Sorry for such the long wait, guys! You know how blocks are :/ Thanks "M" for the review, it reminded me that I should work on this again :)
Next chapters I'm going to have less angst and more fluff and just general happiness. About time for these poor guys, haha!
I have a question! Please review and tell me if anything is confusing or what I should go back and edit. I know it can be kind of choppy, etc.
Thanks for reading! :)
Dean was pacing back and forth, worried out of his mind. Life seemed to do that little thing where it dangled a carrot in front of his nose only to rip it away seconds before he could reach it.
James was his son. And now he was disappearing.
Sam and Henry where finally looking more affectionate than normal, they were sitting together with Sam's arm draped over Henry's shoulder, as the kid had his eyes closed and their heads were leaning together, matching dark brown hair pressed together. Sam was moving his lips but no sound was coming out, and it wasn't very hard for Dean to tell he was praying.
James was sitting next to Cas, looking up guiltily at Dean as he paced, his dark blue eyes tracing and following him as he went back and forth.
"I don't know where we went wrong. I don't know what we changed to have this...this happen." James said hoarsely under his breath, blinking heavily and looking into Cas's face.
"This is one of his greatest fears." Cas voiced to Dean, concern hardening his features. "It has been for a long time."
"Well, how the fuck do I fix this?" Dean bellowed, gripping his hair tight. "I want my son, and I want my nephew." He squeezed his eyes shut, angry with himself. Why was this happening?
He got an idea.
"Cas, stand up." Dean said quickly, his features still grim. The angel glanced at James before slowly standing up.
His features were stony and his fists were loosely clenched, he was avoiding Dean's eyes. "I am going to say that I am willing to do anything as long as I am able to save my-umff!"
His little speech was interrupted as Dean smushed his lips against his, his eyes shut tight as he'd surged forward and wrapped his arms around his midsection. Cas was taken aback, his eyes flying wide before finally fluttering closed, his unsure arms clumsily wrapping back around Dean as he was tilted slightly back by the force of the kiss.
Dean pulled away and pressed his cheek to Cas's, whispering into his ear only. "I'm sorry I got into a fight with you. I never expected to see someone like James, but I'm glad I did. I was so wrong, Cas. I was just jealous at my future self for having you, as stupid as that sounds." He ran his hand up his coarse hairs on the back of his neck. "Your firstborn, that belongs to me. I love you, and I have for a long time. I was scared to admit that, but dammit, not anymore."
Dean was extremely surprised when he felt a kiss press softly and sweetly back to his own lips. He blinked his jade eyes in surpise and waited for the angel to speak, but instead he was completely silent as he just kept his head tucked tightly to Dean's chest, hugging quietly like a little kid would.
Dean smiled and felt his heart warm up a little as he rubbed his back a little and looked up to James.
"Did that help?" He asked, letting out a husky little laugh as he was squeezed tighter.
James looked at his semi-transparent fingers, wiggled them just to be sure, and shook his head. "Sorry, dad."
Dean frowned a little and dipped his head, wrapping his arms tightly around Cas's back. "It was worth a try."
...
Dean waited with Cas and James, waiting for Sam to get out of his room so he could talk with him. James was curled up as Cas pressed a floppy pink hot water bag to his head, he was grimacing as Cas pushed his damp hair out of his face. Cas had told him that this was the very end of aquiring his new additions, the last little bit of pain before his antlers would become a permanent fixture in his true form. Dean was only further reminded that he was really only a baby in angel-years. And no one should have to die as a child.
Finally there was the soft sound of a door being pulled shut, and Dean quickly got up, meeting Sam's worried eyes. "Sammy," He said gruffly. "We need to talk."
He ran a hand through his long brown hair. "I know, Dean. I-"
"We have to find out what changed." Dean interrupted him, and Sam spoke up again, irritated.
"Dean, don't you get it? I have..I have a son now. And I mean, that's really..." He laughed painfully. "I don't get many things that go right in my life. You know that better than anyone, dammit."
Dean frowned. "Yeah, I know."
