"Henry, hey, listen! You have to let him go."
Dean insisted, shaking his shoulder and trying to get him to loosen his deathly tight wing-grip around James. "No..no..I won't let.." He was mumbling feverishly, the wings tightening even closer. "Sam, go grab Cas. Hurry." Dean hissed, trying with no avail to pry the wings apart. "C'mon, Henry. Come on." He made a particularly harsh shove, and Henry suddenly sent out some kind of sonic burst, all the windows in the car shattered and pebbles of glass cascaded from all sides. At least it seemed to drain Henry of the very last of his energy source, as the wings finally drooped and Dean quickly unwrapped James from them.
The man was white as a sheet, he moaned and curled into his wound. "Ah, ah, oh my god..." Dean wasn't feeling as sharp as he usually did in situations like this, he spent a split second too long staring in fear at the little man curled up among the golden wings. Dean let himself by gently pushed aside as Cas kneeled down and pulled the man out of Henry's grasp, quickly shooting out blindingly white healing energy into his body as Dean saw the stab wound smooth over, Cas cradeled the half-angel close and breathed a sigh of relief.
"Is he okay? Jesus..Cas, is he okay?" Dean knelt down next to the Impala and felt his forehead, his skin was cold and clammy. "I knew he was going to get hurt. I knew he was going to do something stupid. God dammmit!"
"He needs rest." Cas said calmly, easily keeping him in his arms and heading back into the bunker. "Henry does as well." Sam gently lay his hand on Henry's cheek, an extremely concerned expression on his face as he went to pick up Henry as well.
Dean trailed behind Cas, feeling like he was floating as he felt numb from shock. He followed Cas all the way into his own bedroom, where the angel sat down with his back against the headboard, keeping James protectively curled on his chest. Dean realized now that they were alone; just him, Cas, and their son.
"He lost a lot of blood. But he should be fine with a little rest." Cas looked up at Dean, his eyes clouded with worry. Dean sucked in a little breath and started the conversation he'd been dreading since James had arrived. "Cas..."
Cas pulled James closer, and the man moaned slightly and his head drooped to Cas's shoulder. "I know. I know you find this situation very odd. I'm sorry." Dean slipped on to the bed and swept James' hair from his cold face, he still felt tense from the fear. "It's not about having a kid, not really. It's about..."
"The fact he is a nephilim? Understandably, I've never explained infant angel functions to you before, and the fact he is going through his first additions must have come as a shock, but-"
"No, Cas." Dean interrupted, feeling his face growing tighter. "It's about...why..you chose me to pair with." Cas looked confused as his eyes narrowed, he held James' head in place on his shoulder.
"Why wouldn't I choose you, Dean?" He asked quietly, sweetly. He looked down at James and a small smile came to his lips as he played softly with a strand of dark hair. James nuzzled closer, breathing slowly as Cas planted a little kiss on top of his hair. "Look at him. He's everything I admire about you too. I couldn't wish for a better firstborn."
Dean felt his breath catch in his throat. "Firstborn, Cas? He's really..James is really..." He had to take a second to run a hand through his hair in frustration. "Dammit, Cas, are you joking?" Dean scrubbed his face agrily, and Cas tipped his head to the side slightly. "Why would I..."
"You've never had a kid before? Ever?" He almost said it in an acusitory way. He found himself simmering, almost coming to a boil. He didn't know what he was so angry, but his tightly gripped fists were already shaking. Cas looked hurt as he tucked James' head to the space next to his neck. "No, I...James is my first fledgling."
Dean stood roughly off the bed, gripping his hair tightly in his hands. "What the hell is the matter with you?" He yelled furiously, so loudly that James' eyes opened just a little. "You chose your first kid to be a Winchester? What the fuck were you thinking?!"
"I don't know. I haven't lived that yet, I don't know the reasons for my actions. But I love him, Dean." Cas shot back, narrowing his eyes. "I love that he's a Winchester."
"No, Cas! Shut up!" Dean turned away. "It's because of me that he got hurt! If I wasn't his dad..if it was only you.." He felt tears slip down his cheeks, he couldn't get a grip on his emotions right now. "This is my fault. He's hurting because of me."
"His pain in not your fault." Castiel said calmly, smoothing down James' hair and rubbing his temples tenderly. When he smiled down at their son, that's what really set Dean off.
"Why would you do this to him? To yourself?" The words just shot up from his throat, he wasn't actually sure where they even came from. He felt scared at the idea that the angel and him shared a kid. Of course he had doubts sometimes about his real feelings for Cas, and James was pretty fucking perfect. And these two things scared him shitless.
"Stop pretending! Stop playing house! James' life is going to be fucked up because you chose me! You've cursed your first born child, Cas, so con-fucking-grats!" He fumed, storming from the room and out to the living room, he buried his face in his hands and tried not to think about anything for just a minute. Cas didn't come out, and Dean was grateful for that at least. Sam did, and he came and sat next to Dean.
"This has been a crazy couple of days, hasn't it?" Sam said, sighing. "Is James okay?" Dean nodded, keeping his eyes to the ground. "Cas is taking care of it. How about Goldfinger over there?"
