Author's Note-It's short, horrendously so, but I wanted to give you something. Updates may be a little few and far between for the next couple of months as I'm planning my birthday but I'll update as regularly as I can. NYLF xx
Kate was stood in the living room, her arms crossed tightly across her chest, holding her sides as if it was the only thing keeping her together. Rick lingered in the doorway of the office for a moment, watching with reverence and concern as she stared out of the window at the dreary day that had blanketed New York. She shifted from one foot to the other; her shoulders slumped as if the weight of the world was forcing her body down. Her breath caught every other inhale and Rick felt his heart sinking.
"Kate?" He murmured, not moving closer to her, knowing she'd need the space. "Kate Honey what's happened? What is it?" His heart landed at his toes with a thud when Kate's arm moved so she could wipe a tear from her cheek. "Kate?" He took half a step towards her out of instinct but stopped when she shook her head dejectedly, her hair falling to cover her face.
"I don't know that I can do this Rick." She murmured brokenly. Rick's stomach dropped, trying to meet his heart in his feet.
"What do you mean you 'can't do this'? 'This' what Kate?" Kate shrugged and Rick took a step towards her.
"Be Katherine Beckett, daughter of the alcoholic and murdered woman, trying to be normal for her boyfriend and his little girl but really just messing up and complicating their lives with all my issues." He closed the distance so he was stood behind her. He didn't touch her, not yet.
"Kate..."
"I should never have come here Rick." She murmured, turning to face him but keeping her eyes firmly on the floor. "I shouldn't have dropped you home that day. I should have let you take a cab and never have seen you again. It would have been better for everyone. You wouldn't have this crying mess of a girl making you pity her and Alexis wouldn't be becoming attached to the worst excuse for a maternal figure in the world." Rick dragged her into his chest and held tight despite her protests.
"Kate Beckett you listen to me." He practically growled in her ear. "I don't pity you. I like you Kate. I want to spend time with you. I want you in my life. And Alexis adores you.
"You haven't met her mother so I'll let you in on a secret, Kate. She abandoned her daughter for a part in a film. Abandoned her Kate. So, don't ever say you are 'the worst excuse for a maternal figure'. Okay? Never say that because you love her. You hold her when she cries; you make her smile more than I have ever seen her and Kate, I am proud to say that she has you in her life.
"Don't belittle that." Kate shuddered in his arms. "You're mom died in the worst way Kate and I can only imagine what that feels like. And I never met your mom so I have no authority to say this, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want you dismissing your own life because hers was taken. And your dad? He's an idiot for letting you go through this alone. A complete and utter idiot. But it will get better. He will get better. He'll get sober and then he'll be the dad you need.
"Meanwhile, I'll support you. I'll support you and care for you and comfort you and we'll get through this. Together. Don't say that you can't do it because you can. You are so strong, one of the strongest people I've ever met. And I love that about you. So don't ever doubt it, okay? Because I'm here Kate. And I'll carry you through if I have to. I won't let you fall." Kate sobbed and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling herself as close as she could. "I've got you." Rick murmured, holding her tighter. "I've got you Kate."