originally, the Tri-ni-set are composed of seven stones that were sustained by our species.'
'Wait, species? Are you an alien?' I cut her off with a question.
'No, I am not. If anything, you humans are the aliens. Our species have inhabited this planet long before your kind even existed. ' Sepira answered. 'Though throughout the millennia, our population diminished and this forced us to rely on the abilities of men which is the reason why those stones were divided into three sets that possessed seven rings. One set, the Arcobaleno Pacifiers, are given to the era's strongest seven. The other set is the Mare Rings which is entrusted to my famiglia. And the last set, the Vongola Rings, was in inherited by Vongola Primo and his famiglia.
'Initially, I have planned to entrust the Vongola rings to Cosimo Primo, however he outright rejected the very notion of being the bearer of too much responsibility.'
What.
The.
Hell.
'….So basically my great-whatever-grandfather is a good for nothing idiot.' I monotonously stated.
'NO! He was most definitely NOT a good for nothing! Nor is he an idiot! He is a very honorable man!' Sepira was, surprisingly, quick to defend my ancestor's honor.
'And you're not just saying this because he wears gloves?'
'Of course not! He does not even wear gloves! Furthermore, he had his reasons; reasons that I, myself, am aware off but, disappointingly, did not put in to consideration.'
'And those reasons would be…?' I asked but Sepira remained uncharacteristically silent.
Bingo.
I just found my current pass-time.
I then proceeded to bombard the woman with a hundred questions every half a minute.
And because of this, I have committed another mistake; a mistake that will either be forgotten entirely or will be used for merciless teasing and blackmail in the future.
As I pestered the other occupant in my mind, I didn't actually take notice of the other inhabitant within the playpen seemingly getting closer to me. At first, I didn't pay attention to him. But then Basil began to babble baby speech that meant shit-percent recognition in my vocabulary, no matter how expressive and animated his hand gestures are. I still ignored him in favor of getting answers from Sepira.
This seemed to trigger something in the other baby. And before I registered what was happening, the other baby just grabbed me by the cheek and smacked his puckered lips onto mine. And that, my friends, is how the CEDEF's very first childhood sweetheart couple was formed.
By the sounds of things, it seems like I wasn't the only one caught off guard by the sudden turn of events judging from Turmeric's sudden spit-take of his coffee.
Immediately, the man separated the both off us and placed each one of us on the opposite side of the couch, his body serving as a wall to prevent anymore unwanted homosexual moments between Basil and myself. Although the purpose serves Basil more than me, seeing as the other boy is trying his darn hardest to get across the human barrier while I, on the other hand, sat on my side of the couch with disbelief still coursing through my entirety.
In my defense, I am a person who is under the category of 'never been kissed' even in my previous life. But apparently, this doesn't apply to me now. So this is actually quite shocking.
Note to self: Be more attentive.
By the fact I can literally feel Sepira's giggling, the woman was glowing with amusement at the happenings. And maybe a little sentiment of nostalgia but I might be wrong since her amusement towards the situation prevailed over everything else. If I wasn't too shocked I would have told her off.
Or at least tried.
Not that it ever worked.
I just hope that Turmeric is a 'keep-it-to-youself' kind of guy and forget this ever happened to save the grain of dignity I have left.
So.
Apparently, there are security cameras placed everywhere in this place. And when I say everywhere, I meant even the room where the 'gay moment' happened between us two boys.
I've been made aware of this truth by the most unconventional manner with my mother shooting the door down like she's Xanxus after the emergency mission. She made a grab for Basil and I before she hugged us to death while gushing about how adorable the two of us are. Meanwhile Iemitsu just laughed his ass off while proclaiming to the world how they chanced upon the moment through the recordings of the surveillance camera.
"Haha. I think Ene-kun should have more play dates with Basil." The blonde haired boss stated; a statement to which my mother agreed wholeheartedly with.
…
…
…
And that is how I have come to the conclusion that if I wanted to survive in this world, I have to start praying to a higher force for the patience I need to pull through with this life of utter insanity.
[1] "You don't do that to me" is a phrase that stemmed from a TV controversy that eventually evolved to something as a meme in the Philippines.
[2] Komatsu D575A is currently the largest bulldozer in existence.
Author's Note: So yeah, this is basically an interaction chapter between the original character and a few CEDEF members. Though to me it's actually between just Iemitsu, Basil and Sepira. Totally lacking, I know I'm not satisfied with it either. And to make up for it, I am more or less gonna start the first phase by next chapter if I managed to outline the events properly. Anyway, sorry for any grammatical errors. Comments and suggestions are always welcome.