Sam smiled just a little at the nickname. "He's resting. I hate to say it, but I think I have to call Gabe down sooner or later. Cas just..might not have all the answers." Dean nodded again, hiding his face in his hands. Cas told me James is his firstborn. He wanted to say, but he didn't even want to say it aloud. He felt sick thinking about how James had gotten hurt on the job, how he was dragging Cas down with him once again. He wanted Cas to not be burdened by him for much longer, but that wasn't an option anymore. He just didn't want to see Cas hurt anymore, and if that meant he'd have to sacrifice his own happiness, so friggin' be it.
...
That night had not been easy for Dean. He barely spoke a word after his short conversation with Sam, he set up James' bed again and ate dinner wordlessly by himself. Even his unconscious was out to get him as he dropped into a rocky sleep.
Blood was everywhere, and there was so much of it. "Dad?" James' voice echoed through his mind. "Dad?! Help me!" His voice was raw with fear, tearing through the air. But by the time he got to him, he was nothing more than a bloody mass, a skinless human being, a red pulp. "James..oh, Jesus...Jamie.." He knelt down, and the skinless corpse opened his dark blue, hope-diamond eyes, the whites of his eyes popping in contrast with the blood on his entire face. "This is your fault. This is your fault, Dean." As he spoke, Dean could see his teeth through his cheeks, more flesh was falling away, he was dying, rotting right before him..
Dean flew up in bed with a deep gasp, as a hand flew to his chest. He tried to steady his breathing, and he blinked a few times before rubbing his eyes. He slipped quickly from his bed, padding out quietly in the dark to find his son. He hated that he'd gotten in a fight with Cas, but there wasn't really any other way to let out all the pent-up emotions he was bottling up.
James was fast asleep on the couch, lying on his side with his arm outstretched and his head resting on it. Dean felt another rush of relief as he saw him breathe deeply in and out, he was all there and not a horrific bloody mess. He pulled up the ottoman and sat right in front of him, taking in the kid's relaxed and sleeping features for a second. He reached out tentativeley, and smoothed his thumb over the short, soft hairs just next to his ear, then moved up and pushed his hair from his forehead. James smiled just a little, snuggled down into his pillow and let out a small snore. Dean found himself smiling and he ran his thumb over the soft hairs of his somewhat-sideburns again. He really was a good kid, wasn't he?
"He's dreaming about you. It's not a nightmare either, I'm guessing that's why you're awake." Cas said quietly, walking into the room. Dean took his hand away right away and sighed. "Look, Cas, I'm sorry I yelled at you." He said in on exhale, choosing not to look at Cas but at James instead.
The angel didn't respond, but only stood next to Dean and stared at him with a confused expression. "I don't understand why you were so angry when I told you he was my first child." He narrowed his eyes and tipped his head slightly to the side. "Did you think..."
"I was thinking I don't deserve that, okay? That's what I was thinking." He voiced his true feelings finally. "I wanted you to have pretty little pure angel babies and romp around in that heaven of yours and not have to be tied to a person like me. James is going to get hurt because I'm his father. You're going to have to take care of him when he gets hurt, and that's all on me. Don't you understand that?" He looked at his shoes and swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "You should have chosen someone else." He breathed, shaking his head that was hung in shame.
Cas was suddenly crouched down, he was sneering as he roughly grabbed Dean's shirt, forcing him to look up from the floor. "This is what you do, Dean! Push people away, every time!" He hissed at him, giving him a small shake. "You don't think you deserve to be loved? You don't think you deserve to have family, or be the father of my firstborn?" He let go of his shirt and stood up angrily. "I had the opportunity to give you a child who would be able to defend himself, to be able to save himself in case you couldn't. Had he been human, Dean, that would have killed him. I wanted to give that gift to you, after everything you've done for me." He explained, and clenched his hands into angry fists.
"James is better than anything I ever expected. I'm honored to call him my son." Cas's eyes were narrowed as he stood pin-straight. "You need to realize you're not worthless, Dean. You have the right to be loved, to have a people who love you. You've earned that, Dean." A tear was sparkling in his eyes, unshed. I love you. Can't you see that, you beautiful broken-souled bastard?
Dean looked into James' face and locked his jaw, narrowing his yes. "No." He said gruffly, shutting his eyes in pain for a second. "I've earned nothing." Cas stood in shock; after everything he'd just told him, after literally trying to shake the sense into him...he still didn't understand. Dean refused to look at Cas again as he kept his eyes closed and his head unmoving. "Goodnight, Cas." He said it like an order, like it really meant "Go away." Cas listened, as he left into another room. But he would never leave Dean, not when he was hurting and broken like this. And Cas knew that he and James might just be able to put him back together again.
Hello! Thanks for reading! Everything will unfold in good time- Gabriel and Henry's relationship, as well as Cas and Dean's. Also, this chapter got me thinking...Henry sure as hell isn't Gabe's only son considering Gabriel is Loki. I'm a sucker for all mythology, so I definitely want to bring in Henry's other brothers including Fenrisulfr (Fenris Wolf) and Sleipnir (Eight-legged horse) in later chapters. Just for fun I might be hopping into characters heads for a little POV switchup as well. Thanks so much for the support! Please review :)