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"I want to see my son."
"Are you seriously asking to see the kid you threw away four years ago?" Edward asks Phil after an indeterminate amount of time where I just stand there in shock.
"I made a mistake."
My mouth drops open then slams shut as anger overpowers the shock. The knot inside my stomach twists and burns. Then I react the way any other caregiver would react.
"Over my cold, dead body, you motherfucker!" Edward grabs me by the waist almost as soon as I launch myself at Phil. My arms and legs are flailing, and I think I knee Edward in his junk. I have a brief flash of guilt over injuring his cock, but he shouldn't have gotten in my way when I'm trying to fuck this dude up for daring to even ask to see Seth.
"Baby, stop," Edward coos, "Calm down. He isn't worth it." I'm over his shoulder and he's gripping my ass to keep me from Phil. It'd be hot if I weren't trying to bring bodily harm to this idiot. "I'm going to put you down now." I sigh my acquiescence. He slowly slides me down his rock hard, sweaty body. Again, this would be hot if it wasn't so messed up.
"I know he isn't worth shit," I say belligerently, looking straight at Phil. "You're nothing but a sperm donor."
"Bella, please listen. I'm not trying to take him away from you. I know you've been raising him all this time since...since Renee died. I just...I just wanted a chance."
"You signed away your chance years ago. I have all the documents."
"I was trying to stay away - to give him a chance at a normal life with you - but when I saw him...I just couldn't do it anymore. You have to understand I'm not the same person I was then. I have a steady job and a house."
I calm myself by taking a deep, cleansing breath. I realize that I've been acting like I'm on the panel of a trashy talk show where the day's topic is "My Momma's Baby Daddy Came Back."
And that's really not the image I'm going for.
"I don't care if you won the lottery. You gave him away. I wanted him. It's all legal."
"I just want a chance. I'll give you some time to think. I have your number and address. Here's mine." He holds out a card, which I childishly refuse to take. Edward takes it for me, and steps closer to Phil. Phil is a tall guy, but he's nothing compared to my Edward. I watch the muscles twitch in his forearms as he clenches his fists.
Is it wrong that I'm aroused by my boyfriend intimidating another man?
If it is, then I don't wanna be right.
"Okay, you said what you needed to say. Now leave. And if you come near my girlfriend or Seth without their permission, you will be sorry." He says this in an eerily calm voice and ends with a smile. He's almost as bad-ass as Es me. Phil turns and leaves without another word. I breathe a sigh of relief. I'd probably fall apart if he wasn't here for me.
"I'm sorry I got so crazy right now, Edward." I reach out and grab his hand. He squeezes back.
"I almost laughed when you called him a motherfucker. I was thinking he literally was one." He snorts. I half choke, half sob, which makes Edward look panicky.
"Bella, I swear everything is going to be okay. I'll make sure that he doesn't bother you or Seth." His words and the fierce expression on his face make me feel just a bit better.
Edward is so protective. I love him.
And I desperately want him. Being with him might help me leave this day behind. I watch as a drop of sweat trickles down his neck.
I wonder if he'd think I was gross if I offered to lick the sweat off of him.
Probably not. I know how much he likes to lick me. Repeatedly. Until I beg him to stop. Oh my god.
"Bella?"
I'm brought back to the moment by Edward's voice.
"Yeah?"
"You have that look...are you having a sex fantasy right now?" he asks. His voice is laced with humor.
"I - uh..." am a total whore for you and your every movement.
He steps closer to me, wrapping his arms around me and sliding his hands down to just above my ass. His thumbs dip below the waistband of my shorts and trace the elastic of my underwear. "What's making you so hot right now?" he whispers in my ear. "Do you like me all dirty?"
I think I whimper. He keeps at it. "I can be so much dirtier, baby. Any way you want me."
I think he's testing out a hypothesis: Can I make Bella come with just dirty talk?
Yes, please. I am his extremely willing test subject. Willing to participate in many trials.
"Hey Cullen!" someone yells from behind us breaking up our little grope fest. "Coach wants you."
Lucky that he stopped us. I wouldn't be setting the best example for a custody hearing with an arrest for public indecency.
"Wait for me in the parking lot. We'll finish this at your house. Many times." He winks.
"Edward..." I whine. "Stop being so sexy. I can't take it."
"Oh, you'll take it, Bella. And beg for more."
I gasp. And then run to the parking lot.
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"So you totally kicked his ass or slapped him, right?" Alice asks over lunch as I tell her the rest of the Phil story.
"No. Edward held me back."
"Damn it. But I guess Jasper would've done the same thing."
I don't tell her that Jasper probably would've tried nonverbal spells to keep her from fighting. Or tried to create a portkey to escape to Hogwarts. I let her think he's normal.
"It was for my own good. It's not like I know how to fight or anything. My experience consists of that time I tried to do booty boot camp at the gym."
"That was fail. I had to massage your ass for a week."
"My ass is nice. You're lucky you got to touch it."
