Disclaimer! I do not own Vampire Diaries or its characters! But Alex and her story are mine, please do not use them.

Present

Alex

"What are you doing here Damon?" I asked quietly, wary as a soft wind blew across the clearing. It is beautiful tonight; starry skies shining down on a warm summer's eve, the moon gilding the forest in quicksilver. He is beautiful too, a shadow of winter, dark hair tousled and green eyes vibrant. He made my heart flutter.

His smile was slow. "Don't you remember Alex? This place is ours." Damon chided gently. So it was, and how I wished we no longer shared it. I would forget this place, but it holds some small part of me that was not bitter and resigned. A memory of Alexandria—my life so many years ago—when I was happy and sweetly content.

"You left it." I replied back, lips numb. The resounding words behind it filled the clearing. He left it and he left me. Something akin to…was it remorse that crossed through his eyes?

The soft breeze lifted the long grass as if in an inhale as Damon moved closer to me. I did not move, eyes flickering with accusation. He stopped before me. "Cannot you forgive me, dearest Alexandria?" he whispered softly, thumb brushing along my cheekbone; feather light and intoxicating. My breath caught while longing speared my heart. But I could see the teasing in his eyes, those beautiful, treacherous eyes, and pulled back with my temper flaring.

"Goodbye, Damon." I snapped, turning from him and towards my car. A hand caught my wrist and pulled me close. I should not have hoped to be let go without a hassle.

Damon was not smiling when I locked my jaw and looked back. His free hand went around my waist, something new burning in his eyes. Anxiety flared in my stomach. I could hurt him if I had to! "Let me go Damon!" The words were a warning and a demand in one. His hand left my wrist and I made to leave his grasp until his fingertips found my cheek. Almost against my will, I froze and stared.

I knew now what was heating those eyes to molten gems. I had seen it before, when he was to leave for the Confederate Army. It was regret and love and passion; breathtaking. All too suddenly my mouth was dry, heart racing. "D-Damon! Don't—" He didn't listen, he never did. The hand cupping my cheek angled my face upwards, his arm around my waist drawing me close as his lips found mine.

Warmth spread through my body, delicious and altogether familiar. Shock shot through my blood and for a moment I resisted, trying to pull away. Damon only held me closer, lips fervent against mine. I could only hold out so long…

It took seconds and then I was sighing, fingertips tangled in his hair, pulling myself closer. I remembered this, the way our bodies could fit perfectly and the soft pressure of his lips felt against mine. I remembered, and I loved the way he bit down to draw a quiet moan from my lips. Tender and sweet, his hand slipped from my cheek and suddenly both arms were around me.

I had missed this.

"Alex…." He sighed, leaving my lips to run his along my cheek, my jaw, my neck…

"Damon-" I could hear my heart pounding, feel the goose bumps spread. Oh I had missed this, wanted this for so long! "Damon-" the words were on the tip of my tongue, hidden for ages. I spoke them only in whispered, dark thoughts. And now, now they were rushing over my tongue. I wanted to say it. I wanted to hear those words. "Damon I—"

And suddenly he was gone, the clearing wiped away as my bedroom replaced it. Hot tears were sliding down my cheeks. God…I had missed it! Missed the kiss of my killer! I had been happy and safe! Safe in his arms!? Shaking I curled into the blankets that could not warm my skin.

Aching, I let the control fall and covered my mouth to hide the sobs. My body had betrayed me earlier. Now even my heart was betraying me. The realization was frigid and numbing. I love him. I still, after everything, love Damon Salvatore.

The sheets were off me in seconds, scattered to the hardwood floor. The house was silent as I scrambled downstairs. I tripped on the last step, catching myself on the banister. Tears were streaming down my face. Whiskey was out on the den counter already, Da' must have gotten at it before bed. Anger flared in my stomach. I was crying over him! Jesus—crying over the guy who had compelled my father! Swearing, I dug my nails into my palm and forced myself to breathe. Breathe and forget. The bottle touched my lips, hard liquor burning a trail down my throat. He didn't deserve it. I knew he didn't. Damon was a user and a manipulator; dangerous. I shouldn't be crying for him. Another sip, and the tears began to ease.

I shouldn't be crying for him, but I was. There was hole somewhere in my chest and it was searing, pulsing like a burn. Gods it hurt! How could I still love him? Some divine deity tell me how! Fate wasn't going to answer though. Another sip and the anger began to simmer. Now I was just angry at myself. I hated this feeling! I hated knowing that I still loved him.

Bleakly I stared at the bottle in my hand. The whiskey was easing away the pain, easing away the memory. A salty tear slipped down my cheek and dropped into the bottle. Drink and forget. Breathe and forget. I could do it…I could do it. Christ I was sounding like the Little Engine That Could, except deep down, something is telling me that I can't.

That realization hurt more than the goddamn hole in my chest.

Another sip. Drink and forget. Denial and Jack Daniel's are my new best friends.

Sorry this took so long guys, I was having some issues channeling Alex's reaction. Anywho, rate, comment, critique, and shoot me some ideas!

Theme Songs:

"Jar of Hearts" – Christina Perri

"Skinny Love" – Birdy

"Gravity" – Sara Bareilles