Sam hid his eyes with his palm. "I haven't even talked to Gabe about this yet. Well, current Gabe." He met Dean's eyes and sighed.
"You're..with Cas now, aren't you? I guess I should wear my earplugs tonight." He said bitterly, shoving his hands deep in his pockets.
"So what, Sam? Do you have a problem with us?" Dean shot back. "I love him. I don't really care what you think."
"Dude, I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I'm...happy for you. Really." Sam sighed.
"You just want your own angel here too." Dean voiced for him. Sam bit his lips together and after a second he nodded.
"Yeah," Sam said hoarsely. "Yeah, I do."
"Have you tried praying to him?" Dean asked, even though he already knew the answer.
"What do you think, Dean?" Sam shot back.
Dean shut his eyes. God, this was going to be embarrassing explaining how he secretly prayed to Cas. Well, he'd just kissed him anyway.
"Try..." Dean started, clearing his throat. "Try praying to him, not at him. Act like they're already right in front of you instead of far away in some place in heaven. Show them..." He blushed when he said aloud the phrase he visualized each time he really connected with Cas. "I always think to myself..'show them your bleeding heart.'"
Sam finally smirked a little. "You really think that every time?"
Dean flushed redder and got defensive. "Not every time, but...when I do, that's when he comes."
Sam still was smiling. "Okay then." His pesky little-brother eyes were boring into Dean. There was an awkward silence.
"What?"
"Dude, I didn't need time-traveling nephilim to come back for me to know you to have a thing for Cas." Sam smirked annoyingly.
"Shuddup." Dean muttered and waved away the comment, stalking away. "Just try it."
Sam sat on the bed where Henry was sleeping, his hands a little jittery before he clasped them together and let out an anxious little sigh. He licked his lips and started.
"Hey Gabe." He started out, the ghost of a smile on his face as he let out a 'hmmf' at how stupid he was probably going to sound.
"I'm, uh, praying to you, not at you, okay?" He squeezed his hands together. "I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. Dean and Cas's son and our-" He broke himself off. "And, uh, his cousin came back here. And now they're just...disappearing. I want them to be okay, godammit, I know I've only known them for a few weeks but-"
He swallowed back a watery voice. Henry stirred behind him, rustling the sheets. "Look." He said gruffly. "We have a son named Henry. And I need him in my life. Sure he's a cocky little shit, but god, I need him. Please-"
"Hi Sam."
Gabriel appeared standing in front of him, wearing a green jacket and rumpled jeans, his hands shoved deep in his denim pockets. He was still smirking, and he seemed very different than the future Gabe who'd came back to watch over Henry after the accident.
Sam let out a sigh of relief and ran a hand through his hair. "Thanks for showing up."
"To be honest, I didn't hear you until just now." He shrugged his shoulders. "Who taught you how to actually pray?"
"Dean," Sam finally laughed a little. Gabe being here was helping him calm down.
"I'm sure he did." Gabriel chuckled and lowered his eyes. He saw Henry.
"Father," He breathed, his eyes finally softening. "This is him?" He was quiet as he went up to the bed and was observing him.
"I guess you're wondering-" Sam started, but was interrupted as Gabriel slowly reached out an arm and brushed his fingers on Henry's shouder.
"I already know how it's possible. Children of Light aren't something I've done yet, however." Gabriel frowned a little. "How...old did you say he was?"
"Twenty-three." Sam knit his eyebrows together. "Why..?"
"Just looking at him, he looks at least a hundred thousand years old." His face fell in realization. "He didn't-"
"There was an accident." Sam admitted. "He came back here with James, and when James got hurt he..I don't understand it as much as Cas, but something got triggered."
"Father, really?" Gabriel looked unhappy. Aging all at once like that was one of the worse experiences in the angel world. "Poor kid."
He gently took Henry's hand laying there and examined it. "Jesus, he's giant." Gabriel chuckled. "Look at these hands."
Sam blushed.
"I know exactly what this is." Gabriel announced, much to Sam's relief.
"Why couldn't Cas figure it out?" Sam asked, wondering why in the hell he was smiling at Henry's transparent fingertips.