"I agree. And Edward does too, considering how you limped in here like someone got pounded all night long."
"It wasn't all night," I retort. "Just a few times. I can't help it if he's got stamina."
Alice laughs. "I'd be jealous if I didn't have Jasper. The other day I was sore when he was trying out some sort of tantric-Sting thing. He was so hot saying all sorts of chants. He must've done some research to try to please me."
Tantric. Right. I'd bet money he was trying some sort of "don't come yet" spell he found on the perverted version of Pottermore. You'd think Alice would be smart enough to tell the difference. I guess she's unobservant to anything besides Jasper's cock. I try not to think of him yelling out something like "Subsisto peni" while drilling my bestie.
But I still shudder.
"You know I have your back, right? I asked one of my professors about custody rights. He doesn't have much of a case, but there is a slim chance. I know lots of people who will take this on."
"And if not, Esme has offered to have someone make him disappear."
Alice laughs. "I need to meet Esme."
"If I wasn't dating Edward, I'd be dating her. Or maybe Carlisle. The whole family is so awesome and gorgeous. It's like they were all genetically engineered."
"Really?" Alice leans forward. "Did Big Daddy give you lady wood?"
"Gross. I don't think about him like that."
"Not that hot?"
"No, he's that hot."
"Like Clooney?"
"Definitely like Clooney."
"Oh my god."
"Right?"
"Your kids with Edward will be so pretty."
"I know," I say dreamily.
Alice snorts a laugh. "I've never seen you like this."
"I've never been like this."
"It's a good look. You're glowing. But it might just be all the extra protein you're ingesting."
"Alice!"
She laughs.
I pretend to look offended. I'm not.
I don't tell her she's probably right.
My skin has never looked better.
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"Hey Bella! You're early," Jasper squeaks out. "I wasn't expecting you until later." He looks around guiltily. Like something strange is going on.
Oh my god, please don't tell me Alice is under his desk.
"I was just working on my new app."
I sigh in relief. Alice and I are very open with each other, but we're not at the voyeur stage. Not that either of these two sex freaks would mind.
"Great. The chemistry jokes one?"
"No. That's done. I already sold it. This one calculates sexual chemistry."
Oh, for fuck's sake. The boy finally gets laid and suddenly he's a sexpert. I cover my snort with a cough.
"I entered Edward's and your info into it, and it says you have explosive sexual chemistry. That's the highest level."
Well, maybe the boy is on to something. He is a genius in the chemistry field.
"It'll get more accurate when I can figure out how to integrate the pics of your sexual organs."
Oh my god. I retract my earlier thought.
"Um, you can go for the day, Jasper. I'm going to get some work done. I'll take the rest of your shift."
"Thanks. Alice is going to help me work on this. She has some, er, ideas to try out." Of course she does. She probably has a binder with illustrations that's color-coded.
"Awesome. Bye, Jasper."
He leaves with a flourish. I could swear he was trying to Disapparate.
I giggle and then forget all about Jasper and his porn app and focus on my work. I have to get everything done before I get home so I can concentrate on Edward tonight. It's been a few days since I've seen him, since he's been out of town for games.
I'm completely absorbed in my thesis when I hear a throat clear.
"Ahem."
I look up to see a gorgeous blonde woman staring at me impatiently. She looks strikingly familiar.
"May I help you?" I ask.
"Yes, if you're not too busy," she rolls her eyes as she says this, "you could tell me if my brother is around. He said he was going to be working."
Holy shit, it's Rosalie. "Um, Jasper left for the day. You must be Rosalie. Hi, I'm Bella." I hold out my hand and smile.
"Yeah. I figured." She gives me a once-over and ignores my hand. She sighs like she's annoyed that I've introduced myself. "You're the one dating his brother. Good luck with that. Although I guess he's probably good for sex." She laughs bitterly. "Well, I guess Jasper's with that girl he's doing. I'll text him later when he's...done." And she flounces out the door.
Ok-ay. I guess Riley got his personality from Emmett. If she didn't look so much like Jasper, I'd swear they weren't related.
I will never again wonder why he's getting divorced. I'll just wonder why he's sad about it.
Did she drug Emmett to get him to marry her?
Maybe she stole some of Jasper's love potion. That, or she had a personality transplant.
That's the only possible way.
Because Rosalie is a total bitch. Ugh. I'm so glad that she left before she ruined my night. It might've taken more than two seconds for Edward to get me worked up if I had to keep thinking about her rudeness.
But everything is right in my world as I get back to work.
Until I get a phone call.
From him.
And it totally ruins my day. And maybe my life.
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A/N: Yes, I know. I'm an evil cliffie-whore. And a slacker. Blame my kids' sports schedule (no hot coaches, unfortunately) and Candy Crush for the lack of updates.
Thanks to Team Goiterward for prereading: twilover76, Rtgirl, and les16.
Cosmogirl is my right hand woman. DM her if you want her to write a Hermaphroditeward. Hahahahahahahaha.