Inner Turmoil
Being that the restaurant is in Seattle, I have time to think about my dream.
Logically, I know that a dream is just that.
A dream.
But a part of me wonders . . . is that something that I want on a subconscious level?
Do I want to marry Edward?
Do I want to have his children?
Obviously not right now but . . . ever?
And why is everything changing so quickly; he's been my mate for all of one day!
Why should my entire life be laid out before me on the day of my sixteenth birthday?
It's too much.
It's too soon.
Edward was my first kiss - how am I supposed to know if I even liked it?
Oh, you liked it.
But how would I know? It's not like I have anything to compare it to.
And sex! I've never done that.
I've never even wanted to try it.
Is that something that he's going to expect?
Angela and Ben go at it like bunnies; is that what I'm going to want?
I've never had a boyfriend; how does that work?
Will I be clingy? Will he?
Will I wear the pants? Probably not, considering that he's capable of forcing me to do what he wants. But in that case, would he want me to wear the pants?
Not if he wants to get in my pants.
Will I skip school just to have sex with him?
Will I stop liking Lauren because Edward and her hate each other?
Is Edward possessive? Would he keep me from talking to my friends who are boys?
And how would that make me feel?
Would I argue with him?
Would it even be worth arguing with him?
This is too much.
You said . . .
I am going to try.
I'm trying.
I'll be nice tonight . . . but I have a lot to think about.
A lot to figure out.
And no more time because we just pulled into the parking lot.
Great.
A/N: Oh no!
Backtracking.
How will she treat Edward? Will she try communicating or will she hold it all in?
~ Madison ~