"Cas is the baby of the family, Sammy. He really overestimates what he knows." He held up Henry's hand with the ghosty fingertips. "This is looking a hell of a lot like a case of alternate dimension-icitis."
"Alternate- what?" Sam shot out.
"These two aren't exactly from this timeline anymore, Sam. Let me guess, misfortunes by the truckload? Coming here to change things?"
Sam pressed his lips together. "They said they came here to hunt down a demon. But yeah, Gabe, Henry was really broken up about you leaving him."
Gabriel's face uncharacteristically fell, his eyes twinkling sadly. "What do you mean I left him?"
"He told me that I was the only father he had. That you left before he could even remember."
Gabe frowned and clasped Henry's heavy hand with two of his. "Well, shit. Sam, I would never just abandon you two. Not if I could help it."
Sam felt his heart squeeze in his chest. He didn't get a chance to speak up, however.
"We don't know why their timeline is suddenly obsolete and what the new one will look like. See how he's not really gone yet? Neither is the timeline he's from." Gabriel started to explain.
"It's complicated. But say I went into the future, it would still be this one, the one he's from. Reality hasn't made the shift to the new line yet. Once they disappear completely, that's when time-traveling forward could bring us to the new future. Until then, to get there we'd have to dimension-hop. And so far, the only person I know who can do that is Daddy himself." Gabriel was holding Henry's hand up to his chest. It really was big in comparison.
Sam swallowed back a nervous lump. "So, we don't know if the new future ends up better or worse?"
Gabriel frowned. "Yup. There's really no way to tell yet."
"But what about my Henry?" Sam asked, and Gabriel finally grinned.
"He's not really disappearing, Sam. Where there's birth there's always birth." Gabriel reached out and brushed some hair off of Henry's forehead. "Wow, he's gorgeous."
Sam felt his cheeks burning. "Yeah." That was all he managed to say, and immediately felt like a dumbass after the word had left his mouth.
"Sam, I like you. I have ever since you were little, if that's creepy enough for you." Gabriel joked, and Sam let out a nervous puff of laughter.
"Look, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Just because I'm an archangel doesn't mean I know everything. Dammit, I was flirting with you by killing your brother over and over and smashing you in the nuts."
Sam couldn't help but let out a pent-up laugh. "Yeah, Gabe, that was..uh, probably not the best thing to do."
Gabriel laughed too. "Yeah, in hindsight maybe not. I was just trying to help you, though. Playing around a little to try and teach you a lesson, to try and demonstrate what you should do against my dick brothers."
"You really were helping me, huh?" Sam finally realized. "Trying to help me and my brother through the apocalypse."
Gabriel nodded. "And I was too much of a coward to come back after he'd 'killed' me. I didn't know if.." He turned his eyes to look at sleeping Henry again instead. He brushed his hair from his face again. "Well, I guess this answers my question, huh?"
Sam was burning by now. "You said we didn't have sex for him." He blurted.
Gabriel laughed. "Honey, I know how the soul-mixing process works." He lifted an eyebrow. "Doesn't mean we don't." He winked.
Sam sputtered.
"That'll never get old." Gabriel smiled and was attempting to wake the sleeping giant instead. "Wake up, Henry. C'mon, sleepyhead."
Henry groaned and rolled to the side, stuffing his pillow over his ears. "I'm tired." He whined. "Ripping out demon souls is exhauing as fuck."
"You're a pottymouth, then. Wow, I'm proud."
Henry ripped the pillow from his head and shot up straight. "Dad." He was looking at Gabriel with a critical eye. "Younger dad, I'm guessing."
"Brainy, too. That's what I like in your father."
Sam covered his face.
Gabriel took Henry's hand in two of his. "Now tell me exactly what you said when this hand-thing happened."
Henry bit his lips together and averted his blue-green eyes. "Me and James were talking. He...if you can't tell like Cas could..I.." He didn't want to explain himself again.
"I see that damn piece of my brother in you, if that's what you mean." Gabriel was fuming. "Why I ever let him even come near you.."
"I did it to save James and Uncle Cas's life. Cas was dying when James was born, so I..." Henry cleared his throat. "Anyway. James asked if maybe there was another way. So I said 'maybe' and then we could see through our fuckin' hands."
Gabriel looked like he was thinking. "What caused Cas to have such a difficult time? With James?"
Henry puffed out a breath of air. "Don't remember exactly. Something about scars and Leviathans."
Gabriel's lips pressed to a line. "Oh, Cassie. What the hell am I going to do with you?" Gabriel sounded angry.
"What does you mean by that?" Sam asked, slipping up next to Henry. "What scars?"
"When little bro Cassie took in all those souls from Purgatory, then got rid of them again- it ripped up his grace like he'd given birth a million times in the same second. Scars are always more thick and just worse than the original shape. No wonder he had a hard time with James." Gabriel shook his head. "Cas..why the hell you'd get yourself involved with Purgatory.."
Sam brought his eyebrows togther. "Is there a cure for that, then? These scars he has?"
"'fraid not, Sammy." He frowned. " I'm still trying to wrap my head around how Lucifer saved the two of them."
"You're an archangel, right? Can't you do the same things he can?" Sam asked. "If we find another way to save Cas during labor, than this whole snowball of bad wouldn't form in the first place." Sam was trying to brainstorm, but he was coming up with nothing.
"Not true." Henry spoke up. "Gabriel left us when I was one, remember?"
"Why?" Gabriel asked softly. "Just tell me why, sweetheart." He held his hand up to his chest.
Gabriel was much sweeter than Sam would have thought. It didn't seem to surprise Henry. Sam felt a tiny little pang of happiness.
"You said God made you leave. That you had to go off and fight the big bads with Michael." Sam spoke up instead. His face fell. "I saw you, the one from the future. You looked so different, like you were just tired."
Gabriel frowned. "That sounds like it sucks." He snapped and a look of realization fell on his face.
"Oh, that's it! Why I didn't see it before- wow, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed." Gabriel shook his head and laughed. "I know how to fix everything. And I'm not going to leave you two this time around. I promise."
He clapped his hands on Sam's shoulders, and their eyes met. "Trust me, Sammy." He pulled forward and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.
"Ew." Henry laughed.
Sam blared bright red.
"I won't see you until God comes back in two years. But I'm sure we'll be ready to get cooking by then, huh?" Gabriel winked.
"But where are you going?" Sam asked. "How?"
"I'm finding my brother Raphael. And he's going to take my place. Then, I'll be there to save Cas and his little nephilim." He motioned to Henry. "You'll know if it's working when he starts disappearing."
Henry crossed his arms. "Oh, great." He said dryly.
"You'll still exist. Just not this you." Gabriel tried to explain.
"Not helping." Henry squeezed his arms together. His shard throbbed in his chest.
"I promise I would never hurt you. You have to trust me, sweetheart." Gabriel's words were sweet and Henry finally seemed to relax a little. "I love you and I'm going to help you."
Sam slung his arm over Henry's shoulder and looked up to Gabriel. "Good luck, Gabe."
The archangel smiled. "Bye, Sammy. Bye, Henry." And with a whooshing sound and a rustle of feathers, he was gone.
Sam hoped Gabriel was right. There wasn't much else he could do except trust him. Henry winced again as the shard pulsed again and he bit his lip.
Sam reached out and planted a hand on his chest in concern. "You never told me it hurts you." Sam said sadly. Henry didn't reply.
"I think you did the right thing. I'm proud of you, Henry." Sam smiled sadly.
And finally, the two of them wrapped into a huge bear hug, Sam kissing his hair and feeling tears gush from his eyes. He'd been cautious and reserved ever since Henry and his cousin had arrived. But this, feeling his son's broad shoulders under his arms as he squeezed, it was like he had missed someone he'd never met.
He'd been nervous about seeing Gabriel. But there was something about him that was so reassuring, that seemed to melt his nerves away. And that kiss had been entirely unexpected, but..he kind of liked it. The pure sweetness of it.
Sam smirked a little. Sweetness. Him and the candyman, who would have guessed?
He held his only son tight for a long time, and prayed to God that Gabe was right.